Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I Did It!


Amber76

Recommended Posts

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings.

Congratulations @Amber76. What a HUGE milestone! I am so happy for you. First, YOU DID IT! Secondly, your wife has accepted you for you! This is one of the most difficult conversations anyone can have and you made it out alive and better than EVER! What a wonderful start to a new year. I think life just got a little more exciting for you. Keep us updated, if you will.😁

 

All My Best,

Susan R🌷

Link to comment

Awesome!

I did this today with my mom too! She was supportive even if she didn't understand, and she cut my hair and read up on trans things and even got me some tips for binding alternatives (she brought up some valid health concerns regarding binders and what she suggested and found worked pretty good so far). We're going to get me new glasses tomorrow! I got "grandma glasses" and they make my face look super feminine, and I didn't like it so we're going to go find a more angular pair. 

And I got a piece of advice; Take your time and pace yourself. 

I kept pushing and pushing because I want a change now, but that will only end up hurting me in the long run, so the important part is to take your time and make informed decisions. Granted, I could have gone about trying to have a conversation in a better way (I started an argument because I'm on my period and I let myself spiral and get upset beforehand and didn't know how to broach the topic), but I'm glad we made something constructive out of it. 

And yeah, it's a lot of emotions and they're overwhelming but that's good! You're moving forward and I think you'll both do great!

Remember, I'm proud of you, so be proud of yourself!

You've got this! 

Quote

~Sol 💖

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
9 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

 

@Amber76, I am so happy for you!!  This is by far the hardest step, and now you have your best friend and ally with you on the journey.  Be proud of yourself that you did it; it is no small accomplishment.

 

I still remember the rush of euphoria when I heard my wife say, "Whatever you decide to do, I will support you."  That is when you know that you picked the right wife.

 

Enjoy the ride from her on.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Fantastic news @Amber76! I'm so happy for you! May your spouse continue to support you in all things as the two of you figure stuff out!

 

Congratulations to you as well @Sol! I hope your journey is every bit as fulfilling as mine has been.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations on a great step.  What wonderful acceptance to have received.  You will be transitioning together which certainly can smooth out asometimes bumpy ride.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Thank you all for the love. I'm really not sure what to feel ... To be honest I'm more scared now than I was before. Excited, yes, but I don't even know where or how to begin. And now different voices in my head are screaming all new things.

 

I didn't dress yesterday, or show her that me; and I'm not really ready to do that yet, as much as I may want to. I think I need to process a little. Or a lot.

 

A friend was supporting me, who didn't know what I was going through just cared. Was proud of me for slaying my personal dragon. I am too. I just don't know what I'm going to do with all this dragon meat now 🙄🤪🤢🥰😫💃😊🤓🤯

 

@Sol that's awesome I'm proud of you! It helps knowing we're in similar stages of our journeys. Congratulations! 🤗🤗🤗

 

@Jackie C.@Charlize @Artpetal@Susan R @KathyLauren it's words of encouragement like these and so many others that have helped me get further than I ever really thought possible

 

@Vidanjali special shout-out to you and the recommendation to check out Irene Lyon. I've been to many therapists over the years but nothing has helped me control my anxiety or manage my feelings better

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
11 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work.

That's great news Amber. Congratulations, you'll figure it out, and have a supportive teammate to help you be who you really are.

 

Hug,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Amber,

I am so happy for you.  It's amazing how much courage we can get from the support found here, isn't it.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

Link to comment

Bless you, @Amber76 . Don't be dismayed that you feel more scared now than ever. It could be just that you're allowing yourself to feel more than ever, and not that there's more to be feared. 

 

I'm looking forward to your upcoming classic cookbook, "101 delectable dragon meat recipes" 😂🐲🍖

 

I cannot take credit for the Irene Lyon recommendation - must have been someone else. But now that you mention her, I'll check her out too. Mo tools for processing trauma, mo better. 

 

Much love. 

Link to comment

woops almost missed your update Amber, so glad you are moving forward! Can totally relate with the various feelings all at once and happy your partner is supporting you, that is going to make a huge difference. 

Keep Going! 

but always, at your own pace

Link to comment

Sorry for the late response Amber, but I want to add my congratulations.  It is wonderful that your wife is understanding and supportive.  She still probably has a long way to go, however, so I'd recommend you continue to be patient with her.  It certainly does sound like a great beginning.  Hugs to you both.

Link to comment

Congratulations Amber!  I know how important it is to have an understanding wife.  You have some exciting times ahead!

