Lately...

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I told my mom and she said that if I had become sexually involved with Kristen, then I should tell her. I'm like "...why? She's not gonna ask what's in my pants, so I don't have to bring it up."

Kind if like a don't ask/don't tell thing? Sure.

To me, though, I don't see myself as trans. I don't like labeling myself as such. I'm a boy, just biologically different. So, me telling what my genetic make up is on the same level as telling my, say, nationalities. I'm not gonna go up to someone random and say "GUESS WHAT I AM! I'M TURKISH, SWEDISH, NORWEGIAN AND IRISH!" If someone asks, I'll tell them my nationalities. If someone asks, I'll tell what gender I'm wrongly labeled as on my birth certificate.

Seth, I tend to agree with you. I know some people like to ID as "genderqueer". I identify as "genderhostile". My outward gender is the only one that matters. The genetic stuff is no one's business but my own. There are anatomically correct males walking around with two X chromosomes. There's just no reason to disclose until the relationship becomes really serious.

This is a topic that gets debated over and over. I've heard non-trans people say that not disclosing is tantamount to lying. I've heard some trans people say a similar but sanitized version of the same thing. In truth, if you ARE a man, then that's what you are. What does it say to a woman if you disclose early on? What could that possibly accomplish? It's like saying you aren't a "real man". That's not cool. If a genetic male had a birth defect, he would NOT tell every girl he meets in a bar that his junk was atypical. In fact, it's downright impolite to go around describing your genitals to people!

A lot of people don't see that not disclosing that you are trans is no big deal. There's a lot of things people don't routinely disclose that are equally relevant. I guess people should also disclose that they have a family history of cancer, or schizophrenia, or that they get really bad B.O....ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Seth, you are awesome because you call it like it is. Right on, man. Right on!

[Guest leo]

telling people or not will be an on growing debate

"Gosh darned Seth, that's the fastest whackoff ever!" - funny funny stuff, so i take it your quite stealth?

[Guest Cody_T]

I knew DADT would come in handy one day...

I'd go with that one.

To me, though, I don't see myself as trans. I don't like labeling myself as such. I'm a boy, just biologically different. So, me telling what my genetic make up is on the same level as telling my, say, nationalities. I'm not gonna go up to someone random and say "GUESS WHAT I AM! I'M TURKISH, SWEDISH, NORWEGIAN AND IRISH!" If someone asks, I'll tell them my nationalities. If someone asks, I'll tell what gender I'm wrongly labeled as on my birth certificate.

me either. I'll tell whoever I'm going out with when it becomes important (and depending on the circumstances, maybe not even trans... reconstruction maybe? I'm gay so reproduction is no issue) but I don't see why anyone else would need to know. If they ask, I'd say something but otherwise I don't see the point. Medical history is a private thing, and I don't see myself as anything different than a guy so I see no reason to have other people think so.

Seth, I tend to agree with you. I know some people like to ID as "genderqueer". I identify as "genderhostile".

Ooh I like genderhostile. I don't know when I'd use it but it is a cool term.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Ooh I like genderhostile. I don't know when I'd use it but it is a cool term.

Thanks!

I use to describe my gender identity when I am talking to other trans/genderqueer folks. Genderqueer? Nope. I'm a man, and I'm genderhostile. I think that the rigid binary is silly and makes me angry. HOSTILE!!

[xanyx]

I had transgender addressed in my Asian American studies class... I know it's weird.

But yes, the class addressed transphobia: after they covered racism towards Asians, the next topic was transphobia.

This was awesome. I heard a lot of my friends wrote essays or did oral presentations on transgender in their classes,

whenever they could chose a topic. I put it in discussion in my Political science class too.

For me it was actually the opposite situation with girls and guys accepting... Girls seems to be *very* accepting;

I'd say some girls are very happy about my situation; guys, on the other hand--I encounter what I'd call a phobia from them a lot more.

[Guest Evan_J]

I identify as "genderhostile".

ooooo. Duuuude. Niiiice. lol This could be the fastest spreading new term in all of transdom.

And I'm still working out the tell/when/ifs too. I think its what's slowed my roll

In any other lifetime I would have been like "what? you didn't kiss her????" but that question slows a lot of decisions.

You don't want her freaking out afterwards goin "ewwww" and definately don't want her runnin tellin peeps "that girl mislead me, go beat her up, I thought I was kissing a dude" That would kill you emotionally and might put you in physical danger.

