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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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Not the greatest of wakenings but it works. Got some sleep and have me sincere cup of Jo at my side, freshly made by me. Have really vivid dreams, and it makes sleeping mentally exhausting but still need sleep.

Got a new bed frame recently, that's a far better improvement then the old one. Sadly it's very flat for me and I'll either need to get a new mattress, or topper. Would love a new side pillow, but maybe later for 4th July sales, if there are any this year.

I have bad allergies, that require I turn in my sleep and my head remains elevated, so I don't have phlegm build up in my chest. Partner still doesn't understand cleaning is important, and I end up having to make the rounds cleaning all the filters. If the weather is very humid and wet, I end up coughing a storm in the morning. So much phlegm, but have had these problems since I was young, it's just getting worse the older I get, so tired.

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23 hours ago, Susan R said:

Good Morning all. Having a Carmel Pecan cup of Java today. It’s been awhile since I’ve had this flavor. It’s pretty good. It’s an absolutely beautiful day here in the Pacific Northwest. I’m going to spend a day with a old friend of mine in my old stomping grounds on Port Susan here in Snohomish County. It’s a beautiful area. Should be a good time.

 

Susan R?

My coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

I read that as "Camel Pecan"?!?!?!?

TA

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Had a hard night. Little sleep. No pain but I’m a person that tosses and turns all night long and I had to sleep solely on my back with my legs spread open.  So I would start to cramp in my back and felt like restless leg syndrome.  I did not take pain meds at all but by 2am I took some Tylenol PM just to sleep.  
Now coffee is long gone and doing the ice pack thing for a bit.  
It’s difficult to not be packing and organizing with having all this time off.  But lifting is a big no no.  Lol

i hope everyone has a great day!  

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The great Lou Reed. Walk On The Wld side. A great tune for karaoke 

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Glad to hear your doing better with not much pain Shawna! When I had one removed it was painful but they started the incision at my waist and went down.

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First band I was in after I came back to California from Idaho (for god’s sake don’t ask why I went there in the first place) consisted of one very flamboyant gay boy, a gay boy in tota and complete denial, a very straight radio DJ and me knowing I was  trans but too afraid to come out. This was in the Fall of ‘74. The band agreed to play the very first dance at the Gay Student Union’s very first event in the first year  their existence at e local university. I think we played “Walk On The Wild Side”  at least four times that night as well as Bowie’s Rebel, Rebel”. It was fun to camp it up.

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Good morning @ShawnaLeigh! I'm glad you're feeling alright... sans packing. You could always get someone else to do the packing whilst you direct, reclined on your throne like a proper lady. Put on a little upper crust accent... It'll either be a lot of fun or your minion will murder you. ?

 

@Emily michelle... that sounds horrifying. Were they worried about scars or damaging the muscle tissue or something? I mean nature made the things EASY to get at. Why make things harder than they need them to be? That's just... YIKES!

 

Hugs!

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30 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Good morning @ShawnaLeigh! I'm glad you're feeling alright... sans packing. You could always get someone else to do the packing whilst you direct, reclined on your throne like a proper lady. Put on a little upper crust accent... It'll either be a lot of fun or your minion will murder you. ?

 

@Emily michelle... that sounds horrifying. Were they worried about scars or damaging the muscle tissue or something? I mean nature made the things EASY to get at. Why make things harder than they need them to be? That's just... YIKES!

 

Hugs!

It was not much fun I don’t know if it made a difference because cancer was the reason why I had it removed. Ive had 3 different incision from three different surgeries within a few inches of eachother. Needless to say I can tell when the weather is changing haha.

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16 hours ago, Willow said:

A small break through but Rome wasn’t built in a day.

:coffee: This is progress Willow,

Without telling my wife what I'm discussing in Therapy she has been very supportive of my new found emotions and willingness to share with her. I'm letting my mask as "TOUGH GUY" fall away. She had no idea I was bottled up and hiding my fears. Right now she thinks I'm talking about 40+ years in public safety and PTSD. That is part of it, but if I'm going to come clean about one thing, I have to open up the entire package. My Transgender Issues have plagued me longer than my PTSD.

