I’m getting nervous...

[Fish(i just want answers)]

Hello everyone, it’s fish again. I’m getting nervous because after I made my original post on this site, the idea that I might be trans is seeping into my mind. I’m worried that this is something that I need to take seriously because this is exactly what happened when I first had to come out to myself in terms of sexuality. I just don’t think I can handle the emotional burden of existing as a trans person. I don’t know how my family, friends, teachers, or boyfriend will react if I come out, especially if it turns out that I am cis. However, I don’t know if I can keep on existing the way I am. It’s absolutely miserable and I’m so uncomfortable all the time. I just don’t know what I should do.

[VickySGV]

First thing to do is take a long slow and deep breath followed by several more.  If you have the questions that you do, we can eliminate the possibility that you are Cis gender, since you would not have those questions if you were for even a minute of your life.  The job ahead is to find out which part of the Trans spectrum  you are in followed by what steps you need to take to live with your identity and taking them.  Some people can get by with wearing a different hair-do and/or different undergarments.  Others like me, need to go for HRT and maybe, but not always, surgery.  All of us with any degree of full time life have gone through what you are looking at and survived, and for the most part are having fun and feeling good.  I can assure you that NONE of us felt we could shoulder our weight of being Trans when it started out.  You will be changing is some ways and you may be in for changes to friends and family as well, but you can do, because the alternative is one we try to prevent here.

[Carolyn Marie]

Fish, please just try to take it easy.  There is no rush to figure everything out, no rush to decide what to do, no rush even to find out if you are trans.  The resolution to these questions can wait until YOU are ready, and it prob isn't a good idea to push yourself too hard.  How people might react if you came out to them is a real concern and not to be taken lightly.  Acting on the knowledge or belief that you are trans can be traumatic for you and everyone who knows you.  So you should think long and hard about who to come out to, if anyone, and when that should happen.

 

You said in your intro post that you can't see a G.T. right now.  Then I suggest you should wait until you can see one, even if that takes months, or a couple of years.  If you say that you can't exist as you are, then you are going to have to decide what is more important; telling someone and risking a negative reaction, or doing nothing and risking your emotional and mental health.

 

The middle ground might be to find one or two people you can trust, those who would most likely be supportive.  That would give you a safety net and someone to bounce  ideas off of.  If they had the resources to help you see a G.T. that would be even better.

 

We can do a lot of things for you here, but we aren't your real-life friends or family, and someone in real life to confide in seems very important right now.  Please give it some thought.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie