I Apologize, Really I Do.

[Sally]

Zero FAT!

Zabrak, you poor child, it sounds like they don't have chicken fried steaks in your area!

I'll see if we can spare a few and ship them to you - they cured my thinness!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jackson]

Kyle, a deep breath.

Let me tell you about my younger brother. He was a scrawny kid in high school. A guy seriously doesn't start to really bulk out and fully matures until he gets into the mid to late twenties. I seriously wouldn't worry how I looked if it meant overheating.

As for a problem child? Whatever. You are not a problem child.

[Guest Crossroads]

Zabrak, I think you're one of the coolest people I know (even off the internet).

I used to be underweight. I found myself struggling to get to 107 lbs, and I'm 5' 10''. I was called anorexic through highschool and college. It's tough and I'm sure it isn't helping with stuff! I tried everything, but couldn't gain it. Just 6 months before starting T, I was only 117 lbs and unable to budge that.

I'm going to send you a PM with some more info.

Stay cool.

[Guest Evan_J]

A couple of things you need to think about:

Sleep -Sleep really is critical for how much/adjusting the amount of anxiety you experience. I have anxiety. In time periods where I don't get enough sleep or it gets irratic my anxiety excellerates. That in the end means more instances of "wierd moods" that can become irratic and "fatalistic"; thoughts like "things will never improve", "there's no way I fix this problem", "its just no use" can become more likely, simultaneously I'm less likely to be able to think clearly and see the solutions to actually "average" problems. I also tend to have "sleep problems". -Its unusual for me to sleep more than a couple of hours at a time (mercifully T alleviated that some) but it can easily become a "vicious cycle" in that the anxiety feeds off the lack of sleep and yet almost "encourages " the lack of sleep.

I gotta tell you, (and you're gonna hate me ) I have on more than one occassion noted that you like to drink a LOT of coffee/ tea/ caffeine things. They are exacerbating both your sleep issues and thus your anxiety issues. How hard is it to let it go? Well, best to say "its not easy", however it can be done. I stopped with the coffee and tea in the 90's. I finally let the Coca Cola go about 2 years (year and a half?) ago . I thought I would "just die" without the taste. But you know what? I feel better.

There are some foods you can eat that will tend to make you feel drowsier than others - a thing that can be helpful if you eat them within hours of the time you'd like to sleep- among them are several carbohydrate items; potato dishes, frozen waffles, bagels amongst them. And coincidentally, since you're wantin to put on some pounds, eating these things -particularly close to bedtime- might help you add them.

A shift in diet then might alleviete (may not "cure" but at least can make it better ) some of what's ailing you ; both mentally and physically.

[Guest Stuv]

Thanks, everyone.

[Guest Zabrak]

Thanks cross and jack! I made it to my Endocrinologist today...she must of thought I was drunk lol because I was so tired by the time I got up there. I always am - I'm lucky she doesn't remember who I am each time I go. Well, beside what my medical papers say. She fixed my T dose now so I wont have 'down times' between shots anymore. They where really getting to me.

@Evan:

it can easily become a "vicious cycle" in that the anxiety feeds off the lack of sleep and yet almost "encourages " the lack of sleep

I get paranoid at night IF I've had a lack of sleep for awhile. Which makes me paranoid to sleep, which just leads to even more paranoia and even more lack of sleep.

The only thing that really helps is human contact(even over the net) from someone I like. But I can't always get a hold of people. Not everyones up when I am. lol

I have on more than one occassion noted that you like to drink a LOT of coffee/ tea/ caffeine things. They are exacerbating both your sleep issues and thus your anxiety issues. How hard is it to let it go? Well, best to say "its not easy", however it can be done. I stopped with the coffee and tea in the 90's. I finally let the Coca Cola go about 2 years (year and a half?) ago . I thought I would "just die" without the taste. But you know what? I feel better.

I'm addicted to coffee and sugar as comfort food. It calms me down and makes me happy, but it also keeps me awake. Which doesn't bother me all that much. I couldn't sleep before - whats another coffee? Another few hours of sleeplessness which I'd most likely get even off of coffee.

