Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2016

  • KymmieL

    1639

  • Mmindy

    1361

  • Ivy

    1174

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator

@KymmieL good for you for realizing what it important in life and what can wait.  I hope you and your family can get back to a point of happiness.  I understand its hard.  Kymmie is still alive.

Link to comment

Hugs KymmieL.

 

Good luck back at in-person work @RhondaS

 

.Good morning.
Today weather is good to drive to IL for another large volume facial electrolysis session.  Plus a 2nd consult with my surgeon. 
I'm hopefully prepared to discuss FFS, BA, and possibly BS ;)

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning everyone 

 

I stopped posting about 3 weeks ago for similar reasons as Kimmie.  I came to the realization that I just wasn’t able to look and be the woman I wanted to be.  I wasn’t pushed into this conclusion by family issues although my wife has continued to take issue with me.  She was dealing with it and helping me.  In my case it was my own conclusion that I was not ever going to look right.  I started too late.

 

Willow

Link to comment

@KymmieL Sorry to hear your story, hope that at some point it will take a happier turn.

 

@Maddee One day this week and one day in two weeks.

 

Ran into a handful of people in my work circle....got 3 "whoa your hair"s, 1 "did you lose weight" and 1 "you look like you're 14". 

Link to comment

Kymmie, your reasons for putting yourself on hold are noble and you deserve high praise for considering your family.  I only hope your good deeds will lead to your own self-expression and happiness.  While you wait, you always have us for support.

Link to comment

Willow, I know how it feels to look in the mirror and not see the woman you feel you are on the inside.  But it's true what is said about beauty only being skin deep.  I found a way to see my inner beauty and when that happened, it I made peace with the girl staring back from the mirror.  Don't despair and don't give up on yourself, because I think you can do the same thing I did.  Look beyond the mirror to see your inner woman.  

Link to comment

I do find myself questioning my choices at times.  It has been more lately.

I sometimes wonder if there is some kind of group-consciousness involved.

 

But I don't really have family issues to consider these days.

 

I resigned myself to the possibility of never completely "passing" when I began.  And I haven't tried to hide from the world.  I admit that it would be nice, but…  that's just my reality.

 

I've always been on the edge of the bellcurve anyway, so I'm kinda used to that aspect.  Being trans is just another layer to my weirdness.

 

We all just try to do the best we can with the hand we're dealt.

Link to comment

@KymmieL and @Willow, I think Jandi has it right. We are all trying to do the best we can with what life throws at us. None of us asked for this. My wife is now good with whatever I do, but I stay just barely under the radar because of my family. Kudos to both of you.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I don't know @Jandi. I think we get too hung up on passing. I know I'll never have the body I want. That ship sailed back in my 20s. The mental benefits I get from running on E though? I can actually THINK clearly for once in my life. I don't think I could give that up.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Jackie C. My ship also sailed many moons ago. I will never have the body that I adore. A girl can dream. Yeah, I could possibly have that body but it would cost in the 6 figure range. An still never achieve it.

 

Like I said before I am still Kym at work. And yes it makes me cringe every time someone says, Sir to me. I did have a young tech student call me Ma'am multiple times yesterday. It made me feel better. And it wasn't a sarcastic tone either. I just wonder if he has a trans person in his life. never know.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 I know I'll never have the body I want.

 

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

 I will never have the body that I adore.

Something to bear in mind is that these kinds of thoughts are common among cis-women.  Even the most beautiful Hollywood/supermodel women find themselves spending obscene amounts of money trying to become... I don't know what, because these women seem like they already have it all from my point of view.  My wife warned me when I came out to be wary of toxic beauty culture - it is insidious and self-destructive.

 

I am not immune to it, by any means.  Lord knows I have my wish list of what I would love to change, but I try to counter it by paying attention to what I see i the real world.  Women with narrow hips, square jaws, broad shoulders, deep voices.  True, I'd never mistake these women for men, but it reminds me that none of my features are too masculine to be feminine.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

The mental benefits I get from running on E though? I can actually THINK clearly for once in my life. I don't think I could give that up.

This.

One of my fears is losing my access to it.

