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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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2 hours ago, Tori M said:

I have a baby monitor set up with the mic end outside so I can hear any hawks, owls, or uncommon calls while I'm in the house.  I will drop anything to rush outside with bins to find a rarity. 

What a great idea, I'm calling in for one of my grandkids baby monitors.

I've had a remote speaker outside to call in birds for the feeders, but never thought about an outside mic.

 

Happy Birding,

 

Mindy???

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@Charlize, that sounds like a beautiful place to be and I'm happy to hear that you help take care of the birds there!  Cavity nesters really struggle to find homes, especially since there are no old-growth trees/forests or snags left for them.  Also, watch out for nighthawks, whip-or-wills and friends as well as Killdeer.  They nest on the ground in gravelly areas which are becoming more scarce and reducing their populations.  Sad to hear about the flooding of your old place.

 

Happy birding!

Tori

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On 6/3/2020 at 6:51 AM, Mx.Drago said:

Farm Question: What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

 

 

Young Barista's response:  Decaffeinated!

 

My 20 yo daughter (who I recently came out to) would roll her eyes and say "That is such a dad joke!"

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53 minutes ago, Patti Anne said:

Everybody needs a kitty!SylvesterKittyPic.thumb.jpg.41f827404d7fa781030094eac27198a6.jpg

That little fur ball is so cute. Looks rather mischievous too haha

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1 hour ago, Patti Anne said:

Everybody needs a kitty!SylvesterKittyPic.thumb.jpg.41f827404d7fa781030094eac27198a6.jpg

This is my new kitty friend Silvester!

Though not sure if he is this young anymore....  LOL

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Coffee was sad and lonely this morning. Suzie did not react well at my coming out to her as Transgender MtF last night. She blew up left the house with a big door slam. When she got to my daughter's house, she was further frustrated when my daughter kind of sided with me. They went to my son's home, however he was on duty at the fire department. My Suzie and my wife returned to our house with my daughter playing the moderator role. Once I again shared my thoughts and views on our future. I just let Suzie vent. This morning it was the silent treatment, and scowls. Before leaving for the office I asked if I would see her this afternoon? She said who knows.

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Sorry it didn't go well, Mindy,  I know you were excited and hoping for the best but this may take time.

My experience was similar with my wife the first time I came out, and then it repeated itself just recently when I told her I wanted to go to therapy.  Both times it took more than a few days for her to process, and then for the communication and dialogue to open up.
For my wife the best thing I was able to do was just let her work it out on her own for a bit.  After that it was a matter of reassuring her this in no way changes my feelings for her or our relationship (and hopefully will make me a nicer partner to her)

I think you crested the hill on the rollercoaster, and are in for a little bit of a ride.  Happy your daughter seems to be riding along side and hope that will help with your wife.

Deep breaths ... one step at a time ❤️

 

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34 minutes ago, KayC said:

Deep breaths ... one step at a time ❤️

Thank you, and I'm staying on the slow track.

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3 hours ago, Patti Anne said:

"That is such a dad joke!"

My family grew up on Dad Jokes. My father would work for weeks to set you up for a Joke.

 

Mindy?????

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Morning coffee is over.  
 

Mindy, my dad never seemed to take much interest in me. Never did anything with me, just my sister.  My mother convinced him to play golf with me when I was a teen, but he broke out, and was allergic to a chemical they used.  So much for that.  I always tried to earn his attention but never felt I had it.  I would have loved to have a dad joke.

 

Willow

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37 minutes ago, Willow said:

 I would have loved to have a dad joke.

Willow, you're in my heart and always welcome to join in on my Dad Jokes.

 

Hugs

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Mindy, I am so sorry that it went sideways on you. Mine did too. My wife and youngest don't understand. against it. Oh, she will let me transition to become who I need to be but I will not be married anymore.

My middle son and his wife totally accept it. Then there is my oldest. I came out to him Apr 30. I haven't talked to him except for maybe 2 min on Monday when I pocket dialed him. I would put him as not accepting. I know your pain.

 

Kymmie

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29 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

I know your pain.

Thank you KymmieL,

 

Unfortunately our story is a very common one. I'm going to give Suzie her space, to grieve, be mad, vent, talk without shock and anger.

 

Hugs

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Mindy, if you need a shoulder. send me a PM. We can cry together.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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35 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Mindy, if you need a shoulder. send me a PM. We can cry together.

