A Strange experience

[Guest Kaylee]

A few days ago, a local friend of mine (we’ll call him A) and I went out to the beach to see another friend (who we’ll call Cat). It’s been pretty hot out here where I live, and I thought the beach and cool ocean air would feel wonderful… so I decided to go without my wig.

As a habit, I do not leave the house without my wig, even in the miserable temperatures of 100 plus. I simply don’t feel comfortable, and in my rural area, I try my darndest not to draw any attention.

As a result of going out without my wig, I figured I would draw more attention than normal (which is not very much), but considering my friend Cat walks to the beat of a different drum, I figured we’d have extra attention anyway.

Most of the day went off without much issue. We had lunch, meandered around a small beach town that was gearing up for July 4^th, and walked on a rather crowded beach for a bit. A few looks perhaps… but no trouble.

As it got later in the day, before I took Cat home, we hit a few stores that I don’t have out by my house. As Cat and I were browsing the DVD section, a man walked by, looked at us, and stated … “I think you ladies belong in the PORN section.” We looked at each other for a second, wondering what just happened. Then Cat, being a sharp wit simply replied “yes…. It’s always more fun over there!” Luckily for me, A was elsewhere at that moment. Being the protective type, things may have escalated.

After dropping Cat off at her place, A and I began the 2 plus hour drive home. About half way, we decided to stop and have seafood for dinner.

When they sat us, it was in one of the side rooms, so 1 table on each side of the entry way, and 3 booths along the back wall. I ended up sitting with my back against the wall, facing the room. As A and I talked and ordered, I did happen to notice some looks coming from the booths along the back, but after a few minutes… I stopped caring.

As we neared the end of our meal, I noticed the group from the center booth get up and walk out… with one middle age woman with dark hair lagging behind. When she did finally get up, she veered over in my direction. As she did this, I thought to myself… “wait… there’s a wall behind me right? Where is the heck is she going?

This lady walks over with this strange look on her face, and I could tell she was 9 sheets to the wind. I see she has no intent on stopping, walks all the way up into my personal space… and hugs me… as I think… “what the heck is going on here crazy lady?”

“Thank you” she whispers to me… and moves out a step. She stands there for a second, and can obviously see the seriously confused look on my face… or maybe the look I give when I see crazy people. After a beat, she leans in again and says “Thank you”… gestures to herself in the noisy restaurant, and says “my nephew.” At that moment, I realized what this was all about. She took another step back, as I likely still looked confused, shocked, or embarrassed… and apologized stating “I hope that wasn’t inappropriate?” I assured her we were “good”, she thanked me again, and left the building.

A and I just looked at each other for a moment, and the encounter did NOT go unnoticed by the patron in the other booths. We laughed for a minute… and then I was totally ready to get the heck out of Dodge!

A story… we now have (yes, I speak like Yoda) “That time in the restaurant you remember? Yep.

Now, I believe I understand what this woman was feeling. After always believing that the number of trans-folks in the US was far more than always commonly stated, and the recent study finding we are almost double what was previously thought. I kind of understand she may feel that we are out there living our lives, making ourselves seen, and how it will affect trans youth in the future. Why me? Because I was there I suppose.

On another note, she did confirm what I already knew… The sort hair and the movie theatre forehead are big indicators that I am trans… so I am stuck with a wig for at least a while longer.

Dear lady, if you are out there… no harm no foul

Kaylee

[Guest Kelly Girl]

I'm glad it turned out OK , and it wasn't some lady coming up to you with a snide comment or worse .

We sure see some strange behavior being Transgender dont we :-)

[Guest Clair Dufour]

That's why some women wear hats, aviator sunglasses and such.

[Charlize]

Great story Kaylee. It also sounds a lovely day with good and understanding friends. Since i shave my head and am very fair i almost always wear my wig. When i don't i use a bandana and look like Old Mother Hubbard but at least my head doesn't get sunburned. Never been out that way but it could be fun.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Charlize A St Baldricks Cancer Research Tee shirt and/or button would do good with that look?

[JJ]

Yesterday in a store there was a cashier waiting on us I am sure was a transman. Yet I could not make contact or even indicate I read him. I saw no indication he had a clue about me - he did not make eye contact with people though he smiled and was friendly.

One of the down sides of fitting in so well is that when you see someone - especially someone you think might need that smile or affirmation - the very act of acknowledging them can be a burden rather than a boon. There is one other person I see regularly in a store who always greets me and my family and visits with us for a minute. A late middle age woman ( I say woman because at this point I have no way of knowing), dresses completely male with a male haircut. Not butch but very plain old male and somehow there is a subtle difference. I would not call her female except she has a female name on her name tag and her co-workers use female pronouns. I would so like to know if she is a trans man who can't transition further, or is unaware of the possibilities which is possible here, or gender bending. But again I cannot ask. She has not realized I'm trans. I suspect there are even more of us than the 1.4 million now postulated because I suspect there are still more hiding from themselves or unaware they can make changes or just feeling too isolated and alone to acknowledge -even to themselves sometimes- just what the true situation is. Had I seen or known other transmen earlier in my life I know the penny would have dropped far earlier and I would have had many more years to live as myself and perhaps avoided the physical damage those years of despair did.

I applaud you for going out as you are and handling a difficult situation with grace. It spreads the visibility and realization that we just go about ordinary lives like everyone else.

Johnny

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Well that certainly was interesting. I think I would have had the same initial reaction:

[Briana]

WOW Kaylee - I just read this. That is really strange...but interesting. Like others have said, you just never know how that's gonna turn out or what way that it's gonna go. In a strange way, it was somewhat touching. Yes - a story you do have!