Work: Informed My Manager

[Guest Dutchie]

Hi everyone,

I didn't want to hijack the thread on coming out at work in the general discussions, so I post my experiences here.

First of all, for those who don't know, I'm on HRT since September last year. In conjunction with my therapist, we decided it would be a safe and wise option not to do a shock coming out, but a gradual one. So, from the moment I went on HRT I gradually changed my style to accommodate the changes. I have never liked the suit & tie environments and where I work there is a very casual dress code. The last time I wore a suit (with tie) was in 2001 for a formal occasion I couldn't avoid. I never attended any job interviews wearing one and never will. Anyhow, I'm out, except at the workplace.

So yesterday I asked my manager if we could have half an hour for discussing some things. Mind you, my manager is a very nice, gentle and honest guy. I was not prepared for his reaction though, I feared the worst.

We sat down and I started off with telling him about the gradual changes in styles I have been through and had mixed it with explanations about gender issues and all that. He took it really well and together we planned the next steps. Which will be, a discussion with the manager of the outsourcing company I work for, next informing my direct colleagues, and informing the local HR and the outsourcing HR, and gradually build up that oh-so important pyramid.

I'm very glad he took it so well, he even explained that he understood the problems a bit since his brother is gay and divorced his wife a couple of years ago. I'm sure that if he had any problems with the situation he would have told me. He's not someone saying one thing in your face and another thing behind your back.

Let's just hope the rest will go as good as this one.

A very happy Dutchie

[Guest Donna Jean]

OMG, Dutchie!

That is wonderful!

That's the thing that I fear the very most now.......

Everything is going well.....just that....

But, Now you are working your way up the chain and the acceptance is amazing, isn't it?

This is really a banner day for you!

So, let me be the first to say "Congratulations, Sweetheart!"

Now you're getting somewhere...

let us know just how the rest of it goes.....OK?

Your girlfriend...

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dear Dutchie!!

Very, Very good news!! I am so glad that coming out at work went to well for you!!!

I am sure that the rest will work out for you as well!!!

Love

bernii

[Guest Treasa]

That's great news! I can certainly understand your relief!

[Guest Dutchie]

Hi everyone,

Part 2...

Thank you all for sharing in my happiness of the moments! (Darn, that sounds grammatically awful!)

I was supposed to have the meeting with my outsourcing manager yesterday, but he asked me to postpone it for a day. I had not specified what the meeting was going about and when we sat down with a coffee and started discussing the situation he started to laugh. He thought that I was planning on leaving the company and got worried.

When it became clear to him what I was explaining, he immediately changed his attitude and was all warm and welcoming. Wow!

To be honest, I don't know why others in France seem to experience so much negativity from employers, but I'm guessing that it's due to the shocking effect and how confident you are/seem when you're talking to management. The things that are important to them are money and stability. I already had mentioned that the on-site manager didn't see any problems (my performance had actually increased in the last months), so the client is happy and continues to pay for my services and the rest of the team we'll have to see. I'm suspecting some people are already aware, since there are a few who say "good morning, girls" when they come near my colleague and me. (A French habit is to walk through the majority of the office in the morning, to say hello and wishing them a good day). It will just make my coming out even more easy.

He even wants to help with communicating everything to the HR and such within the company that "sells" my services. (It's a more 'civilized' form of prostitution really). He'll wait for my "go", so I can make sure my colleagues know first and don't find out through the gossip channel.

Next up, my colleagues, I'm not sure how to do that exactly, but I'm having some ideas.

So in all, another positive experience to add to my growing list!

A very happy Dutchie

[Guest jantonio]

Congratulations Dutchie I am glad everything is working well for you in your coming out process.

Jose...

[Guest Eth]

Awesome! Congratulations!

[Guest Treasa]

Congratulations! These happy outcomes are beginning to become habitual for you!

--Treasa

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Great to hear.. hope things continue to go well for you

Have to tell my manager about my RLE this afternoon, she knows I am trans and is supportive but....... (giggles nervously)