 

>HUGS<

 

Mindy???

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3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Just wanted to say THANK YOU! to everybody who loved on my new profile pic.

Your avatar looks very nice Jackie. Great change up! ?

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2 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

 

Had a hard night. Little sleep. No pain but I’m a person that tosses and turns all night long and I had to sleep solely on my back with my legs spread open.  So I would start to cramp in my back and felt like restless leg syndrome.  I did not take pain meds at all but by 2am I took some Tylenol PM just to sleep.  

 

@ShawnaLeigh This is great news...the hardest part is over. Hoping you have a very quick return to your normal routine.

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A wife of a customer was nice to me,gave me a pair of 4 inch open top heels like new.She knows I am a part time crossdresser and has met Mika before.Hid them in a spot where no one else seen them

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Good morning coffee ??‍♀️

My morning has me scanning through so many different thoughts about coming out to my wife, family, and very select friends. What is my self image? what do people see? I wish people could see and feel my heart's empathy and compassion for them, and not judge me for hiding my true thoughts and expressions as a woman for so many decades. My wife said she had no idea that I wasn't the happy go luck guy I project to be. How does the presumed leader, extrovert, and motivation sharing person tell the small part of my world that I hide every spare moment in life and cry? That they don't really know me, and I the one who was/is to afraid to be me? 

 

Ok... crying... put my hair up in a ponytail through my hatband, and go to work. ??‍♀️

 

#GuyModeSucks

 

Love you all,

 

Mindy?????️‍?????

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Morning everyone! I just found this thread literally as I was making coffee for my wife and I this morning. 
 

Today is going to be a rainy day but I'm

continuing my normal routine of primary caregiver to the kids and working my 8-5 office job from home. My wife is handicapped and has sever fibromyalgia so she’s bedridden fairly often. I’m planning on taking the kids outside In the backyard to play before the rain comes, then indoor play today. 
 

I’m over the moon that I found this place and it’s nice to open up on here. I’m still trying to figure out the real mix of Kathrynn and Matt and letting some mannerism changes slip into my daily life. If they upset the wife I stop them, but I’ve been working on crossing my legs when I sit and the like. 
 

I have a therapy appointment today and can’t wait to tell the therapist about this place. Thank you all and have a good day. 
 

-Katie

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22 hours ago, Erikka said:

I think we played “Walk On The Wild Side”  at least four times that night

I LOVE that song!  ?

 

21 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Without telling my wife what I'm discussing in Therapy she has been very supportive of my new found emotions and willingness to share with her.

That's what I am looking forward to about starting therapy, Mindy.  Thanks for sharing❣️

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32 minutes ago, KathrynnCox said:

I have a therapy appointment today and can’t wait to tell the therapist about this place. Thank you all and have a good day. 

Hope your therapy appointment goes well, Katie!  enjoy your day❣️

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22 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

they started the incision at my waist and went down.

 

Seriously Em? Why on earth did they start so high??

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34 minutes ago, Patti Anne said:

 

Seriously Em? Why on earth did they start so high??

I’d really like to know now I just trusted what the urologist told me. Thinking back I wish I would have asked.

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Good morning everyone 
 

Thank you all for the kind remarks about my progress with my wife.

 

Coffee was good this morning.  I’m wearing a sundress today maybe that will keep the rain away.  
 

Also, doing drywall work in my bathroom.  We have been remodeling it slowly.  But I’m down to drywall and paint.  A single row of tile around the tub and a row as mop board.  That will be last.

 

i am also rewiring the main electric panel for my boat.  The old panel didn’t have enough circuits and was overloaded.  This one has twice as many circuits.  I have some that didn’t work before so I have no idea if they are wires to nowhere or if there are burned out bulbs in lights that don’t work so I’m down to the difficult stuff, tracing wires in walls. I have everything else working so the boat can be used just a bit dark inside at night.

 

Willow

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Good Morning and Happy Friday everyone.