Also, if I don't drink at lest one coffee a day I get a huge headache. All the pain killers in the world can't stop this massive headache that I get. And it seems to last forever and ever till I give into the pain and just drink a cup of coffee. On top of the headache I also get nauseous, and can't eat/drink anything else without feeling even more sick.

[Guest Eth]

Hey Zabrak- just saw this, so sorry I'm only just now posting >_<

I think all of us have a lot to deal with in life. Some of us more than others. Some need to talk more about their issues while others don't need to talk as much. But no matter what life throws at us, I know we're all welcome to talk about it here, aren't we? Everyone here seems to be loving, caring and supportive of all our family here at Laura's, and I don't think that anyone would have a problem with helping a family member in need.

When you have troubles, you shouldn't be worried or shy about telling us. As you can see from all the responses here, there are tons of us who will answer you no matter what your problem is or how often you post. If you have lots of problems, then that means you need a lot of support! So of course we'll provide that for you.

As for the coffee and sugar thing though, I think you should talk to a doctor about that to find out what's going on. An addiction to anything can't be good, especially if it gives you headaches when you don't have it. Whatever the issue is, a doctor can probably help you figure it out. It'll be good for your health to know what it is and deal with it, so you really should get it checked out.

Do keep us updated on everything, Zab. As I said above, we'll all be here to offer our advice and support, so don't be afraid to post about anything that's bothering you. It's really not good to keep things locked away or bottled up, and there is no reason not to talk to us, so just don't worry about how many posts it takes and let us know what's going on. We all care about you and want to make sure you're doing well, so we'd all probably really like it if you did tell us.

Good luck with everything Zabrak; I hope all turns out well for you.

-Eth

[Guest Evan_J]

Also, if I don't drink at lest one coffee a day I get a huge headache. All the pain killers in the world can't stop this massive headache that I get. And it seems to last forever and ever till I give into the pain and just drink a cup of coffee. On top of the headache I also get nauseous, and can't eat/drink anything else without feeling even more sick.

That's called "withdrawal".

Eth hit it on the head, as much as people "say" it, very seldom is the addiction of caffeine taken even remotely seriously. People "bah" at the physical effects that it produces. There was a time when I was a teenager that I couldn't wake up and drink ANYthing but Pepsi,. God help me if I had water as the first beverage of the day, I would puke all over. "I need it to settle my stomach" was the creed. Later, when I switched to Coke, same deal "I get terrible headaches if I don't have at least one every so often". And let me tell you, 24cans of Coke were hard pressed to last me a full week with only me drinkin em. But I'm not gonna lecture You're a big boy. I know that you know and that's enough. The rest is your decision.

Other stuff that might help you cool out: those "hoakey", new age cd's; ones like "rainfall in the forest" or whatever they're called. Put one on, kinda lower the volume, lie down, and zone out. You just might fall asleep.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Zab

I was addicted to coffee - BIG TIME, with headaches when I tried to cut back. Trick - use a little cream or milk in it (real milk, not that nasty powder) and slowly keep adding more and more each time untill it's about half. [Cafe' A' let - New Orleans style - uses warm frothy milk) This weans you off the stuff. You can either quit or hold your intake down to about two cups - MAX a day - and 8 oz cups - not those mega things!

Watch the sugar in the coffee. Also watch general sugar intake. When ya get a sugar craving, eat fruit. It won't appeal to you at first, but then it gets really good tasting.

And here I am - up at 3:00 AM and posting - telling you to get more sleep - yikes!

Love ya - ya skinny runt (some day you are gonna be fat and remember when... ha!)

[Sally]

Lizzy,

You're a good one for advice on sleeping, myself I have almost eleminated caffine from my diet, I didn't even have iced tea with my mexican dinner last night - water is free in most restaurants.

I have been sleeping a more regular pattern for the last couple of weeks because of that change alone - I haven't cut out sugar, but I'm backing it down as well.

It really does work.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Zab, I cut back my caffeine by switching to tea. It doesn't take a whole lot of caffeine to keep the headaches away. Ask me about my energy drink addiction of 2004....

