Took another step in coming out

[SaraAW]

Thanks!  

 

Okay, so far a smashing success. I am out to my HR, my Director and over half my team, 4 more to go. Doing personalized calls with my team, as we are a tight team. I will do emails to my vendors and contractors. After that, I will just update my contact info and let it happen organically.

 

HR asked if I wanted to day a large announcement to the company or even just our HQ, where I work out of. I don't want a scene, just want to move on, so I said no. I realize it may result in more initial deadnaming, but at this point, it doesn't matter much to me. Let those who want to know more reach out and those who don't can do their own thing.

[Emily michelle]

That’s awesome that it went so well. I bet that is a weight off your shoulders.

[Astrid]

@SaraAW  -- very well done!  I like your approach and how you worked with HR to do this as you preferred.

 

With best wishes,

 

Astrid

[JoniSteph]

@SaraAW so happy and proud of the way in which you have handled every step so far of your coming out and the acceptance that you have received. It has to be a great relief after all the fretting that you have gone through leading up to this Hun, just enjoy it and take any future bumps in the road as easy. The major parts have been accomplished. All the best for you. HUGS

 

JoniSteph

[AmberM]

@SaraW That is terrific news! I am so glad it went smooth with work. I would have done the same thing and not asked for a big event to be made too. I don’t like to occupy that much space for this kind of thing, especially since you aren’t at a place where you are going to be bothered by being dead named.

[KayC]

That's great news, @SaraAW!  You've really moved forward in leaps and bounds.  So happy for you❣️

[SaraAW]

Thanks everyone! Almost done the coming out at work. Should be done completely by early next week, just waiting for some folks on my team to get back from vacation.

 

My doctor called me last night, she had some questions regarding signing as the guarantor for my name change. She said it was so easy to do, she's not even going to charge me. I can pick it up later today or tomorrow. Then it's a matter of meeting with my friend, who is able to act as the commissioner of oaths, $130 (CAD) and some postage and the name change will be official a few weeks after that.  

 

Things have been going so well, I've been waiting for the hammer to drop. It did to a degree. After I spoke with my doc, I told my wife the news and she broke down crying. She is still struggling immensely with accepting she can be married to a woman and that I am still me, just more me now. We talked for several hour, she says she feels that all the hurt and pain is experienced by her, because my transition has been going so well with really no negative reactions at all. That one hurt me a lot, as she is I guess, erasing all the days I can barely get out of bed because of how awful I feel or how I can really stand to see myself in a mirror or in a photo.  Or any of the other hurt and pain I have and continue to feel. I know she is lashing out because of the pain she is in, but dang it, it still hurts. Especially as for me, this was a happy event and for her a traumatic one.

 

On a positive parting note, I have finally convinced her that we should try therapy. We are both going to compile a list of therapists and then select one together. She does not want to use my therapist, as she feels my therapist will be biased towards me. I am okay with that, whatever will allow her to come to therapy and help her and us heal. Then I can celebrate the happy milestones with the person I love most in the world.

 

Hope you all have a wonderful day! Hugs!

[AmberM]

@SaraW I am sorry to hear you and your wife had a blow out it sounds like. That would hurt me too, being told that I am not feeling any pain like they expected. Our spouses have to go through a grieving process I feel, as they are losing their husband they thought that they had. I concur on your plan to seek couple's counseling, as that can be useful to figure out how you can work things out together.

 

I hope you have some luck in finding a therapist together that will support both you. Another thing that might be useful is also if she sees a counselor on her own possibly. That way she work through some of her things on her own, you can then come together with the couple's counseling, and you would still have your own. I know that sounds like a lot of therapy, but it might not be a bad thing. Just a thought I had.