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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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I used to golf in the low 4 letter words... :)

 

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7 hours ago, AmberM said:

However, it is different for those people we are closer to. It is going to take time for your wife to meet you where you are at. You've had a lifetime of dealing with dysphoria, which gives you a motivator to change. For your wife, it impacts her life more so than the barista, so she needs time to grieve the loss of the person who she knew and come to meet the new person that has replaced them.

Thanks for these words, @AmberM. Like @Jamie68, I'm going through a rough patch with my partner. I came out to her 9 days ago and it's like I dropped the H-bomb on us. I'm having a hard time and that makes me forget how new and aboslutely shocking this is to her.

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Hi everyone 

 

Sit down and buckle up, this could get interesting.

 

I had my quarterly endocrinologist appointment this morning.  Now even though my records at MUSC (Medical University of South Carolina) said preferred name, Willow.  That was as far as they went.  Well, he offered to change my records.  They now have legal name/health insurance.  Then It has a whole different section, which he changed name Willow, transgender mtf, sex female.  Ok that was the first surprise.  Next, he says are you still ok with not getting any gender related surgeries?  Well, I am not someone who feels I must have a vagina to be complete so I told him that was still true.  Then he says, would you consider an orchidectomy?  Well, yes that I would consider.  Well, I’m going to send a referral to a new doctor in our urology department.  He is working with some other of my transgender patients.  Then he asks if I’m still seeing my ENT yes and a speech therapist because of my voice issues.  Well, we have a speech therapist that works with my transgender patients.  Here’s her name, why don’t you ask to switch and let her work on both.  Well, you’ll guess this one, that’s the same therapist I’m already seeing.  
 

medical name and sex changed, referral for a surgery and speech therapy. All unexpected.

 

Now, my wife is looking for a hat.  I got one yesterday at a beach store but they didn’t have any she liked.  We had to meet with the salesman for our new home to make some changes to the flooring.  We did that next.  Then I took her to a Ron Jon’s Surf Shop to look for a hat.  While looking I pointed out a few there was a visor I pointed out.  I told her if she didn’t want it I’d take it. She got two hats, including the visor,  we can share.  Lunch, she asks me about the surgery and we talked about it.  I didn’t get any push back.  Just open and honest!

 

after lunch we went shopping I got some panties a casual dress, blouse and some shorts.  She got some shorts and a blouse and T.  The dress and blouse I chose have been declared as shareable.  She likes them too and the fit both of us.

 

what a day!

 

hugs

 

Willow

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Speaking of the best friends of wives, my wife's bestie will sometimes bring me a beer or something if she comes over for wine time here. She's kept on doing it even though Mrs outed me to her pretty quickly in the process. So thought it was a good sign when I came home from my 2 weeks away seeing to Mom's passing and the aftermath there was some new beer in the fridge. I'm told the bestie brought it for me. "Super Mom" was the name.  So I do love that she seems to be treating me the same as she always has, waiting for Mrs to follow her cue. 

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@Linda Marie I see your point about not bothering with name change and all.  If you can be happy that is all that matters.   So your granddaughter knows and she loves you just the same.  Lovely.  

 

@Willow Sounds like a very productive appointment!   And a little shopping never hurts!!!

 

@RhondaS thats so nice of your wife's friend.  We should all have friends like this.  

 

Jani

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I have the best electrologist. Today was my third session and second one accompanied by Panda my giant schnauzer. She really wanted to meet her and insisted I bring her. I brought her a gift, a couple of rocks I painted. One with panda drinking from her water bowl and the other had an anatomically correct colored diagram of an anagen hair follicle with a picture of a cat sitting on a roof under a willow tree on the back which I labeled “Catagen”. She loved it. Then for the next 45 minutes she told amusing stories of her childhood to distract me as I flinched in pain as she stabbed my face and ripped out the poor little hairs! I got caught in this incredible riptide not knowing if I should laugh or cry when she told a story about a dog and an uncle who told her she didn’t know siccem. I could  see the punchline coming and I totally lost it when she got to it. I told her to tell me a sad story to settle me down but that had the exact opposite effect. We called it good after 45 minutes. Oh my goodness what an experience. Not sure if I’m looking forward to the next session or not. I may have to suck on a lemon before I get there.

