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Hexzonna's Kacoia


JordanG

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 Hexzonna had Cerebral Palsy, she couldn’t walk without a walker, or eat without a G-tube, so she turned them into imaginary friends. It was becoming clear to Hexzonna that having these things made her different, and she didn’t want to be different! Her parents could sense that as well. Right now she was laying on the floor of the playroom with the toy box. Her imagination was the only thing that kept her company. Why if only her parents could see Kacoia, then they would know how much she could do for Kacoia could conform to her differences

In school, Hexzonna had to type on a computer, which she hated, because the other students could handwrite. Hexzonna loved walking on the uneven ground of her yard and feeling her muscles strain,  but in PE,  Hexzonna had to sit out of some games, because she might get hurt. This made Hexzona cry, she felt different from the other kids! She did not want to have Cerebral Palsy! If only the adults at school would listen to her parents and let her do what she imagined she could do in her stories! TV and Movies and Audio Tapes taught Hexzonna to make up stories. 

“I wish I could go to Kacoia, to be with Skizzer, Zebriila, Quaw, and Axpous!” Hexzonna thought.

The toybox in front of her contained a clock. it opened revealing a beautiful clock gilded in gold, with alternating sapphires and emeralds for each quarter-hour and roman numerals otherwise. The clock stood up! Its hands started spinning! 

Hexzonna found herself in the middle of the grass, the shade of the blue sea. The land moved wildly under her forming a gigantic ball! Surprised Hexonna knew the ground wasn’t listening to her and tried to flatten the ball, instead, the ball did a rolling tilt and she fell off! Instinctively Hexzonna slung her torso over the ball again this time putting her palms on the flat ground below, though she didn’t fall off the ground still would not behave! It did a rolling tilt so Hexzonna’s hands got propelled off the ground, except this time she planted her hands firmly on top of the ball. In a crawling position, it was harder to stay on than ever! Stay on? That was it! The ground was wanting her to stay on! Hexzonna used her palms to push herself into a standing position, The ball tilted gently and she fell off, but at least the ground seemed tamer. Hexzonna slung herself belly side down back on, pulled herself into a crawling position, and pushed herself into a sitting position, with her feet planted firmly on the ground, the ball did rolling tilts sideways, backward, and forwards, and Hexzonna finally just sat there making it do rolling tilts with her legs,

Then the ground made hills, which Hexzonna slid and rolled down happily. When she was, at last, able to catch what little balance she had, she saw what she would call a zebrilla. It was spinning, so it hovered above the ground, its oval-shaped head, with sparkling sapphire eyes that laughed, and one circular leg with a big downwards oval-shaped foot attached, had the appearance of solid moonlight a white center ending in a circular nose, seemed surrounded by misty glass.

The Zebrilla floated over to Hexzonna and said“Welcome Hexzonna.” Hexzonna smiled;

“Hello, Zebwiila, do you wemembew me?” Hexzonna worried. Zebrilla looked at her closely.

 Hexzonna hated the pain of having the button taken out of her stomach. Even more troubling was that most of the time it was done by one of her parents whom she loved! The button was meant to give her liquid formula to replace food. But despite this, to Hexzonna the button was alive! The buttons were called mickey buttons. They were oval-shaped on top, with a long circular nose like a hole. She could then place the eyes to the sides of the nose and he, Zebrilla looked alive indeed, and Hexzonna loved Zebrilla dearly.

 She also knew that other people didn’t have buttons. She couldn't say how she knew, but the difference was clear! At restaurants where Hexzonna could see people eating with their mouths. When Hexzonna’s pup beeped it made the same sound as the deep fryers. She, her parents, and Axpous all laughed at its joke! It didn't stop Hexzonna from wanting to go though!

“I’ve missed you since we got separated,” Zebrilla smiled.

