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KymmieL

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4 hours ago, Becoming Diana said:

So that pretty much made my day.  How did your day go?

That is a good day Diana,

 

My day was a good day as well.

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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Lots going on here today.

 

I've been debating on my options for bottom surgery. I am still a ways off from having to decide but still thinking about it. Since I have no "real" desire to ever be with a man I don't see a reason to go for the gold. If my desires were to ever change I'd make things work with what I have.

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Was sick on my couch for a couple days (I don't do illness well) with a grab bag of random mild flu symptoms, hopefully not covid but may be possible, but self-medicated enough to make it to work. At the same time, going through last-minute pre-HRT jitters (5 days until I see the Endo). Going to keep moving forward.

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9 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Lots going on here today.

 

I've been debating on my options for bottom surgery. I am still a ways off from having to decide but still thinking about it. Since I have no "real" desire to ever be with a man I don't see a reason to go for the gold. If my desires were to ever change I'd make things work with what I have.

I've thought about this also. It is very likely that my wife passes before me because of all her health problems. If she does, I will be wanting to be with a man. That may never happen. Is it really worth all the maintenance to be able to have sex as a sis woman if it may never happen? That's a tough one to answer. As it stands right now, I say yes. I may feel differently down the road.

Jamie.jpg

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Good morning. A little sugar and a splash of milk in my coffee.

 

I finally broke down and asked my partner why it is that she wants me to still have guy friends and why does she trust me with them? She stated that she's not worried because she knows I am attracted to women. In that I think I may have found the crux of her current issue with acknowledging me. Despite her supportiveness, part of her still sees me as a man because I like women. I need to find a way to correct this. I know I could just get "caught" playing with a man then there would probably be no question in her mind but it would be a hard slap in the face to my values and beliefs.

 

Moving on......

 

I have plans to meet an old friend for lunch today. I haven't seen her IRL in almost 30 years. I playfully refer to her as my stalker but there might be some truth to it considering the effort she went through to contact me. She wants to go shopping with me and get our nails done. I was supposed to have my first time manicure experience with my partner but for some reason (even though we live together) our plans kept falling through and my partner went a few days ago and got her done without me.

 

Last night, I had to make a run to Home depot. We're (really just me) doing some light remodeling and I needed a couple more boxes of tile. I couldn't find what I was looking for so I found the closest employee and asked for help. We managed to find it and by then I had 2 guys helping me. I kind of felt bad watching one of the guys struggle loading boxes in my cart that I could've done without issue but I felt more at ease being the weak helpless woman while I watched him work.

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 I kind of felt bad watching one of the guys struggle loading boxes in my cart that I could've done without issue but I felt more at ease being the weak helpless woman while I watched him work.

 Just standing there, watching and looking pretty is work, hun. That's part of the deal. lol

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2 hours ago, stveee said:

self-medicated enough to make it to work.

Good morning stveee,

 

Like you I'm an early symptom self-medicating person, the tough thing is know when you really need a med-check for professional help. Back in 2009 I self-medicated my way into double pneumonia, and up until my bought with COVID-19 it was the sickest I've ever been. Be careful and don't jeopardize your surgery dates. Get well soon!

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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22 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Holy poo. There's a handout. Here you go: No, really, there's a handout.

That looks like a fairly comprehensive catalog. It stops a the letter “T” though. Maybe U through Z could be used for dome of the non binary gaps you mentioned!?

 

There seems to be some strong sentiments of repulsion towards men or men parts the past couple of days. The catalog covers sexual attraction but not sexual repulsion. Is that also part of the identity lexicon or should it be?

 

im wondering how trans men might feel reading expressions of disgust rather than expressions of preference?

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3 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I've thought about this also. It is very likely that my wife passes before me because of all her health problems. If she does, I will be wanting to be with a man. That may never happen. Is it really worth all the maintenance to be able to have sex as a sis woman if it may never happen? That's a tough one to answer. As it stands right now, I say yes. I may feel differently down the road.

Jamie.jpg

I’ll start my SRS paperwork in February. I too am primarily attracted to women but I want full depth. I don’t think I’d be satisfied with just partial. There’s a part of me that wants to explore the other nuances of myself.

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2 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

There seems to be some strong sentiments of repulsion towards men or men parts the past couple of days. The catalog covers sexual attraction but not sexual repulsion. Is that also part of the identity lexicon or should it be?

 

Dunno. I can tell you that men gross me out. I don't like the way they smell. I don't like the idea of their genitals, though that could be internalized dysphoria talking. I don't especially like the way they treat my sisters or how they approach life. In my head, they're about the same as horses or cows: Good for some things if closely monitored, but they shouldn't be left to their own devices or they start breaking stuff.

 

Again though, that could be the dysphoria talking because I absolutely HATED my role as a man. It was like a itchy, wooly sweater. It didn't fit right and it had me scratching myself bloody every day and night.

 

As for my trans-masculine friends, well I like them better. They tend to have more empathy and to treat women more like equals. I still wouldn't find myself dating one, because I'm attracted to female secondary sex characteristics, plus the smell thing, but we can absolutely be friends and I might set one up with a friend. I'm gay as heck though so I'm not really the target audience for trans-men.

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Erica Gabriel said:

There’s a part of me that wants to explore the other nuances of myself.

Erica, that's a great way to explain it.

You know you'll be in everyone's prayers, and positive wishes as you reach this life goal.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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Good very late morning, and if I don't type this fast enough it will be afternoon here in EST USA.

 

The coffee was HOT, black, and strong. We're getting our first real snow of the year here in Central Indiana, and the cats are loving the extra activity at the Bird Feeders.

 

Make the best of your day, tomorrow is MONDAY!

