Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Halp, I effed up...


Recommended Posts

So I got a 2nd part-time job... At Dominos Pizza! Im their latest and greatest delivery driver during the week. So. Where's the eff up? That kinda stems from my full time job...

During the weekend I work at a warehouse. Its 3 12-hr shifts friday thru sunday and I do not present as female when I'm there and I've more or less made peace with that for the time being. The work environment isn't suitable for wigs n makeup anyways as it is always HOT and sweaty physical labor...  3 days a week as a boy aint that bad right?  Monday thru thursday is my time to let my hair down and be me but I went and did my interview and got hired at Dominos presenting as male. Stupid! Stupid!! There's really no reason I can't look pretty while delivering pizzas but I don't know how to break it to my new employers that I'm actually a woman... Halp! my 4 girly days a week are in jeopardy! Should I just show up for work today presenting female and be like "What?" Or should I be more subtle about it and warn them in advance? Ugh....

Link to comment

First things first: find out what the laws are where you live, and whether you have any protection for gender identity.  I know it is a patchwork of laws in the U.S., so find out what your local situation is.  Are you protected in the workplace for gender identity or not?

 

If you have workplace protection, then tell your new employer before changing your presentation.  They might have transition policies in place, or you may have to guide them.

 

If you have no protection, then you are gambling.  You could be fired for transitioning on the job, with nothing you can do about it.  You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Good luck!

Link to comment

 

35 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Well isn't this just the most reasonable and conservative answer I could have hoped for!?!? Honestly my first instinct was to just throw caution to the wind and fly my pride flag straight into there... I do have protection from the law here for gender identity but having already introduced myself and set precedent as a male with my employers,  I do agree that I owe them the courtesy of talking with them about it before doing that. I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

44 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

BTW, congratulations on getting the job! ?

Thanks!!

❤️ - K

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuoraQ said:

I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

 

It depends on the company.  If there is an HR department, it might be good to start there.  They would be able to tell you about company policies, and can raise the subject with you manager.  In a smaller company, the initial approach might have to be to your manager.

 

As with any coming-out, there really is no way to do it except to come out and say it.  Make an appointment to discuss a "personal matter", and then just tell them you are transgender and want to transition on the job.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

https://biz.dominos.com/web/media/stories/lgbtq

 

So that's a good thing. With that in mind, I'd explain to my manager what happened and take it from there. After all, that's why he gets paid the big bucks.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

This is great! I'm so blown away and impressed that you took the time to go looking for this! Thank you Jackie!

 

Link to comment

Consider this case closed! Talked to management tonight and their understanding/support was enthusiastic and honestly overwhelming! My boss n trainer immediately zapped my legal name off everything they legally could and replaced it with Kora and I'm going to my next shift as myself! I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

Link to comment

Congrats Kora

that very empowering of you. It show yr strength as individual. most boss i know love that in there work force. Keep being you 

Link to comment

 

8 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

 I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*.    I'm so happy for you Kora, what a huge step and you get to be your authentic self at work.  

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Lexi C said:

Congrats Kora

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

49 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

20200730_013710.jpg

Link to comment
2 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

 

You look great! And Happy!  The price of bringing laughter in the world is sometimes painful ;).  

 

Link to comment

And don’t forget that the recent Supreme Court ruling makes it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity. That would be paramount to firing someone based on gender. 
Landmark LGBTQ+ Supreme Court case

 

Anyone would have big legal issues if they dismissed you based on gender presentation. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 40 Guests (See full list)

    • VulpineCripple
    • kira_k
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      78.1k
    • Total Posts
      735.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      10,696
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Lukey19252
    Newest Member
    Lukey19252
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dannie
      Dannie
      (63 years old)
    2. evesypeasy
      evesypeasy
      (30 years old)
    3. Katherine1745
      Katherine1745
      (70 years old)
    4. LittlestMikaelson
      LittlestMikaelson
      (24 years old)
    5. melissaharper
      melissaharper
      (28 years old)
  • Posts

