THE BIG ONE (came out to my mom)

[JamesM]

I spent all day yesterday anxious and shaky because it felt so wrong that my mom didn't know my name. When we got my daughter to bed, I went outside and texted her to ask if she was still awake, and when she was, I told her first that before I start everyone is okay and this is good, and then that I needed to talk to her but over text because I would cry too hard, and then I told her I'm a guy. She said okay and asked if she could call me so once I calmed down a little we talked a bit. It was kind of awkward, she asked what I'm guessing will be the usual questions (how long have you known, how do you know, what does this mean) and said she just didn't really know what to say but she loves me and is there for me. She also asked what next, and I honestly don't even know the next steps, just that I had to tell her.

 

I'm scared that I'm doing this too fast. I've really only been sure for a few days but it's like it just clicked and...it's like, if I knew math, but never considered what 2+2 might be, and then finally saw 2+2= written somewhere. It just makes that much sense to me and I need to tell people. Should I be slowing down a little?

[Jani]

Good for you.  I'm sure it is a small relief to have told her.  Its okay not to know the next steps.  You'll figure it out.  

 

Hugs, Jani

[KathyLauren]

Congratulations, James!  Coming out to family can be one of the hardest things to do.  But you've done it.  Way to go!

[SaraAW]

Congrats James! Telling my parents was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. That’s a huge step and probably a weight off your shoulders, especially with her being supportive. Hugs!

[JamesM]

Thanks everyone! I still have to tell my dad (they're divorced) and while I'm sure he'll be supportive, he's also going to be super awkward about it. For example. BOTH times I told him I was pregnant his response was "OH NO" despite me being in my late 20s and married and obviously happy about it. He's an awkward dude ??

[KayC]

That's great, James.  Its a very positive first step.  I hope the next with your Dad goes just as well ❤️

 

[SaraAW]

Well, it could have been at lot worse than, "Oh no", I suppose. Let's hope you get a different, and far better, response when you talk to him. Wishing you all the best when you do. Hugs!

[Bri2020]

This is Awesome James!  I haven't built up the courage to tell my siblings or father yet (talk about an awkward close minded person). As far as the next steps or going to fast- you're heart will tell you.  I thought it would be very slow but I got far for positive responses then I thought and bam, almost completely out to everyone in my circle in a matter of weeks. Everyone's different and has different people to open up to so like I said, let your heart dictate the next steps. Congrats, I think parents are the hardest to come out to. 

[JamesM]

Laughing pretty hard about this...

 

A week ago, me coming out to my mom as a guy, my mom's like: All the time? Are you sure?

 

Tonight, calling my mom to say "so uh hey on second thought I'm actually genderfluid": Yeah that makes a lot more sense

 

Given how often her generation makes fun of mine because we don't know our gender, I'm really lucky to have a mom who understands and knows me well enough to see it before I do