Thank you. ?

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I’m very sorry it went like that mindy. Give her some time hopefully she will come around. If you need to talk we’re here.

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2 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

If you need to talk we’re here

Thank you Emily, she's due home from work anytime now so we'll see how it goes. I'm giving her time and space. 

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Mindy I do hope it works well for you and your wife. Unfortunately my wife is totally unsupportive. 

 

I had a video therapy appointment today. Oh, yes tears where shed by me. She helped me with some problems. Worked on some more. Over all it was good session.

 

Day off so I am doing some work on one of my amps  for the car. while I wait for a call from a person from the UChealth integrated transgender program. that my Endo recommended contact. Being I cannot do regular HRT.

 

Kymmie

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Another day when it is so apparent that I totally ruined my family’s lives. My ex is and has been very ill the last two years with a severe form of ME. Last night my oldest who lives with her tried to explain to her some logistics needed for the running of the house. My ex tried to understand but couldn’t and flipped out and exhausted herself to the point of wanting to commit suicide. Oldest daughter took away her pills. Daughter got to bed way late and now she is barely holding. Youngest daughter (adopted. Birth mother drank copious quantities of alcohol and lots of drugs so daughter has emotional issues) calls this morning wanting to pick up her dog for the day (because of a change of living conditions she can’t have her dog with her and oldest said she would care for youngest’s  dog). In conversation DD3 learns that ex is going to have her care giver do some gardening. DD3 (who has never learned to follow through on any promise) gets upset because she told ex she would do the gardening....that was two months ago. She yells at DD1 that no one ever wants to do anything she wants to do.  Then hangs up mad. SS1 calls me to tell me how crashed her mom is and she doesn’t think that mom is going to pull out of this crash. I call DD3 to let her know today is not a good day to go over to the house. She begins to yell al me. I can’t do her tantrums and hang up otherwise my tendency to self harm kicks in. She calls me back and starts yelling that no one ever considers her feelings. I lose it and scream back how self centered she is and that others have feelings too.  Now DD1 calls me and is in tears because DD3’s dog just peed all over the  bed she just bought for her dog. I try to her how to wash it while I keep getting calls from DD3. Oh, and DD2 won’t talk with me since I came out. 
My head keeps telling me that if I had never decided to transition and had never come out then the family would not be falling apart.

I know it is not true intellectually, but emotionally I am a wreck.

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Seriously sweetie, I read through all of that and I have to reject your premise. None of that is your fault. Had you not come out, you'd still be dealing with that mess... but you'd have another layer of personal misery slathered on top.

 

You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Some people will refuse your help. Some people would rather be miserable. Help who you can. Help the others clean up the pieces if they ask. The rest need to find their own way.

 

Hugs! Family drama is just the worst. 

 

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

 

That is one thing I so need to do. right now I could care less about myself. I know I need to start caring about myself. But I don't.

 

Right now my emotions are so jumbled it is not funny. tried watching TV. nothing I care to watch. I have wanted to watch the movie I recorded, "The secret life of Cheerleaders" I have started 3 times. I got dysphoric and turned it off, again.

 

I don't know what to do. My mind is going warp factor 9.995. I don't even know why I am balling my eyes out.

I think I am going to get the bike at take a ride. maybe that will clear my head

 

TTFN

Kymmie

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My life as Mika better,my new girlfriend being supportive of my crossdressing  part time.We plan on doing some shopping tomorrow,knows a place I would love to shop at.Seen my wardrobe,said I have more shoes than her.Been going great since she met me dressed as Mika on Wendsday night for the first time.Found out her mom wants to meet Mika as well