Signed,

A Caffeine Junky

[Guest Zabrak]

Wow, thanks for all the tips and support everyone.

(rather then the little runt part )

I'll try to cut back on coffee...maybe I'll start with one a day, more cream each time, exc. I wont cut out sugar well I cut out coffee or I just might go crazy. One addiction at a time.

As for CDs, those do help, I use to use a online one till they said "HAND OVER THE MONEY BUDDY" lol. So I'll unlazy myself at some point to find a free one.

[Guest MrAwesome]

Zab, you can't eat 3000 calories one day, and 200 another. You gotta Eat a bunch every day. o.o my uncle also has a problem he has a really good metabolism and he can eat a ton of food and not gain weight. Be eventually after working at it was able to put on some extra pounds, and I have another friend on the internet, she used to have an eating disorder, her body could barely tolerate food.

I think you should see a dietitian, cause I don't have the training to tell you what to do.

I think for one thing since you're going out sweating and stuff you're losing water weight. Then you're also if you're working out burning calories.

Then you are young and skinny and healthy and have a metabolism that I'm jealous of...

Also, Not only should you be getting Meats fats and proteins, But Carbs. Bread, pasta, cereal etc. Bread is a good way to get some meat on ya'... bread and pasta! get a family sized thing of boxed pasta (Pasta roni) over a 1000 calories a box! (That's how I got so dang FAT! >_<

[Guest April63]

Seriously, I feel like the problem 'child' 'person' 'guy' (cant think of a better term to use) of Laura's Playground. I start to worry that people might think I post for attention but its not that. Its that I have problems, and lots of them. But I can't convince everyone that so I know I most likely will just come off as a bad person. No matter what I do, how I word it. I just feel like this new topic is pushing my 'ok' line. I know a mod shouldn't post things like this. Everyone has the right to ask as many things as they need too. So do I but...I feel like I should have a limit, or banned from posting topics or something.

I've never thought that you post for attention or anything like that. You're not the problem child or trouble maker.

[Guest bronx]

Sorry it took me a minute to post, Ive been a little busy. Anyway I was the same way as you, all skinny. I could eat what ever I wanted wouldn't gain an ounce. Then I turned 30, Now I still don't gain weight fast but I do have to watch it some times. I love cupcakes. If you're in NYC try out the marble cupcake from Dean&Delucas costs about 6 dollars but worth it! I love food! So I also have really skinny legs but I really don't care, but I think what evertyone said was totally one point. Don't stress so much and try and relax you're a godd guy my man.

[Guest Zabrak]

@Lewis

Good tips - that makes a lot of sense. Thanks!

@April

Thanks April. You're so nice.

@bronx

You have skinny legs too? Wow. We can show off our "bird legs" as Lizzy put it, together! lol

Thanks for the post, bronx. I'll keep the cupcake thing in mind. My boyfriend is the American born guy, so I'm sure he knows some good places.

[Guest Stuv]

The heaviest I ever got, I got in NYC. Pasta Carbonara every day, desk job.. I still haven't lost all that weight! Thanks for the recommendation bronx

Really I wish I could just trade a few dozen useless pounds on me over to zab, that'd be easiest!

[xanyx]

Well first off there're plenty of not just skinny but even very girly guys... they're guys, no matter what. The club where I dance at everyone's like that, emo, skaters, scene boys... I look like a macho man there lol with few muscles I have, and I'm very skinny.

How do you work out? You do go for extremely low reps/high weight? (like 3-5 reps per set to failure). That's what u need to gain muscle. Also do you follow workout by a protein shake, immediately? Do you eat enough (healthy) fats and give your body enough total rest between workouts? Also, intense cardio burns off the muscles.. in case you do it.

You can get a ripped look actually without much muscle mass.

You can wear big long shorts.. you won't overheat and in combination with unshaven legs it'll be guys legs look.

Big t-shirts, guy sneakers. I mean it's not like most dudes walk around in mini-shorts and open tops in the hottest summer...

