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Came out Thanksgiving


Ashlee

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Well, I came out to a lot of family Thanksgiving. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I really didn't have a choice. My boobs point straight out now and visibly im starting to look pretty feminine (I am so happy for the changes). 

 

My family and many friends know now but most weren't surprised they said. My mom was the hardest to flat out tell as she is fighting cancer and I didn't want to put this on her but she is the one who noticed i have little boobs. She used to always say "you're not a girl" "you can't wear that" or other comments not knowing. She knows now and good with it.

 

I've also posted on Facebook some hints, and an artistic photo of me and a line of text telling people if they don't like the way look to scr..off

 

Only thing that bothers me is when people say they still love me, like Im a murder or something. anyway, my attitude now is pretty i don't care who knows. Im living for my happiness, not theirs :)

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  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations Ashlee, what a wonderful opportunity to do this!  I have so many questions but I'll try to limit it to just three.  Feel free to not answer any of them if it will cause you any discomfort whatsoever. 

• Did you attend the event presenting male, female, or andro?

• Did you announce to everyone at once (maybe at the dinner table) or as they arrived, or some other way?

• Was there any unforeseen issues that may have made it easier if you did "something" a little different?

 

I'm not trying to be nosey but am genuinely interested for myself.  I had an extremely vivid dream last night that I came out to two of my sisters.  I can replay the conversations with each in my head.  On one hand because of this dream, I'm feeling overly anxious now to tell them both now but on the other hand, I realize it was only a dream.  I'm trying to figure out the best way to come to my family and this may help me.

 

Thank you,

Susan R?

 

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3 hours ago, Susan R said:

Did you attend the event presenting male, female, or andro?

• Did you announce to everyone at once (maybe at the dinner table) or as they arrived, or some other way?

• Was there any unforeseen issues that may have made it easier if you did "something" a little different?

Hi. I always present andro I guess. Well, I try too but I seem to look more "girl" lately, even in hats, which is awesome. I'll post a selfie of me on Thanksgiving with no makeup or anything. Im super disphoric but meh. I don't usually wear much makeup, just clear polish, tinted moisturizer and a little mascara. I actually talked to most one at a time in person and over the phone. I sent people not here pictures so they could understand. I came out to a couple people earlier this month. Practice I guess lol. I don't think that I anything could have mad it any easier. I was so scared, mostly to tell my mom. 

20181122_220918-1.jpg

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I forgot to say that whatever is going on inside my body and mind is also making me care less what people think of me. Before I could even buy a girls sweat shirt because of the anxiety but now, I'll just walk right up and hold sports bras and boyshort style panties right up to myself to see if they fit. Don't care who's watching. Usually nobody is even looking at me or even cares what I'm doing. 

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9 hours ago, Ashlee said:

whatever is going on inside my body and mind is also making me care less what people think of me.

That sounds close to what I'm starting to experience.  I'm not sure what is causing it either.  Maybe it's the sheer desire to be myself.  I think I'm expressing my femininity in small ways more often now with friends and family.  None of them know me as Susan yet.  I try hard to keep it in check but it is getting harder.  I am still very self conscious but not as much as I was 6 months ago.

 

9 hours ago, Ashlee said:

Before I could even buy a girls sweat shirt because of the anxiety but now, I'll just walk right up and hold sports bras and boyshort style panties right up to myself to see if they fit. Don't care who's watching. Usually nobody is even looking at me or even cares what I'm doing. 

When I was in my 20's (30+ years ago), I had no inhibitions buying women's clothing.  It took several years to get to that point but eventually I didn't care.  This went on for years and I was never presenting female either.  After that I got married and had 21 years of playing it "straight", I regained my shopping inhibitions.   Over this last six months, I've only felt comfortable shopping for ladies clothes with my wife.  I know this will change...it has to for my own sanity but it's going to take awhile.

 

Also, thanks for the answers to my questions. I'm encouraged by your bravery and continued move forward.

 

Susan R?

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Hi Ashlee.  You look great in your photo!  Well. I'm sure it was a somewhat anxiety inducing day but I'm sure it got easier as you told your story.  It's over now and you can be you.  If you lose people, don't fret.  They may come around (don't burn bridges) and see you are happier, and that your gender is no concern of theirs. 

 

I'm glad your mom is OK with this news and I do hope her cancer treatment goes well.  I'm a survivor too.

 

Cheers, Jani

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4 hours ago, Susan R said:

I know this will change...it has to for my own sanity but it's going to take awhile.

It will change. I don't think people notice or think anything as much as I believe them too. It seems like If I'm not paying them any attention the don't pay me any. Kinda strange but that seems to be ehst Iv noticed 

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3 hours ago, Jani said:

Hi Ashlee.  You look great in your photo!  Well. I'm sure it was a somewhat anxiety inducing day but I'm sure it got easier as you told your story.  It's over now and you can be you.  If you lose people, don't fret.  They may come around (don't burn bridges) and see you are happier, and that your gender is no concern of theirs. 

 

I'm glad your mom is OK with this news and I do hope her cancer treatment goes well.  I'm a survivor too.

 

Cheers, Jani

Hi. Yes, I think the hardest part of coming out is over. The people I care about know (except my kids) and are fine with it. My kids are grown up and living there lives now. I think they already have a suspicion about it though. Female coworkers pretty much know or at least know I'm definitely not a "normal boy"  We trade lotions and masks from Ipsy and other subscription stuff. They can also tell that most of my clothes are female. The guys are in denial. I don't hang out with them at all though, only the girls. :)

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