Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My professional coming out continues.


ShawnaLeigh

Recommended Posts

53 minutes ago, Susan R said:

If your wife is showing less interest in you and your intimacy level has been greatly reduced since you started your transition, then it might be a tough road ahead.  Alternatively, if she does still respond to you in the same way despite you presenting female,  then maybe she’s just be saying she’s not attracted to you in the hopes that you have a change of heart about your transition

New Years Eve I was outright told our sex life was over for basically the same reasons I stated earlier.  We do not share a bed any longer and havent since last November and we have zero intimacy in our relationship.   We don’t even hug anymore.  (Which I could use every so often.)

However our friendship has blossomed though and we still enjoy spending time together but only as friends.  Which I am ok with as I have accepted that she will never truly accept me as Shawna her wife.  We are slowly fading apart as spouses and being in love.  Well she is.  I’m still very much in love with her but will not fight to save something she has already ended.      
Geesh it’s sad to reread that but there it is.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Ok I understand your wife's point but it sounds like she is reverting back to an earlier version of your relationship when you were just friends.  That's how we all start out, right?  Many TG/Cis relationships are non-sexual and they survive.   Seeing how she is reacting as your friend, maybe a hug or two will be possible in the future.  Is it possible she see you are a partner or significant other?   This is how lasting relationships grow, slowly and with care.   

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jani said:

Many TG/Cis relationships are non-sexual and they survive.

This might be easier for older couples who have libidos that have tapered off considerably. @ShawnaLeigh You and your wife are in an earlier life stage so it may be a much more important part of your relationship.  I guess time will tell.

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Jani said:

Ok I understand your wife's point but it sounds like she is reverting back to an earlier version of your relationship when you were just friends.  That's how we all start out, right?  Many TG/Cis relationships are non-sexual and they survive.   Seeing how she is reacting as your friend, maybe a hug or two will be possible in the future.  Is it possible she see you are a partner or significant other?   This is how lasting relationships grow, slowly and with care.   

I too have considered this as what is truly happening between us and it’s why I still hold the tiniest of hopes.  Though our marriage did not sprout from a previous friendship.  We met on eHarmony.  Lol

3 hours ago, Susan R said:

This might be easier for older couples who have libidos that have tapered off considerably. @ShawnaLeigh You and your wife are in an earlier life stage so it may be a much more important part of your relationship.  I guess time will tell.

Yes I realize this too.  Though I’m in my 50s now and she is not far behind.  I’m not sure when sex normally becomes less important but I feel it’s now for me with the lack of useful equipment on either side of the gender spectrum.  
I also realize your greatest sex organ is your brain so there are “other” ways.  Lol

Which I am good at I’m told.  (blushing). 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
22 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I also realize your greatest sex organ is your brain so there are “other” ways.  Lol

My lady meds have seemingly made this even more important...we’ll, for me at least. Sometimes even a single thought can make all the difference.  I knew this was true for many if not most cis women but until about a year ago, I had no idea transitioning would change things so dramatically in a trans woman.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment

I ve always known that on some level but never thought I’d have to relay on my brain so much for this.  Lol

My lady meds have shut down the works down there.  I’m both happy and sad.  
I don’t know if I will ever have an “O” again. 

Link to comment
37 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I ve always known that on some level but never thought I’d have to relay on my brain so much for this.  Lol

My lady meds have shut down the works down there.  I’m both happy and sad.  
I don’t know if I will ever have an “O” again. 

You probably want to make sure your T is high enough. T blockers may not even be necessary, and can apparently even be harmful and prevent future breast growth if your levels get too low. This is according to a few sources including my doctor.

 

From what I understand the "O" just takes practice. I'm sure you will learn if you try. They are not the same as before. I have had different types even before discovering who I was.

 

Belle ❤

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Belle said:

You probably want to make sure your T is high enough. T blockers may not even be necessary, and can apparently even be harmful and prevent future breast growth if your levels get too low. This is according to a few sources including my doctor.

 

From what I understand the "O" just takes practice. I'm sure you will learn if you try. They are not the same as before. I have had different types even before discovering who I was.

 

Belle ❤

Well I have a T check this Monday so we will see.  Though I do not think I’m physically incapable but it’s more a mental component of I don’t care about it and it’s not a priority in my daily thinking.  Certainly not as it was when I was living fully male.  
Which again makes me very happy.  My issue also is I’m not in a relationship where sex can even happen nor does anyone want me in the regard.  That plays a big roll too.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Well I have a T check this Monday so we will see.  Though I do not think I’m physically incapable but it’s more a mental component of I don’t care about it and it’s not a priority in my daily thinking.  Certainly not as it was when I was living fully male.  
Which again makes me very happy.  My issue also is I’m not in a relationship where sex can even happen nor does anyone want me in the regard.  That plays a big roll too.  