[Guest My_Genesis]

i havent read past the 1st page of this thread so sorry if im a bit late lol....but do you think maybe you have Reverse SAD? like getting depression/anxiety during the summertime? I think I have some of that, summertime is not a happy time for me. lol. i was diagnosed with GAD when i was like 8 although i dont know how relevant that diagnosis is anymore...but i do still get anxiety attacks every now and then (but i have meds now as a preventive for them so ive been better). but a lot of what you just said sounds relatable. i was hospitalized for anorexia when i was 11 going on 12, caused by extreme anxiety that caused me to feel sick and completely lose my appetite. so i can understand a lot of what your'e going through.

also one of my bioguy friends is about 5'9-10" and weighs 120 pounds, he tells me he ate a LOT when he was younger but now has almost no appetite. and i dunno other than that hes perfectly healthy. i would go with those whey/protein drinks. theyre probably also good for nerves, at least when im hungry i tend to be a bit on the high-strung side. and also muscle build-up

also i think guys just burn through calories faster, so if you're on T....i would think that might affect your metabolism.

oh and you're not the problem-child or whatever. if thats anyone its me, i constantly post about trivial things im worried about and get hung up in gender stereotypes, im not very diplomatic or PC and im always really concerned something i say might be offensive to someone because i do that a lot in RL

[Guest Zabrak]

@xanyx

Thanks!

@My_Genesis

120 pounds? Now that makes me feel better. Although I'm not sure if thats a good thing or not LOL.

I've been better lately and not caring about my arms anymore. I've been looking at guys arms as they pass - weird I know - and I see a lot of them have the same veins as I do on my arms.

Summer time always makes me feel bad, and sick, so I'm not sure. I really prefer the rain and snow. Or just dark days are nice.

Haha...I don't think you're a problem child either. People should be able to post as much as they need too as long as its not the same thread over and over(spam).

[Guest Evan_J]

Wait, do you mean those big "clothes line" type viens that stand up on your forearm? Cuz if those are the one's you're tryin to get rid of.....

Maaan do you know how hard I've been tryin to get those? Those are "man viens". I been longin for those for months I think the smooth unviened arm is a "girly arm". I think I've looked at every mechanism designed for the exercising of arms and hands tryin to get those.

[Guest Zabrak]

I have veins coming up from my hand till a little over my elbow. They look like blue/purple clothing lines.

I noticed since I started T the veins got worse(thus why I researched them, I was worried) yet I don't seem to have any weight gain. Maybe just my muscles are tougher? God knows, this T stuff is strange, magical and great all at the same time!

Oh and, thanks for the comment Evan. It cheered me up. I have...Man arms?

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I have veins coming up from my hand till a little over my elbow. They look like blue/purple clothing lines.

I noticed since I started T the veins got worse(thus why I researched them, I was worried) yet I don't seem to have any weight gain. Maybe just my muscles are tougher? God knows, this T stuff is strange, magical and great all at the same time!

Oh and, thanks for the comment Evan. It cheered me up. I have...Man arms?

Dude... You SO don't want to get rid of the veins. Those of us with a little extra chub are having a hard time getting those. The ones on my hands stand out. After I lift weights the vein stands out a little more...so I can see it under the skin. That's about it.

Don't worry about the veins!

If you ever need the super, secret formula for weight gain, ask me. Judging by my waistline, I have it totally figured out.

Your portly bud,

Ainsley

[Guest My_Genesis]

I have a long vein running down my right arm...not sure about the left, as i never really examined this before and it's a bit too dark. but cant see anything there at the moment. lol, my sister always says i have "man arms." when i came home for winter break the first thing she said when she saw me "haha you still have your man-arms!" lol....

yeah, lol im not sure if its a good thing either he said on the bmi scale its "almost anorexic range", he also has a poor appetite and actually told me recently "i sold my libido for $10". he was telling me he has like no sex drive for a 19y.o. guy.

i was ready to tell him i wouldnt mind sharing mine...

hes just very thin and lanky, ive always been kinda like that too, though not to such an extreme (and ive always had a pretty big appetite.) unless is summertime, my appetite tends to go bad in hot weather...

yeah, darkness, rain and snow FTW!