Probably going to come out next year (?)

[Guest]

Euh hay

I kinda let a bit the community for a while cause I wanted to feel cis I guess. I just didn't want to hear anything about this and I don't know why. But anyway there is something that I thought I should do next year (scholar year as I am in high school).. There is a huge possibility that I'll come out to my teachers, to my friends, and present myself as male for people who don't know me. Well the thing is that I more want to be a guy starting next year and come out to all my friends before than I won't have to worry too much next year. (even if I'll have to tell the teachers and that I am in a boarding school so I have to stay in the "girl part" and that sucks but that's understandable). I'll also talk about it a bit more to my boyfriend who would rather not talk about it, and last time we did I didn't say a lot of thing so I just said a few things and let him do all the talking, even if what he said was wrong like saying that I chose it or that nothing will be the same. I never really had the guts to tell him all the important things. Plus he was the first person who "badly" reacted so I didn't know what to do. I guess I'll have to write it.. Then I wanted to do it at the end of this year in person with my friends but that will be hard because of the fact that I am stuck home (even if the president said we will go back to school at the end of this holidays I don't really believe it). So I guess I'll have to phone call every one or write a message (can you guys give me some tips pls?)

I know I said I'll come out to my parents now a week ago I guess but the thing is that I felt that I wasn't trans but not female so I was like WHAT AM I? and I don't know my brain was just fridged up. So I felt and I still do, that, if I can't explain it to me how can I explain it to them.. So I just gave them tips. Like saying sometimes how it sucked to be a 'girl' or sometime directly saying that I don't want to be one or that I am a boy but really low (I do that a lot for whatever reason and every time I feel nobody can hear it but apparently one of them told me that he did) so I used this. And also, like I am french the adjectives like idk Tall or white you know in a sentence are feminine and masculine like an apple is feminine and a phone is masculine for example so we put the adjectives in masculine or feminine according to the "genre" of the object. So what I now do is when I talk about me I don't use feminine adjectives anymore. My mom noticed and is trying to correct me sometimes but her face is saying that you she's wondering, my dad? I have NO idea Oo. But I still don't feel the feeling saying maybe say it now , or now. I am not even thinking about it (so please understand me I need more time).

SO! all of this just to ask XD can you guys could give me some tips Idk to come out to people like teachers, (also everything is on computer at school so they can't really mark the name Ethan on a paper next to my birth name_unless they write on the screen XD_ so do you have some indications for that?)

Sr if this is really long just to ask simple question it is just that I feel I can't talk about it who doesn't know anything about and for the discord and the messages on the forum it is a bit hard cause for me the hour I wake is when y'all go to sleep XD)

 

Happy potato day (it is not I just wanted to put potato here)

 

[Wes]

3 hours ago, Ethan da potato said:

I'll also talk about it a bit more to my boyfriend who would rather not talk about it, and last time we did I didn't say a lot of thing so I just said a few things and let him do all the talking, even if what he said was wrong like saying that I chose it or that nothing will be the same. I never really had the guts to tell him all the important things. Plus he was the first person who "badly" reacted so I didn't know what to do.

Hey Ethan. Before I came out I had been dating my ex (cis, straight man) for almost 3 years. I loved him with everything in me (and still do) but I knew it wasn't helping anyone to continue pretending and ignoring my thoughts about gender. When we first got together I told him I was genderfluid, which he didn't really understand but didn't react too badly to either. After that, we never spoke about it again until I came out. When I did tell him, it was so emotionally taxing. I knew that him being straight meant that he wouldn't want to be with me as a man. This was in November, and we still talk from time to time. He just wants to be supportive.

 

With your situation, it unfortunately seems like your boyfriend doesn't understand and doesn't really want to either. It's important to put yourself first when it comes to figuring out your identity, so I'd have to recommend ending things with him if it's hindering your personal growth. It's gonna hurt, but it's what you may need to do for yourself. In my relationship, I felt imprisoned knowing that I couldn't be with him as a man, but allowing myself to be who I truly am felt and continues to feel so wonderful.