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Coming out to family in-law


Human Creature

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Hello I'm Human Creature. I'm a 29 yo Non-Binary person married to an accepting man. For the past several years I've been exploring and grappling with my gender identity. I came out to my husband about 3 years ago and he has been very accepting of me. I told him pretty early in our relationship as teens that I was queer, which he was fine with, so telling him I'm trans wasn't terribly difficult. I know he loves me and is ok with however I wish to present myself, including in a masculine way. I want to come out to his family so I can throw away the anxiety I have about them accepting me. I'm not sure how to approach it. I have intense anxiety and rarely go outside. I do not often interact with his family because of my anxiety. Recently I've been spending more time with them and not being out is eating me alive. My husband's family is a bit religious. I think his mom and dad would be ok with me coming out but I'm not so sure about his sister or her husband. When I first entered the family my bro inlaw made a -crappy- remark about a trans guy he knew, even pointing him out to me in a crowd and misgendered him. This was like 11 to 12 years ago so I have no idea what he thinks about trans people now. Sorry if I'm a bit scatter brained btw, I'm feeling a bit emotional. I haven't been around much to feel out their views, plus they are trump supporters.... I'm estranged from my own family for non gender related issues, so if I mess up relations with my husband's relatives I'm afraid of ruining their bond. We also rely on them financially. The whole family is quite poor. How do I do this? I can't just blurt out "Hey y'all I'm trans!". I've made some subtle remarks about my gender a few times, like when I was being helped with mental health paperwork and my gender was asked for. I asked if there were any other options then got scared and said nevermind. I also referred to myself as ancle when talking about my niece. While I do accept some feminine titles I'm not sure I like Aunt for myself. Any advice would be much appreciated. Also I'm sorry for my cruddy writing.

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