Pregnancy Dysphoria MTF

[Lilly James]

So possibly a strange question here. As a amab individual it's impossible to get pregnant however I sometimes get really dysphoric about it. While I often wish to have a female body I also want to experience being pregnant and giving birth as well. My mother once told me that the feeling of being pregnant and have new life growing inside of you was one of the most beautiful in her life and she was sad I would never experience it. She didn't know about my true gender identity and therefore I was afraid to tell her how sad that actually made me feel. Does anyone else feel this or am I just being weird and overdramatic?

[A. Dillon]

No, not at all. For me, it is the opposite; the idea that I could have a life growing inside me has made me cry to the point of throwing up before. While there is not much I can do about it, I have tried to cope by simply, and while this might sound hard, just grazing over it. I have less issues with pregnancy since I have stopped living as female, but now it really pains me that I cannot be a father. I cannot have a wife and have biological kids with her, no matter what I do. I can't be with her while she is in labor, and hold a new baby knowing that I made that. It hits me at different times and with different strengths, but it is always there. I try my best to just let it go, and while it sounds a little weird, I just pretend that I was born an infertile cis man. It makes it feel less like a loss or my fault, and more like an accident that I have to be able to work through. 

[Lilly James]

45 minutes ago, A. Dillon said:

No, not at all. For me, it is the opposite; the idea that I could have a life growing inside me has made me cry to the point of throwing up before. While there is not much I can do about it, I have tried to cope by simply, and while this might sound hard, just grazing over it. I have less issues with pregnancy since I have stopped living as female, but now it really pains me that I cannot be a father. I cannot have a wife and have biological kids with her, no matter what I do. I can't be with her while she is in labor, and hold a new baby knowing that I made that. It hits me at different times and with different strengths, but it is always there. I try my best to just let it go, and while it sounds a little weird, I just pretend that I was born an infertile cis man. It makes it feel less like a loss or my fault, and more like an accident that I have to be able to work through. 

Thank you x

Pretending to be infertile and cis seems like the right way to go. 

[Jackie C.]

This is actually pretty common Lilly. The desire to procreate is pretty strong in us naked apes. It's only natural that we'd want to make kids the way our brain thinks we should be able to.

 

However, there are work-arounds. For example, sperm banks and artificial insemination are both things. While Dillon might be unable to impregnate his wife directly, he can still be involved in everything that comes after conception. On the flip side, there are thousands of infants that need loving parents and no matter what we were assigned at birth, we have the ability to provide that. Granted it's a little harder for us (depending on location) because of political pressures and the part where a lot of adoption agencies are attached to churches, but it's possible. We can love a child that isn't ours biologically just as much as one that is.

Honestly, my parents were garbage at raising a child. Biology is completely overrated.

 

Though if you're young enough, science advances a little more every day. Who says that in 20 years you WON'T be able to conceive? Hope for the future! Heck, if you're so inclined, work to make it happen.

 

Hugs!