I am really afraid now! The biggest challenge in front of me - my wife!

[Jennifer75]

It has gone well with my inner journey, I got in contact with a local transgendered mtf, got plenty of help there.

Even my long time friend took the news very well.

Now I’m coming to the most challenging part ever - facing my super conservative wife! 

And conservative isn’t an understatement at all! She is a Christian beliver that believes that living out as homosexuals is sin. 

And when she finds out that her husband is a woman... well. She will be homosexual if she accepts... the irony of it all!

I feel very trapped in a prison right now. Some part of me wants to stay male because of the fear of what’s to come.

But I really know that I am a woman and the whole situation gives me such turmoils...

I cannot stay male. How shall I play this? I really don’t know. I love her, not her beliefs. 

I’m Christian too but believe in freedom for us all whatever gender identity or sexual identity we have.

Please help me out, how shall I play this?

[Jani]

Every relationship is unique so I don't know what to say, except to be honest.  The chips will fall where they will.  

 

Hugs, Jani

[Jennifer75]

7 hours ago, Jani said:

Every relationship is unique so I don't know what to say, except to be honest.  The chips will fall where they will.  

 

Hugs, Jani

Thanks Jani!

It seems though that the risk for divorce is very high in my case if I go through with transitioning.

It is a burden to carry for sure this coming out process. 

I have two choices if I want to go through with it;

1. Straight on approach - take it all at one time...

2. A slow build up towards the coming out. Gradually planting the clues.

 

Hugs 

Anna

[Martyn]

8 hours ago, Anna75 said:

Thanks Jani!

It seems though that the risk for divorce is very high in my case if I go through with transitioning.

It is a burden to carry for sure this coming out process. 

I have two choices if I want to go through with it;

1. Straight on approach - take it all at one time...

2. A slow build up towards the coming out. Gradually planting the clues.

 

Hugs 

Anna

I’ve been adopting Option 2, over last two years, bit by bit, first was extending shaved areas, then full body and lastly full body laser, am on anti-androgen meds and very recently (on the weekend) went clothes shopping with my wife. It’s been a slow sometimes painful process as the last thing I want to do is loose my wife, there’s been many ups n downs, lots of heated debates but so far I seem to have her on my side - yes it’s a big gamble, but as everyone keeps saying ‘we only have one life and there’s no dress rehearsal.

[Kirsten]

Yeah like Jani says honesty is the best bet. I’m sure if you read through this site you’ll find 100 people who’s significant other felt they had been betrayed because of the secret they had kept. It’s scary to tell someone you are afraid to loose. But if you don’t you’ll have a bigger chance of losing them anyways. I’ve lost plenty of relationships because of my secret. Not this one though. Ive never kept any secrets from my wife. And it’s the best thing I could’ve done. 

Good luck with whatever you decide. 

Kirsten 

[Jennifer75]

One big step has been taken regarding telling my wife.

I did a drawing about how I envision myself as a woman.

I just showed my wife the drawing. She asked first who this is. I tried to say that I'd like her to have that hairstyle (the Xena Warrior Princess hairstyle which I like). She then said in a statement; this must be about you how you envision yourself. She doesn't really like it at this point but it is a step forward :)