Good morning All. Coffees on.

[KymmieL]

My wife said she loves me, a man. She refuses to believe that I am the very same person whither I am a male or female.  as Hannah said, the inside hasn't changed. She has said that she couldn't be seen with me as a woman out holding hands. It seems that she doesn't want to seen as a lesbian. Yet, she doesn't care what other people think of her. Go figure.  Yet, we have been out and about to places where I was seen as female.

 

Well the fencometer must be broken. It is reading in the 40s. cloudy and overcast. forecast in the upper 50s today. So it may not be broken. LOL. It just may just be, a cuddle on the couch with my coffee cup kinda day. Alas I will probably do some work on the wagon.  The wife mentioned taking it again when we visit our oldest the end of the month.  I know I won't get the injection system installed. but maybe able to at least get the upgraded headlights done.

 

Have a good day friends,

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[MirandaB]

We're dealing with that "I married a man" issue here too. We've been doing some online therapy, seems to be helping.

 

In one of the sessions I did say the glass half full take on my life is at least one person out there looks at me and thinks 'woman'. 

[Willow]

Happy Saturday everyone 

 

we met our daughter for lunch yesterday. Took her some donuts from a local specialty shop.  We had a good time.  We invited her to come here for thanksgiving.  She said she would see what she could do, her schedule isn’t that far out yet and she just lost two nurses so she is having to work nights again.  She has only 5 more classes to take for her MS. 

 

It rained off and on all night.  Heavy sometimes.  We have two hurricanes out in the ocean causing bad rip currents. But a high pressure system between the US and the hurricanes keeping them away(good thing) but a low pressure system just west of us and the two working together are pulling lots of water in the form of rain up the coast.  Well over 2 inches expected.

 

Married a man, don’t want people to think I’m a lesbian, I won’t touch you, and many more common phrases we’ve all heard many times.  Would I be broken if my wife left?  I sure would.  Could i make it on my own?  Better than she would and she knows it.  But she does keep that threat hanging in the air.  She knows we need each other for many reasons.

 

coffee is getting cold so I’d better get back to drinking it.

 

Willow

[Mmindy]

12 minutes ago, Willow said:

Married a man, don’t want people to think I’m a lesbian, I won’t touch you, and many more common phrases we’ve all heard many times.  Would I be broken if my wife left?  I sure would.  Could i make it on my own?  Better than she would and she knows it.  But she does keep that threat hanging in the air.  She knows we need each other for many reasons.

 

@Willow @KymmieL & @RhondaS

This has to be the common mantra, sang by most unsuspecting spouses, who lives with a transgender woman. Especially if they've been married for a decade or more.

 

Good morning everyone,

On my second cup of coffee, watching the cats debate which door of window to look out of. It's a cool morning here, and I have the windows and doors open. It's nice to hear the birds drowning out the faint city noises.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

 

 

[Mmindy]

[Marcie Jensen]

52 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

I love this take on Einstein. Definitely proves his theory of relativity is correct... 

[rachel w]

Hello everyone    just got back from shopping. good for another week. My HRT is working and feels good. life over all is good still have not gone to any big event .going to some day. Had a pumpkin iced latte at dunkin donuts this morning. it was good. have a good day every one.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

@Hannah Renee@Mmindy@KymmieL It seems that our partners can be one of the most difficult aspects of adjusting ourselves.  I think my GF is having a harder time with it than my husband.  But even my husband remarked again the other day, "I thought I had a girl Pocket Fox, and it turned out I got a boy Pocket Fox" (his nickname for me.)  He knows I'm still the same person, but the social aspect of being suddenly in an unintended same-sex relationship seems to be a big deal.  😢

[Janae]

16 hours ago, RhondaS said:

We're dealing with that "I married a man" issue here too.

Yup, me too!  As others commented, I don’t get it, I am still the same person inside.  Been married 39 years, and I don’t want it to be over, but I need to be Free to be me.  
I hope everyone going through these difficult times can get through this and make the relationship last.

All the best,

Janae

[Ivy]

6 hours ago, Janae said:

I don’t get it, I am still the same person inside.  Been married 39 years, and I don’t want it to be over, but I need to be Free to be me.  

