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Halp, I effed up...


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So I got a 2nd part-time job... At Dominos Pizza! Im their latest and greatest delivery driver during the week. So. Where's the eff up? That kinda stems from my full time job...

During the weekend I work at a warehouse. Its 3 12-hr shifts friday thru sunday and I do not present as female when I'm there and I've more or less made peace with that for the time being. The work environment isn't suitable for wigs n makeup anyways as it is always HOT and sweaty physical labor...  3 days a week as a boy aint that bad right?  Monday thru thursday is my time to let my hair down and be me but I went and did my interview and got hired at Dominos presenting as male. Stupid! Stupid!! There's really no reason I can't look pretty while delivering pizzas but I don't know how to break it to my new employers that I'm actually a woman... Halp! my 4 girly days a week are in jeopardy! Should I just show up for work today presenting female and be like "What?" Or should I be more subtle about it and warn them in advance? Ugh....

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  • Forum Moderator

First things first: find out what the laws are where you live, and whether you have any protection for gender identity.  I know it is a patchwork of laws in the U.S., so find out what your local situation is.  Are you protected in the workplace for gender identity or not?

 

If you have workplace protection, then tell your new employer before changing your presentation.  They might have transition policies in place, or you may have to guide them.

 

If you have no protection, then you are gambling.  You could be fired for transitioning on the job, with nothing you can do about it.  You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Good luck!

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BTW, congratulations on getting the job! ?

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35 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Well isn't this just the most reasonable and conservative answer I could have hoped for!?!? Honestly my first instinct was to just throw caution to the wind and fly my pride flag straight into there... I do have protection from the law here for gender identity but having already introduced myself and set precedent as a male with my employers,  I do agree that I owe them the courtesy of talking with them about it before doing that. I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

44 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

BTW, congratulations on getting the job! ?

Thanks!!

❤️ - K

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1 hour ago, QuoraQ said:

I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

 

It depends on the company.  If there is an HR department, it might be good to start there.  They would be able to tell you about company policies, and can raise the subject with you manager.  In a smaller company, the initial approach might have to be to your manager.

 

As with any coming-out, there really is no way to do it except to come out and say it.  Make an appointment to discuss a "personal matter", and then just tell them you are transgender and want to transition on the job.

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Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

https://biz.dominos.com/web/media/stories/lgbtq

 

So that's a good thing. With that in mind, I'd explain to my manager what happened and take it from there. After all, that's why he gets paid the big bucks.

 

Hugs!

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5 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

This is great! I'm so blown away and impressed that you took the time to go looking for this! Thank you Jackie!

 

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Consider this case closed! Talked to management tonight and their understanding/support was enthusiastic and honestly overwhelming! My boss n trainer immediately zapped my legal name off everything they legally could and replaced it with Kora and I'm going to my next shift as myself! I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

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Congrats Kora

that very empowering of you. It show yr strength as individual. most boss i know love that in there work force. Keep being you 

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8 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

 I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*.    I'm so happy for you Kora, what a huge step and you get to be your authentic self at work.  

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5 hours ago, Lexi C said:

Congrats Kora

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

49 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

20200730_013710.jpg

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Woo-hoo!  Congratulations, Kora!

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2 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

 

You look great! And Happy!  The price of bringing laughter in the world is sometimes painful ;).  

 

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And don’t forget that the recent Supreme Court ruling makes it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity. That would be paramount to firing someone based on gender. 
Landmark LGBTQ+ Supreme Court case

 

Anyone would have big legal issues if they dismissed you based on gender presentation. 

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