 

I'm sure it's your mental game. I never had trouble crossing the finish line all the way down to .1 T. You'll get there. 

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 132 Guests (See full list)

    • Betty K
    • MaybeRob
    • VickySGV
    • AllieJ
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      I have read numerous accounts of trans folk no longer being welcome among evangelicals.   I am here for help and fellowship not to rebuke anyone.  I can take a pretty high degree of insult, etc., and you haven't insulted me, to my recollection anyway :) and I usually let it go.  But I thought I would let it all out there.   I am sure I disagree with you on numerous issues.  I appreciate other people's viewpoints, including those who radically disagree with me.  Intellectual challenge is good. One thing I appreciate about @MaeBe.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Congrats!
    • Sally Stone
      Post 8 “The Ohio Years” We moved to Pittsburgh because of the job with US Airways.  The job involved classroom instruction and simulator training, but no actual flying, so I kept looking for an actual pilot position.  A year after signing on with US Airways I got hired to fly business jets.  The company was located in Cleveland, Ohio, but I was flown commercially from my home in Pittsburgh to where my aircraft was located, making it unnecessary to live near company headquarters.    My flight scheduled consisted of eight days on duty with seven days off.  Having seven days off in a row was great but being gone from home eight days in a row was difficult.  For the first few years the flying was fun, but after a while the eight flying days in a row, were taking their toll on me.  Those days were brutal, consisting of very long hours and a lot of flying time.  Usually, I came home exhausted and need three days just to recover from the work week.  Flying for a living is glamorous until you actually do it.  Quickly, it became just a job.    After five years as a line captain, I became a flight department manager, which required we live near company headquarters.  That meant a move to Cleveland.  Working in the office meant I was home every night but as a manager, the schedule was still challenging.  I would work in the office all week and then be expected to go out and fly the line on weekends.  I referred to it as my “5 on 2 on” schedule, because it felt as though I had no time off at all.   About the same time, we moved to Cleveland, my wife and I became “empty nesters,” with one son in the military and the other away at college.  Sadly, my work schedule didn’t leave much time for Sally.  Add to the fact that while Cleveland is an awesome city, I just never felt comfortable expressing my feminine side.  Most of my outings, and believe me there weren’t enough, occurred while I was on vacation and away from home.   One of the most memorable outings occurred over a long weekend.  I had stumbled across an online notice for a spring formal being held in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, hosted by a local trans group there.  I reached out to Willa to see if she was up for an excellent adventure.  She was, so I picked her up and we drove to Harrisburg together.    The formal was held on Saturday evening and we had the absolute best time.  It turned out that organizers were a group named TransCentralPA.  Everyone was wonderful and I made a lot of new friends that evening.  We learned the spring formal was one of the group’s annual events but for the following year, instead of a spring formal, the group wanted to do a local transgender conference.  That local conference would become the Keystone Conference, and I would attend every year for the next 12.  My move to the west coast was the only reason I stopped attending annually.  I went to the first annual Keystone Conference as an attendee, but in subsequent years I served as a volunteer and as a workshop presenter; more about those in the next installment.   For my Cleveland years, the Keystone Conference would be my major outlet for feminine self-expression.  Yes, I did get out on other occasions, but they were too infrequent.  The managerial job just didn’t allow me the freedom I needed to adequately live my feminine life, and my frustration level was slowly, but steadily on the rise.  It amazed me how adversely not being able to express the feminine half of my personality was affecting my happiness.   However, a major life change was upcoming, and while it would prove to be a significant challenge in many ways, the events would ultimately benefit my female persona.  First, my mom and dad got sick.  They were in and out of the hospital and required personal care.  My wife and I did our best but living in Cleveland, we were too far from them to give them the support they both needed.  Second, I was experiencing serious job burn out.  I decided I need to find another job and I needed to be closer to my parents.    Things changed for the better when I got hired by an aviation training company as a flight simulator instructor.  I would be training business jet pilots.  The training facility was located in New Jersey, which put us much closer to my parents, and the work schedule was much better for quality of life.  Most importantly, this life change would help Sally re-emerge and once again flower.    Hugs,   Sally       
    • Mmindy
      I made a living talking about bulk liquids in cargo tanks transportation as a driver and mechanic. Safe loading/unloading, cleaning and inspecting, as well as emergency response scenarios.   Hazmat and fire behavior in the fire service as well as emergency vehicle operations and safe driving. "It was on fire when they called you. It will be on fire when you get there." Arrive ready to work. I could also talk about firefighter behavioral  heath and the grieving process.   The real fun thing is I can do this for people who are not Truck Drivers or Fire Fighters. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Citizen Tax payers about Public Safety Education.   I love public speaking,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations to the mom and family @Ivy on the addition of another child.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...