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By KathyLauren · Posted
Hi, Billie. There is no gradual way to come out to someone. About the only way is just to tell them. The only family I had to tell were my two brothers. Since we are spread all across the country, email was the most practical way to do it. The advantage of email, or any written medium, is that you can take the time to refine your wording and explanation. Even when telling someone in person, some people find that putting it in a letter avoids getting tongue-tied. It may seem a bit odd, "Cous, here's letter I'd like you to read. We'll talk once you've read it", but if it helps get the subject on the table, go for it. Of course, if you feel okay with just saying it out loud, that is usually the best way. The best time to do it is when there are no other tensions between you. Generally, sooner is better than later. However you do it, good luck! I hope it goes well. -
By Billie · Posted
Hi, So I am genderfluid and was wondering how other people have come out to their wider family such as grandparents or cousins. I would like to be called my chosen name Billie and they/them pronouns but I'm not sure if I should make it a big thing and explain, or just kinda say please call me Billie, I'm nonbinary so use they/them pronouns as it is easier and less vulnerable I think, but it also seems inconsiderate as they probably care about and I hope they would be interested as to how I feel. Also is there ever a good time/way to do it? I would love your guys opinion on this. -
By April Marie · Posted
Two different professional makeup looks for me here at the Keystone Conference. This was from Thursday - my first professional makeup session. https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/index.php?/gallery/image/15476-img_9646jpeg/ For tonight's Gala. https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/index.php?/gallery/image/15477-img_9675jpeg/ -
By KathyLauren · Posted
The silence from most Democrats since Jan 20th unfortunately has made this clear. -
By Ivy · Posted
https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/eight-michigan-democrats-defect-to?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=994764&post_id=159552366&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=k5hac&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email Don't think the Democrats won't throw us under the bus in a heartbeat. "Republican Rep. Jason Woolfhard decried trans girls as “males that want to beat up on girls and our women.”" This (“males that want to beat up on girls") is so twisted. The Democrats are not our friends. -
By April Marie · Posted
I always love your look, Ivy! I'm sitting in a hotel room waiting for my nails to dry before putting on my dress for tonight's Gala. I had my makeup done by a professional so now I'm trying not to screw it up while I'm dressing. lol I head home tomorrow and will post a picture when I get home and can download it to the computer. -
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By Ivy · Posted
I'm not optimistic. -
By kat2 · Posted
I am in the minority, i have made that very clear, trying to understand is not a debate it is what it is, that is to say, I do not understand I am not sure of why labels are needed, remember i come from a time, when all i was seeking was body re alignment, I did not ask for pro nouns, i had never heard of gender fluid, i am not part of a pride or flag, i am just an ordinary woman trying to blend in with the other girls around me, when i am roped in and asked for my pro noun, when all i was ever told was to blend in flies in the face of all that i have gone through no, neither is the situation we are now in or rather those that are Transgender, in America at least the whole concept is being eradicated. Because i went under the umbrella of mental illness treatable by a process, it is very different now, the very word Transgender seems to mean a whole range of things and sadly Transsexuals have been caught up in this mess. Lets try another way, there are no medications that say trans patients take this dosage, certainly there was no transgender hospitals there is no transgender ward in a hospital, everything is classed as off label, Surgeries are done by Urologists, nothing exists but then.... does it? well it must do, but wait i don't see it, well thats because it all blends in seamless, there is no noise because there is nothing to see. How would you feel if you are waiting for a scan, a nurse looks up over her computer and said, I can see sensitive information about you, and then grins, how would you feel take into account that the scan was nothing to do with why i was there and you are then confronted, have you had the op? you know, snip? grining whilst it saying it? then, whats your prefered pro noun, I begged the nurse to stop i said that she was upsetting me, and that it was nothing to do with why i was there, i felt violated something well hidden out on a computer screen to be lobbed back at me. -
By Rachel Searching · Posted
For me, if I'm totally honest, it's fear, fear of letting people down. My son sees me as the perfect dad, my mum as the perfect son, the irony being that they see me as this in large part because of my inner dialogue, the contrast between my outward appearance and my character, I am and have always been very different on the inside. Psychologically, I have never been attached to notions of masculinity, needing to judge myself against accepted standards. The very traits people like about me are feminine in nature, yet I'm worried that when they know, they will feel let down and disillusioned. I took on my son at 5 years old, his dad having walked out on him and his mother. I was not like any of the men he knew before then, he sees me as an Aragorn type figure, tough yet sensitive, emotionally intelligent and resilient. I know this because we've spoken about it before, he says I showed him how to be a good man, he's 26 now. As you can see, I think it's understandable how terrifying it is to think about how my reality may effect him. The saving grace is that my wife mentioned it in passing one time, cleverly dropping into a conversation, how would he feel if she or I were actually the opposite gender, to which he replied he would understand. I would expect him to say this in the abstract, it's how we raised him, however, in the real world I just don't know. It's absolutely terrifying for me and the only thing keeping me from living the life I know I should be living. The same situation with my mum, she has always been so incredibly proud of me, I'm torn between being myself and being the person people think I am, it sounds silly I know, but to me, it's a constant thought. -
By Davie · Posted
Best Tongue Twister? Try this one: "Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now If Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a thimble of unsifted thistles, thrusts three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles could thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb, in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter! -
By Vidanjali · Posted
Thanks for that Of course, it's fine to ask questions, however... it may appear we do because... a debate implies there are opposite sides, each trying to convince the other that they're right. And perhaps I am not understanding your communication style, but it seems you are indeed debating over defending that your personal experience and beliefs - that those across the transgender spectrum are noisemakers who have created a "cottage industry" because we want labels to feel special and in so-doing are threatening the lives of binary transexuals - are right and others are wrong. Your experience is valid. There's no question about that. And your beliefs are too; they are your own. But no one's personal experience and beliefs define THE truth. So, instead of debating who's right and who's wrong, we can share and learn to empathize with each other. We can listen to and validate experiences and perspectives. One does not need others to agree with them for their experience and beliefs to be valid. So, when the debate sounds like this: "You're not really valid, don't you think? Don't you agree that you should quit saying you are who you think you are and insisting on visibility and dignity because it's a threat to my well-being? Reply." then it's neither productive nor healthy. Thanks very much for this. This is very clear and I understand where you're coming from and feel for you even though it's not my personal experience. I understand why it's a sad and uncertain time for you. I think it's beautiful that you have gained a clearer perspective on your own identity, and thereby helped others to understand yours. We who do identify as transgender desire the same. It's clear you feel hurt by the transgender population. Likewise, transgender people's desire for visibility, dignity, and rights were never meant to undermine your safety and existence. My hope for all of us is existence with fulfillment, love, and peace. And that may not be reflected in our external circumstances because no one on earth has ever led a life free of challenges. So, that calmness and steadiness comes from within. And that's a lifelong pursuit. Can we turn away from blame and use that energy to pursue goodwill? Goodwill for all. That's the ultimate challenge - to see the humanity in all and to simply deal with the practical reality in front of us. -
By KathyLauren · Posted
It sounds like getting back in is the issue. It will still be handy to have it if you aren't planning on coming back. Hopefully it doesn't get that bad, but it is good to be prepared. -
By Vidanjali · Posted
as well as floating the idea of exceeding 2 presidential terms -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
Did they provide a diagnosis, follow-up treatment, medicine? I agree with Vicky, that it seems like they treated you well, which is great. Carolyn Marie
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