Some questions regarding shifting/changing genders

[MayaXD]

Hi!

I really want to ask some questions and have some genderfluid, genderflux or even just transgender experiences shared so I can understand some things.

I am questioning my gender, and I think I'm most probably genderfluid. One of my problems is that I find it very hard to grasp and understand my gender sometimes. Do you have advice on how can I do that better and connect with my inner feelings? I can only sometimes feel it when it's very strong like I have urges to dress super feminine or to bind and present as a man (I'm afab).

Also, my mom knows that I'm questioning but my dad and friends don't, and I speak with my mom a language different from my country's language and it is not as gendered as my country's language. So I don't know how can I try out pronouns really... Do you think I should ask her to call me a masculine name on masculine days? Or maybe you have other ideas?

Thanks in advance to everyone.

[Davie]

Welcome @MayaXD!  And we welcome good questions. For me it's mindful states of mind I seek. Whether it's meditation or wrriting, or walking, listening to music, dancing, talking to friends,  during each day. But it's been vital also to have a gender therapist to listen to anything I need to question who is safe and stays with me over time. Keep coming back.

💜

Davie

[MayaXD]

35 minutes ago, Davie said:

Welcome @MayaXD!  And we welcome good questions. For me it's mindful states of mind I seek. Whether it's meditation or wrriting, or walking, listening to music, dancing, talking to friends,  during each day. But it's been vital also to have a gender therapist to listen to anything I need to question who is safe and stays with me over time. Keep coming back.

💜

Davie

Thank you for the helpful answer!

[Delcina B]

Hi @MayaXD! Good question! For me, I don't know that I am genderfluid, but I did play the masculine role for years as that was expected, & explored my femme in private, I'm AMAB. Today I identify as a transgender woman. Other than exploring, I found a gender therapist helpful. I had to wait a while to see her due to COVID, so I read a work book suggested here, You and Your Gender Identity by Dara Hoffman Fox, they read it on YouTube as well. There's a Dr. Z also on YouTube (suggested here also) I found helpful. However you go, I hope you enjoy the journey!

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

[VickySGV]

Here is a book I have and one where I have met the author who is a non-binary human who is a media producer and just a wonderful sweetheart as a person.

 

https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-You-Trying-Someone/dp/0143110128

[Astrid]

And, in the spirit of offering book titles that have been helpful, here are two that I've found extremely useful, including during my questioning phase. Their exercises really helped me, in particular.  Both are by the same authors:

 

Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker

How to Understand Your Gender

 

Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker

Life Isn't Binary

 

Both are inexpensive and available in printed and electronic editions.

 

Best wishes,

 

Astrid

 

[MayaXD]

On 10/10/2022 at 2:56 AM, Delcina B said:

Hi @MayaXD! Good question! For me, I don't know that I am genderfluid, but I did play the masculine role for years as that was expected, & explored my femme in private, I'm AMAB. Today I identify as a transgender woman. Other than exploring, I found a gender therapist helpful. I had to wait a while to see her due to COVID, so I read a work book suggested here, You and Your Gender Identity by Dara Hoffman Fox, they read it on YouTube as well. There's a Dr. Z also on YouTube (suggested here also) I found helpful. However you go, I hope you enjoy the journey!

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

On 10/10/2022 at 3:10 AM, VickySGV said:

Here is a book I have and one where I have met the author who is a non-binary human who is a media producer and just a wonderful sweetheart as a person.

 

https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-You-Trying-Someone/dp/0143110128

 

On 10/10/2022 at 3:51 AM, Astrid said:

And, in the spirit of offering book titles that have been helpful, here are two that I've found extremely useful, including during my questioning phase. Their exercises really helped me, in particular.  Both are by the same authors:

 

Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker

How to Understand Your Gender

 

Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker

Life Isn't Binary

 

Both are inexpensive and available in printed and electronic editions.

 

Best wishes,

 

Astrid

 

 

Thank you all for the book recommendations! I'll check them out and order them!

I didn't think about books as a tool to help me figure out myself even though I really love reading.