Imaging what Coming Out might have been like …

[Rianon]

There's been an interesting discussion going on in the General Forum, "How Did You Choose Your New Name." A number of us whose parents, siblings, and closest friends are no longer in our lives (for all sorts of reasons) have been imagining what it might have been like to come out to these very special people: What would it have taken for us to have the courage to come out? and What might our loved ones' reactions been? It's made for some interesting posts, related –– in a strictly "what if" way –– to the topic, "Coming Out."

[Mmindy]

Good evening Rianon,

 

How do I imagine my family would have reacted if I came out... I'm the oldest of 5 children.

 

If I came out while living at home, it would be 1976, my father would want more information, and wish for me to be happy. My mother on the other hand, would smother me in my sleep, believing she was doing God's work. My sister under me, would be helping my mother. My brother would puff puff, exhale, and say whatever dude. I moved out in May 1976, and have been the head of my own house every since.

 

If I came out after moving out while my parents were alive. My mother and my one sister would not speak my name. My father, two brothers, and baby sister would be open to whatever I wanted to do.

 

Today, my sister won't be anywhere that I am. She disowned her daughter after coming out as lesbian. My two brothers, and baby sister can't believe I'm transitioning. They want me to be safe about it, and continue to seek therapy. At least they're still talking to me.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Rianon]

Good morning, Mindy,
 
Your story makes me realize how darn lucky I was, even if I'm only imagining how my parents might have reacted. My guess was that my mother would have cried, not because she was losing a son, but because the idea of gender affirmation would have been new and too much for her to comprehend. On the other hand, my father might have been angry at first, but after a while, he'd have settled down. He'd still not have been accepting; he would just not want to talk about it ("How about you don't bring up that crap again?").

 

If anyone might have had a fierce reaction, it would have been my older brother (14 years older), who was not a particularly sensitive guy, the star of the local hardball team (note: hardball, not sissy softball 🙂 ), and, by the time I was in my early teens, he was in his late teens and loud-mouth ladies' man. I can easily imagine him shouting, "You f**kin' -awesome person-!" –– and after that, having nothing more to do with me. (Which would have been okay with me.)
 
The fun of imagining all this is knowing I might be completely wrong! 😊
 
Cheers!
Rianon