    • Andy88
      Nattering nabobs of negativism negligently noisy.     
    • kira_k
      Hi, I'm really new here as well as relatively new to crossdressing and working things out, so wanted to get some things off my chest and hopefully a bit of support.   - I don't really like labels, but feel pressured to find one. I feel that it's a losing battle. I don't like the term crossdresser, which I will explain later. I don't really relate to trans or any of the other words. Sometimes I am a man who expresses themselves as one would expect, other times I'm a man who dresses like a woman, sometimes I feel like a woman who is dressed like a man and hate my body, other times I'm okay just expressing some femininity. It's all very confusing. I feel like it doesn't really matter and just accepting that I am who I am and how I feel is enough. But then how do you describe that to other people without pouring out the turmoil you feel about labels?   - It feels very lonely. I don't plan on transitioning so there are various issues such as hair (or lack of it), body shape and size etc, which makes it too obvious that I'm a man when trying to be feminine.  It feels like I have something to hide and I have no one to talk to and share things with. This isn't my whole life, it's just one part of me - I have many other interests, but it would be nice just to be able to say I bought this dress or skirt that I liked and to be proud of it and just have people talk back with the same sort of pride and interest.   - As I said, I don't really like being called a crossdresser, despite doing exactly what that denotes. The reason is probably more to do with other people. It already has a negative association, but it also doesn't help when you try and reach out to people on forums and the online community only to find a website full of creeps (So far, that's not what I've got here btw, which I'm very pleased to say). For example, I joined one forum, only to be propositioned within 2 minutes of joining and then to get a feed full of explicit photos. Regardless of sexual motivation or not, this isn't the way you approach strangers. I want to be treated with respect, and unfortunately, it seems that there are groups of people who make the term crossdresser a really depressing one. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to offend anyone. It's just that this doesn't seem like the correct way to approach people. Sexy stuff is fine, if done with respect. It so happens that it's not why I cross-dress, so maybe it's just me being sensitive. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right.   - I have started to wear a wig and it's taking some getting used to. It's on securely, it doesn't move or anything. But sometimes it feels like it's sliding off the side of my head. I go check and everything is fine. I think I just need to get used to it more. - How do people deal with hair. I'm quite a hairy person and because of swap back and forth, I don't really want to remove too much. I don't mind removing leg hair and shaving, but arms are a bit obvious. I've been told that it's not essential to pass as a woman and sometimes I fell like I don't need to, as I've said above. But I was just wondering about other people's experiences when it comes to this.   I've probably blurted out too much at once and I really do apologise if I've offended anyone, I'm honestly not trying to do that. Kira x 
    • April Marie
      Perfectly stated @Marcie Jensen.   A person doesn't just go from angry to mass murderer in a day. Someone or multiple people missed signs before he acted out. Going from considering self-harm - something many if not most of us have considered because of the tremendous external and internal pressures we experience - to murdering innocent children and adults isn't a natural progression.    As I've mentioned before, our society always defaults to looking for an easy end to problems - someone or something to blame quickly so they can "solve" the problem and move on. Complex issues get a band-aid so we can get back to Starbucks and Snapchat. If Aiden had taken a knife and killed just one person would people demand knife confiscation? Would it be less of a tragedy because only one person was murdered? Of course not. Any act of violence, whether at the hands of a transgender, cisgender, nonbinary......... any act of violence is tragic and needless. The way to stop it isn't through eliminating the means, it's through addressing the root causes - inadequate mental health care, presence of tremendous societal prejudices, inadequate family structures, lack of individual accountability for actions, lack of a societal moral compass, loss of a belief in the sanctity of life....I could go on.   And, in the end, my heart breaks for the families who are suffering today because we - our politicians and our society - shed a tear and then plaster another band-aid solution over the problem.
    • Heather Shay
      Nothing plus or minus is happening.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
      Thank you very much, lovely people! I'm definitely feeling warm and fuzzy from the replies. 🥰
    • kira_k
      Thank you everyone for the very warm welcome. I really appreciate it.    Kira
    • VickySGV
      There were SEVEN deaths in this event.  I realize only SIX of the SEVEN will be publicly mourned and honored, but still the 7th death happened and the mourning for that one too needs for all of us to join it. 
    • Marcie Jensen
      Some significant facts:   First, he was 28 years old. He was not a child, kid or anything other than an adult. We don't know his mental state as HIPAA laws prevent the public from finding out. Can we place some of the blame on his medial care provider? Maybe, but this too is a gray area and we have no details regarding his care and treatment regimen.   Second, he purchased the guns legally. They were NOT "given" to him. Additionally, the firearms were purchased in five different places, and Aiden/Audrey went through at least five and possibly seven background checks; one for each firearm purchased.   A third point, firearms are not toys and should never be referred to as such for any reason. Firearms are inanimate objects--tools--and have to be wielded by human beings. Granted, humans often use them for awful purpose. Let's make no mistake, Aiden/Audrey Hale was responsible for this regardless of mental state'   The entire situation is a tragedy for any number of reasons and media reporting has been confusing at best and downright misleading at worst. While the shooter may be considered a victim too, the real tragedy is for the children and their families. While the shooter and his family have my sympathy, I can't give him a pass because of gender dysphoria. There are tens of thousands of us in this country, we have each had our own trials and bad experiences and we have dealt with them without resorting to mass murder.   And as if all of this isn't enough, one of the TN delegation to congress is already raising a ruckus and railing against the trans community. With regard to the trans community as a whole, it's simply given the far right even more grounds to persecute us and our community such bad, and unwarranted, publicity that the cause of trans rights has had a huge setback.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      As usual, the talking heads take a tiny bit of truth and twist it.  I recall Satan quoting Scripture in the New Testament in a similar fashion.    Yeah, SSRI's can have nasty side effects.  Yeah, Christians can be (and are) targeted.  But Tucker (getting difficult to say his name with the proper consonent 🙄) making those claims in this case as mere speculation and weaving together an unfounded narrative is irresponsible and dishonest.     Until now, it has seemed like MtF trans folks have been the primary target.  If Aiden was FtM, I wonder what new facet of persecution is going to show up?  
    • Andy88
    • Pacificlife1994
      So I’m AmAB been in hormones about four or five months and people look at me more than ever.I think it’s because I’m in the androgynous phase.But recently I noticed I don’t get the weird look until I open my mouth.Talk about awkward. I think some people read me as a young feminine faced guy,and some read me as a female.The other day a young boy called me a girl at the store.Any thoughts or your own experiences/funny memories?
    • Dillon
      I'm so happy for you!
    • Andy88
      I recently went to a local body piercer for my right ear. My left ear was pierced in Europe when I was 17. My parents were thrilled. I am wearing a cute pair of onyx studs. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...