Hexzonna had her button taken out in the hospital, for years it had just been there. Her parents said she didn’t need it anymore. If the button wasn’t there anymore what would happen to the entity? Hexzonna had gotten comfort out of the constancy of it. Whenever she didn’t need something anymore it moved on to Kacoia, where it was more than a memory. For she believed the button, walker, tube, pump, and oxygen tank were alive. As Hexzonnna imagined them the act of imagining created energy that became sentient. Of course, every living thing needs a place to live so Hexzinna created Kacoia. ‘Being she couldn't draw Hexzonna doubted her parents knew about Kacoia.

“I know you miss me though the ability to eat is a good thing.”

Hexzonna wasn’t sure if abilities were a good thing. She thought, of course, it was good to look as normal to other people as possible! It’s just every time she gained an ability, she seemed to lose something else… More importantly, someone else! With these thoughts, tears welled up in Hexzonna’s eyes.   

“I’m here Hexzonna! Look how floaty I am!

Hexzonna laughed.

Zebrilla looked at Hexzonna, her body wasn’t moving as well as he had hoped. Zebrilla knew that Hexzonna needed to believe in her abilities if she was to be a grownup. Slowly little bubbles started to appear in the balloon that was Zebrilla’s foot. Sparkling in the orange light. It let her other friends know that Hexzonna was here, and needed their help.  

“I guess it’s time to bring Kacoia to life one last time.” yawned the Quaw

“I’m knot prepared!” joked the Skizzer, and no one laughed.

Apxous whirled its gears in excitement “Hexzonna is here!” they seemed to sing.

“Now you must face nine more navigation challenges,” Zebrilla proclaimed.

Zebrilla swooped Hexzonna up and soared into the purple orchid sky. When the ground started moving below them, Zebrilla looked embarrassed and asked, “ Did you want me to carry you?”

Hexzonna flapped her arms. “Yeah!” Hexzonna piped.

Zebrilla nodded. And they continued on their journey.

“Why do you fly?” Hexzonna wondered.

“I hover because I can’t balance on the moving ground. The one leg I have at the center of me was meant for hopping but the ground never stays flat! I discovered that what I thought was my foot was a balloon that filled up when I drank. By holding in the air I was able to float.” I know you like flying!

Hexzonna’s stomach was sometimes filled with air, which had to be let out by syringe via the feeding tube.

“Why awe ewe no cloud??”

“Why are there no clouds? Let’s fix that!” 

“How?’

“Just take a deep breath. keeping your shoulders down. Blow through the hole under the latch on the top of my head”

Hexzonna tugged the latch open, took a deep breath, and blew… bubbles! They formed shapeless clouds, which reflected rainbows and made Hexzonna and Zebrilla look silly! Their bodies looked mixed up. Sometimes Hexzonna’s arm was on the top of her head, Zebrilla grew wider and skinnier and so did Hexzonna. She had done this exercise in speech therapy but had never known its purpose. Now it seemed thanks to her friend Zebrilla it had a purpose!

Zebrilla had been with Hexzonna the longest. The tube and the pump could be put away, but the button stayed in her stomach always. “What will happen to me once she doesn’t need me anymore?” Zebilla wondered. “How will we talk?’ Hexzonna had few friends at school, the few she made moved away. Zebrilla hid his worries behind laughter. 

“Help,” someone cried from the bushes. At least, that’s where Hexzonna thought they were. When Zebrilla got closer, Hexzonna could see trees with big balls of silver leaves on each branch. A Skizzer was tangled in the branches. It had an alligator-like head, and a snake-like body, which was pink and purple, its dark purple eyes searching the sky for help practically. The tube on her pump for her G-Tube sometimes got tangled, for it too was divided into sections in the same v-shape a bit down its neck. One time Hexzonna’s tube got caught in her walker wheel, but it somehow managed not to pull the button out. More often though, Hexzonna remembered lying on the carpeted floor having fun moving the tube back and forth like a snake. Sometimes even the tube would kink Hexzonna would say “Kink, KInk!” and one of her parents would come and fix it so the pump would stop beeping.

Hexzonna looked at the creature and thought, “How do I untie a knot with one hand?”

“left-handed is just as good as right-handed,” the Skizzer thought back to her, and carefully folding and pulling, she untied it.

 “How did you ge uck?” Hexzonna asked.

