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KymmieL

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2 hours ago, Tori M said:

I have a baby monitor set up with the mic end outside so I can hear any hawks, owls, or uncommon calls while I'm in the house.  I will drop anything to rush outside with bins to find a rarity. 

What a great idea, I'm calling in for one of my grandkids baby monitors.

I've had a remote speaker outside to call in birds for the feeders, but never thought about an outside mic.

 

Happy Birding,

 

Mindy???

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@Charlize, that sounds like a beautiful place to be and I'm happy to hear that you help take care of the birds there!  Cavity nesters really struggle to find homes, especially since there are no old-growth trees/forests or snags left for them.  Also, watch out for nighthawks, whip-or-wills and friends as well as Killdeer.  They nest on the ground in gravelly areas which are becoming more scarce and reducing their populations.  Sad to hear about the flooding of your old place.

 

Happy birding!

Tori

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On 6/3/2020 at 6:51 AM, Mx.Drago said:

Farm Question: What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

 

 

Young Barista's response:  Decaffeinated!

 

My 20 yo daughter (who I recently came out to) would roll her eyes and say "That is such a dad joke!"

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53 minutes ago, Patti Anne said:

Everybody needs a kitty!SylvesterKittyPic.thumb.jpg.41f827404d7fa781030094eac27198a6.jpg

That little fur ball is so cute. Looks rather mischievous too haha

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1 hour ago, Patti Anne said:

Everybody needs a kitty!SylvesterKittyPic.thumb.jpg.41f827404d7fa781030094eac27198a6.jpg

This is my new kitty friend Silvester!

Though not sure if he is this young anymore....  LOL

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Coffee was sad and lonely this morning. Suzie did not react well at my coming out to her as Transgender MtF last night. She blew up left the house with a big door slam. When she got to my daughter's house, she was further frustrated when my daughter kind of sided with me. They went to my son's home, however he was on duty at the fire department. My Suzie and my wife returned to our house with my daughter playing the moderator role. Once I again shared my thoughts and views on our future. I just let Suzie vent. This morning it was the silent treatment, and scowls. Before leaving for the office I asked if I would see her this afternoon? She said who knows.

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Sorry it didn't go well, Mindy,  I know you were excited and hoping for the best but this may take time.

My experience was similar with my wife the first time I came out, and then it repeated itself just recently when I told her I wanted to go to therapy.  Both times it took more than a few days for her to process, and then for the communication and dialogue to open up.
For my wife the best thing I was able to do was just let her work it out on her own for a bit.  After that it was a matter of reassuring her this in no way changes my feelings for her or our relationship (and hopefully will make me a nicer partner to her)

I think you crested the hill on the rollercoaster, and are in for a little bit of a ride.  Happy your daughter seems to be riding along side and hope that will help with your wife.

Deep breaths ... one step at a time ❤️

 

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34 minutes ago, KayC said:

Deep breaths ... one step at a time ❤️

Thank you, and I'm staying on the slow track.

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3 hours ago, Patti Anne said:

"That is such a dad joke!"

My family grew up on Dad Jokes. My father would work for weeks to set you up for a Joke.

 

Mindy?????

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Morning coffee is over.  
 

Mindy, my dad never seemed to take much interest in me. Never did anything with me, just my sister.  My mother convinced him to play golf with me when I was a teen, but he broke out, and was allergic to a chemical they used.  So much for that.  I always tried to earn his attention but never felt I had it.  I would have loved to have a dad joke.

 

Willow

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37 minutes ago, Willow said:

 I would have loved to have a dad joke.

Willow, you're in my heart and always welcome to join in on my Dad Jokes.

 

Hugs

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Mindy, I am so sorry that it went sideways on you. Mine did too. My wife and youngest don't understand. against it. Oh, she will let me transition to become who I need to be but I will not be married anymore.

My middle son and his wife totally accept it. Then there is my oldest. I came out to him Apr 30. I haven't talked to him except for maybe 2 min on Monday when I pocket dialed him. I would put him as not accepting. I know your pain.

 

Kymmie

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29 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

I know your pain.

Thank you KymmieL,

 

Unfortunately our story is a very common one. I'm going to give Suzie her space, to grieve, be mad, vent, talk without shock and anger.

 

Hugs

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Mindy, if you need a shoulder. send me a PM. We can cry together.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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35 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Mindy, if you need a shoulder. send me a PM. We can cry together.

Thank you. ?

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I’m very sorry it went like that mindy. Give her some time hopefully she will come around. If you need to talk we’re here.

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2 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

If you need to talk we’re here

Thank you Emily, she's due home from work anytime now so we'll see how it goes. I'm giving her time and space. 

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Mindy I do hope it works well for you and your wife. Unfortunately my wife is totally unsupportive. 

 

I had a video therapy appointment today. Oh, yes tears where shed by me. She helped me with some problems. Worked on some more. Over all it was good session.

 

Day off so I am doing some work on one of my amps  for the car. while I wait for a call from a person from the UChealth integrated transgender program. that my Endo recommended contact. Being I cannot do regular HRT.

