Trans debate and work colleagues

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Unfortunately, I don't think that there is a good answer that will please everybody.  Part of the reason I prefer to work at home and not have to deal with the general population.  I definitely don't have the strength to deal with coworker drama, and I don't know how everybody else seems to handle it so well.  But...workplaces are for making money, and supposedly everybody is there for the same purpose under the same non-partisan rules.  So if something is making you uncomfortable, that's a conversation to have with supervisors and HR folks. 

 

I get that cis women can be possessive of female-only spaces.  Bathrooms, locker rooms, etc...  but there's a way to accommodate everybody and make every member of the team feel valued and safe.  If it doesn't currently exist, they need to spend some time and money making it happen.

[Jupiter]

On 3/11/2023 at 12:38 PM, Emma De said:

It sounds as if your work is far more empathetic and caring. My work runs on fear and getting rid of people who don't follow their aims. This is new and has seen a lot of the best staff leave. I am trying to fight it from the inside, but my own health and well being is a mess. Maybe change requires a change of environment?
I need to find firm foundations and that is just not possible at the moment. Someone else said similar in a reply. I just fear that while struggling with gender dysphoria and other issues I won't find firm footing or even recognise them if I find them. 
I will keep reading and trying to be me when I can. 
Thank you for taking the time to reply. It helps so much and means so much as I feel so alone. Thanks

 

I feel so sad for you, that you're in a place that is not open with decent people.   Part of the reason it took me so long to transition was the issue you've had, with workplaces being very male centric (I work in IT) or just openly homo/transphobic making it hard to even be a fraction of myself.  Private sector seems way worse for this as well I might add.

 

It took me leaving what I didn't realise at the time as a toxic environment to a much nmore liberal and free workplace to really be me.  I know now isn't really the time, but I would consider your position there and look into working elsewhere if you feel there is going to be a lack of support or any pushback.

I knew I was onto a winner with my current place when I found we had a gender identity policy that suports trans and NB people fully, and gives us time off work for any transition related items no questions asked.

 

 

[Emma De]

I truly understand what is meant by a toxic environment. Also that it only takes one person and for the manager to not care or not take an interest in what the junior managers are doing. The one silver lining is there will be a new manager next year. I just have to last till then.

[Emma De]

On 3/12/2023 at 2:37 AM, JoniSteph said:

 

Big Canadian Hug

@JoniSteph Your comments are very accurate. The wider issues at the moment prevent me and my wife being able to look at my challenges. My therapy on the NHS has had to end as we get a limited number of sessions. By therapist was not happy and it has left me alone. I am lucky to still have my parents, but they don't understand my gender issues, but support me in every other way. I guess if I get through this the sun will shine and hope will prevail. Thank you for taking the time to reply. It means a great deal and more than I can say here.

 

 

 

[Julief71]

I am in the same boat at my work. My company was voted one of the best places to work for lgbtq+ and for racial equality but my co workers on the floor (i am a truck and transport mechanic by trade) all openly share how they cannot stand trans people so i have not come out at work and dont know if i will until i am managment. I just present as my true self after hours and at work present as male, hopefully some day that will change.

[Emma De]

Best wishes to you @Julief71
I now feel that I have to live as I am for the time being. Accept that I can be me in private and hope for the future. Sad but true. I just hope that I can continue to relax a little eventually and let my true self become me in how I live. Let little things out and enjoy it. Perhaps that will be enough for now.