PRECIOUS Subtle & Surprising Acceptance Moments of Gender Affirmation

[swallow]

Hi everyone!

 

Just checking in, hope all is well.

 

Wanted to share something sweet and positive.

 

My son who is 17yrs is applying for college. I've always gotten along well with him, he has a somewhat acerbic sense of humour and constantly shakes his head or ribs me for all the silly things I ask or do. Such I suppose is the California teen these days.

 

I've come out to both my children (My daughter who is Twenty is at large in South America). They come from a very accepting generation but still, sometimes, you wonder if they are really just trying to be kind or if they have really mentally adjusted to my switch.

 

Well recently, my son has been thinking a little harder about his college applications (Tis the season)

 

He's a bright kid with a good SATs and GPA score even if not as driven or hard working as my daughter. But he seems to have caught my general indecisiveness is life. He doesn't know what he wants to do but he knows very well what he doesn't

 

Anyway we were applying and he told me it was my turn to add in the financials and I scrolled to see what was put in before...

 

I was (pleasantly) surprise (if still somewhat of a shock to my own system) to see he had put me down as his MOTHER!

 

I guess with my deceased wife, that would kinda make us a lesbian couple? Although of course technically I had not transition when she was alive.

 

Whatever the case, I felt a flush of acceptance even if I tried stoically to focus on task at hand.

 

He never speaks much about my dressing or otherwise. He told me he could not give (an expletive) what I was, I was still who I am to him anyway which is what I told them, that my core personality is still the same.

 

But I'd be lying if it did not put a different complexion to how I see myself having him accept me as such.

 

...not that I cared if he had put me down as his father either or a more neutral parent.

 

Yet its given me a lift and impetus to push forward as I now enter my Anniversary on HRT.

 

I spoke just recently to my provider at the clinic on next step exploring Orchiectomy. I'm weighing the benefits of neutering over long term complications against the cumulative effects of the HRT I am on now.

 

I also mentioned that as I checked off issues that get "fixed" (I think I'm close to the end point with my electrolysis), I then find new niggly issues which surface up as a state of new priority.

 

My Adams Apple isn't that prominent as most people outside seem to gender me female visually. But you know how you look in the mirror, see every crack on the face and the little lump looks like a giant cliff.

 

I'm still somewhat in two minds whether I'd bother since I recently got accepted to join a choir and would not want to risk any complications however minor to voice.

 

But that feeling that someone close to you has made his mental adjustment quietly without making much fuss to you. It feels... so good.

 

What excuse do I have now to tell myself I am not deserving?

 

Anyone-else with an interesting subtle acceptance story to share?

 

 

 

 

[Trans22]

 Whether it's subtle or not, it's always great to have someone accept you for who you really.  My nieces and nephew, all changed my name on their phones to Aunty Whitney, which was nice to know.  My youngest, 3yo grandson isn't able to pronounce names so he  created versions of my old and current name that he can pronounce - there is a very subtle difference in the two names he has used (is using) for me.

[Carolyn Marie]

Thanks for posting your very uplifting story this morning, @swallow.  To accepted by ones family is a wonderful gift of affirmation and love.  Congrats to you for raising such a wonderful son.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[KayC]

Hi @swallow!

Thank you for sharing your story.  It hits close to home and is encouraging for me.

I just came out to my daughter last week (son is next).  I had a LOT of trepidation but she quickly accepted me without conditions.  But still, even over that last week I am constantly looking for 'signs' of how much (?) does she accept me. 

 

Feels like a silly mind game I am playing on myself.  So that is why I so much appreciate and connect with your story.  Thank you