 

Even at my age I have some physical changes.  And sure it affects my thinking.   I'm just not sure how much of that was already there.  I wasn't exactly "normal" before.  LOL

 

I have no desire to go back.

Link to comment

Wow @Elizabeth Star That study is shocking so it seems we found another good reason for our receiving E

 

@Willow As I have just started HRT (3 weeks today) a few days ago the doubt part was screaming at me that you waited to late to start this, and like you I don't really like how I look but with the help of my therapist I have calmed the doubter down a little. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi everyone 

 

thaks for the encouraging comments.  I do think I need to meet with my therapist or psychologist again.  But whatever I do I won’t be publicly out as Willow anymore.  I had more stares and gawking in one week in an lgbt friendly place than I do in a state that tries to put us down, and make life difficult.  Tired of fighting I guess.  I just want a life, my life and to be happy for whatever years God gives me.  As I told my sister (a school teacher) you could walk out of school on the last day and get run over by a school bus.  I could go out on my boat and get run over by a tug pushing a barge.  None of us really know when our time is coming.

 

If you have the means, and not the direct conflict put up by family, I don’t suppose it matters when you come out and how far you go.  So give it your best!

 

Willow

Link to comment

Willow & Kymmie total respect for an excruciatingly difficult decision.
 

Before I officially came out to myself I wondered if I would be facing the same decision. After a few months on hrt I’m coming to realize that I’m actually detransitioning from the male persona I put on. I acted male to fit in. I feel free to feel like myself no matter what anyone else thinks. It’s not that I’m acting female, it’s more like I’m not acting male and I’m now in default mode, and it feels good.

 

physically from a distance I have the profile of an older athletically built woman, maybe, I hope? The closer my physical appearance becomes feminine the happier I feel. Regardless of how much progress I make or the negative comments I get from former church acquaintances I have no desire to put on a male facade to please anyone.

 

the biggest detransition hurdle is my voice, getting it from a nice baritone to a tenor or alto. I can’t just rely on the default process. I have to work at it. Oh well

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
7 hours ago, MetaLicious said:

Something to bear in mind is that these kinds of thoughts are common among cis-women.

 

Hips. In my case I'm CLEARLY talking about hips. Darn growth plates fuse in you early to mid 20s and then that's it. No hips for Jackie.

 

OK, narrower shoulders would be nice too, but I can deal with what I've got.

 

6 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I get these weird ideas to look up things and stumbled across some research being done in regards to COVID. 

 

I'd read something along those lines... gosh, almost a year ago now? Where they were noticing that women in general had milder symptoms than men and were looking at hormonal links.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

d read something along those lines... gosh, almost a year ago now? Where they were noticing that women in general had milder symptoms than men and were looking at hormonal links.

I did find a few more studies going on but I also find it interesting that none of this is mentioned in the media. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I did find a few more studies going on but I also find it interesting that none of this is mentioned in the media. 

 

It just wouldn't do to publicly acknowledge that women are naturally better than surviving something than men. Can you imagine? The very fabric of society would be torn apart.

 

1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

the biggest detransition hurdle is my voice, getting it from a nice baritone to a tenor or alto. I can’t just rely on the default process. I have to work at it. Oh well

 

There is no default process. Male puberty gave us a bigger voice box and once you've got it, you've got it. Your only options are surgery, training or just leaving it where nature parked it. FtMs get the bigger voice boxes as part of their transition but MtF people like us get bupkis.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

There is no default process. Male puberty gave us a bigger voice box and once you've got it, you've got it. Your only options are surgery, training or just leaving it where nature parked it. FtMs get the bigger voice boxes as part of their transition but MtF people like us get bupkis.

Does a tracheal shave help?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Does a tracheal shave help?