“I climbed up here because I was hungry and got stuck” sighed the Skizzer. “Some days I hate being me!”

“The keyword here is some days” Zebrilla wisely commented.

“Most days I indeed enjoy being me..” Skizzer smiled thoughtfully at Hexzonna.

“Me oo” Hexzonna confirmed empathetically.

“You untied me with one hand, that's hard to do” Skizzer applauded.

“I can slither but it’s very hard work, for I always get caught on something, but now thanks to you I’ll never get tangled, for you, Hexzonna, can always untangle me.”

“Glad o help I feel glad o help inead of being helped” Hexzonna chirped.

Hexzonna brightened. She knew her friends wanted her to gain abilities, 

“I wan o be able o do ings bu I don wan o lo you” she admitted to Skizzer.

“Do you think gaining abilities is goodbye?’ asked Skizzer.

“I wan o be wi you! How can I be wi you if I don need my ube anymowe?” Hexzonna was puzzled.

We’re friends that won’t change even as you do!”

Hexzonna wasn’t sure she liked change. Still, the button and tube and pump together were quite conspicuous! Hexzonna was sure other people noticed, which made her uncomfortable. She wanted to look like other people!  

The skizzer swept along with Hexzonna and the floating zebrilla. The ground started moving again, and while her two agile new friends swept and floated along behind her, Hexzonna rode the ground. It was nice to not have to be able to walk!

“Hexzonna I have to dig underground where it’s flat, but I get caught on roots; this makes me feel queasy." apologized Skizzer.

Hexzonna knew when the tube transported too much liquid she sometimes retched.

/“But if you dig, Hexzonna will fall in.” protested Zebrilla.

Hexzonna began to crawl around the hills. As she crawled, the ground became flatter, although her legs still created small hills that Skizzer could easily navigate around. Her two friends shared a knowing smile. They had gotten Hexzonna to move around on her own. Now Zebrilla could do the bouncing he enjoyed! 

Hexzonna saying “Kink! Kinnk!” plated like music in Skizzer’s mind, Skizzer could feel himself being unplugged from the button for the last time. Skizzer was certain nothing came after the last time.

As the skizzer swept along the ground with them, they came to a zig-zag canyon. In the center was a Ligaut, a rolling shiny, electric-blue square with its corners twisting into circles, a comforting pudge accenting its appearance; seemingly oblivious to the boulders rolling off the sides of the canyon toward it! Without thinking, Hexzonna crawled into the cannon toward it, grabbing it, his arms quickly sprung out of the cube, forcing her once again to stand up. She zig-zagged, dodging boulders. Sometimes they landed in front of her or to the side of her and sometimes behind her. When a bolder landed in front of her, she would have to lift the arms of the Ligaut to turn the wheels left or right when they were off the ground. When the boulders landed they startled her.  Heexzonna’s vision became blurry, her arms and legs jerked uncomfortably, and the feeling of fear ran through her mind; then it was over, Hexzonna didn’t have the time to truly acknowledge she was afraid, she and the ligaut wherein danger!  Just before the boulders hit them Hezonna and Ligaut made it across to safety.

“Thank you, that was a brave thing to do,” Ligaut smiled in relief.

“I awle which mean I’m no bwave” sighed Hexzonna

“Bravery comes in many forms” comforted Ligaut.

 Then the shape of the Ligaut began to change, forming a U-shaped seat with wheels.

“Wanna ride?”

Hexzonna wasn't sure, after all, she had just had to rescue him!

“If I lose control I’ll stick out my arms and you can stand up and walk like you just did.”

The ground started to move, and of course, the Ligaut lost control immediately! Fortunately, Hexzonna took control just in time going quicker than she ever had before!

“Why do you change hape”? asked Hexzonna

“The ground moves to create balls and hills, that I fall down, so I try to  change shape quickly in an attempt, not to get hurt” elucidated Ligaut.”Helping you walk is the only thing that’s actually worked.” 

“I’ve flown Hexzonna over the ground, it was easier for me that way,” recalled Zebrilla.

