Comming Out With The Help Of "myspace"

[Guest Mika N.]

I foresee sometime in the near future, I'll come out to my mom, sis, and bro. OK, so I created this myspace page and the plan is when the time has come to inform them, I'll send them the url to my myspace page. I'll tell them it is me and they should check it out. So.. “Viola!” , myspace would have just provided me the service of coming out to my folks in a way I feel is not as stressful.

So, what do you think? Is this not a good way to go about it? Or should I just stick with the “letter” or “one on one talk“methods... I think this way is more creative and they can read and see everything about the real me at my myspace page. Has anyone done something similar to this when they came out, how did this work out for you?

Check out my myspace page at

http://www.myspace.com/481346247

Oh my name on there is Vivian. That is truly what I want to officially change my name to down the line.

[Guest Evan_J]

Dunno. Wait for some younger peeps' take on this. I don't have a good track record with myspace lol. For me (as someone 41) its "just a bunch of pictures of singers and noise". If I were a parent (and granted , I haven't pulled yours up) I likely couldn't find the information on there and honestly would not sort through all the imagery to find it. I would likely say "its nice" and never really look at it. Too many images is what I encounter there. Because of that, I probably would be less than likely to take whatever I found there seriously. For me, myspace is a playspace for youngpeople. I would think "hmm my kid is thinking about this, some 'mess' thats probably popular with his friends" and dismiss it. Except to mention that he/she/ they had better "clean up whatever is in their head".

I hate to be the downer, but thats my response to myspace.

[Guest meridian]

Vivian, I'm a parent, and here are my thoughts. It's a lovely page, but if your parents don't already know most of what's in it--that you consider yourself bi, that you don't want children, and, of course, that you're transgender/transsexual--it's going to be a lot of information for them to take in at once. I think you might be better off talking with them face to face and telling them that you're transgender, answering their questions about that, and then suggest that they take a look at the page when they're ready to find out more about you. In the long run, I think it will help you if you make it a little easier on them.

Best of luck, and let us know how it goes, however you approach it.

Meridian

[Guest LightNebula]

I think the myspace page would let them know you're more serious about it, but because of seeing how feminine/girly it is, it would probably alarm them a bit more than a letter. I think the letter would surprise them less, but they also wouldn't feel like you're as serious about it as you really are. If you do one on one talks with them, since you're right there with them, they won't have as much time to take in the idea and think about it before they react (probably), but then you could clarify something with them then and there if they think something bad (and let you know about it). To me it seems like doing a one on one talk with them would most of all let them know that you are serious and sure about wanting it.

I don't know which would be the best because I think it sort of depends on their personalities, beliefs, etc. I would do the talk, like I did to let my mom know about how I want to be a female in body. Good luck with whatever you choose and I hope they'll be accepting.

[Guest S. Chrissie]

I have to agree with Evan on that, I would have the same response, sometimes, honesty and being straight-to-the-point beats creativity.

Sherlyn

[Guest Deeedoo]

yer preeetttyy

I like the idea of writing a letter, and then later you can show them the page. It might be a little scary, so maybe you can just use a different background to make it less girly. I think it may be helpful in coming out to the younger members of your family like siblings and cousins.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hon, I'll have to go along with Evan, too....

Myspace doesn't work for us "Calendar Challanged" folks...and it may be too severe...

A personal letter first with a face to face to fill in the gaps is the very best, I think...

Anyway you cut it, coming out is HARD! But, you must remember that YOU already know all about it...the people that you tell will have a lot to digest very quickly!

It's best to ease them in......

Good Luck, Sweetie!

Donna Jean

[Paula ult]

Vivian i agree with Evan and DJ. I'm 57 and although pretty technically savvy i have a hard time sometimes, my guess your parents are close to my age and will have trouble too.

I see you are 34 so i assume you don't live at home, if you live fairly close a face to face is much better than a phone call, letter, email or my space page, if the distance is too far then a phone call or a letter. If you write a letter keep it short and too the point, i like to keep it one page, anything longer and they might lose interest, there will be plenty of time to talk about things later.

Paula

[Guest Mika N.]

ok, maybe the myspace idea of comming out is not the best idea. Yes, I see that it can be a bit much to digest all that information at one time; and yes, I see that it might be difficult for those that are not as internet savy(my mom is not at all tech/internet savy because I have a hard time getting her to check her email...) I live pretty far away from my family so I'll probably go with the phone or letter method then. I'll probably keep the myspace page anyway and show them after I let them know. Thanks to everybody for being so honest even though you probably felt that it was not what I wanted to hear.