Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Halp, I effed up...


Recommended Posts

So I got a 2nd part-time job... At Dominos Pizza! Im their latest and greatest delivery driver during the week. So. Where's the eff up? That kinda stems from my full time job...

During the weekend I work at a warehouse. Its 3 12-hr shifts friday thru sunday and I do not present as female when I'm there and I've more or less made peace with that for the time being. The work environment isn't suitable for wigs n makeup anyways as it is always HOT and sweaty physical labor...  3 days a week as a boy aint that bad right?  Monday thru thursday is my time to let my hair down and be me but I went and did my interview and got hired at Dominos presenting as male. Stupid! Stupid!! There's really no reason I can't look pretty while delivering pizzas but I don't know how to break it to my new employers that I'm actually a woman... Halp! my 4 girly days a week are in jeopardy! Should I just show up for work today presenting female and be like "What?" Or should I be more subtle about it and warn them in advance? Ugh....

Link to comment

First things first: find out what the laws are where you live, and whether you have any protection for gender identity.  I know it is a patchwork of laws in the U.S., so find out what your local situation is.  Are you protected in the workplace for gender identity or not?

 

If you have workplace protection, then tell your new employer before changing your presentation.  They might have transition policies in place, or you may have to guide them.

 

If you have no protection, then you are gambling.  You could be fired for transitioning on the job, with nothing you can do about it.  You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Good luck!

Link to comment

 

35 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Well isn't this just the most reasonable and conservative answer I could have hoped for!?!? Honestly my first instinct was to just throw caution to the wind and fly my pride flag straight into there... I do have protection from the law here for gender identity but having already introduced myself and set precedent as a male with my employers,  I do agree that I owe them the courtesy of talking with them about it before doing that. I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

44 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

BTW, congratulations on getting the job! ?

Thanks!!

❤️ - K

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuoraQ said:

I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

 

It depends on the company.  If there is an HR department, it might be good to start there.  They would be able to tell you about company policies, and can raise the subject with you manager.  In a smaller company, the initial approach might have to be to your manager.

 

As with any coming-out, there really is no way to do it except to come out and say it.  Make an appointment to discuss a "personal matter", and then just tell them you are transgender and want to transition on the job.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

https://biz.dominos.com/web/media/stories/lgbtq

 

So that's a good thing. With that in mind, I'd explain to my manager what happened and take it from there. After all, that's why he gets paid the big bucks.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

This is great! I'm so blown away and impressed that you took the time to go looking for this! Thank you Jackie!

 

Link to comment

Consider this case closed! Talked to management tonight and their understanding/support was enthusiastic and honestly overwhelming! My boss n trainer immediately zapped my legal name off everything they legally could and replaced it with Kora and I'm going to my next shift as myself! I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

Link to comment

Congrats Kora

that very empowering of you. It show yr strength as individual. most boss i know love that in there work force. Keep being you 

Link to comment

 

8 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

 I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*.    I'm so happy for you Kora, what a huge step and you get to be your authentic self at work.  

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Lexi C said:

Congrats Kora

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

49 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

20200730_013710.jpg

Link to comment
2 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

 

You look great! And Happy!  The price of bringing laughter in the world is sometimes painful ;).  

 

Link to comment

And don’t forget that the recent Supreme Court ruling makes it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity. That would be paramount to firing someone based on gender. 
Landmark LGBTQ+ Supreme Court case

 

Anyone would have big legal issues if they dismissed you based on gender presentation. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 38 Guests (See full list)

    • Heather Shay
    • Vidanjali
    • NashySlashy
    • MaryEllen
    • Cyndee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      76.7k
    • Total Posts
      720k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      9,610
    • Most Online
      8,356

