Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

How did HRT change your sense of you?


Heather Shay

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

For me the anziety, panic, depression, all that left me. I never felt as good in my life nor do I ever want to go back. Thank God my dysphoria wasn't as great as it could have been or else I'd never have made it to making this post. Having a long term marriage and living in a community where my old self is well known has made full transition difficult but it's worth it because I've never felt this good on the inside EVER.

Link to comment

Hey Heather Shay I have been on HRT now for 3 months and the changes have been already huge. I am able to stay focused and I am not getting angry when interrupted like I used to. Also the constant buzzing or white noise in my head has faded out which allows me to be more relaxed and I am for the first time starting to enjoy life. Like you my dysphoria was never debilitating but it sure was there. Finding myself single before I decided to transition has made some thing easier but as far as my job only HR and my immediate supervisor know but I am have to float between my self and the male side at work, and I am starting to get impatient and want to just present as myself but I also no I have to take it one step at a time.

 

Hugs

Billie. 

Link to comment

For me, the changes have been a combination of physical and mental. I've been on HRT a little over 11 months now, estradiol along with duotestaride (sp?), and the physical changes include developing noticeable curves and breasts, softer and clearerskin along with much less body hair; especially my beard which is pretty much gone now. (I did have both laser and electrolysis done, but when I started HRT I had to shave twice a day.)

 

Mentally, the changes include some pretty acute mood swings, but those have tapered off, much more patience and far less anger, as well being calmer and much more able to express my emotions. 

 

Finally, the physical changes seem to have accelerated over the last three months.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

The biggest change was that I no longer have to keep checking to see if I am staying in character.  In the before-time, it was like I was in a play, and I had to keep checking with the director to make sure I was following the script.  Now, I just get to be myself and not worry about it.  I can relax!

 

Like @Heather Shay, I am married and living in a community where my old self was well known.  However, people here are accepting (or at least tolerant), so being me is way easier than being that other guy.  And that makes me joyful.  I never felt joy before.  People said, "Follow your joy", and I was like, "Huh??  What's that?"  Now, I have some joy, and I love it.

Link to comment

I get it about the joy. Before HRT I had neither joy nor happiness. Certainly, I had joyful moments--when my daughters were born for example--but I never had any permanent sense of joy or happiness that I can recall. Now I do. And, there is a difference between joy and happiness.

Link to comment

At 3 weeks away from 2 years on estradiol (patches), I have reached a level of comfort with my body and my mind.  Stress is so much less, anger has vanished, replaced by acts of kindness to my spouse and others that are genuinely felt.

 

For me, HRT is a decision that was definitely worthwhile, and from which I could have benefitted from starting much earlier, had I the insight that I have now.

 

Astrid

Link to comment
  • 4 months later...
On 11/10/2021 at 11:59 AM, Marcie Jensen said:

I get it about the joy. Before HRT I had neither joy nor happiness. Certainly, I had joyful moments--when my daughters were born for example--but I never had any permanent sense of joy or happiness that I can recall. Now I do. And, there is a difference between joy and happiness.

Never been a parent but I can certainly tell the difference now between the latter. Haven't had any sad moments in transition yet, but I came from a very dark level of hiding from the marriage until she left. Had a few very happy cries surprise me with the close support friends. Didn't realize until they pulled it out of me how much I was the victim of a narcisistic woman. Vuldnderability is a new thing for me. It's a little scary but in a good way :)

Link to comment

It's really feels as just becoming who I really am, who I was born to be. All the physical and emotional "changes" are like things falling into place. My skin feels quite different and is, but yet like everything else, it's become "natural" to me. Emotions are definitely like doors have opened, lots of different variations there. I think I expected a kind of "novelty" to it but actually HRT has been like a desert has been finally had rains after a long drought. Nature simply takes its course. There is something quite subtle and proufound: not earth-shattering revolution, but sweet, soft and patient. 

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

It's so weird how HRT made me look better, like my facial features are less sharp and more feminine, but like others are saying, I feel so much more patient, at peace, and SO much less irritable. Also, more optimistic.  I didn't expect such a dramatic difference. But I'm really grateful.

Link to comment
  • 6 months later...
On 11/10/2021 at 11:59 AM, Marcie Jensen said:

I get it about the joy. Before HRT I had neither joy nor happiness. Certainly, I had joyful moments--when my daughters were born for example--but I never had any permanent sense of joy or happiness that I can recall. Now I do. And, there is a difference between joy and happiness.

This really hit me... It makes so much sense Except for the birth of my son was neither joyful or a happy moment. It was definitely profound seeing it happen but I truly felt sad. But yeah the depression throughout my life was confusing because I could never figure out why. This is soooo encouraging to hear 

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

HRT was amazing for me.  I'm about 2.5 months in and have experienced some physical and psychological improvements.  The latter is by far the best, because I am feeling much more comfortable in my body now.  My gender dysphoria has reduced, generally, possibly due the stage my electrolysis treatments are at now - hard to notice more than a few facial hair between visits.  I am absolutely loving being a woman and it's been so easy for me (mostly).  I love not having to think about how others might judge me because of the words/actions I'm about to say/do.  I'm also reveling in the caring for and helping of other people.
On the physical front, I love the change in the way my skin feels already - long way to go I expect.  I definitely have breast growth - started running without thinking or a bra twice, stopped almost immediately.  My wife suggest that I avoid going downstairs (we have two male boarders in our house) without a top on, not that the thought had entered my mind.  My wife has also suggest that my face looks more feminine and there is an inkling of shape to my hip.

