Good morning All. Coffees on.

[MirandaB]

Married 20 years ago today...as Mrs would say, 19 happy years! ?

 

(egg cracked right around this date last year, I held out on telling her as long as I could to get past this date cause it was hard to hide my struggles without explaining them, made it to the 7th maybe)

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, RhondaS said:

Married 20 years ago today...as Mrs would say, 19 happy years! ?

19 out of 20 isn't bad. I've been married for 50 years. I don't even come close to that percentage. Congrats.

[Bri2020]

Well, 1 year ago today, having the weekend to myself and realizing that I was probably trans I gave in and spent the day shopping and then dressing in women's clothes and came to the conclusion that I couldn't deny that living that day, presenting to myself at least, was natural, right and scary as hell.  The next few days I tried to reverse course mentally and find other explanations other than being trans and realized I could no longer deny and repress it.  My wife returned home on the 6th and knew something had changed.  I spent the next few weeks struggling with the decision to come out and it showed. On july 20th I did though and the rest is history.

In retrospect, I believe it was the best year of my life even though I'm now dealing with the negative fall out of the decision for the first time.  

Year 2 will be very dramatic too as I embark on my surgical transition. I am hoping I can find the joy and euphoria of year 1 again but I know that living true and authentic is far better than any other alternative.

So today is Independence Day for me on 2 levels. A national holiday and Independence from living in the wrong body my whole life.  Bring on the fireworks!

[Stefi]

Getting ready for 4th of July party. 1st event since coming out. Some siblings and nieces and nephews will be attending, at my sisters house. My wife will not be here as she is not ready to see me as a woman. I will be waring a pretty multicolor dress( I could not find a "4th of July" dress)with dark pink finger and toe polish and black sandals. I am in the prosses of growing my hair out, so my sister will do what she can with it. I am quite excited as my family has shown great support.

[Beatriz]

4 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I know that living true and authentic is far better than any other alternative.

 

Such true words, @Bri2020

 

Happy 4th of July everyone!

[Aggie1]

5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Well, 1 year ago today, having the weekend to myself and realizing that I was probably trans I gave in and spent the day shopping and then dressing in women's clothes and came to the conclusion that I couldn't deny that living that day, presenting to myself at least, was natural, right and scary as hell.  The next few days I tried to reverse course mentally and find other explanations other than being trans and realized I could no longer deny and repress it.  My wife returned home on the 6th and knew something had changed.  I spent the next few weeks struggling with the decision to come out and it showed. On july 20th I did though and the rest is history.

In retrospect, I believe it was the best year of my life even though I'm now dealing with the negative fall out of the decision for the first time.  

Year 2 will be very dramatic too as I embark on my surgical transition. I am hoping I can find the joy and euphoria of year 1 again but I know that living true and authentic is far better than any other alternative.

So today is Independence Day for me on 2 levels. A national holiday and Independence from living in the wrong body my whole life.  Bring on the fireworks!

Feels great doesn’t it!? I can really relate to that sentiment.
 

It’s been six months for me. Slowly revealing myself more and more. I posted the first picture of myself on Facebook this week and got the raised eyebrows I was anticipating from those who have been following me from afar! Including college roommates.
 

I attended a volkswalking convention in Madison Wisconsin with my sister who lives on the other coast, and one of my daughters. I haven’t seen my sister in two years and she really struggled to come to grips with my new identity. She’s the head deacon in a conservative baptist church and has some pretty strong opinions. She asked lots of pointed questions, but in a nice way. 

 

She got a chance to hear my side.
Not all boys are all boy.

“But you shouldn’t change what God made you.”

Some boys are born with girl parts. Didn’t God make them that way?

”Women’s brains are different from men’s brains.”

Some women think more like men and like climbing trees. Some men think more like women and paint rocks for fun.

 

I think she’s warming up to it. We had some really good laughs and reminisced about growing up in Wales. She was really impressed with my rock painting. I did one with scenes from half a dozen places we visited and gave it to a volunteer at the Olbrich gardens on the last day. She did a wonderful job welcoming several hundred walkers.

 

my appearance also turned a few heads among the other walkers in attendance. For some reason people notice me now. I used to be completely invisible at one time! LOL!

 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

For some reason people notice me now.

 

It's the confidence. We're incandescent and people respond to that.

 

Hugs!

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

It's the confidence. We're incandescent and people respond to that.

 

Hugs!

I just had to look that word up!!

 

I had never considered applying that to myself before. But you know what? It fits!! I strike up conversations with complete strangers now. I did the chicken dance for the ladies handing out the box lunches and they loved it. The old inhibitions are gone with the wind!! 

 

in•can•des•cent ĭn″kən-dĕs′ənt

• adj.Emitting visible light as a result of being heated.
• adj.Shining brilliantly; very bright. synonym: bright.
• adj.Characterized by ardent emotion, intensity, or brilliance.

