Doubts

[mochi90]

I'm active on a FtM Discord server, and one of the charters posted they are thinking of detransitioning because they are losing their hair and unhappy with their appearance. One of my worst fears is that I will go on HRT and hate myself more than ever. That is why I've decided to stick with the therapy route rather than changing my insurance plan and jumping into HRT. 

 

Have any of you guys ever had similar doubts or fears? 

[Drea]

From what I've seen you are not alone with your doubts and fears.  How one resolves that is very individual and is as individual as their choice to go ahead or hold off.  On the other hand, one doesn't have to be completely doubt free to start.  Some say they are doubt free but I think anyone really honest may have some lingering question. 

 

I've known a number of folks who have de-transitioned, the most recent being a trans guy who went on T, had top surgery and even a histo, then decided that while he had to do this cause he would have forever wondered, he was happy enough living as a woman.  Since he has moved out of the area I can't say how much he has changed presentation.  And excuse me if I refer to him with male pronouns as that is how I knew him and he wasn't adamant about changing.

 

[Jani]

We all seem to face certain fears in this regard.  I know I did.  Wondering if we are making a good and wise decision is always fraught with questions.  You have to believe in yourself, understanding your current position and whether you are happy.  For example, a week after my surgery I was washing up and thought OMG what did I do!  That thought lasted about 5 seconds.  I knew what I had done, and why.  I was happy.  I am beyond happy now.

 

You need to understand what needs to be done, at a minimum, to be happy?  That's why this process can seem so long and drawn out.    Its important to be comfortable with our choices.   Take your time and think things out fully. Move slowly and you'll be happier with the outcome. 

 

Jani

[mochi90]

It is good to know I am not alone in this. But I have done more research on HRT and have made a decision. I def still want to present as male, so I still think HRT is for me. Still sticking to the slow route with therapy, though. 

 

However, tomorrow I will be making an appointment with PP to get on birth control, which I know my plan covers.