 

Kymmie

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Another day when it is so apparent that I totally ruined my family’s lives. My ex is and has been very ill the last two years with a severe form of ME. Last night my oldest who lives with her tried to explain to her some logistics needed for the running of the house. My ex tried to understand but couldn’t and flipped out and exhausted herself to the point of wanting to commit suicide. Oldest daughter took away her pills. Daughter got to bed way late and now she is barely holding. Youngest daughter (adopted. Birth mother drank copious quantities of alcohol and lots of drugs so daughter has emotional issues) calls this morning wanting to pick up her dog for the day (because of a change of living conditions she can’t have her dog with her and oldest said she would care for youngest’s  dog). In conversation DD3 learns that ex is going to have her care giver do some gardening. DD3 (who has never learned to follow through on any promise) gets upset because she told ex she would do the gardening....that was two months ago. She yells at DD1 that no one ever wants to do anything she wants to do.  Then hangs up mad. SS1 calls me to tell me how crashed her mom is and she doesn’t think that mom is going to pull out of this crash. I call DD3 to let her know today is not a good day to go over to the house. She begins to yell al me. I can’t do her tantrums and hang up otherwise my tendency to self harm kicks in. She calls me back and starts yelling that no one ever considers her feelings. I lose it and scream back how self centered she is and that others have feelings too.  Now DD1 calls me and is in tears because DD3’s dog just peed all over the  bed she just bought for her dog. I try to her how to wash it while I keep getting calls from DD3. Oh, and DD2 won’t talk with me since I came out. 
My head keeps telling me that if I had never decided to transition and had never come out then the family would not be falling apart.

I know it is not true intellectually, but emotionally I am a wreck.

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Seriously sweetie, I read through all of that and I have to reject your premise. None of that is your fault. Had you not come out, you'd still be dealing with that mess... but you'd have another layer of personal misery slathered on top.

 

You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Some people will refuse your help. Some people would rather be miserable. Help who you can. Help the others clean up the pieces if they ask. The rest need to find their own way.

 

Hugs! Family drama is just the worst. 

 

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

 

That is one thing I so need to do. right now I could care less about myself. I know I need to start caring about myself. But I don't.

 

Right now my emotions are so jumbled it is not funny. tried watching TV. nothing I care to watch. I have wanted to watch the movie I recorded, "The secret life of Cheerleaders" I have started 3 times. I got dysphoric and turned it off, again.

 

I don't know what to do. My mind is going warp factor 9.995. I don't even know why I am balling my eyes out.

I think I am going to get the bike at take a ride. maybe that will clear my head

 

TTFN

Kymmie

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My life as Mika better,my new girlfriend being supportive of my crossdressing  part time.We plan on doing some shopping tomorrow,knows a place I would love to shop at.Seen my wardrobe,said I have more shoes than her.Been going great since she met me dressed as Mika on Wendsday night for the first time.Found out her mom wants to meet Mika as well