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    • Ivy
      I don't use it.   One of my daughters gave me a little to experiment with, but I haven't.  My youngest tried to put some on me once, but I din't like it.  The light was pretty bad admittedly. My ex didn't use it, and my daughters didn't use it much either when they were still at home.  (If so it was very subtle) And I don't often notice it on women my age (mid 70's)   I shave every day.  But my beard is not heavy, and essentially grey, so it's not real noticeable unless you get close with good light.  I was starting to look into electrolysis, but the pandemic hit, and I just kinda dropped it.   Sometimes I do wonder about it though.
    • Justine76
      It's something I'm just learning but I find I actually enjoy the 'craft' of it in addition to how it makes me look. Even after a fresh shave, I have a mild 5'clock shadow. For me, the primary use of makeup is to get rid of that. I'll start with the orange concealer over facial hair areas and a bit under my eyes. Liquid foundation over that and light concealer used judiciously over that (still dialing that part in). Then just a tad of powder to bring color back in certain places. There are a number of Youtube tutorials on that layering process.    I'll also pencil in my eyebrows a bit since they're blonde and otherwise not very visible. Sometimes I'll get adventurous and give mascara a try but that's a delicate skill and usually I mess it up. I don't particularly like lipstick, but just ordered a 'lip pencil' to experiment with. Hoping for a more subtle effect. 
    • Vidanjali
    • April Marie
      Sunday is my weekly ablution day - all of the parts that need occasional shaving get their required attention. The weather is rainy and cool today so after the ablutions and shower, I put on blue jeans, a gray t-shirt and a black front-zip hoodie along with gray sneakers.   And, I did put on make-up, not to impress anyone but just to feel as if I'm looking my best....as good as that can be given this woman is now 69 years old. 
    • April Marie
      There are lots of us here willing to offer support, ideas, a shoulder or just a smile. Working with your therapist and finding your true self can be difficult process...but it will also be filled with wonder and joy as you discover that person who's been waiting inside you to be found.   Just know that you are not alone.
    • Mealaini
      Thank you for fixing my country of origin MaryEllen!     :) Mealaini
    • Mealaini
      Thank you KayC!  I am just trying to keep breathing. I don't have a huge amount of time in my life for self exploration.  My job and responsibilities have me second guessing all my inner work.  I do have time off in the summer - coming up soon as I am a teacher.  Only a few workshops.  Looking forward ward to some introspection.     :) Mealaini
    • Betty K
      Yes, essentially. As Julia Serano says, they view trans outcomes as intrinsically worse than cis outcomes. 
    • Jani
      I used to but now its just lip gloss every now and then, in a subdued tone.
    • Ivy
      Yeah, a lot of times I don't really have anything to add to the conversation. There are some threads I seldom post on.
    • Ivy
      I have seen some things about this.  As I remember it was not very trans-friendly. The people doing these things seem to minimize the positive aspects of transition, and maximize the potential problems. Basically, make it as difficult as possible (without outright banning it) to discourage anyone from doing it.
    • Willow
      Good morning    woke up to some light rain this morning.  Maybe I should run out with a giant umbrella to cover the car.   Ha ha ha.     I’ve had really nice cars before but never something like this.     @KymmieL I hope you got to go on your ride. Back when I had my Harley we went out for a ride almost every weekend. We would head either SW down the Shenandoah Valley or Skyline Drive which danced along the tops of the Mountains or we would head west into West Virginia and just travel along until it was time to find our way home.   occasionally I wish I still had a bike but I usually quickly for get that. The only thing I ever wanted as a young person that I never had was a late 50s vette.      
    • April Marie
      I admit to wearing make-up. Actually, I'll admit to enjoying wearing make-up. For me, it's been part of learning about myself as a woman and finding a style and look that reflects my personality.    Sometimes, it will just be a bit of mascara and a touch of lipstick. But, most often I wear foundation with setting powder, gel eyeliner, mascara, a little blush on my cheek line and lipstick. I also use an eyebrow pencil to darken my brows a bit.  Infrequently, I will add some eye shadow.   Most of my make-up is from Mary Kay although my lipsticks or from various manufacturers and eyeliners are mostly Maybelline. My wife purchases most of her make-up from Mary Kay and so we order together from our local representative. Of course, I don't have much brand experience but I'm happy with the Mary Kay products and find myself transitioning almost entirely to their line of make-up.
    • KathyLauren
      I did early on, out of necessity.  Regardless of how close you shave, beard shadow shows through.  I just used a bit of foundation, setting powder and blush.    I didn't use much eye makeup.  I started out with a bit of eye liner, but I thought it gave me a "trying too hard" look.  So I mostly didn't use any.   With covid and masking, I stopped using makeup altogether.  Why bother when no one can see your face and the mask smears the makeup anyway?   When restrictions were lifted, I didn't go back to wearing makeup.  My face feminized quite nicely over the first few years of HRT.  I'll never be pretty, but I look more female than male.  (Or I like to tell myself that anyway.)  With several years of electrolysis, and with what facial hair remains turning white, I don't have much beard shadow, so there is nothing to cover up.
    • Heather Shay
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