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Ashley's Life from Start to Present


Ashley0616

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I figured if my electrolysis starts in March the earliest, I could have the surgery is late July or August or September which I might have to push it back further of course because Bentley would start school around that time. Unless maybe early August but I don't know might end up having to have to wait till May of next year. Well, I called Social Security yesterday because Medicare was still showing me as Scott. I got that corrected and was also told that my gender wasn't updated when I did the name change. I went to Social Security as soon as they opened. The line wasn't too long thank goodness. I was able to get in and out in 15 minutes. I wanted to get there early to beat the crowd. The only places to change still are my DD Form 214 (Military Discharge Paperwork) and birth certificate. I don't know if I want to get a passport, I don't plan on leaving the US anytime and just don't see a need for it. It would just be another thing to keep up with. I'll probably take care of birth certificate when I see my endocrinologist next month. She has to do up a letter to show that I am trans and receiving care. I'm looking forward to being done with that part. I can't wait to see how my hormone levels are. It's probably one of my favorite appointments. I did find out that my therapist will be leaving me in June so soon I will have had 17therapists in a matter of less than 10 years. I really liked this one because she advocated for me a good bit. They were able to show that I could get hair removal done through the VA. The has been there to tell me about the local LGBTQ groups. No other therapist has even done half of what they did. She did say that there are two other therapists that are LGBTQ supporters that were women which is exactly what I wanted. I didn't feel that a male could understand what and how women feel. I'm hoping one will be able to take me in. She did say she didn't know how busy their load was. I do have some good news for me. I'm starting to get a butt! I'm able to actually pinch it now. Hopefully it'll continue to grow. I still don't have hips, but I do think it's still too early. I will take what I have so far. It got a little warmer the past few days. The high has been in the 60's and 70's. This morning it got to 40 which honestly felt like 50 something. I did find out that my sister will not be able to watch the kids so I can get SRS. I only have one other person to ask and then I'll have to hire a private nanny which that won't be cheap at all! I hope I can find someone that is trustworthy and good enough. I'm only wanting to hire the nanny for like 10 days just so I can get the surgery and recover somewhat. I know I'm still going to be in pain, but I sure can't afford a nanny for the whole process. There aren't any family members who would be willing to help I already know. There are only three people in my family that support me in my journey. They all have jobs and obligations. I'm hoping to have the surgery done in Chicago because I do have one Aunt out of 8 that are up there that support me and are still friends. It would be nice if she could come visit me. Well, I guess this is it for now. 

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Well today has been rough with vertigo episodes so far. It doesn't matter how slow I get up. I still get them. The tension is back again at the back part of the head. I have tried all of the exercises to help alleviate the vertigo episodes and nothing has worked. I'm going to see the audiologist tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be there as long as I did last time I did tests. I was there for almost 2 hours doing all kinds of balancing tests. I have to drive in about 1.5 hours. I'm hoping it goes away so I can drive.

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Prayers for you Ashley,

 

I hope you feel better soon, and tomorrow goes well too.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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3 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Prayers for you Ashley,

 

I hope you feel better soon, and tomorrow goes well too.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Thank you. The migraine is finally gone. Vertigo isn't as bad now as it was earlier. 

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Well, I almost forgot about my audiologist appointment thank goodness for reminders and alarms. I did a hearing test, pressure test, and got moved in different positions. Hearing test still showed that I can't hear high pitched sounds, but I can hear it when it got loud. I mostly guessed. She did say that it was probably related to my tinnitus. Vertigo was differently acting up. They said that the vertigo episodes, migraines and dizziness isn't related to ear problems. She looked at my balance tests back in 2017 and 2021 and both showed that it's related to my three traumatic brain injuries. I will be seen by my primary care physician to go into further investigation of the causes to have their approval about traumatic brain injuries which I already know I have just got to go through their game. 

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TBIs are no joke. I would think the VA would be pretty good about them. If not, they should; I'd think they have the biggest pool of TBI sufferers in any profession per capita outside combat sports.