“I’ve slithered around hills Hexzonna made crawling” remembered Skizzer.

“Also I got her to walk!” proudly proclaimed Ligaut 

The little walker Hexzonna had, and the many places her parents took her because with it she could walk! Her parents took her on trips to the Zoo where she liked the elephants and cheetahs. To the Aquarium, where she liked to watch the jellyfish float up and down, propelled by water in their cylindrical tank. Hexzoona was sure Ligaut could see the animals too! She could stay watching the tank forever if her parents didn’t make her move on. She never felt ashamed of her Disability in a way that made her want to hide! Hexzonna also thought It would be great to walk like the other people she saw at the Zoo and Aquarium! Things would just be better if she was normal! Though if she learned how to walk without a walker she wouldn’t need the walker anymore… Would they still be able to be friends?   

Ligaut remembered how sturdy Hexzonna was with his guidance. How he could help her run fast? “Can Hexonna learn to slow down?” he wondered.

Skizzer had an idea!

“Can you tie me in a knot around you? I’m tired.”

Hexzonna froze; she would have to use her right hand!

“Think about the way you untied me and do the opposite,” suggested Skizzer.

 Hexzonna crossed Skizzer into an X. Then took one half of the X and wrapped it around the other half to make a loop. Then pulling the other half through the loop, Hexzonna tied him around her arm.

“I knew you could do it” Skizzer giggled because the slip knot felt funny.

When Hexzonna saw the gold light in the sky she knew it must be the clock.

“Can you solve my riddle… Who am I willing to lose to gain abilities?” said the voice of the clock. Hexzonna smiled but didn’t know what it was saying.

 Then the voices of her parents came out of the clock. “We built this clock to discover where Imaginary things go after we create them. When we learned you had Cerebral Palsy our first thought was that we would pay for therapy, but then we came up with the idea to let you be your therapist! We couldn’t talk to you, so we had to see your thoughts. Eventually, we came up with the idea for the clock. The antique clock has parts that are easier to update than contemporary clocks, but we had to build most of the parts for the machine… happy birthday Hexzonna! We knew if our experiment worked, we couldn’t follow you; for your imagination is private.” Hexzonna’s parents were Astrophysicists

 At least now that they understood her, her parents were happy, but Hexzonna and her parents would miss each other terribly. Hexzonna thought about her memories of their happiest times and they appeared in front of her. Riding the Camel at the zoo with her Mom. The camel walked so slowly around the enclosure that Hexzonna wasn’t sure if her Mom needed to hold on to her so she wouldn’t fall, the camel glided over the ground smoothly. Making a chocolate cake with Dad when Mom went out of town, staying up as late as she wanted to watch her favorite movies! Opening the Robot friend she got for her fifth birthday it could respond to what was on TV, its favorite show was about it. The Robot Friend could also sing songs and play games with her, why had she grown out of it? Maybe it was because she wanted real friends… If her parents knew about Kacoia it must be real! That to Hexonna was the real present.

 The gold light bounced as the ground slid Hexzonna to a mountain. Hexzonna looked up, true, Zebrilla could carry her up, but Hexzonna sensed the clock had other ideas. Hexzonna found the slope and started to crawl up finding little crevices that fit her knees and hands perfectly. Even as the slope got steeper the crevices kept her from falling. 

Getting to the top she saw a Quaw. He had an orange cylindrical body, which seemed to catch the light and make it dull and blurry, Four long hooked legs, his sphere-shaped head the shade of dark emeralds, mist appearing out of a hole at the top of its head, silver eyes shining with wisdom instead of the youthful laughter of Zebrilla. The oxygen tank Hexzonna once had. She didn’t remember exactly how it worked... Just she had another tube, with uncomfortable prongs that came up to her nose. Something like a bandage wrapped around her right toe. The black box with red lights that beeped, which her parents would come and turn off... She cried out of love when she didn’t need it anymore, even though she slept more comfortably afterward. 

“You’ve found me. Can you see how to get down?”

 Hexzonna thought “balance doesn’t work the same way going down”

 “ don Know,” she said.