 

[MirandaB]

On 7/4/2021 at 3:47 AM, RhondaS said:

Married 20 years ago today...as Mrs would say, 19 happy years! ?

Yeah, first anniversary where Mrs did almost nothing to celebrate. No card, not even a facebook post (she facebooks everything, yesterday's included pic of what she ate for breakfast, how she wished she had a hot dog, fireworks post. 

 

A begrudging hug, a monotone 'happy anniversary' and a comment on the facebook post I made (I facebook at about 5% of the level she does). 

 

So I guess we're just housemates now. A little depressing as I sincerely thought it would get better, but it seems we had a bit of improvement after the early months and then shifted into a pattern where it got just a tad worse.

 

Around 6 I just went for a walk, I walk for about a half hour each day weather permits, last night I did over two hours, had a good cry somewhere along the way.  

[Jackie C.]

That makes me sad @RhondaS. Her spouse is blossoming into the wonderful person she was always meant to be and your wife is missing it because of some pre-conceived prejudices or an unwillingness to try. You are radiant and absolutely worth loving. Don't let anyone tell you different.

 

Hugs!

[KymmieL]

Rhonda, Sorry such an important day for you changed in your wife eyes. 20 yrs isn't nothing to sneeze at. some couples never make it that long.

 

Kymmie

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning,

 

I have coffee today. The last couple of days have been interesting. While I was at work Friday my wife caught our neighbor outside and they spent a few minutes talking about chickens. During the conversation they invited us to a party they were having on the following night.

 

Saturday afternoon arrived and I headed next door. When I arrived there already several people there and I didn't know any of them so I stood off in the corner for a few minutes until I was greeted by the hostess. During the couple few hours I was there several of the woman found their way over to me and we chatted for a few minutes and they went on to mingle.  Maybe not a surprise but none of the guys approached me. when it was time for me to head back home. I thanked them for inviting me. The host shook my hand the hostess thanked me for coming, told me to feel free to stop over anytime they have a party and gave me a quick hug.

 

I returned home told my wife how it went. She asked me if anyone gave me a hard time. I said no with a little questioning in my tone. She explained that when she was talking to them she accidentally outed me. I should have been told that before I went over and really want to be mad but can't. OK, so they knew but they did, from my perspective, treat me like any other woman.

 

Later, when it got dark, everyone around us was setting off fireworks. Since we're on a hill we had a great view of every show. We also ended up having the big, big talk that was way over due. She started the conversation but I added that I'm too tired to fight and argue anymore. That I'm just going to tell her what's going on with my life and don't care if she wants to hear it or not. I will not sugar coat things anymore to spare her feelings. She admitted that until very recently she felt my transition some sort of ploy to get out of the marriage. She also mentioned that she accepts that GCS is in my future and just asked that I wait until we're in a better financial place before pursuing it. Makes sense since we did just buy a house, replaced the entire roof and still need 15k in fences put up, in addition to whatever else decides to fall apart. Turns out she's been watching Caitlyn Jenner's reality show. I know there are a lot of feelings around her but I don't care. It's helping my wife have a better understanding of what I'm going through. We ended up talking until almost 3am.

 

At one point she asked me to go in and get her another drink. When I returned, she was going through my phone. Whatever. She didn't hide it. Hope she liked what she saw. There's nothing obscene on it. Mostly selfies, which she complimented me on one of them. Messages from a facebook chat. The other girls telling me to call them if things go wrong at the party and I need support.

 

All-in-all, it went really good. There's no longer that feeling of tension in the house.❤️

 

Today I'm planning to move the new chicks (and my brave survivor) out to their new-ish home and spend a little time on my prayer garden. Otherwise I'll be on the couch watching TV.

[Ivy]

Less tension is good.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Later, when it got dark, everyone around us was setting off fireworks. Since we're on a hill we had a great view of every show. We also ended up having the big, big talk that was way over due. She started the conversation but I added that I'm too tired to fight and argue anymore. That I'm just going to tell her what's going on with my life and don't care if she wants to hear it or not. I will not sugar coat things anymore to spare her feelings. She admitted that until very recently she felt my transition some sort of ploy to get out of the marriage. She also mentioned that she accepts that GCS is in my future and just asked that I wait until we're in a better financial place before pursuing it. Makes sense since we did just buy a house, replaced the entire roof and still need 15k in fences put up, in addition to whatever else decides to fall apart. Turns out she's been watching Caitlyn Jenner's reality show. I know there are a lot of feelings around her but I don't care. It's helping my wife have a better understanding of what I'm going through. We ended up talking until almost 3am.

Sounds like she is finally accepting and understanding you more. The surgery is a big deal. Sounds like she is ok with that. My wife accepts me getting surgery even though she doesn't like it. I'm glad it's getting better for you.

[Mmindy]

Happy Independence Day Weekend for those who see it as a win.

 

My Suzie and I spent the weekend attending our two favorite 4th of July events.

