Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Elizabeth Star]

 

First off, Congratulations Amber!! so awesome.

I think I really need to look into finding a new therapist. I had expressed to him that I had an incident where I had, for a brief moment, forgotten I had boy parts and was quite depressed when I was suddenly snapped back to reality and that I recognize that the person I see in the mirror is not the same as who other people see. Because of this he's leaning toward a body dysmorphia diagnosis and due to the depression I was feeling I should consider getting outpatient help. I know myself, I know what I need to do to get through a rough spot but I don't want to box my feelings up ever again. Between my wife's crappy attitude (and health issues), the guy who's been outing me to customers at work, no social life, working all the time (job and home) and GCS being lost over the horizon. Of course I'm depressed.

But perhaps not all is lost. I've learned a great deal about myself and have found a strength I never thought I could have, been on HRT for a year and a half and my name and gender marker will be changed by the end of next week. Maybe he's trying to steer me down a path, maybe I've just outgrown him. Regardless things need to change.

 

 

[Linda Marie]

Not much going on at my house. Daughter is coming for the night, her and wife are going to their concealed carry permit class in the morning. I put together a care bag for them. Safety glasses, ear plugs, snacks and drinks. Oh and pens for the written test before they a cleared for the shooting range. The smell of gun powder seems to run in the family.

 

 

 

[Bri2020]

14 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 

But perhaps not all is lost. I've learned a great deal about myself and have found a strength I never thought I could have, been on HRT for a year and a half and my name and gender marker will be changed by the end of next week. Maybe he's trying to steer me down a path, maybe I've just outgrown him. Regardless things need to change.

 

 

You've made so much progress. I know it's hard to see in yourself sometimes but truly, you've travelled a long way in 18 months.  Therapist/Psychiatrists like to label things.  Don't fear the labels.  With transgender diagnoses there isn't really a one size fits all label, just like there's so much variability in how we identify.   Honestly, as far the the seeking help for depression: if you took transitioning off the table and were left with all the other challenges you face in your life with work and relationships, struggling with depression or seeking help with dealing with that would be totally expected. Add the trans issues and of course it would be there.  It never hurts to seek out help with mental struggles.  A lot of our challenges we like to just say "oh- as soon as I can fully transition (or however far you want to go) I will be all better". But in reality, we still have emotional baggage and life struggles like anyone else and getting help with those is always a good idea.  Good luck with finding a therapist that helps you the best.  And congrats on the name/gender marker changes!

 

[Bri2020]

Woo Hoo! Today is my first real Pride Event.  Our community is having their live, in person event today and my biz is a sponsor so I will have a tent there.  I'm very excited to break my Pride cherry.  I'm a little bummed about my clothing choices though. One of my staff went and had a friend make up some t-shirts with pride symbolism and our business name for us.  It was such a nice gesture and she has been so supportive of my transition I feel like I have to wear it but I really want to wear a bright fun summer dress! lol

 I'm going to wear the tshirt for setting everything up but may "spill coffee on it" and have to do a wardrobe change at some point

 

[Linda Marie]

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Woo Hoo! Today is my first real Pride Event.  Our community is having their live, in person event today and my biz is a sponsor so I will have a tent there.  I'm very excited to break my Pride cherry.  I'm a little bummed about my clothing choices though. One of my staff went and had a friend make up some t-shirts with pride symbolism and our business name for us.  It was such a nice gesture and she has been so supportive of my transition I feel like I have to wear it but I really want to wear a bright fun summer dress! lol

 I'm going to wear the tshirt for setting everything up but may "spill coffee on it" and have to do a wardrobe change at some point

 

So happy for you. 

[Heather Shay]

@Bri2020 go get them girl.

[KymmieL]

I love being able to carry concealed without a permit. I usually have one in my purse. A girl can't be to careful now days.

But it is only in Wyoming.  Once I  get off my dead arse. And get my permit, so I can carry in other states.  I am exempt from having to take the classes, with my military service.

Having that arming and use of force briefing weekly for years. It kinda sticks with you.

 

Bored at work.  What to be out enjoying the nice weather.  