“Think about it longer,” said the Quaw. Hexzonna finally decided to slide down the mountain, but the crevices hurt her back.

“There must be a better way,” Skizzer thought to her.

Then Hexzonna noticed that between the crevices there were smooth paths! When she put her feet in them they squeezed her shoes so tight that she had no choice but to stand up. She was able to drag her feet down the mountain. Being with her friends was so much fun. She wished she could find some way for them to be together even as she gained more abilities and became more normal.

“I haven't seen Hexzonna in so long, I couldn’t come up with something unique to my use” the Quaw explained.

“You came up with something perfect!” exclaimed the always enthusiastic Zebrilla.

“I didn’t come up with something unique to my use either” pointed out Skizzer.

“I was, that’s because I know Hexzonna’s a thrill-seeking adventurer at heart!” bragged Ligaut.

Quaw looked at Hexzonna “Glad to see your sleeping better” said Quaw.

Hexzonna hugged the Quaw “I mi you” she squeaked”

“You really shouldn’t! You're doing so well now, and that’s the most important thing.”

Hexzonna agreed. 

Quaw remembered when Hexzonna had trouble breathing at night. He was glad not to be needed anymore. “I hope Hexzonna forgets me.” was his depressed thought.

When they got down again, they saw in front of them a bird made of gold, a great sea, the shade of emeralds on the other side. Hexzonna just looked at it unsure what it was even for, the blue sea grass before they had dissipated leaving an ominous emptiness below. Hexzonna reached for the bird but sitting couldn’t reach it!

“Can you make yourself taller?” asked Skizzer.

Hexzonna thought about standing on the ball, it had only worked for a second but here…? Placing her palms on the ground she pushed herself up her legs shook so she put her leg further from the other and the shaking stopped, She reached for the bird grasping its wings, and lifted herself off the cliff… She was flying faster than Zebrilla could carry her giggling all the way. The abyss below her was as white as sunlight when she saw the wide net of soft blue glass below her she simply let go making a crater in the grass net when she landed. The bird flew back for Skizzer who tied himself around its wings, and for Quaw who used his four hook-shaped legs to hang upside down from one wing, and Ligaut made an axle with his arms and both wings. Zebrilla floated across all by himself.

“Why didn’t you use the bird?” asked Quaw

“It was fun” piped Skizzer

“I didn’t need to,” said Zebrilla haughtily

 Quaw rolled its  eyes, “It’s ok to have help sometimes”

“Like we’re helping Hexzonna” Skizzer reminded it.

Zebrilla nodded and his cheeks felt hot.

“We all make mistakes sometimes” comforted Ligaut.

Hexzonna looked at the emerald sea and froze!

“Think about it with me,” thought the Skizzer to Hexonna, “What do bodies need to do to swim?”

Hexzonna got into a crawling position in the lapping waves, and turned over on her back, like magic she was floating! The Skizzer, the Zebrilla, Ligaut, and the Quaw repeated her movements, and together they floated to the other side of the shore. 

On the shore, Hexzonna saw an odd sight. Something that looked to be an accordion grinding food into liquid. Each loop appeared to have sharp silver teeth in it and it was bouncing up and down opening and shutting horizontally as it ground the food. It had the same bluish-green color as her square pump and its little backpack. The pump is connected to the feeding tube which is connected to the mickey button. She often fell asleep listening to the wer wer wer of pump, that is to say, she thought she was asleep simply because she was lying in bed! She was awake when at least one of her parents turned off the pump and unplugged the tube at night. She would just have to lie there staring at it until it was done, dreaming up magical things the entire time. That was where she first dreamed up Kacoia. At first, it was just stories about her friends, but now here she was in her own story! Surely the abilities she was gaining weren’t real, they were just imaginary like Kacoia, and she and her friends would be together in the real world forever!

“Time to eat Hexzonna,” her friends said joyfully but with apprehension that Hexzonna might choke.