 

Nope. That just reduces the size of the Adam's apple. The voice box needs to basically be scarred shut. The tighter airway makes your voice higher. Some surgeons will only do one or the other, depending on the technique they use.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 152 Guests (See full list)

    • Karen Carey
    • MaybeRob
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,026
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good Morning    well it’s Friday for most, pay day for some.  For me it’s pay day but not Friday.  I work the same opening shift tomorrow.  I typically have Friday on Saturday and Monday on Tuesday.     @KymmieL it does sound like your shop has an issue and you are smack in the thick of it.  The new gal or guy often is.  We have an issue with new people not getting fully trained before being turned loose on customers.  Some struggle through it and some quit because of it.  I try to get them working with customers as quickly as I can but I stay right with them observing, helping, even jumping in when things are getting backed up to keep the stress down.  Not everything comes up during training so when things do, even later after trying is done, I try to help and explain.  Our ASM feels that once she has you scanning barcodes and taking money she is done training.  Generally, refuses to train me on things that she does, and questions why I’m doing something that she normally handles when I’ve been told to do it as part of my advancement training.     She and the cashier involved both keep trying to toss the manager under the bus over a hours of work issue and shifts.  I tell her I realize her issues and I’ll work what ever she needs.  Because of that I tend to get a better more consistent schedule.   Well, time to say Happy Trails to you, until we meet again.   Hi ho Silver, away   Willow
    • Maddee
    • Birdie
      That does get you the 'starting point' for cup size, but manufacturers, style, breast shape, etc... will effect the results.    Step one is of course finding the proper band fit, then figuring out the approximate cup size with the calculations. Of course you need to try on a few styles after that in different cup sizes close to your measured result until you get the perfect fit.    I have bras in a DD that fit just like my bras in DDD both from Torrid but different styles.    I have some DDD's that fit awesome and some that are a bit loose, but I measure a 46G. It's not wonder that 80% of women are wearing them wrong bra. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/man-arrested-accused-of-beating-to-death-transgender-woman-outside-miami-city-ballet/3293404/     May Andrea rest in peace.  If the person in custody is found guilty, hopefully he'll get the punishment he deserves.   Carolyn Marie
    • violet r
      I firmly believe I drank entirely to much for about 25 years. Got drunk every day. This was my coping mechanism to keep hiding deep inside that I was a woman. I miss a lot of signs over the years. Now I drink mabye 1 or 2 beers a day don't even get a buzz anymore. totally accept myself and on regret is that I hide that part of my self which  truly makes me happy being violet 💜. I wasted a lot of time before  being self destructive and had no clue I was just hiding th real me
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Service manager at goes through that here.One was a belt change in a 2019 Kenworth.It was written on the work order including a service done and I seen it.Customer was a complete a-hole.I did it and said he did not want that done.Shown him the original work order and finally said the service manager was right.My boss had to get rid of two customers,always complained about their bill being a little high.Price of parts went up due to inflation and had to explain this to them
    • Tiffany 838
      Well it not morning and I haven’t been on her for a while but it’s nice to be back.  Did some catching up on everyone.  I do have a question, how is Toronto Canada for a get away? Is it a safe and friendly area for us to go.  The wife and I are looking for some where to go to allow me to be my true self.     thanks in advance
    • KymmieL
      Hey, everyone. my life is going down the tubes. at least I think. So, today. A customer called about his car, I told him that the oil change was done. The parts to fix the check engine light are ordered. He can come and get it. For the weekend if he wants. Customer says I didn't want an oil change. it was check the engine light and check for an oil leak. Checking the work order says oil change. The boss wrote the vehicle up. checking with the customer on services wanted.   Being that I wrote down the appointment in the book. and clearly states oil leak. She is complaining because she can't read my small ish writing. It seems she read oil and assumed it as an oil change. It seems like she is blaming me.  She wound up going home because she was too upset. She is stressing about an eye problem she has, she has to get eye surgery it seems she has a tear in her eye.    I feel that I am short for this job. because of the BS they are blaming me on. Plus I am still upset about the trust issue. If either one of the bosses start their Shite tomorrow. I am walking out.    
    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
    • Ashley0616
      Just a comfortable gray sweater dress and some sneakers. Nothing special today. 
    • VickySGV
      I do still carry a Swiss Army knife along with my car keys.  
    • Timi
      Jeans and a white sweater. And cute white sneakers. Delivering balloons to a bunch of restaurants supporting our LGBT Community Center fundraiser today!
    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...