If you're retired you don't care.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

In my head, they're about the same as horses or cows: Good for some things if closely monitored, but they shouldn't be left to their own devices or they start breaking stuff.

I tried flipping the script on this, imagining if a cis person said this about a trans person or a male said it about a female. It sounds kind of harsh.

 

I looked up misogyny in Wikipedia which is the hatred of women or considering them as inferior creatures. Here’s what it said…

 

Misogyny can be understood both as an attitude held by individuals, primarily by men, and as a widespread cultural custom or system. The hatred associated with misogyny is one-sided; there is no widespread counterpart practice of misandry, the hatred of men.[2]

In feminist thought, misogyny also includes the rejection of feminine qualities. It holds in contempt institutions, work, hobbies, or habits associated with women. It rejects any aspects of men that are seen as feminine or unmanly. When directed against LGBT people, it may take the forms of homophobia and transmisogyny. Racism and other prejudices may reinforce and overlap with misogyny.

 

interestingly enough, it says misandry the hatred of men, doesn’t exist as such. So technically it sounds like feelings of repulsion and considering men like livestock not to be trusted is supported by Wikipedia.

 

on the other hand an expression of this sort within earshot of the bullpen is likely to generate some snorting and some broncos with broken bones. Could add fuel to transphobia is what I mean.

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1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

on the other hand an expression of this sort within earshot of the bullpen is likely to generate some snorting and some broncos with broken bones. Could add fuel to transphobia is what I mean.

 

I mean sure if it was a trans thing, but I know plenty of cis (and straight) women who think the same way so... I dunno.

 

Hugs!

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On 11/13/2021 at 12:53 PM, KymmieL said:

I have been thinking am I truly transgender.  Then I  look back just a few year ago.  And wonder why I started self medication to grow breasts if I was just a crossdresser. 

 

Kymmie 

Well, me having breasts isn't really too much a significance, they're just something that goes with the total package. I'd like them to be aesthetic and proportional and not much of a fuss to go braless if I want.

Of course, I was bottle-fed, too if there's any Freudian context..

 

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So I had a talk with my wife over lunch today.  It started with her asking about my wanting to be a female on our cruise.  Of course I can’t do that on the days we will be in port sine I don’t have.a gender marker change. I told her I tried to go with out being a woman, but just like all those times I had tried before, it didn’t work.   She wanted to know about dinner that night and I said yes I wanted the entire day.  She accepted that.

 

so I’m sitting on the deck of our boat it’s a little cool especially it a slight breeze kicks up.  I’m waiting for the tide to come up and then I’m going to untie the lines disconnect shore power and water, and see how it reacts to being back on diesel power instead of the outboard ive been using for the past two years.  We talked about our schedules for the next couple of months and are placing them on a common calendar.  We also talked about sailing down to Florida when we can after my surgery and the cruise.  She really surprised me with that one.  I thought she was dead set against that. But I think what is changing her mind is the chilly weather.  Our water heater is isn’t capable of heating water more than 50 to 60 degrees max.  That would be a first for me too.

 

Willow

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1 hour ago, Willow said:

Our water heater is isn’t capable of heating water more than 50 to 60 degrees max.

Willow, I'm glad she seems to be coming around, to be more comfortable with your current, and future presentation.

 

As for the water heater... Why is it only reaching 60 degrees? Are you using Celsius as a degree of measurement?

 

Hope you have a great run on diesel.

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

As for the water heater... Why is it only reaching 60 degrees? Are you using Celsius as a degree of measurement?

 

OK, so that's not just me. 60 is COLD anymore.

 

Hugs!

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21 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

OK, so that's not just me. 60 is COLD anymore.

The average temperature of the water coming out of your community fire hydrants is 55° F. If we're talking 60° C then your water would be scalding hot at an equal temperature of 140° F.

 

With camping or shipboard fresh water being at a premium, you want to use the least amount of water possible when showering, or cleaning up.

Navy shower = wet yourself down, lather up, rinse step out and towel off.

Air Force shower = take your time the water-heater/boiler has an endless amount of water.

 

To be fair, I've never served in the military. However in the last 22 years I've done a lot of DoD work teaching on military bases all across the lower 48, and see the differences.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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2 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Navy shower = wet yourself down, lather up, rinse step out and towel off.

Air Force shower = take your time the water-heater/boiler has an endless amount of water.

Hey easy on there! I’m ex Air Force. I resemble that remark! LOL

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1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Hey easy on there! I’m ex Air Force. I resemble that remark! LOL

?????

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I found my old work ID this morning. Looking at the handsome man in the photo brought some sadness. He did well, was strong and youthful for his age, fathered 3 daughters, was well liked and respected. I showed the ID to my wife and she told me it was hard for her to look at and I agreed. I mourn the passing of this man but am happy he finally removed the mask of masculinity and began the metamorphosis into her true self. She is much happier and balanced now.

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2 hours ago, Erica Gabriel said:

I mourn the passing of this man but am happy he finally removed the mask of masculinity and began the metamorphosis into her true self. She is much happier and balanced now

Erica, your picture that you posted on What are you wearing, show a wonderful start of the metamorphosis. It’s a great description of the process emotionally and physically. That’s why I put the caterpillar and butterfly in my signature. This picture is how I visualize the people here on TransPulseForums.
 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

6707A435-F158-49C3-AC3B-AC8F48C890D2.jpeg

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1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

Erica, your picture that you posted on What are you wearing, show a wonderful start of the metamorphosis. It’s a great description of the process emotionally and physically. That’s why I put the caterpillar and butterfly in my signature. This picture is how I visualize the people here on TransPulseForums.
 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

6707A435-F158-49C3-AC3B-AC8F48C890D2.jpeg

I have a butterfly pendant that I often wear. I also have a phoenix pendant that is also appropriate, but I really need to feel the fire in order to wear it.

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