Although I am no longer married, I get it.  I was married over 40 years.  I did not want to split, but it happened, and I was heartbroken.  

But on the other hand, it was only when I was single again that I was free to explore the parts of myself that I had been suppressing for so many years.

So now I am trying to live this next chapter of my story.

[KymmieL]

Morning everyone on this day of remembrance. I remember exactly what I was doing when I learned. 

 

Moving on. Have my grandsons this weekend. Kind of a pain last night but they are playing nice this AM.

 

Yesterday while they were eating dinner. (Mac &cheese, a kids staple?) our oldest grandson, (almost 7) finds my red nail polish on the table asks what it is? Grammy says, nail polish. without missing a beat. my grandson asks, "is it grandpa's?"

Grammy, No. "is it yours, Grammy?" it's either. I call it a win in my book.

 

With the nice cool weather, 32 on the ol' fencemeter. Yesterday, I kept my hair down. Got referred to as female by a couple customers. Win again. 

 

Well off to the the salt mines in a couple. Coffee first.

 

Have a good day.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

[Marcie Jensen]

44 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Morning everyone on this day of remembrance. I remember exactly what I was doing when I learned. 

 

Thank you for remembering @KymmieL. So many have forgotten, and that makes me sad. I too remember where I was and what I was doing. I was on active duty and deployed to, of all places, Bosnia. Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been  a generation and more since then. 

 

My parents were of the World War 2 generation, and I never truly understood how they felt about Pearl Harbor. Now I think I finally do... 

[Jackie C.]

10 hours ago, Janae said:

Yup, me too!  As others commented, I don’t get it, I am still the same person inside.  Been married 39 years, and I don’t want it to be over, but I need to be Free to be me.  

 

I mean, sure, I'm more or less the same person INSIDE, but I wasn't presenting as myself for the first 26 years we were together. I know her, but she only knew my facade. Your wife fell in love with the person you were pretending to be. It can be a pretty big adjustment once that facade falls away.

 

Hugs!

[Mmindy]

23 minutes ago, Marcie Jensen said:

My parents were of the World War 2 generation, and I never truly understood how they felt about Pearl Harbor. Now I think I finally do... 

Marcie,

 

I used this same analogy to defend my grandchildren's generation, and the new recruits we have in public safety, just last week. They questioned why we're still having 911 memorial day duties, for an event that happened so long ago. Those of us who lived through the 911 event, it's totally devastating, however those who only know it as recent history. There is no emotional attachment and they don't get it. I understand their feelings because they were the same feelings I had for the attacks on Pearl Harbor, HI. 

 

My connection to the 911 attacks are two fold. 

 

First, and most directly I knew the members of FDNY Hazmat CO. 1 and Squad 288 personally, having taught for them on many occasions before and since.

 

Second, I was close personal friends with the Somerset County PA., Emergency Management group and the area fire departments surrounding Shanksville, PA the Flight 93 crash site.

 

So today is a very somber day for me, and those of our generation.

 

Good morning everyone, the coffee was Hot, strong, and black.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[JJ Orange]

Good morning, friends. Been tired recently due to a strange sleep schedule, but it is ok for now. I'll try to change it so I take less naps in the day. 
Coffee time! ☕️

[KymmieL]

What a change from this morning now 73 fencometer is at 105 but it is in direct sunlight. Even had to scrape the frost from the car windows this AM before I went to work.

 

It is like when Kennedy was shot, my mom remembers what she was doing when she heard, driving almost hit a tree. While recently people will remember what they were doing when the Queen passed.  Some memories just stick with you. 

 

wife and youngest are taking the grandsons home. She is seeing how our new to us car is on the road. We picked up another econo box. a 2013 VW Jetta Sportwagen with the TDI. Yeah,  we actually own a diesel now.

 

 Everyone had a good rest of the day. I may pop back in later.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Willow]

Hi everyone,

 

911 I was at work.  In fact, the whole family was at work.  Our son an airline pilot.  Daughter an RN, wife worked for a group of surgeons and I worked just across the road from the perimeter of Dulles Airport.

