Lost in Translation

[Mar]

Exposition first: I've been struggling with gender identity issues for nearly three decades now (I'm 29), and around about this time last year I started to finally come around to and accept the idea that I'm transmasculine. I feel like to some extent I'm not fully comfortable saying I'm a man... in English I prefer to say I'm genderqueer and transmasculine instead, because those terms exist and they seem more precise (but also the more introspection and self-reflection I do the more binary I feel?) SO... I've reached a point where, I'm gonna be the big 3-0 and I know i'm trans and I know I want to tell my family and come out to them. My problem is language. 

 

Issue: My parents do speak English fairly well, my father better than my mother, and my brother is a fluent English speaker... but our first language is Russian, and I know my parents especially would understand things better in that language. I'm not very good at Russian - mostly an awkward kind of conversational fluency. SO... I'm not entirely sure how to go about coming out. The letter I have written is in English and, for the purpose of ease of translation, I have simply put that I consider myself transgender - that I am a man. I'm really not sure whether going into detail with regard to genderqueer-ness and transmasculine-ness would serve my purpose here? But I also don't want to ... be disingenuous in that regard? 

 

Basically I can't decide whether I should break out the great big lgbt dictionary for my family, and whether it will serve the purpose I am trying to achieve, which is ... well, coming out to them. It feels like I'm "dumbing things down". Am I? I need an outside perspective, because that's not what I want to do. 

 

It also may bear mentioning that I do plan to pursue HRT and top surgery, which is not something I've mentioned to them in the letter. And that I've spoken of myself in "boy" terms since I was a kid in Russian, and I dress like a dude, act like a dude, and basically just... am a dude. So... honestly I just don't know how to phrase any of it and it's putting a stopper on my plan. 

 

Does anyone else have any experience with multilingual coming-out experiences? How did you address nuances in translation, and nuances in understanding of lgbt identities cross-culturally? 

[tracy_j]

Hi Mar, I can see your problem but am a bit uncertain as you about getting around it. I do understand a little Russian as I do read some technical literature (or try to), and have found some terms do differ a bit in context meaning between English and Russian. On the whole I find the language easier than it appears but I suspect a misunderstanding of terms little used day to day would be likely. That said, modern terminology tends to translate more directly than older language. I find I can often get by quite well just understanding the character differences. It is just when things are described in old fashioned language (eg tubes [electronic valves] are лампы [lamps] but the more modern transistors are транзисторы - an aproximate direct character translation). Anyway I won't dwell there except to show my very limited knowledge but I would suggest you could examine your dictionary a little and see how it translates. It may be helpful if you are put on the spot. There will likely be misunderstandings as there tends to be with common language anyway. It is, I think, always best to avoid terms which many would not understand. My opinion is to keep to simple terms which are less easily mis-understood. I feel they should understand the basics in a similar way to anyone else (that is not to say they won't be in denial or reject the facts like family often do). Save the surgery and other involved things for when they have come to terms with things better.

 

Tracy