 

Well the last 14 hours have been the pits. Last night just after dinner my son asks if he could talk to me upstairs. So yeah. We go up to the guest room. Then he asks me about why I am wearing a bra. I said because I want to. then he starts on about he and my wife are on the last straw about me and my transgender issue. we go back and forth. then my wife joins us. Then I get double teamed. about my problems, that I had said that if I transitioned my depression would go away. I told I may have said It might help it. They both said that I should get rid of my feminine wardrobe,I flat out said that's not going to happen.

Then my wife starts I should work a type of program like AA (She is 31 yrs sober) Maybe if I take inventory it would help, I should read the big book and work the steps. The she started about my depression. How she doesn't understand what it is. It seems that she is lumping most mental illness together. Then our oldest came up. Today it has been a month since I came out to him and talked to him. She started on how I smashed his dreams. actually memories. about things that he and I did. I reiterated that I will not step foot in his house unless I get a "you are welcome" from both him and his wife. 

I told her that he has hurt me, I was being truthful to him and this is what I get. That I should have told him in person not via Email. I said that it was the only way I could.

That I should have kept it a secret.

 

More later, I don't want mister nosy looking over my shoulder,

 

Hugs

Kymmie

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Oh goddess. @KymmieL, I am so sorry they jumped you like that. It can be hard for cis-people to understand what's going on in our heads but you'd think that they'd at least have the moral fortitude to try.

 

Your wife is, of course, wildly mistaken as to how gender dysphoria works. I think you know that. If you can get her to talk to your therapist (mine is happy to talk to my spouse if I give her a heads up, the reverse is also true) they might have better words to explain it than you do. It's funny. AA is about taking control of your own life back. That's what you're trying to do and she's firmly against it.

 

"Smashed your son's dreams," isn't fair either. You still did those things. You did them as parent and child. The fact that his father was hiding part of her identity (pronouns get weird going pre/post transition, did you ever notice that?) doesn't change that those activities happened or that they were conducted with love. Any filter your son or your wife put on them is their hang-up, not yours. That's the kind of thing you say when you're trying to hurt someone to get them to act the way you want and it's not cool in a marriage partnership. Shame on her.

 

We still love you sweetie. Be strong. There's a lot of good stuff waiting for you on the other side.

 

Hugs!

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@KymmieL, I’m so sorry you have to go through that. My wife is also not accepting so I’m dreading when I come out to her that my therapist has encouraged exploration instead of repression. You are taking control of your life, who you need to be externally to match internally, and I know the pain when the rest of the “team” isn’t on board. You’ve got this hon!

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2 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

I’d really like to know now I just trusted what the urologist told me. Thinking back I wish I would have asked.

It just seems like a lot of unnecessary dissection in an area where you probably don't want any extra dissection. I'm thinking that I'd like to go forward with mine, but I'd have to be well away from my 'hood to do it, for obvious reasons. I'm going to see my gender therapist today, so I'll have to see what his input is.

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Had a phone consult with my endo this morning.

 

He says: the levels we have you on is that of a 20 year old woman, are you happy with that?

Me: Yup!

He: How should we address you then?

Me: By my given name is fine.

He: Not she, her?

Me: Nope!

Him: So for presentation in public?

Me: Androgynous looking male suits me fine!

He: I'm prescribing for a year then, see you next year!

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1 hour ago, Patti Anne said:

It just seems like a lot of unnecessary dissection in an area where you probably don't want any extra dissection. I'm thinking that I'd like to go forward with mine, but I'd have to be well away from my 'hood to do it, for obvious reasons. I'm going to see my gender therapist today, so I'll have to see what his input is.

I definitely understand what you mean I’m hesitant on going to some places because my mom did anathesia for 40 years and it seems every time I go to a doctor they ask if I’m related. At that time I didn’t think much about the way they took my testical out I was just happy to get rid of the cancer. I’ve also had 3 other surgeries in that area so it doesn’t help matters. That sounds like a good question to ask him. I need to talk to my therapist too I haven’t had time to see her. I don’t if it is too soon to have grs because I’m a month on hrt but I just want it gone!

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