 

wars: my mother was a child during WWI.  My father was in France fighting during WWI.  WWII my father was asked by the department of the Army to fix the operation of Erie Ordinance Depot.  Korea, I remember having blackout drills.  Vietnam my brother-in-law and I both served in the Air Force.  That was my parents last war.  Kennedy, I was home from school, sick and watched the whole thing on TV live.  

 

So, I’ll start another discussion, how is it our fault when we didn’t know we were transgender?  I knew I had some inappropriate thoughts and desires, but it wasn’t that I knew I was a girl.  I was a man and did those things expected of a man just as @KymmieL did and no doubt a lot of us.  Yes, now I understand those “inappropriate thoughts” and what they meant.  I understand why I got pierced, it was for the pain something else we do.  At one time I had 7 holes, now all but three are closed.  My ears and one other.

 

Kymmiel I think I mentioned this but we sold our diesel Jeep for a VW Taos.  SUV.  They stopped making Jettas.  We had a 2010 Jetta TDI, loved it until VW bought it back.  Also had a 2013 Passat. So kind of natural we’d go back to VW.  
 

I’ll likely sell my Ford soon, it isn’t worth much but I don’t need it anymore.  Not worth making needed repairs anymore.

 

hugs

 

Willow

[awkward-yet-sweet]

9/11.  Yep, I remember it.  Hard to believe there's a whole generation who are now adults - born after that date.  They don't remember air travel before all of this, society before security cameras everywhere, etc...  I was at school when it happened, and everybody was glued to the news. 

 

My husband remembers it even more clearly.  He was a teenager, and had actually been to NYC and up in the WTC just one week prior.  A lot of his classmates went to war in the years that followed.  The human cost lasts far beyond the initial day, but for many it seems like the world is divided into "pre-9/11" and "post-9/11" time periods. 

 

 

 

 

[KymmieL]

I know what you mean, @Willow. When I first tried on some of my sisters clothes. I knew it was strange and weird. But it felt right. With every piece of feminine clothing I have gotten it still feels right. Every time I step out the door dressed more feminine that normal, It feels right. I never in a million year ever thought I was transgender up until about 5 yrs ago. Once things started falling into place and I learned why things in my life happened. It finally hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I never really knew why I joined the service, until now. it is like the switch was thrown.

 

Kymmie

[StephieGurl]

Drinking coffee so I might as well chime in. The first 5 years of experimenting was in the closet. The last of which I was posting on a naughty sight. Each time I dressed I thought of how I felt was it just some fun or did it have sone real meaning. Not until that 5th year did any feeling of femininity hit me very hard, and now my mind was saying yeah your a girl. In June of the year (2018) There was no doubt--I was as woman or that was the most likely position to take. It was November 10, 2018 that I declared myself Stephie, so I was born again as a woman. By my first birth I was 59. It is only two months until I will be 4 years old.

 

But I was still in the closet, except online at another social site where I met some very encouraging friends. One of which told me to take that first step as Stephie. She was also helpful in coming out to my gf/partner. We bounce ideas of each other. Finally I decide I was trying to think it through, where what I needed to do was feel my way through. So one day my partner told me I made her happy. Lights flashing I will ask her if I would still make her happy if I was a girl. There was puzzlement and doubt. But the main thing was I was not rejected. When I decide I wanted to transition she wasn't keen on it, but I went ahead and came out to my therapist on July 10, 2019. So I considered that the beginning of my transitioning.. My Partner fairly quickly came around and taught me how to do my make up and took a lot of the pics for a photo shoot my therapist wanted me to do. By January 2020 I was full time and the following April I start feminization hormone treatment. That has given the short life of Stephie everything she ever want for her body (except her belly).

[Ivy]

I was at work for 9/11.  In school for JFK.  

 

My father was a kid for WWI, served in WWII.  I got drafter during Viet Nam, but ended up in Europe.

 

10 hours ago, Willow said:

…how is it our fault when we didn’t know we were transgender?