1st. is the Indianapolis Symphony on the Prairie and their closing is choreographed with the Fireworks. After we go our little spot on the prairie lawn st up. Suzie asked me if I heard how the ticket taker addressed us? I said no... She said with a slight smile; "Welcome to Conner Prairie Ladies". I ask Suzie if that troubled her? She said, and that she would get use to it. I redirected the question, Are we cool? She said yes, I love you.

www.connerprairie.org

 

2nd. is our City of Westfield, IN puts on a great program celebrating the History of Westfield and how the 4th of July has affected our once little town settled by Quakers. Suzie isn't a strong practicing religious woman, she attends church service with me on occasion but isn't real committed outside of the basic tenants of the Christian faith. When she found out why the Quakers came West to settle here in 1836 to escape religious pressure by North Carolina religious groups. Later the town was very active with the Underground Railroad. Suzie said she is leaning to a Quaker view, that everyone is accepted without judgement. Be kind and kindness will be returned.

 

https://westfieldwelcome.com/calendar/westfield-rocks-the-4th/

 

Hugs for everyone (masked where required)

 

Mindy??️‍??

 

 

[Jani]

6 hours ago, Mmindy said:

I ask Suzie if that troubled her? She said, and that she would get use to it. I redirected the question, Are we cool? She said yes, I love you.

So nice to read @Mmindy

 

Jani

[Confused1]

8 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Suzie asked me if I heard how the ticket taker addressed us? I said no... She said with a slight smile; "Welcome to Conner Prairie Ladies". I ask Suzie if that troubled her? She said, and that she would get use to it. I redirected the question, Are we cool? She said yes, I love you.

Suzie said she is leaning to a Quaker view, that everyone is accepted without judgement. Be kind and kindness will be returned.

This is wonderful Mindy!

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Susan R]

9 hours ago, Mmindy said:

She said with a slight smile; "Welcome to Conner Prairie Ladies". I ask Suzie if that troubled her? She said, and that she would get use to it. I redirected the question, Are we cool? She said yes, I love you.

Oh my! I somehow missed this when I was on earlier. Mindy this is one of most endearing things I’ve read here in awhile. I’m more than happy for you and the progress you and your wife have made together in this journey.? Doesn’t that give you hope? It should. It’s one for the books. Wow! what an absolutely incredible response from your wife!! Goosebumps!

 

Always My Best,

Susan R?

[Ivy]

Coffee on the front porch as usual.    It’s quite this time of day, just birds, squirrels, and the occasional car passing.   

[Heather Shay]

@Mmindy that is wonderful news. Hugs

Heather

[Alice_Sybilina]

Coming out kind of jarred my wife, but she dove right in. She let me know what she was worried about (me leaving her or deciding I liked men more than women) but she had my back from the first word. 11 years married and she's still the woman of my dreams. I'm highly empathic so I keep seeing her uncertainty but since I'm not supposed to be able to be in other people's heads I respect that she still has a few things to work through but she hasn't pulled away or asked for some time alone. I always knew she was my blessing, but every day she gets more and more amazing. 

[Aggie1]

On 7/3/2021 at 8:20 PM, KymmieL said:

Melanie, you are right. I just need to continue being my true self. Let the rest of the world see me happy.

True words!

 

On 7/5/2021 at 4:50 AM, Elizabeth Star said:

 

All-in-all, it went really good. There's no longer that feeling of tension in the house.❤️

This is awesome to hear! Doing a little happy dance for you!

[Aggie1]

19 hours ago, Mmindy said:

She said with a slight smile; "Welcome to Conner Prairie Ladies"

Coolest feeling! Happened to me when my sister and I approached the registration desk for a walk in Madison. Then I opened my mouth and the poor lady blushed red and apologized profusely! Gotta work harder on my voice! My sister tried to make me feel embarrassed by it but I was enjoying the moment!

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Alice_Sybilina said:

Coming out kind of jarred my wife, but she dove right in. She let me know what she was worried about (me leaving her or deciding I liked men more than women) but she had my back from the first word. 11 years married and she's still the woman of my dreams. I'm highly empathic so I keep seeing her uncertainty but since I'm not supposed to be able to be in other people's heads I respect that she still has a few things to work through but she hasn't pulled away or asked for some time alone. I always knew she was my blessing, but every day she gets more and more amazing. 

That's awesome that she is accepting you. My wife said the same thing about me liking men more than her. It's a normal response. Nothing you say will truly put her at ease about this. Only your actions will assure her. All this stuff takes time.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Coolest feeling! Happened to me when my sister and I approached the registration desk for a walk in Madison. Then I opened my mouth and the poor lady blushed red and apologized profusely! Gotta work harder on my voice! My sister tried to make me feel embarrassed by it but I was enjoying the moment!

Yeah, I know how you feel. I have a deep voice. It sucks. I'm going to ask about voice surgery when I meet my GRS surgeon later this month. I've heard that it's only about 20% effective, but that would give me a good start.