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Huge Cost Of Transitioning


Guest Elizabeth K

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Guest Elizabeth K

Transitioning - how much can we afford to pay?

I am coming up on four months on HRT and I am leaving for my first consultation for electrolysis in a few minutes.

I have been in theraphy for over a half year.

I am living full time as a woman at home and as much of a male as I can in public, as I get stared at everywhere now.

I was fired from my job for being transsexual, although they tried to make it look like something else.

I am trying to find work, and this is the 30th day - and no interviews at all - terrible economy - and my savings are getting low.

I have bills for May coming up and no way to pay them all.

I have NO health insurance

I have a wife who tells me now, as soon as I am a 'real' woman (whatever that is - SRS?) she will go.

I told my best friend about my condition and now he avoids me.

I need to tell my 'born again, Christian Wrong' sisters about me - dreading that. My extended family is deceased, There are only my sisters and I living.

I am 61 and it seems unlikely I will reach permission for SRS for another two years! Will I live to see it?

I can't pay for SRS right now anyway - struggling to pay for therapy and electrolysis

BUT

My children support me.

I have 21 resumes out, something might break - I will keep at it until I get a job

My wife is here in the interium

I have a couple of rolls of quarters left - I can always cash them at McD

And I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN now. I just changed my avatar.

I am so happy!

But Gosh Darn it - it is sooooo expensive!

Elizabeth Anne

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Guest Leigh

sorry for all the low points...

i have to say i feel you on the cost...well, money. i don't have any of the cost of lost friends of loved ones (yet), and i'm very sorry that that's something you had to endure.

we all love you here.

peace&love

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Guest Little Sara

Imo, unless it is needed, you should arrange to space out therapy so you are seen once every 2-3 months instead of however often you are now. That'd be that saved, and if its just to verify your RLE, you don't need weekly visits.

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Guest StrandedOutThere

Lizzy! I am so sorry things cost so much! I've dropped serious cash on transition stuff too. I've got insurance, but might as well not. My insurance covers basically NOTHING. The only place I've gotten lucky is with top surgery. It was relatively inexpensive. Bottom surgery...ha! That's another story!

I wish I had some kind of solution that would end your woes forever. Here's a deal. If I win the lottery, I'll carve you off a chunk for SRS. We can go to Dr. McGinn together! I haven't seen her MTF work, but the FTM work I've seen is nice.

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Guest Magan

Hi Lizzy

I am taking things very slowly with my transition because its so expensive.

I am very sorry about your job Lizzy, I hope you find something soon.

You look great! I hope I will look half as feminine as you do after 4 months on HRT.

*hugs*

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Guest Donna Jean

Lizzy...your list is scary and sad...

For some of us it seems like just coming out and accepting ourselves is the end all/be all...we made it with that!

Well, not really.....

Once we are fully aware, it becomes apparent that we must continue on this journey and change....easier said then done!

The monetary costs alone are huge..MTF or FTM...

Family ....will you have any left?

Job ...will you have a job to pay all of the costs for everything...it is all very scary...

Lizzy...I, too am heading towards SRS..but, will I make it? Money, age, health, time?????

I won't know until it gets here...in the meantime I'll scrape to pay all of the things that I require right now...Therapy which I hope to be done with shortly....and electrolysis which will go on for a while...

We all do what we have to to get by...

At least most of us do realize WHO we are now and can build on that....

I truly wish everyone the best in their endeavors in this journey...

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

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Guest doodle

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time Lizzy. Money this is such a problem for us all. . Not having a job and not being able to get one. that is so bad for our self esteem. I hope you find something soon . It's great that your kids are standing by you. I wish I could help you some how.

love doodle

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Guest Evan_J

sigh** I think I went through a point just like the one you are in/were in about ...mmmm....maybe a month ago. Which (amazingly) would have been about 6 months for me too . Stress. Oh the stress whipped my [erm, you can't say that here lol]. Just looking at/ wondering "how the hell am I going to finish where I am". But we will. Faith. And letting go of that feeling. Not saying letting go of it will be easy but you can. And then you "coast". We have to. Till we get to the next "thing to do". I was in the company (at a support group) of a transwoman who "did everything but" her SRS 10 years ago. For 10 years she's been "waiting". Just the money holding it up. My question was "how did you do it?" Emotionally, how did you manage to "not break" for 10 years? I guess its just that she was willing to live -and not just exist -in the interim. She didn't say "oh, well since I can't do this one thing I'll 'quit" till I can". She lives "fully". And does it as a female. Dating, boyfriend, social, the whole deal. The "one thing" became superfluous to a point. Yes its important. Its ALL important but you can't "not live" in the middle.