 The zebrilla chose the food Hexzonna was to eat. The brightest colors were swallowed by the Skizzer. Then Hexzonna tasted fruits and vegetables together in a liquid. When the creature on the shore, which was called an Apxous, swallowed, Hexzonna swallowed at least three times for each bite. Hexzonna loved the taste of the food! Other people chewed and swallowed food, so eating that way would make her more normal. Hexzonna’s love for Axpous would never die, even as the pump lost its use. 

“We did it!” celebrated the Quaw.

Apxous beeped and Hexzonna bowed in thanks.

“Now you must face your fears!” proclaimed the Quaw.

Then the Quaw led them, lifting its four hooked long legs, to a castle that looked like a jagged rock mountain. Hexzonna saw a beautiful woman who was the mirror image of Hexzonna sitting on a throne.

“Welcome to KACOIA!” she boomed. 

Hexzonna startled! Her vision became blurry, her arms and legs jerked uncomfortably, and the feeling of fear ran through her mind; then it was over, except, why did it make her afraid? “At least,” Hexzonna thought, “She appears not to have noticed.” as her parents always did, and when they said “I’m Sorry,” it was the thing that made her feel different most of all. 

“I have all the power here,” said the Woman ”What are these things with you?

“Hexzonna,” The Clock interjected “This world was created by you! A long time ago you were very ill. When you were on the verge of death, your imagination flourished creating Kacoia. In your world, you are defined by your Cerebral Palsy, but your imagination makes you capable of all things. I and the other creatures here were created from the objects you see around you. All imaginary worlds go to different universes through black holes. you activated the clock to bend the time-space continuum to travel to your imagination. No human has been able to do that but you.”

“You and Hexzonna will speak… ” The Clock spoke and was heard no more.

Dread crept into Hexzonna’s throat, as she began to try and speak clearly!

 “Is wowld wa mean fow me!” Hexzonna proclaimed!

“What did you say?” the woman sneered.

“I can and up hewe,” Hexzonna explained.

“Then you can stand up anywhere” pointed out the woman.

“She untied me with one hand,” said the Skizzer.

“She speaks in words we all can understand,” chimed in Zebrilla.

“And she’s brave enough to speak clearly to you,” added the Quaw.

Axpous whirled its gears angrily!

“So?” the woman sneered.

Hexzonna took a deep breath “A...t Home I am in...side. When I am ou...t…side all I could do wa...s lay down”

“Didn’t anyone expect you to do anything?” the woman was now shocked.

“no, “ said Hexzonna thoughtfully.

“What are those things with you?” looking behind Hexzonna, the woman looked puzzled.

“T..he Zeb...rilla i...s my bo...ton in my st...om...ach s...ee how he s...pins s...o s...he can flo...t if he couldn't she’d lose her balance on the moving ground.” T...his is Skizzer he and I speak wi...th thoughts because he can’t speak. Lig...aut i..s my beloved walk...er th...a...t wen...t t...o th...e junkyard, Ap...x…ous wo...r...ks like my pump. Quaw br...eathes th..r...ough hi...s head like an oxygen t….ank.

“Why did you create me?” sighed the woman.

“My fear of being startled did” stated Hexzonna.

“How did it create me?” asked the woman.

“I...t made me wan...t t..o be nor...mal” Hexzonna’s lip was quivering because she wasn’t sure that was what she wanted anymore!

“Fear is not a thought we can control” pitied the woman. Hexzonna nodded.

“Go to the lake” commanded the woman. “And find out your destiny… only the chosen one won’t drown.” She let them go.

“Hexzonna… I’m going to miss you” sobbed Zebrilla.

“We’re so proud of you” congratulated Skizzer!

“That was so much fun!” exclaimed Ligaut.

“You solve puzzles well” croaked Quaw.

Axpous had tears running down its face.

Hexzonna understood this was goodbye, even though it had no “R,” “S,” or “T” it was the one word she couldn't say.

“Love You” she sobbed, kissing each of them.    

When the ground moved her to the lake Hexzonna discovered it was frozen, in a sort of gelatinous way, and that it had a mirror-like appearance. She fell on top of it and nothing happened. She tried to stand up, but there was nothing to hold her feet in a place like there was on the mountain and she fell again. She grabbed at the lake with her hands, catching a wave, which moved to cause her body to flip… she was standing up! Finally out of frustration, she bent her legs and… jumped, gelatinous goo splattered everywhere as she sank to the bottom. 

