Non binder/agender

[LittleSam]

Good morning. I've been trying to understand the difference between non binary and agender to help me explore who I am. So far I understand that non binary people don't conform to the traditional roles of male and female, and agender people don't have a gender. I also thought that you can be non binary and not have a gender? You can go by he/she or they/them .You can also be agender and still go by he/she or they/them. Is it possible to be both non binary and agender at the same time? I can't get a clear understanding and maybe there isn't one. I want to identify as non binary, but if I've got the definition wrong, this may not fit me. Basically I am biologically female. I do not consider myself as female, nor male either. I wear mostly all traditional male clothing as I am masc presenting. I am going to start using they/them as my pronouns and am changing my name to a gender neutral name. (Sam) Anyone got any words of wisdom to help me navigate this please? I suppose at the end of the day as long as people respect my new name and pronouns, I suppose that's the main thing.

[Vidanjali]

@LittleSam my understanding is that nonbinary is an umbrella under which agender falls. Nonbinary means you neither ID totally with your sex assigned at birth, nor do you totally ID as the "opposite sex". Nonbinary is a broad category, but it's not a rule. Trans is not a hard rule either. For instance, some nonbinary people ID as trans and others do not. And my understanding of that is there are some nonbinary people who sometimes or only to some degree ID with sex assigned at birth, whereas some never do. Some agender folks also ID as nonbinary and others do not. It's personal - same with pronouns. If nonbinary sounds right to you, then by all means claim it. Identity terms are tools for us to learn about ourselves and become more fully realized. As I see it, we should use those tools as we see fit and not the other way around. 

[emeraldmountain]

@VidanjaliWell said!

[emeraldmountain]

@LittleSamI really think you might get a lot out of that book I mentioned earlier, Gender Magic.

[LittleSam]

Thank you emerald mountain. I have looked that book up, and I will certainly be buying it. I always like recommendations as it's hard to know where to start sometimes. I love reading, so appreciate the recommendation 😁

[emeraldmountain]

You're welcome! I hope you find it helpful.