Kind of like this long tirade my therapist wanted to go on until we cut him off for talking too much ( :P )- but he was right- when something doesn't work try something else. If no one wants to hire you in the way you've been hired previously try other types of working. (Ironically this is exactly the topic he was talking about). Think out other ways what it is you do can be executed. Find other types of industries that utilize that talent/job. Change the parameters ;)

After all, insanity is still doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

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Guest B.heard

Elizabeth you look great you look like my sisters friend!! and just so you know she is a gg and 45 so your looking great I wish you all the best xx

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Guest Neuro

Transitioning is so much money, and costs in more ways than just money sometimes. (Like spouses, or family). It can be so difficult... I hope that you continue to pull through with it, because you are a beautiful person and so valued at the playground! ;_; You deserve the best happiness!!

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Lizzy,

You know what I have already lost, so no point in listing it all again.

You have to know that this is the true path for you and then whatever the costs you will find a way.

I know of a lady who went from living on the streets to having her surgery performed by Dr. Bowers in the space of 4 years - All things are possible.

You need only to believe!

Love ya,

Sally

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Joanna Phipps

I understand the costs both financially and emotionally of the transition. Stuck between worlds describes me, I want to move ahead but have to take things slower than I would like. I dont have the money for many of the things that other say are necessities but one way or another I will make it.

hugs and sorry to hear about the low points

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Guest Charlene_Leona

The cost issue is the reason I will keep bringing up Disability. Some want to say GID is not a disability but it truly is. It affects your day to day interactions with others, most can't work or find work ie the ability to work and it does cause significantly other health issue's. It truly does meet Social Security guidelines that determine disability. Now I went into the military right out of high school and lasted less that a month and was discharge with a "other physical mental condition/ Personality Disorder. Was getting ready at 24 to start transition and got so ill from the worrying I pushed myself into a major health breakdown. I didn't get my disability for another three years and was told then I was qualified right out of the military. It took me until I was in my 40's to start again. But because I have Medicare my medicine is paid for as is all my doctors, my orchiectomy was paid for and so will my SRS when I get cleared by my heart doctor. I get a monthly disability check so I can pay my bills and keep a roof over my head. I hope this doesn't anger anyone but it has made my life so much easier and my transition less stressful.

Now for the other cost of family, I too have paid those prices and that is rather steep but the only people that truly matter to me anymore are my son and my fiancée Larry. Those two are the most important members of my family and nothing can take them away from me. So what if my mom, sister and aunt and uncles don't approve those people stopped being responsible for me years ago.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Isabella
Transitioning - how much can we afford to pay?

I am coming up on four months on HRT and I am leaving for my first consultation for electrolysis in a few minutes.

I have been in theraphy for over a half year.

I am living full time as a woman at home and as much of a male as I can in public, as I get stared at everywhere now.

I was fired from my job for being transsexual, although they tried to make it look like something else.

I am trying to find work, and this is the 30th day - and no interviews at all - terrible economy - and my savings are getting low.

I have bills for May coming up and no way to pay them all.

I have NO health insurance

I have a wife who tells me now, as soon as I am a 'real' woman (whatever that is - SRS?) she will go.

I told my best friend about my condition and now he avoids me.

I need to tell my 'born again, Christian Wrong' sisters about me - dreading that. My extended family is deceased, There are only my sisters and I living.

I am 61 and it seems unlikely I will reach permission for SRS for another two years! Will I live to see it?

I can't pay for SRS right now anyway - struggling to pay for therapy and electrolysis

BUT

My children support me.

I have 21 resumes out, something might break - I will keep at it until I get a job

My wife is here in the interium

I have a couple of rolls of quarters left - I can always cash them at McD

And I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN now. I just changed my avatar.

I am so happy!

But Gosh Darn it - it is sooooo expensive!

Elizabeth Anne

I am in VERY similar circumstances, but what keeps me from utter self destruction is my relationship with my 21yr old son. Warmest of all wishes, Isabella

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Guest Elizabeth K

WEIRD replying to my own posting - but April 29 to August 14 - about 3 and 1/2 months?

HOW ABOUT AN UPDATE???

Transitioning - how much can we afford to pay?

I am coming up on four months on HRT and I am leaving for my first consultation for electrolysis in a few minutes.

