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By Orvo · Posted
So when I first even thought I could be trans, I had a terrible period of time where I kept having thoughts like "do not rush this" and "what if it isn't true and you're lying". And it was Bad. But I managed to get through that and feel like nothing is wrong and I'm pretty happy as myself. However, it was the start of the pandemic, I was stuck at home, not going anywhere and having to introduce myself as my passport name and gender. Now it's all back and worse than ever. I suddenly realise that used to be much more open-minded, completely okay and welcoming of people's Selves, but now I look at other trans people and something in me thinks "this isn't okay" and other thoughts that are straight up transphobic, like "this is actually a-" and whatever gender a character or a person was assigned at birth. I know it's not nice and I don't want to have those thoughts, which at this point manifest in a very similar manner to my other intrusive thoughts (mental health thing, basically unwanted non-conscious thoughts that i can't stop and that make me disstressed). I keep having random intrusive thoughts about people calling me by my deadname or gender and it makes me furious, yet here I am. I feel guilty and like I don't acutally belong with my own people now, but in my head I know that it isn't how I feel or what I want in this world. I feel like trying to explain myself to my mom made it significantly worse too, bc she doesn't believe me and tries to low-key infantilisingly push me into being "cis again", and that messes me up so much. I keep trying to share my thoughts with her and that only ends in her insisting she doesn't get and cannot accept the concept (of being trans), but loves Me anyway. Maybe that's where it's coming from? I live and grew up in a very transphobic place so yeah Does anyone have the same "trans but transphobic" experience? I wanted to share and ask, if anyone has a similar experience and is comfortable sharing it, how do others deal with this problem? I'm not exactly asking for an advice, it's more of a "but if you say what to do, out loud, i won't stop you" situation. I want to know how others face this and not feel like I don't belong with other trans people just because this is something I'm struggling with. I find great comfort in looking at other people's content (trans-related) and my own art and characters that are trans, and expressing my feelings throught them, but when it comes to real people and myself this stuff happens. Help..? -
By Jackie C. · Posted
Those are both lovely things to have in operational condition. They probably don't mean anything by it, they're most likely up to their eyebrows in COVID cases and they don't SEE you so they don't think to give you updates unless you call to harass them. The obvious solution is to keep harassing them. Not true, being trans is patently ridiculous. I mean yeah, it causes pain and heartbreak but honestly. The whole thing is like the universe playing a practical joke. Not a funny one, but I rarely find practical jokes funny so that tracks. Humor is a good way to fight back. My favorite was always Femme & M's. My therapist prefers anticisthamines. I mean first you need to embrace the absurdity of the situation then you can grow from that. Tom Ellis. I would totally be straight for Tom Ellis. Congratulations! Another friend of mine just had a face lift so I'd imagine similar levels of beat up. Just take your meds, follow your surgeon's instructions and don't be a hero. You'll be able to see the lovely woman the rest of us already see in no time. OT is incredibly wholesome. I strongly recommend. Hugs! -
By Cyndee · Posted
just so groovy, ground breaking in '67, sounds great today, famously fantastic guitar, the big bender to end'er ✌️ C -
By Jamie68 · Posted
Thanks. I need it right now. Feeling down. Like I'm dying a slow painful death. Hopefully the day will get better. Hope everything goes well with you, and speedy recovery. ❤️ -
By Charlize · Posted
I'd recommend the general forum or if your post relates more to the transition process in either the MTF or FTM forum. Hugs, Charlize -
By christinakristy2021 · Posted
I am wanting to know where I can post about me and my journey in gender euphoria. -
By Bri2020 · Posted
Hey everyone I will be thinking of you all over the next week or two but probably won't be online after today for a bit. TOMORROW IS FFS DAY!!!!! I'm not expecting to be able to see well enough to read for a little bit with all the swelling. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised but I've mentally prepared myself for daily life with limited vision while the swelling does it's thing. Kathy-Lauren, I hope you continue to recover. Congrats on 5 years! I can't wait to be where you are (not hospital bed ) but am enjoying the journey to get there. Liz, hang in there. I don't know any way to ease your pain and suffering right now but just know that we all care for you and are virtually supporting you. Lean on your community through these tough times. Linda Marie, keep jammin Jamie, and all the others facing relationship issues I am sending my love. Kisses and Hugs to all Bri -
By KathyLauren · Posted
Five years ago today, I applied my first estradiol patch and popped my first spiro pills. I didn’t think that five years later, I’d be in a hospital bed, but the good news is that I am 100% myself here. My transition is done, and I am accepted as Kathy everywhere I go. They have been the best five years of my life. For anyone contemplating taking that first step in transition, it feels like you are stepping out of an airplane without a parachute. But there are all kinds of lovely people who will catch you and help you. I am so glad I took those first steps, and I would never in a million years go back. -
By stveee · Posted
I think you were right the first time. It's a trans person Tweeting it, so it's kinda laughing at ourselves. If it was a TERF, it would be different. aaand it's Twitter, the more obnoxious Tweets get more attention. -
By Jamie68 · Posted
Sorry about being a downer first thing this morning. Had a bit of a rough night with my wife last night. I now have 3 subjects that I won't discuss with anyone. Politics, Religion, and now what movie star I'm attracted to. My wife, daughter-in-law and I were talking at the kitchen table when this subject came up. They both said, Jason Momoa (Aquaman). I said, Sean Connery (The actor, not the real person). It was like I dropped a stink bomb. I've told her this years ago before I came out to her as trans. She already knew I was bi-sexual, but this has a whole new meaning to her, especially after her reading about how many transwomen change their sexual preferences during transition. Needless to say, it was a long night.❤️ -
By Nimue · Posted
Hi, I am only 4 months on weekly intramuscular injections of E only, so I am not very far along in this journey. What don't they tell us, that I wish they did? I think the challenge is more the listening and taking to heart YMMV! For me, breast budding began within a week. The changes seemed so HUGE from my perspective that I felt like my transition was out of control and scary fast. I thought everyone would notice and talk about me. In reality? 🦗🦗🦗 I started going out in public female dress, even though I don't come close to passing and, 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗 Inside has been a rollercoaster of doubts, joy, fear, anticipation, dread, and acceptance. I had all of these feelings before E, but they have overall been more balanced and manageable since starting E. Is any of this undocumented? No, but until you experience your journey, you likely will not understand how you will feel about each change until you can observe it in the rearview mirror. Wishing a joyful journey to all my sisters, brothers, and siblings! Hugs, Nimue -
By DeeDee · Posted
As someone who does it, I get using dark humour as a coping mechanism, though I've only ever seen lists like those in an anti-trans context. There's a YouTuber called "One topic at a time" who looks at things like this in a light hearted and wholesome way. They usually lift my mood by the end of their videos. 🙂 -
By Jamie68 · Posted
After this sinks in for a little while, I find that it's really not funny. There's really nothing funny about being "trans". Mostly pain for us, and anyone around us. I guess some people make light of this so they don't cry. How many times have I made fun of gays and trans when I was crying about it inside. I don't like to even think about it. -
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By Jamie68 · Posted
My wife constantly getting that with her doctors. Are they all afraid that you can't take the bad news? Personally, I would rather know so I can prepare or just maybe come up with a fix.❤️
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