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie 

[Ivy]

NC is an open carry state, but you need a permit to carry concealed legally.

I was at the trade lot a couple years ago and there was a guy with two 45's in holsters.  I'm like why?

[Maddee]

Bad aim.

 

I would likely have to empty two 45s to hit anything not right next to me.

 

 

[Linda Marie]

So what happened?  Distraction. I lost focus, I failed to stay focused, I let someone distract me.

That someone is still apologizing but it is not their fault, this mishap is one me.

  

[Bri2020]

Pride was amazing.  I was so inspired and hopeful because of all the kids who came out just being themselves.  They were unashamed and living large!  We are a super liberal area so I know this isn't the case everywhere but it shows how much progress has been made.

It was nice for me too because honestly, I have lived a life of repression and denial before admitting what I was and had some transphobia and would avoid anything "gay or trans" related.  Like anything, interacting with people whom you haven't associated with before knocks down barriers and makes you so much more comfortable.  I ran into an old client of our clinic who turns out is trans- she came up to me and was so happy for me coming out because it also meant she felt safe coming into our clinic without having to hide who she was.  It was so affirming. (I may have cried a little)

One of my goals is to just be really visible and "normal" so that others can see me and realize that transpeople are nothing to fear as well as hopefully inspire other transpeople they can be themselves fully. When I see people like our client thank me for providing them a safe place it helps me keep going even on those bad days when I feel a little angry or sad at some of the reactions we get.

 

[Jackie C.]

That sounds amazing @Bri2020! I'm glad you were able to have the experience!

 

I was hoping for something near me but we're apparently not that open yet. The 8p to 2a party (on a Sunday no less) isn't really my jam. Ah well. Maybe next year.

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

Good morning everyone 

 

yesterday I was rather depressed.  I got the buyers inspection report and repair requests.  It ended up being more than I expected.  By the end of the day, the two realtors had worked it out.
 

 When I got home, there was a Father’s Day present for me in our mailbox.  My daughter bought me a nice beach hat.  Complete with a blow away preventer.

 

Funny how States treat handguns so differently.  Like NC, SC never allows open carry.  But concealed carry with a permit is fine.  VA open carry is allowed without a permit but not concealed carry and even though VA has a universal carry permit, reciprocity with other states is tricky.

 

ive been considering getting a handgun and concealed carry permit mostly for on my boat.  But I my wife is against it.  There was a time when I was so depressed, she asked our son to hide my long guns.  While I’ll admit that there were times t felt everyone would be better off if I died, I’ve NEVER considered suicide. 
 

@Maddee so you don’t think you could ever hit anything.  Here’s the thing, you never know until you try shooting.  But even then hitting a piece of paper is very different from aiming at another human being, or an animal.  I’m pretty good with paper.  Center mass better be prepared to be shot to bits, long gun or hand gun.  But shooting at something alive?  Nope can’t do it.  Now if my life or my family depended on it I know I would miss the first shot maybe two but after that, you better look out the 3rd won’t miss.  Just have to calm myself first.

 

@KymmieL, I too have considered the personal safety aspect of being a female in a world that is dangerous for us.  But honestly concealed in a purse or other places?  How do you get too it fast enough?  I do realize you’ve had Air Force training that far exceeds mine.  Mine consisted of here is a m16.  Here is how you break it down, clear a jam and fire it.  Got it?  Now let’s go to the range.  My Camp Perry days taught me more than that.  For those that don’t know Camp Perry is a National Guard Camp in Ohio.  It is the home of the National Shooting Matches every year as well as the Junior Tyro Shooting School.  Anyway, I had to qualify twice, once during basic training and once before I went to Southeast Asia during the Vietnam conflict.  I’ve never touched an M16 since that second qualification.  Our CO thought we’d be more apt to hurt our selves than defend anything.

 

Willow

[Willow]

Speaking of Pride, sorry, I did not attend any events.  Myrtle Beach, North Charleston and Wilmington are the only places that goes on around here.  Of those the only one truly safe is Wilmington.  Too much crime in areas of Myrtle beach.  Charleston and North Charleston you had better know where you are safe and where to stay away from.  Wilmington has supporting areas and safe areas. But like any city it has places to stay away from, just fewer.