Link to comment

Thank you all. It really means the world to me have all of your support. It makes next steps, whatever and whenever, that much less scary

Link to comment

Wonderful news @Amber76! Congratulations! Congratulations to you too @Sol! Telling someone we love in person seems to make it all the more real, at least for me. The first person I spoke the words, "I'm pretty sure I'm transgender," & later, "There's no doubt," to was my wife.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/29/2021 at 3:07 AM, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

That is so great Amber.I wish you all the very best on your journey.Take care.

Link to comment

Thank you all! I do appreciate the support

 

Tbh it's been so anticlimactic. I feel like "so what" now.

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Just reading this, as it's my first day on the forum...I'm very happy for you and your wife!

Hugs!

Katie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 189 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • MaybeRob
    • SamC
    • MaeBe
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,025
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • KymmieL
      Hey, everyone. my life is going down the tubes. at least I think. So, today. A customer called about his car, I told him that the oil change was done. The parts to fix the check engine light are ordered. He can come and get it. For the weekend if he wants. Customer says I didn't want an oil change. it was check the engine light and check for an oil leak. Checking the work order says oil change. The boss wrote the vehicle up. checking with the customer on services wanted.   Being that I wrote down the appointment in the book. and clearly states oil leak. She is complaining because she can't read my small ish writing. It seems she read oil and assumed it as an oil change. It seems like she is blaming me.  She wound up going home because she was too upset. She is stressing about an eye problem she has, she has to get eye surgery it seems she has a tear in her eye.    I feel that I am short for this job. because of the BS they are blaming me on. Plus I am still upset about the trust issue. If either one of the bosses start their Shite tomorrow. I am walking out.    
    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
    • Ashley0616
      Just a comfortable gray sweater dress and some sneakers. Nothing special today. 
    • VickySGV
      I do still carry a Swiss Army knife along with my car keys.  
    • Timi
      Jeans and a white sweater. And cute white sneakers. Delivering balloons to a bunch of restaurants supporting our LGBT Community Center fundraiser today!
    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
    • missyjo
      I've no desire to present androgynous..nothing wrong with it but I am a girl n wish to present as a girl. shrugs, if androgynous works fir others good. always happy someone finds a solution or happiness    today black jeans  black wedges..purple camisole under white n black polka dot blouse half open   soft smile to all 
    • MaeBe
      I have read some of it, mostly in areas specifically targeted at the LGBTQ+ peoples.   You also have to take into account what and who is behind the words, not just the words themselves. Together that creates context, right? Let's take some examples, under the Department of Health & Human Services section:   "Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike."   or   "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on “LGBTQ+ equity,” subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families."   From a wording perspective, who doesn't want to protect the health and well-being of Americans or think that families aren't good for America? But let's take a look at the author, Roger Severino. He's well-quoted to be against LGBTQ+ anything, has standard christian nationalist views, supports conversion therapy, etc.   So when he uses words like "threatens the health and well-being of children and adults alike" it's not about actual health, it's about enforcing cis-gendered ideology because he (and the rest of the Heritage Foundation) believe LGBTQ+ people and communities are harmful. Or when he invokes the family through the lens of, let's just say dog whistles including the "penalization of marriage" (how and where?!), he idealizes families involving marriage of a "biological male to a biological female" and associates LGBTQ+ family equity as something unhealthy.   Who are the radical actors? Who is telling people to be trans, gay, or queer in general? No one. The idea that there can be any sort of equity between LGBTQ+ people and "normal" cis people is abhorrent to the author, so the loaded language of radical/destructive/guise/threaten are used. Families that he believes are "good" are stable/well-ordered/healthy, specifically married/nuclear ones.   Start looking into intersectionality of oppression of non-privileged groups and how that affects the concept of the family and you will understand that these platitudes are thinly veiled wrappers for christian nationalist ideology.   What's wrong with equity for queer families, to allow them full rights as parents, who are bringing up smart and able children? Or single mothers who are working three jobs to get food on plates?
    • Ashley0616
      Well yesterday didn't work like I wanted to. I met a guy and started talking and he was wanting to be in a relationship. I asked my kids on how they thought of me dating a man and they said gross and said no. I guess it's time to look for women. I think that is going to be harder. Oh well I guess.  
    • Ashley0616
      I don't have anything in my dress pocket
    • Carolyn Marie
      This topic reminds me of the lyrics to the Beatles song, "A Little Help From My Friends."   "What do you see when you turn out the lights?"   "I can't tell you but I know it's mine."   Carolyn Marie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      @Ivy have you read the actual document?   Has anyone else out there read it?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am reading the Project 2025 document https://www.project2025.org/policy/   This will take some time.  I read the forward and I want to read it again later.   I read some criticism of it outside here and I will be looking for it in the light of what has been posted here and there.  Some of the criticism is bosh.   @MaeBe have you read the actual document?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...