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  • Posts

    • Ladypcnj
      Thanks Sally Stone
    • KymmieL
      Thanks, Mindy. It has been so far. Tomorrow, work some more on the wife's grand monkey. Got the right side of the hood primed, just need to do a little more work on the left then I can prime it. Then a 600grit wet sand.   I promised the wife we would take out the bike this weekend.   Kymmie
    • JessicaMW
      During my last visit with my psychologist (who has agreed to provide required letters of recommendation along with a colleague to provide the second) we discussed the shift towards my wife's acceptance. It was a long discussion but one point I mentioned was how much the two of us sitting down and watching this documentary helped:  The Kings | A transgender love story (2017)
    • Betty K
      Oops, I did not mean to post that comment yet! I was going to also say, having read a mountain of commentary on the Review, I think Julia Serano’s response (linked by Vicky above) is the most accurate and thorough. You can also read a non-paywalled version at Substack: https://juliaserano.substack.com/p/the-cass-review-wpath-files-and-the   To me the three key areas in which the review is deficient are:   1. As has already been said here, its views on social transition;   2. Its attempts to give credence to the “ROGD” theory (without ever actually mentioning ROGD because presumably a canny editor knows that would be too transparently transphobic);   3. To me, most crucially, its claims about trans youth and suicide, which are dealt with summarily in about five pages and do not stand up to any deeper scrutiny.    I will be writing about each of these issues in isolation over the next few weeks and appearing on a radio show and podcast to discuss them late in the month. I will post links to these on TP later if anyone is interested.   All that said, I actually think it’s dangerous for us to respond with outright vitriol and condemnation to the review since, like any effective piece of disinformation, it does actually contain some factually based and even helpful recommendations. The Tavistock Gender Identity Service really was underfunded and understaffed and certain staff were not adequately trained. Trans kids really were funnelled away from mental-health support once they started gender-affirming care too. So yes, more investment in youth psychology services would help, as would a less centralised model of care, more training in treatment of trans kids, and more research.   One last thing for now: beware the claim that Cass ignored 98% of studies. That’s not strictly true. She seems to have taken other studies into account but leaned heavily on the 2% that met her standards. Nor does she ever claim that only randomised controlled trials are good enough evidence to justify the use of blockers for kids; just as with ROGD, she strongly suggests this, but is too canny to say it, because she knows such trials would be impossible. For now, I think the best response to this comes from the Trans Safety Network: “[…] we believe there to be systemic biases in the ways that the review prioritises speculative and hearsay evidence to advance its own recommendations while using highly stringent evidence standards to exclude empirical and observational data on actual patients. “ (https://transsafety.network/posts/tsn-statement-on-cass-final-report/)   To me, the scariest aspect of all this is that, if it follows Cass’s recommendations, the NHS will very likely follow Finland’s recent model of trans care, which seems to amount to a prolonged form of conversion therapy. I can’t find the link right now, which is probably lucky for anyone reading this, but I bawled my guts out reading the testimonies of kids who had been mistreated by that system. Truly horrific. To me, at least from my Australian perspective, the Cass Review is the most frightening development in trans rights in recent years. To me, the safe care of trans kids is THE number one issue in politics atm.   Ruth Pierce has a good summary of responses from trans folk and their allies sk far: https://ruthpearce.net/2024/04/16/whats-wrong-with-the-cass-review-a-round-up-of-commentary-and-evidence/    
    • Sally Stone
      Welcome to the wide, wild world of transgender, M.A.  It can definitively be overwhelming, but everyone here is amazing, so no doubt you'll get bunches of wonderful support. I think you'll be happy you found us.   
    • Sally Stone
      @Ladypcnj  This is so true.  I think all of us here have had a post or two that didn't get a response.  Sometimes, it's as simple as adding to your original to post for a clearer explanation, or re-reading what you wrote originally, and rephrasing it.  But don't despair, we aren't ignoring you.   Hugs,   Sally 
    • Willow
      So, we left for lunch in our Taos, talked and went to the dealer and came home with the Cadillac.  
    • Betty K
      I have just finished reading the Cass Review, all 380-odd pages of it, and am totally open to questions including via DM if anyone wants more information on it
    • Abigail Genevieve
      What season are you?  If you don't know, look around on the internet. Or ask a girl friend..  Maybe someone here is even a color consultant?   And there are guides on figure-flattering clothes for all shapes that you should look into.    Abby
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Just know that your kids will probably turn out OK, in spite of the chaos.  One of my partners was widowed in her very early 30s, left with 3 kids.  They're teens now, and one graduated a year ago and is working, but still living at home.  A few bumps in the road, but the three are turning into responsible young adults.  It is amazing how resilient kids can be.  They should be able to handle your changes as well.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Had my time with my 2 long friends I was in the Army with.We went through the photo books and talked memories.They also found about the guy that bullied and sexually assaulted me.He is in prison,sexually assaulted and raped 2 women off base.Doing a 40 year sentence for this and was dishonorable discharged
    • Cindy Lee
      I've been transitioning now for eight months but have been wearing women's clothing for 2+ years. I am over weight and approaching my 72nd birthday. I have purchase my solid color clothing online and recently graduated to 'V' neck tops. I have been hesitant to get anything more girly due to family issues, though with my hair style I am able to totally pass when dressed in a skirt and blouse.   About two  months ago I finally went and got my nails done (which I truly which I had done long ago) though not red nor pink (again family issues). To date I don't think I am having problems with being trans unlike others seem to have. The biggest problem I am having is with my clothing. Any suggestions my girl friends might have would be greatly appreciated.   Cindy
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Umm.... if a post is ignored, live with it?   My stuff gets ignored sometimes, and its OK.  My life is different, and may seem kind of wacky to others.  Some folks just can't relate, or if I'm needing advice they just don't have it.  Diversity is like that sometimes.  If your post gets missed, don't take it personally.  Also, stuff that is new on weekends seems to get ignored more, since most folks are busy with family or other stuff during that time.  Overall, I think people here are pretty helpful. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I'd really love a professional stove.  There's actually one I want at Lowes, but its like $6k.  I've got plenty of money, the issue is that I'm not the queen (king?) of my den.  Or even of the kitchen.  My partner (husband's wife #1) owns that territory, and she's very attached to what she's got.  One of our stoves has 6 burners and a large oven, the other has 4 burners and a regular household sized oven.  And of course, there's always the wood-burning equipment.    Today was interesting.  We had the first campaign fundraiser for our sheriff and my sister.  My sister is running to be constable of our township.  Pretty sure she'll win, as her opponent is an old dude who is mostly running on "Don't elect a woman for a man's job"    What's weird is our sheriff is running as a Democrat, but he's conservative.  And his Republican opponent sounds like a leftist.  Welcome to Upside-down-ville   And of course all the kids got the chance to sit in a sheriff's car, and play with the lights.   We had a barbecue lunch and a dessert auction.  I baked three apple pies for it, and I was shocked that they sold for $20 each, since my cooking isn't that great.  My partner made her famous "Chocotorta."  It's like a chocolate layer cake with cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk, and it tastes amazing.  Usually we have it for Christmas and other really special occasions.  Two guys got into a bid war, and it sold for $175!!!    Yep, this is politics in the South.  Barbecue, pies, and police cars.  A great way to spend a Saturday
    • Davie
      Yes. That report is part of a conspiracy to torture and murder trans people. It is a lie. It is evil.
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