    YellowLizardGuy
    Newest Member
    YellowLizardGuy
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Estevan
      Estevan
      (16 years old)
    2. Julielynn
      Julielynn
      (51 years old)
    3. lewlew
      lewlew
      (28 years old)
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
      kind of in a Zep mood.....  
    • KymmieL
      I would highly encourage anyone going to VA or even considering going to the VA to go. While like @Jandi has said. it isn't perfect but nothing in this world is.    The VA has really embraced the LGBT community. When I go to the Cheyenne VA I feel accepted and cared for. It is a safe place for us. Those looking to start transition. Talk to your primary provider or mental health provider. That is what I did. I actually wrote a letter. I was just about done with my session with her. When she asked is there anything else you want to talk about. I gave her the letter.    Wound up talking for another hour, she even called one of the gender specialists to come visit with me. That got the whole ball rolling. Only regret I have is not doing it sooner.    Kymmie
    • NashySlashy
      Same!!   I enjoy the empowerment that comes from being trans, but I can't be open about it. Everyone still refers to me as my birth pronouns because they don't really understand. My family is very conservative, so they wouldn't get it. My husband's family is a bit more liberal, but they refuse to really...correct any of their behaviors. My sibling-in-law is genderfluid and they (the family) still refers to them by the wrong pronouns and even deadnames them. I told my husband that I was questioning my gender a while back, and he still refers to me as "wife" when talking about me to others.   It's a mess lol.
    • Jandi
      Some of us fight it far longer than that. But realizing who we are is a tremendous relief.
    • Rosie.
      Aside from living authentically, I’ve overcome a lot of fear I’ve had broiling in my gut for a long time. Coming out as a professional in a highly conservative area, was absolutely terrifying. But I’ve managed to survive! Being trans is a gift in many ways.    Hoping you’re filled with trans joy!    *hugs*   Rosie
    • Charlize
      Thank you for sharing that Vicky.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Charlize
      As a person in recovery in AA i have found that Christianity has never been forced down my throat.  It was suggested that i find a higher power.  I'm still in looking 15 years later but that search never took me to Christianity. It has helped me accept\, know and love myself and others.   Some may well take the path of Christianity  but there is certainly no requirement to do so. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking"   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Marcie Jensen
      There's an urban myth connected with this that Adams' last words were "Jefferson still survives. The republic is safe." His actual last words were "At least Jefferson still lives." He was mistaken as Jefferson died five hours earlier.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      "You don't need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections."
    • Heather Shay
      The 50 star U.S. flag was designed by a man in Lancaster, Ohio   Americans eat 150 million hotdogs on The 4th of July.   There is something written on the back of the Declaration of Independence (it was written on parchment that had been written on earlier during the Revolutionary War.   Both Thomas Jefferson and John Adams died on the 50th anniversity of the the Declaration.
    • NashySlashy
      I know this is an old post, but it really resonated with me. I'm 29 and didn't realize I was trans until a week ago.   The dysphoria has always been there (bottom dysphoria, in particular). I also hate my chest...but I don't know if that's more related to trauma than dysphoria. Possibly both? This is all still very new to me. And I guess that's where my barriers lie. Self-doubt. I'm never sure of myself. But what makes me sure of this is the fact that I feel empowered by the realization. I feel like a new man...because that's precisely what I am. Once I can start presenting as such without judgement, then I'll be much better off.
    • Hannah Renee
      @Elizabeth StarI had to go in person (which I preferred anyway) since that e-file system is so convoluted. Being in a small county helped that process.   I'm sorry you're having to go through all this stress. I also know that you are a woman of strength, and you will get through this.   Hugs 
    • Jaycie
      Thank you so much!!
    • NashySlashy
      Good morning, everyone.   I didn't sleep too hot last night (nightmares galore!). And my husband has me worried because he's panicking over the Supreme Court ruling and is having conversations with his parents that don't involve me at all...even though I'm the subject of the conversation. It's making me a little uneasy. I know he's worried and doesn't want me to worry, but he doesn't realize that by not including me in the conversation, it's making me worry. I tried telling him that and he just changed the subject.     I'm so sorry you're going through that, Elizabeth. As someone with CPTSD, I can certainly relate to having automatic trauma responses. You are doing the right thing by seeking treatment. I wish you the best of luck! ❤️
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...