The Feared Coming Out

[Guest Dutchie]

Before I start, our son (well technically he's not mine, but I don't care, since I love him as if he was my own son) is on the border of autistic. He has several significant symptoms and spends most of his time in his own universe.

So, here I am, getting more and more resembling a female over time, physically as well as in clothing and I had noticed that our son was staring at my breasts regularly. Sometimes during playing he seemed to aim for one of them to "feel" if they are real, I guess.

It's all guessing, since he's difficult in expressing anything close and personal.

Two nights ago, we were having dinner and sure enough I saw him staring from the corner of my eyes, after dinner we played a little and he obviously went for my breasts again. This time he also went for his mother after a while when he felt it was getting awkward. So later when we came to him to say goodnight I started "THE TALK"....

Maybe it isn't the best approach, but for me it's as good as any...

I started with asking him about his behaviour, to which I didn't expect an honest answer anyway, but the opening was there. I explained to him about the changes I have been through and mentioned the things he must have noticed. He's quite intelligent, but at age 10 you can't expect too much. Then we discussed a bit about the differences between men and women and what it means for me. Then I explained that I have a female mind, while I was born with a male body. I made a step into his world and compared myself to the Transformers, with the exception that I can do it only once. He immediately replied that I wasn't like a transformer at all, because I'm not an alien!

We went on joking a bit about that, and then he started asking things like "will you be wearing a dress?", "will you be using lipstick and make-up?", so I responded honestly to these questions and explained as much as I could within in his limited (after all, he's 10) view of the world.

Then he came up with the remark that I'm homosexual, since I love his mother. Of course I agreed and found it rather funny that he didn't say the same about his mother. I didn't push him about it.

I finalized it a bit with the explanation about how people will see me, and might be saying "bad" or hurting things about or to me or one of our family. He didn't seem really bothered about that, and we discussed who knew and didn't have a problem with it and who do or might. We also discussed discretion and he seems to understand quite well what the problem is.

I concluded with the question what he thought of all this and his reply would be best translated as "I love it...... Awesome!!!!"

When I wished him goodnight, he finished every sentence with "madame"...

I was as happy as a bunny in a carrot field! This was one of the most feared moments, yet it went so incredibly well!

A very happy Dutchie went to see her partner, who was relieved to hear that it went so well. To be sure (some things do get lost in translation here) she went to see him and check if he was ok. He was fine, of course, as expected.

So the list of people keeps growing. In a way I feel a bit guilty about coming out to him so late, since he had already saw me daily in my regular clothing. Since I'm not really into dresses and skirts, except for when the occasion asks for it, he hadn't really made the connection yet. Apparently nail polish and such isn't solely for women, for him, which is great. That's the kind of message we're hoping to get across. He doesn't like it for himself, it's too girlish, he says.

Our daughter is only 3, she calls me by both genders, depending on the situation. One moment she counts me as one of the girls in the house, at other moments I'm one of the guys... Oh well, things could be a lot worse...

[Guest Treasa]

It's great that he took it so well!

Nice job!

Treasa

[Guest Donna Jean]

Dutchie.....

That was very moving, Honey.....

Oh my....the young...how innocent....how adaptable ...like a sapling in the wind, able to spring back from the biggest blow...

You handled that so beautifully....and the outcome was wonderful.....

I'm very happy for you.....

Love

Donna Jean

[Guest angie]

Dutchie,

My oldest was so worried about what her oldest would think about his PaPa

becoming a girl that she wouldn't bring him over unless I was dressed plain jane.

I.E. no makeup or polish no dresses or heels.Isn't much I can do about the girls

though.One day she called me to say they were on their way over right now.

I was in full girly girl mode,breasts prominently displayed in a tight dress,with full

makeup,nails,fingers and toes,a crimson red and in 5"spike heels,all the accessories.

When they came in,he gave me a funny look,then sat down next to me and started

talking like me being a girl was as normal as rain.He would alternately look at my

dress,my nails,my breasts and my hair.Which is a deep auburn with bangs.Never

missing a beat,just chattering away,wondering why I am not around much these days.

I just told him,"Tell your momma babyboy."So all her worry about how he would handle

the change was in her mind,not his.Kids just love us,it doesn't matter how we come,as

long as we love them back and know we are going to be around.

Hugs,

Angie

[Guest Donna Jean]

Angie.....

That was wonderful.....

Such a great outcome and all because..........

Kids just love us,it doesn't matter how we come,as

long as we love them back and know we are going to be around.

What a lucky girl you are, Sweetheart!

Love...

Donna Jean

[Guest nova]

I'm glad you shared that, Dutchie! I think you handled that beautifully. And I think children can think more clearly than I can!

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Wow Dutchie! I 'm very impressed with the way you came out to your son. You did it so well and came into his world so he would understand better.

Hugs,

Suzie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

WOW

Some good in your life!

Lizzy

[Sally]

That is wonderful, now you have a great son who loves you just for you.

Children understand more than we give them credit for and are more likely to forgive than adults when offended.

It is true what they say - "You must be carefully taught to hate."

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Isabella]

wow, ty for sharing that amazing experience! i am speechless & in tears