[Guest Seth]

Leo, I don't identify with being trans. I indentify as a man, a normal boy...so no, I'm not stealth. I'm living how I should be living.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I think dating people you know to be bi takes some of the stress off. I mean, if you kiss them and disclose later, it isn't like they aren't doing something they've been okay with before. It's straight girls that scare me to death. You can't be too careful down here in the deep south.

[Guest Seth]

Well, with Kirsten, it ain't gonna become anything. She's got a boyfriend, and she told me she don't date younger.

[Guest Evan_J]

Still, you get points for the heat generated lol. You know, at this rate you could become the crown prince of high school "macks".

[Guest Seth]

WOO! I wanna be the guy all the girls (and other guys) wanna get with.

[Guest Evan_J]

If you're bi , that works well. I don't remember your list of "conquests" including fellas though.

[Guest Seth]

Eh, whatever.

I'm romantically, physically and sexually attracted to girls...but I wouldn't mind bangin' a dude or two.

[Sally]

Sounds like no one is safe around you Seth!

It is Spring, isn't it?

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

Eh, whatever.

I'm romantically, physically and sexually attracted to girls...but I wouldn't mind bangin' a dude or two.

spoken like a man at the height of his hormonal years lol (just do it cautiously, diseases and all)

[Guest Seth]

A real man has no problem talking about his sexuality.

[Guest Evan_J]

A real man has no problem talking about his sexuality.

That's my nephew everybody **sticks out chest overly proud.

.....oh, (added in) just don't do it overly descriptively on the board....but you know that

**starts to feel fatherly, goes off looking for his son

[Guest Seth]

I gotchu, Unk. I gotchu.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Leo, I don't identify with being trans. I indentify as a man, a normal boy...so no, I'm not stealth. I'm living how I should be living.

I completely agree!

the term in and of itself i think also tends to confuse people sometimes

[Guest My_Genesis]

spoken like a man at the height of his hormonal years lol (just do it cautiously, diseases and all)

wait so raging hormones = same sex attractions?

hasn't anyone ever seen American Pie 2? Now I'm confused...

and lol@the whackoff comment.

just if it were me i woulda been depressed for the rest of the day wishing it was actually true

weird as that might sound lol.

[Guest Evan_J]

wait so raging hormones = same sex attractions?

hasn't anyone ever seen American Pie 2? Now I'm confused...

and lol@the whackoff comment.

just if it were me i woulda been depressed for the rest of the day wishing it was actually true

weird as that might sound lol.

No MyGen, (and btw, you should be careful, you're due to be adopted as my "other " nephew- the one who needs "special attention" because he has "special needs" lol) the raging hormones = not giving a crap where the sex comes from as long as it comes lol. Its part of that whole "teenage boy" thing.

And American Pie actually is a perfect example of this as I remember since even the pie was eligible

[Guest My_Genesis]

No MyGen, (and btw, you should be careful, you're due to be adopted as my "other " nephew- the one who needs "special attention" because he has "special needs" lol) the raging hormones = not giving a crap where the sex comes from as long as it comes lol. Its part of that whole "teenage boy" thing.

And American Pie actually is a perfect example of this as I remember since even the pie was eligible

yeah but in the second movie there was that scene where they were very...anti-doing gay stuff with each other. lol that's what i was referring to.

[Guest Seth]

Where the 2 girls were telling them to make out with eachother and then the girls would if the guys would?

[Guest My_Genesis]

Where the 2 girls were telling them to make out with eachother and then the girls would if the guys would?

yeah!!

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Ains is right on target (again)!

PLEASE feel like everyone here would LOVE to be an Advocate if it was possible.

I always feel the 'T' in GLBT is ignored.

Lizzy

Lizzy that's because the G&L are 30+ years ahead of us in advocacy and political action. Until we can get our birth defect delisted as a psychiatric condition we run the risk of being marginalized and treated as second or third class citizens in our countries. The APA has the opportunity to do a great deal of good for our community by removing us from the DSM-V however it seems like we are destined to go backwards with this version. My feeling is that we need, as a group, to unite and let the world know how many of us there are and that we are everywhere.

Our issue is our eventual goal of blending as perfectly as possible as our target gender, once that has occurred we tend, in the eyes of society, to disappear. If we walk around holding hands with a partner no one sees anything strange you are just another couple out for a walk. Sites like this could be excellent spring boards for any kind of advocacy and political action since we tend to gather at such places and could start grass roots organizing and try to get something happening by next federal election and maybe get some pressure happening to get things changed in the DSM. One of the great steps that's happened recently is that France has removed Transgender from its version of the DSM.