Tendencies Returning

[killjoyaiden]

I'm seeing myself more and more often turning back into the person I was a couple months ago. Just as I'm writing this, I'm thinking about how I'll fast tomorrow. I know it's not good for me. I've done the research, I've listened to my therapists, I've listened to the doctors and nurses. But, I'm not really concerned with myself physically. I want to fast because I know it'll help me somehow mentally. I can't keep dealing with this constant second-guessing of myself. I can't do anything anymore without the dysmorphia and dysphoria creeping in. It's swallowing me whole. It's getting too much. It's getting too dark. 

 

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Something just told me to reach out. I love you all.

[Willow]

Hi,

 

As someone who has been through this for years, that’s one of the unfortunate things about gender dysphoria.  It comes and goes.  Something will trigger it to hit you hard, then it will subside, only to come back again.  

 

I cant tell you why, nor canI tell you what causes it.  It might be different for each of us.  But what I can tell you is that this is typical for a lot of us.  Best advice, continue to see a therapist they will help you figure it out.

 

hang in there.

 

hugs

 

Willow