Well - just finished 8 months - EXCELLANT results on HRT - I was able to keep up this part of my transitioning. Electrolysis - whew - went to about 8 sessions - pretty good results - especially on the eyebrows but it got so expensive I had to stop.

I have been in theraphy for over a half year.

Wow - still in theraphy - saved me from killing myself - saved my marriage - I couldn't pay during this period of no employment - so I had to go on credit and owe my therapist a bunch of money - but my therapist WOULD NOT let me stop! Therapy IS worth it! YES

I am living full time as a woman at home and as much of a male as I can in public, as I get stared at everywhere now.

Stares have diminished, people pass over me thinking, "tall woman!" instead of 'funny looking man." - I live full time at home still and I am out in the big city but not in my little community... coming out is SLOW GOING!

I was fired from my job for being transsexual, although they tried to make it look like something else.

Yes - that happened - I never pursued legal action

I am trying to find work, and this is the 30th day - and no interviews at all - terrible economy - and my savings are getting low.

The end? I finally found employment - doing what I have done all my life - I did not have to retrain! The total time out? EXACTLY 100 Days!

I have bills for May coming up and no way to pay them all.

I had to cash in my 401.k - no retirement money now, and I will have to work a while to get it going again.

I have NO health insurance

I still don't as my job assisted health insurance kicks in in three months

I have a wife who tells me now, as soon as I am a 'real' woman (whatever that is - SRS?) she will go.

Best new of all - my wife changed her mind 180 degrees - I have a life partner!

I told my best friend about my condition and now he avoids me.

Never DID hear from him!

I need to tell my 'born again, Christian Wrong' sisters about me - dreading that. My extended family is deceased, There are only my sisters and I living.

They came - they preached - they left thinking I am going to hell, but they love me anyway. They are praying I come to my senses as transsexualism is a "life style choice." I never KNEW THAT - I thought it just HAPPENED! I am praying just as hard they see the error of their ways, and learn to try to otherstand people that don't fit in their tiny definition of how the world should be. Tie game so far.

I am 61 and it seems unlikely I will reach permission for SRS for another two years! Will I live to see it?

Age 62 now - same thing? Will I live to see SRS? My therapist DID SAY she WILL give me my letter, though...

I can't pay for SRS right now anyway - struggling to pay for therapy and electrolysis

Well better situation economically - but I still am not on electrolysis. SRS is a question mark - I suppose I will have to sell one of my first born children into slavery or something?

BUT

My children support me.

But, one husband backed out - he thinks transsexuality is a 'life style choice,' and I gave him my sister's email address - grin. They can compare notes and coordinate their next attack.

I have 21 resumes out, something might break - I will keep at it until I get a job

Got up to 36 and stopped - I had three actual interviews and one did hire me (obviously) - another one of the three actually did an in-house promotion so it was bogus. The last one? I don't think they hired anyone.

My wife is here in the interium

SHE STAYED! We are again best friends and partners!

I have a couple of rolls of quarters left - I can always cash them at McD

McD didn't want then so I looked through them again - finding a rare 1912/1913 overstrike date - only five known in the world! I got 4.5 million at auction and have paid for all my surgeries and live in the Bahamas - I am married to Brad Pitt's better looking older brother... please don't call asking for money!

And I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN now. I just changed my avatar.

I have GREAT difficultly passing 'male' now.

I am so happy!

YES!

But Gosh Darn it - it is sooooo expensive!

Still is kinda expensive moneywise and emotionally - I left out the suicide attempt on Memorial Day, the attempted house forclosure, and the eventual divorce from Brad Pitt's better looking older brother (he left me for a Donna Jean - a little hottie from Ohio!).

Elizabeth Anne

Definately

STILL HERE

Elizabeth Anne

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I have struggled with almost all of the same things except my wife left, I haven't thanked her yet - I will when we get together to sign the final divorce papers, whenever that happens.

I have spent all of my savings and some of some other people's as well and am close to filing bankruptcyto save my house - that really is a good thing.

I am going into a place that I interviewed last week to fill out all of my paperwork and start a part time job to supplement my photography studio which has just started getting a little busier.

My new appointment for hormones is Monday, so things are looking up.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest rachael1

I missed your initial post in May Lizzy and my heart went out to you whilst I reading it, it seemed like everything had gone bad at once.

Suddenly I arrived at your last post and it was like - wow! everything has turned around 180 degress, and it made me feel so happy for you. :D

You must have a fairy god-mother looking after you.

Hugs

Rachael

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Guest _Michael

I can't imagine the amount of strength it took for you to overcome the last few months. You are a survivor my friend, and in the case of the zombie apocalypse I want to be in your camp, fighting it out to the end.

Keep it up, and congratulations! I hope to meet you one day at one of the trans support meetings!

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Yeah, full steam ahead and all that!! When they start loading us into boxcars headed for the gas chamber, I'll have my vial of estrogen and a syringe.

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Guest Joanna Phipps

OK im 51 and still not sure bout SRS, cant afford it right now even if I was eligible.

I have been lucky employment wise and have managed to get this far and still keep my job.

Managed to complete the RLT my therapist and dr decided I had to do, well not just completed it but I think I aced it.

Nothing can save the marriage but we will part as girlfriends, and for a time will share the house.

Im finally on hormones, and although its only been 4 days im feeling pretty good. A bit irritable but that may go with the territory since the body is getting used to a whole new hormone regimine.

If I ever manage to get SRS great if not then so be it I will live as a no-op giggles

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  • 7 months later...
Guest jackgr
The cost issue is the reason I will keep bringing up Disability. Some want to say GID is not a disability but it truly is. It affects your day to day interactions with others, most can't work or find work ie the ability to work and it does cause significantly other health issue's. It truly does meet Social Security guidelines that determine disability. Now I went into the military right out of high school and lasted less that a month and was discharge with a "other physical mental condition/ Personality Disorder. Was getting ready at 24 to start transition and got so ill from the worrying I pushed myself into a major health breakdown. I didn't get my disability for another three years and was told then I was qualified right out of the military. It took me until I was in my 40's to start again. But because I have Medicare my medicine is paid for as is all my doctors, my orchiectomy was paid for and so will my SRS when I get cleared by my heart doctor. I get a monthly disability check so I can pay my bills and keep a roof over my head. I hope this doesn't anger anyone but it has made my life so much easier and my transition less stressful.

Now for the other cost of family, I too have paid those prices and that is rather steep but the only people that truly matter to me anymore are my son and my fiancée Larry. Those two are the most important members of my family and nothing can take them away from me. So what if my mom, sister and aunt and uncles don't approve those people stopped being responsible for me years ago.

Dying to hear the details on this one, as I too am on Medicare through SSD - your SRS will be paid for??? Are you - no disrespect - sure? I have no physical problems yet, but was never going to have the cash for SRS. Could you answer - can you PM? I'm new here and don't know how the site works - with the details of how to apply, or file, or get a diagnosis, or a doctor's letter, or what? THANKS A MILLION - YOU HAVE GIVEN ME HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack

PS You don't mean Medicaid, do you - I'm not eligible.

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Guest swee'pea

Hi Lizzy,

<<hug>>

I know it is kind of an old post , but oh well -_-

I was just thinking that sometimes transition cost way more than money :huh:

For many transition cost them their family and friends :(

Who can put a price on that :unsure:

:wub: vanna

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Guest Charlene_Leona

Dying to hear the details on this one, as I too am on Medicare through SSD - your SRS will be paid for??? Are you - no disrespect - sure? I have no physical problems yet, but was never going to have the cash for SRS. Could you answer - can you PM? I'm new here and don't know how the site works - with the details of how to apply, or file, or get a diagnosis, or a doctor's letter, or what? THANKS A MILLION - YOU HAVE GIVEN ME HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack

PS You don't mean Medicaid, do you - I'm not eligible.

Right now I'm getting ready to go to Michigan to see my Surgeon for my SRS Evaluation on April 12th, after that he will submit the request for prior approval for my surgery, which my doctor's have all stated is a medical necessity for me to stay alive and for continued mental stability. The key to getting Medicare to pay for your SRS is Medical Necessity.

And no I don't mean Medicaid ,in my state of Missouri the explicitly refuse to pay for anything related to having a sex change as they put it.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

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Guest Cayden

I am sorry to hear about this; I know what you mean about the money I can't even start my transition b/c I have no money and it has been impossible to get a job in my city. I also do not have any insurance and have no way of getting any. I hope that your situation has a turn for the better. I am pulling for you.

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Guest angie

I know beau coup transwomen that cannot have SRS

due to financial or health reasons. One twenty years

living preop,another fifteen years as a non op. The one

whom still say's she is a preop is because she is not

giving up hope of it happening yet.But each of these ladies

have a full life,live as women,have fullfilling relationships and

steady employment. Regardless of the cost,both personal and

financial,for many the drive to live life authentically,supercedes

all else. I have asked myself if I could live as a preop for the rest

of my life....Only if I absolutely had to with no other viable choice.

Angelique

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