“If this works…” Skizzer said although practical Skizzer couldn’t finish the thought for fear of tears.

“The Universe will move on without us, and so will Hexzonna,” said the wise Quaw, His voice flat and distant.

“Let’s release our love” cheered Zebrilla with a fake smile. 

Axpous played a beeping tune as they died.

Hexzonna found herself inside the castle, this time the woman was gone, and Hexzonna put on her crown. For the first time, Hexzoona believed in her abilities, and she knew that’s why she was chosen. But… where were her friends? Hexzonna didn’t notice she had walked outside to look for them until she noticed the blue sea ground was flat! Hexzonna’s breath quickened her pulse. “What have I done?” was Hexzonna’s horrified, heartbroken thought.

Hexzonna felt an emptiness inside, which she would feel for the rest of her life, even as she was happy to appear more normal. It was thus that she found herself in the playroom, and Her parents ran to hug the now-standing Hexzonna. She burst into tears. Her parents just held her while she cried, they didn’t know what else to do! Until they got Hexzonna a computer and she typed Hexzonna's Kacoia In a way, she and her friends would always be together, for she would always love herself through them.

 

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    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy
      People who are out publicly, and openly transgender, maybe on HRT, having changed names and gender, have a lot to lose if anti-trans politicians take power.  They have openly called for our eradication, and promise to do everything they can to accomplish this.  (again, 2025) For someone in this position the election is about our survival.  It's foolish to delude ourselves into thinking "Oh, they don't really mean that.  It's all for show," or, "There's other more important things to concern ourselves with." Maybe for some people the other things take priority.  But if you have skin in the game, things look different.  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      If that happens, a lot of things I don't want to see might also be codified into law.  And some things that shouldn't be law might not get repealed.  To me, progress in one area isn't worth the price we'd have to pay in several other areas.     For me, voting on LGBTQ issues always ends up as an "out of the frying pan, but into the fire" sort of event.  
    • Ivy
      Trying out a new wig. Got my reading glasses on. I've also got dark roots now - first time in years.
    • Vidanjali
      Thea, your post made me think of a comic named Chloe Petts whom I saw recently on Hannah Gadsby's Gender Agenda comedy special on Netflix. She is a cisgender masculine lesbian. She is brilliant and so funny. I was intrigued by her identification - specifically masculine, not butch. And it seems to me there is a difference. 
    • Vidanjali
      Today I had a dr appt. When I checked in, I was asked my surname, which I gave. Apparently there were two patients with appointments at that time with that same surname. The receptionist asked, "Are you (my legal name which is feminine) or Paul?" I got such a kick out of it not being assumed I had the feminine name. 
    • Vidanjali
      That must have felt affirming, albeit perhaps weirdly so. However, I'd construe that more broadly (no pun intended) as sexism rather than misogyny where the latter would imply contempt. Also, incidentally, I've heard chivalry referred to as "benevolent sexism". 
    • MaeBe
      My boss is in a panic. His business is a couple straws away from breaking a camel in half. He's just handling the stress very poorly.   My dad, though. He's handling things pretty well, as long as I continue to don't get massively offended by being called: son, boy, etc. His eldest is leaving the State and looks so different than he's been used to over the years. I haven't told him I'm on HRT, but to be fair the changes haven't been massive. I've always had boobs, more so after COVID weight gain and made more obvious with its loss, but now I'm not hiding them--and obviously wearing a bra. The estrogen has done some work, but nothing major (sadly). I think the biggest HRT changes have been my skin and a mild amount of fat redistribution.   Today I'm wearing my cheater, I almost have cleavage! :D I need to get another t-shirt bra to keep a good rotation. I only have two, one push-up, and the rest are unlined (great for Summer, but not great for my Summer wardrobe ).
    • Justine76
      Thank you so much April! 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Glad to hear it. Abby
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