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
On 11/10/2021 at 10:53 AM, Heather Shay said:

For me the anziety, panic, depression, all that left me. I never felt as good in my life nor do I ever want to go back. Thank God my dysphoria wasn't as great as it could have been or else I'd never have made it to making this post. Having a long term marriage and living in a community where my old self is well known has made full transition difficult but it's worth it because I've never felt this good on the inside EVER.

❤️

Link to comment

I have been on HRT (Estrogen and Spiro only) for one month today...I have noticed myself behaving more feminine (walking, sitting, playing with my hair, etc...oh and one very confusing "why am I crying?" moment)...and I know one month is not long, but I feel like I should be feeling more effect by now...or even seeing some physical changes begin, but I don't see any yet. Does anyone have advice on this? 

Link to comment
28 minutes ago, Charlie Dakota said:

Does anyone have advice on this? 

Give it time and enjoy the process.

 

This website has a good rundown of what to expect: https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-estrogen-hormone-therapy

 

On page S254 of the WPATH Standards of Care 8 you can find the estimated onset of physical changes: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/26895269.2022.2100644

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 116 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Carolyn Marie
    • MaryEllen
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      I have read numerous accounts of trans folk no longer being welcome among evangelicals.   I am here for help and fellowship not to rebuke anyone.  I can take a pretty high degree of insult, etc., and you haven't insulted me, to my recollection anyway :) and I usually let it go.  But I thought I would let it all out there.   I am sure I disagree with you on numerous issues.  I appreciate other people's viewpoints, including those who radically disagree with me.  Intellectual challenge is good. One thing I appreciate about @MaeBe.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Congrats!
    • Sally Stone
      Post 8 “The Ohio Years” We moved to Pittsburgh because of the job with US Airways.  The job involved classroom instruction and simulator training, but no actual flying, so I kept looking for an actual pilot position.  A year after signing on with US Airways I got hired to fly business jets.  The company was located in Cleveland, Ohio, but I was flown commercially from my home in Pittsburgh to where my aircraft was located, making it unnecessary to live near company headquarters.    My flight scheduled consisted of eight days on duty with seven days off.  Having seven days off in a row was great but being gone from home eight days in a row was difficult.  For the first few years the flying was fun, but after a while the eight flying days in a row, were taking their toll on me.  Those days were brutal, consisting of very long hours and a lot of flying time.  Usually, I came home exhausted and need three days just to recover from the work week.  Flying for a living is glamorous until you actually do it.  Quickly, it became just a job.    After five years as a line captain, I became a flight department manager, which required we live near company headquarters.  That meant a move to Cleveland.  Working in the office meant I was home every night but as a manager, the schedule was still challenging.  I would work in the office all week and then be expected to go out and fly the line on weekends.  I referred to it as my “5 on 2 on” schedule, because it felt as though I had no time off at all.   About the same time, we moved to Cleveland, my wife and I became “empty nesters,” with one son in the military and the other away at college.  Sadly, my work schedule didn’t leave much time for Sally.  Add to the fact that while Cleveland is an awesome city, I just never felt comfortable expressing my feminine side.  Most of my outings, and believe me there weren’t enough, occurred while I was on vacation and away from home.   One of the most memorable outings occurred over a long weekend.  I had stumbled across an online notice for a spring formal being held in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, hosted by a local trans group there.  I reached out to Willa to see if she was up for an excellent adventure.  She was, so I picked her up and we drove to Harrisburg together.    The formal was held on Saturday evening and we had the absolute best time.  It turned out that organizers were a group named TransCentralPA.  Everyone was wonderful and I made a lot of new friends that evening.  We learned the spring formal was one of the group’s annual events but for the following year, instead of a spring formal, the group wanted to do a local transgender conference.  That local conference would become the Keystone Conference, and I would attend every year for the next 12.  My move to the west coast was the only reason I stopped attending annually.  I went to the first annual Keystone Conference as an attendee, but in subsequent years I served as a volunteer and as a workshop presenter; more about those in the next installment.   For my Cleveland years, the Keystone Conference would be my major outlet for feminine self-expression.  Yes, I did get out on other occasions, but they were too infrequent.  The managerial job just didn’t allow me the freedom I needed to adequately live my feminine life, and my frustration level was slowly, but steadily on the rise.  It amazed me how adversely not being able to express the feminine half of my personality was affecting my happiness.   However, a major life change was upcoming, and while it would prove to be a significant challenge in many ways, the events would ultimately benefit my female persona.  First, my mom and dad got sick.  They were in and out of the hospital and required personal care.  My wife and I did our best but living in Cleveland, we were too far from them to give them the support they both needed.  Second, I was experiencing serious job burn out.  I decided I need to find another job and I needed to be closer to my parents.    Things changed for the better when I got hired by an aviation training company as a flight simulator instructor.  I would be training business jet pilots.  The training facility was located in New Jersey, which put us much closer to my parents, and the work schedule was much better for quality of life.  Most importantly, this life change would help Sally re-emerge and once again flower.    Hugs,   Sally       
    • Mmindy
      I made a living talking about bulk liquids in cargo tanks transportation as a driver and mechanic. Safe loading/unloading, cleaning and inspecting, as well as emergency response scenarios.   Hazmat and fire behavior in the fire service as well as emergency vehicle operations and safe driving. "It was on fire when they called you. It will be on fire when you get there." Arrive ready to work. I could also talk about firefighter behavioral  heath and the grieving process.   The real fun thing is I can do this for people who are not Truck Drivers or Fire Fighters. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Citizen Tax payers about Public Safety Education.   I love public speaking,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations to the mom and family @Ivy on the addition of another child.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...