[Ivy]

I have been in Wilmington.  I have a daughter there.  But it was mostly pre-transition.  We used to stay on Topsail for a few days in the summer too.   Haven't made it the last couple of years though.

I have heard it can be a bit more open than other places.

[Jamie68]

My daughter was concerned about saying " Happy Fathers day " to me. 

She surprised me with " Happy Parents day " this morning. I love it. 

Have a great day everyone.

[Bri2020]

Same, after my second back surgery I couldn't lift my Suzuki Volusia 750 anymore (and it just hurt too much to ride). Truly miss it.  I've been making due with open air cars since then

 

[Bri2020]

3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Same, after my second back surgery I couldn't lift my Suzuki Volusia 750 anymore (and it just hurt too much to ride). Truly miss it.  I've been making due with open air cars since then

 

Sorry for the non reference here: I thought I was posting this in a different thread. haha  more coffee please!

 

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

My daughter was concerned about saying " Happy Fathers day " to me. 

Some of mine have asked about this in the past.  I just said "I am still your father".   Sometimes they call me dad, sometimes Jandi.  I guess I am both.

[Willow]

Good Monday morning 

 

Well the canine alarm went off early again.  I’ve really got to figure out how to change the time on that alarm.  it’s now snoozing.

 

Everything looks lush and green this morning after our visit from Claudette last night.  We were in the rain zone but south of the center.  I’ll pray for the Alabamans that were killed today.

 

@Bri2020 I know what you mean, I had a Harley Ultra Classic but after having surgery on both shoulders I had to sell it.

more of the same today packing and moving to our storage unit.  
 

I’m not sure if said anything last week, turns out my speech therapist for my larynx also works with Transgenders wanting to feminize their voice.  We started working on that along with the other exercises.  Turns out there was very little additional training involved.

 

it does require a straw and a glass of water and the ability to hum scales.  So I’m getting vocal feminization without really asking.  Two for deal.  
 

Enjoy your coffee today.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

 

[Willow]

Forgot something I caught just a small bit of a MasterCard ad, seems they are offering to issue a card with your chosen name on it or something like that.  Does anyone else know anything about that?  
 

 

[KymmieL]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

Forgot something I caught just a small bit of a MasterCard ad, seems they are offering to issue a card with your chosen name on it or something like that.  Does anyone else know anything about that?  
 

 

Interesting, I have thought about just getting an additional card with Kymbrill L on it.

 

Leaving shortly to get my second Covid shot, then down for a bone density scan. Then to Ulta beauty for some shopping. May also hit bath and Body works and have a visit with Vicky. Never shopped with her, LOL.

Plan on possibly wearing a dress & some 2" heels. Not sure since I will be leaving before my youngest leaves for work.

 

Kymmie

[Heather Shay]

@KymmieL hope all goes well.

[Willow]

Going shopping on my own today.  Tank top and shorts.  Since the VA is right there I may take my DD219 and see what I can accomplish.  Who knows.  I was told once I wouldn’t get anything because I wasn’t in combat and or didn’t have a service related disability.  Then I tried again online and got a reply of they had no record of my service.  Funny, I got a va mortgage once, they must have known me then.

 

Willow

[Delcina B]

It's was a week of movement on the transition journey for me. It seems like someone snuck a pacemaker in me & would crank it up a few hundred BPM, a few days my heart was going Boom, Boom, Boom! Thanks to @VickySGV's 4/6 breathing & @Charlize Serenity prayer my Creator would bring it back down to a bearable rate. Met with my GT for the first time, a wonderful woman with a lot of experience working with transgender people, attended the local transgender support group in Pensacola, a wide array of beautiful people & many with supporting family members. These and a trip to the post office have brought Delcina out in the sunlight & she's beginning to enjoy it, once my heart slows down & stops getting tangled up in my bra. ?

 

@Willow Good luck on the trip to the VA, the military & government as a whole generate so much paperwork it seems an impossibility they can keep track of it all. I remember when computers & intra/internet first became common & how much paper they would save. Maybe not! I think it at least doubled. 

 

Hugs!

Delcina