 

I’m reminded of the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall…” maybe with slightly different wording.

 

“99 anagen hairs on the face, 99 anagen hairs. Pluck one out, give a shout. 98 anagen hairs on the face!”

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Mom and I having a talk Monday night,she said I filled that little hole in my life 5 years ago finally.I said it was true realizing I had an inner woman in me that wanted out liking to wear women's clothing.Glad she is supportive and loves me for who I am.

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6 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

 

 

“99 anagen hairs on the face, 99 anagen hairs. Pluck one out, give a shout. 98 anagen hairs on the face!”

Well thanks for putting that in my head all day.....lol. 

Anything you can do to pass the time during session is good.  We listened to books on tape, podcast etc some days, others we just jabber away.  Mine owns a full spa and also just does electrolysis as an independent biz because she loves doing the work. We talk business frequently, or travel stories since we're both travel geeks.  It feels like I've been doing it forever but I went back over my receipts and have only done 58 hours :(

This is one thing that will test anyone's patience

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20 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

My wife would probably divorce me if I talked to her friend about me or her. I hope it doesn't backfire on you.

I hope not either. I was told if I ever needed someone to talk to, to call her friend. But we'll see. Just because I was told it was OK to call her doesn't mean it is. What's the worse that can happen? I  am so over hiding in the shadows, not having a life to make other people happy.

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3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

It feels like I've been doing it forever but I went back over my receipts and have only done 58 hours :(

This is one thing that will test anyone's patience

She’s working on the black hairs first. I didn’t even know I had any of those. I thought my beard was Snow White! How many hairs are there exactly in a typical beard? Anyone know?

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Way way way too many. I'm sure it varies greatly based on genetics.

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@AgnesBardsieI wish it was only 99 anagen hairs! I don't know how many hairs are typically on our faces. I'm not much ahead of you. I've had 7.5 hours of electrocution so far.

 

@Linda MarieCongrats for your granddaughter.

 

@WillowSounds like you have a good endocrinologist.

 

@Elizabeth StarI told my wife's best friend and she has been great with it. Hopefully it helps with your wife.

 

@kimberlykWelcome to the forum!

 

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4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I hope not either. I was told if I ever needed someone to talk to, to call her friend. But we'll see. Just because I was told it was OK to call her doesn't mean it is. What's the worse that can happen? I  am so over hiding in the shadows, not having a life to make other people happy.

I love this saying. It is SO me now days. I wish my wife could live this.

Dr Seuss.jpg

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3 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

She’s working on the black hairs first. I didn’t even know I had any of those. I thought my beard was Snow White! How many hairs are there exactly in a typical beard? Anyone know?

15K-40K depending on genetics and how far down the neck you go. My beard basically grows all the way to the bottom of my neck in the middle like a "V"   She started with my "red" hairs first and 99% of the facial red hairs are gone leaving only my white ones, but I was about 60% grey/white.  Based on that, I probably have another 75-80 hours to finish my face down to the jaw line. Then another 100 hours on my neck. In my youth, I looked like a viking/lumberjack beard. It went all the way up to just under my eyes.  I would love to do my chest too because between my breasts it's almost beard like quality. Within a day or two after shaving it feels like sandpaper beard stubble.  I'm gonna start crying just thinking about how long this is going to take.  I'm so thankful I just pay a co-pay for it since Kaiser is covering it.  

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Good Morning everybody.

 

@Elizabeth Star That is fair not wanting to hide in the shadows anymore. I am kind of reaching that same point, just luckily I have been given the green light to do just that. I still hope no ill comes from it, and quite the opposite actually.

 

It's been a slow week so far. I am glad that yesterday I got my DR's letter for Social Security Gender Marker and while I am at it I think I am going to apply for a passport (I know it is the gold standard on IDs). I am still waiting on my name change court order to come in via mail though. Since it was done over the phone they have to mail it they said. I might call them if I don't get it by tomorrow to see if it has been sent out yet.