Personally, I wasn't aware that there was such a thing.  I was always curious about girl things.  Never cross-dressed except once for Halloween.  I had 2 sisters who were much younger than me, so we were not close.

I learned pretty quickly that being a "sissy" was not a good thing.

When I got to Jr High I realized I was carrying my books like a girl and made myself switch to guy mode.   From then on I made a point of getting rid of any girl mannerisms I had. (sitting walking etc.)

It's hard to explain… I felt like I was kinda part girl, and this was something I had to hide and overcome to be like the other guys - or people would discover my shameful secret.

Oddly enough, I would still prefer a bit of "girl" jewelry, somewhere inconspicuous.  Any "girl" items I somehow acquired were precious to me.

But I still didn't know transgender was a thing.  I was more worried about being gay - which I wasn't - although I didn't date girls.  I think I thought I wasn't "manly" enough to interest them.

I did experiment just once with a guy, but wasn't impressed.

Soon after, I got together with my ex-wife.  I figured that settled the matter, and lived as a homo/trans-phobic guy for the next 40+ years.  Admittedly I was kinda jealous of her body and all.  But I had to accept "reality".

After many years, I slowly began to acknowledge some of my feminine tendencies - always jokingly.  But when my marriage broke, I had a chance to see what was really going on, and the dam broke.

[Willow]

Good morning

 

As I read your replies, listen to your coffee talk, it’s pretty obvious we all share similar beginnings.  Today’s kids seen to figure it out earlier and with different stories but as we get older before knowing our stories seem to align.

 

Speaking of coffee, I have a new sponsor starting today, Folgers Black Silk.   Not as bitter as some of the others I have been sponsored by in the past.

 

I’ve been making pizza dough lately.  My wife made a raisin/pecan bread yesterday and I have plans for a crusty round bread later in the week.  I tried a friend’s dessert recipe yesterday and that turned out pretty good too.  We are sharing the cooking lately although mine is somewhat more limited.  More baking than cooking but I do have some meals I make too.

 

Guess I’ll be doing some housework today.  We have a home health visit scheduled for Wednesday.

 

have a great week, 

 

hugs

 

Willow

[StephieGurl]

5 minutes ago, Willow said:

Good morning

 

As I read your replies, listen to your coffee talk, it’s pretty obvious we all share similar beginnings.  Today’s kids seen to figure it out earlier and with different stories but as we get older before knowing our stories seem to align.

 

Speaking of coffee, I have a new sponsor starting today, Folgers Black Silk.   Not as bitter as some of the others I have been sponsored by in the past.

 

I’ve been making pizza dough lately.  My wife made a raisin/pecan bread yesterday and I have plans for a crusty round bread later in the week.  I tried a friend’s dessert recipe yesterday and that turned out pretty good too.  We are sharing the cooking lately although mine is somewhat more limited.  More baking than cooking but I do have some meals I make too.

 

Guess I’ll be doing some housework today.  We have a home health visit scheduled for Wednesday.

 

have a great week, 

 

hugs

 

Willow

I guess there is a spectrum for sponsors, just like genders, except for that choose not to identify within the spectrum. I would love to make my pizza, but opiate withdrawal just won't let me do it yet.

[Mmindy]

25 minutes ago, Willow said:

Speaking of coffee, I have a new sponsor starting today, Folgers Black Silk.   Not as bitter as some of the others I have been sponsored by in the past.

Good morning everyone,

I share the same sponsor as Willow, served HOT, black, and strong.

Suzie is the baker in the house, and I'm the primary cook. I love cooking busing the table, cleaning the stove, and counter tops. However I don't do the dishes. Not because I won't do the dishes. Suzie just doesn't think I load the dishwasher correctly. So we mess them up, I bus them up, and she washes them.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[StephieGurl]

Good morning Mindy, thanks a morning chuckle. It used be whoever cook the other would do dishes. Well, I have taken over the kitchen, and really my partner with all hear arthritis finds it hard to do any cooking although we made beef stew about a month ago. I had also took over as chief bottle washer, until my neck went south for the third time. But I'm back to doing the dishes. Actually I decide it was fun. Organize it as to do it it the least amount of time.