 

I hope everyone has a great rest of your day.

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2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I'm so thankful I just pay a co-pay for it since Kaiser is covering it.  

I am switching to Kaiser starting July 1.  This is what it looked like a year ago!

73A54C37-D22C-4E1E-A816-679619DC6BFF.jpeg

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1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

I am switching to Kaiser starting July 1.  This is what it looked like a year ago!

73A54C37-D22C-4E1E-A816-679619DC6BFF.jpeg

Yup, you are going to be at this for a while too. lol. While your beard is long, you can actually see thin patches so you may not have as many hair follicles per sq inch as you would think.  And it looks clearer up high on your cheeks so maybe won't take quite as long (we can hope right?). As long as the Kaiser plan is either self paid or through an employer it will probably cover electro. If it's part of a government or subsidized plan it probably won't cover it.  

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Electrolysis, I used to call it pow ouch. Removing the dark hairs first is called blending. I went for 2 years every other week for 90 minute sessions at $75 a session. $3,600 in all and only 1/3rd of the way when I quit. Then the Lasor treatments.

I still need more work done but what the hay, I'm old and lazy now.

I can go 8 hours without any growth showing after a shave, so I'm content with that.

 

I'm now just concentrating on growing my head hair back after I shaved it.

It is coming back nicely and now I can style it again.

Plucking my brows was a nightmare after I let them grow back out but they are now sculped again to what I like.

Full surgery was always my dream, but that came to pass and I learned to not let it torment me.

LM♥️

 

  

Today70B.jpg

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I'm so glad the coffee's always on here! I guess it's always morning somewhere in the world.

 

My first trip out dressed as Delcina in the daylight this morning; I'm still giddy. Just a trip to the post office in a town of 600 to mail a card & make a call. A nice lady from the city clerk's office held the door for me, smiled & said, "Good Morning." In the sweetest voice I could I replied, "Thank you, good morning!" scooted through the door & didn't look back when I saw her turn for a second look. She may have something to talk about until lunch, maybe the end of the day, or maybe she was just admiring the beautiful transgender woman she just held the door for. Thankfully neither of us required CPR as a result of the encounter. ?

 

It's been a week of positive movement for me on my journey. I can tie my hair in a ponytail, my first session with my gender therapist is this Friday & I survived a trip to the PO. I'm so grateful for this place I can come & be accepted as me. Thank you for letting me share!

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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1 hour ago, Delcina B said:

I'm so glad the coffee's always on here! I guess it's always morning somewhere in the world.

 

My first trip out dressed as Delcina in the daylight this morning; I'm still giddy. Just a trip to the post office in a town of 600 to mail a card & make a call. A nice lady from the city clerk's office held the door for me, smiled & said, "Good Morning." In the sweetest voice I could I replied, "Thank you, good morning!" scooted through the door & didn't look back when I saw her turn for a second look. She may have something to talk about until lunch, maybe the end of the day, or maybe she was just admiring the beautiful transgender woman she just held the door for. Thankfully neither of us required CPR as a result of the encounter. ?

 

It's been a week of positive movement for me on my journey. I can tie my hair in a ponytail, my first session with my gender therapist is this Friday & I survived a trip to the PO. I'm so grateful for this place I can come & be accepted as me. Thank you for letting me share!

 

Hugs!

Delcina

We come from all walks of life. We started out the same as you are doing now. I am glad you are here with us.

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This one is for Willow. Imagine a game of checkers. Black vrs. Red. Both at battle with each other.

This is on a board game until....now T blockers and E treatments are at battle in your body. There is a battle inside

your body now. Orchidectomy is the best solution to ease that battle. I have studied this and talked to doctors about it also.

Hope this tid bit helps.

LM♥️

 

Today70C.jpg

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That was a nice bluesy ditty @Linda Marie!  Your nails look good.  I know what you mean about playing with painted nails. 

 

Congratulations on your first daylight venture @Delcina B.  Have fun but be careful.  

 

Jani

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