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Well, I did get some things in the mail. I have a Therma brush which is supposed to help grow hair. I do love my thigh high socks. I wished I would have gotten them earlier. I had my coffee and apparently my stomach wasn't agreeing with the dinner I had last night. I feel great so far, no vertigo or migraines yet! I'm thrilled about that. I unfortunately gained 6 pounds and I don't know why. I'm eating healthy and walking. I wonder if it's the hormones. Good news is that I found a surgeon who would operate on me with the weight I'm at. I'm hoping that I'll get the one in Chicago because I do have someone there that will hopefully visit me. I have been trying to get my pictures off of my old iPod and so far, haven't had any luck. I have a lot of pictures of Iraq that are precious to me. Wish me luck. I will post the pictures when I can finally get them off the iPod. 

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4 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I feel great so far, no vertigo or migraines yet!

Yay! Small victories!

 

5 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I will post the pictures when I can finally get them off the iPod.

Can't wait!

 

💜Mae

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I think I found out the culprit on how I get episodes and vertigo. I was simply cleaning the hose from the dryer and when I bent over it hit me hard. I felt so much pressure in my head. I don't ever get when I'm doing things with the kids. 

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Today is so far so good. I don't feel vertigo, dizziness, no pressure in the head and migraines. I'm afraid to bend down in fear that I might get it all again. I think if it happens again, I'm going to the ER at the VA and see if they can find out what is going on. Gender dysphoria has been really difficult all I want to do is rip/cut it off. It's so annoying that I can't wear some of my dresses because there is a bulge down there. My hair I don't think could grow any slower. I have done everything I can. I take prenatal, two different hair vitamin supplements, I also use special shampoo and conditioner and I even have spray that contains amino acids for the hair to grow too. I also have ordered a serum, another vitamin that I add powder to a drink. I guess I can say I'm a little impatient about it. I have also considered rosemary oil also for hair strength. I'm so looking forward to when my hair is long enough for me to not wear a wig. Which unfortunately the hair is curly and is too short to use a straightener and not mention my split ends. My CPAP really makes my hair a mess. Hopefully after I lose weight, I'm no longer need the machine. I'm sorry if this seems to be a complaint session but just need to get things off my mind. This has pretty much become my journal. I have a full keyboard unlike my phone, and I do love the comments and suggestions. I'm so looking forward to the next board meeting. I was told that maybe next month that they would review my application and was told it would likely get approved. I was told that I had to be a member of another committee and I'm going to choose the outreach program. It will hopefully get me out of my comfort zone and meet new people and explain transgender to the local community. It will bring another purpose and something to look forward to every month. Well, I guess this is it for now. Take care and appreciate anyone who reads these.

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5 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

. My CPAP really makes my hair a mess. Hopefully after I lose weight, I'm no longer need the machine.

Good afternoon Ashley, 

 

Have you tried a satin sleep bonnet for curly hair? I use one when I know I have an early appointment so I don’t have to detangle my hair. If I don’t use the bonnet, I put my hair up into a bun. Both of these hair tips keep me from getting tangled up in my CPAP when I use it. The other benefits of wearing a sleep bonnet is the retention of moisture and product retention in your hair. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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4 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

Good afternoon Ashley, 

 

Have you tried a satin sleep bonnet for curly hair? I use one when I know I have an early appointment so I don’t have to detangle my hair. If I don’t use the bonnet, I put my hair up into a bun. Both of these hair tips keep me from getting tangled up in my CPAP when I use it. The other benefits of wearing a sleep bonnet is the retention of moisture and product retention in your hair. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

I never heard of a sleep bonnet? Sounds like something I'm going to get next pay check. LOL

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My Baby M249 machine gun. I don't have pictures of my 50 cal and my M240. 

249 MG.jpg

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Abraham's house and I'm talking about from the Bible with what remains of it. 

Abraham's House.jpg

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Ah Nasariah this is how close we were to the local terrorist group. 

Ah Nasaria.jpg

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This is when Army was doing their end of tour. Over 40 M1 Abraham tanks.

Army Change Over.jpg

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This is how serious things were over there. There were also plenty of Humvees that were shot up and blown up too. 

Blown Up by IED.jpg

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Me in London in front of the Buckingham Palace

Buckingham Palace.jpg

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Building 1 was claimed to be a school by the Jash Almighty terrorist group which was heavily guarded. It is unknown what was actually in there. They flooded the bottom 3 floors with oil and water mix.

Building 1 A.jpg

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This is were an air to ground bomb went through Building 1.

Building 1 B.jpg

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This is where the bomb landed inside Building 1

Building 1 C.jpg

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This is one of the pictures to show that the bottom three floors were flooded inside of Building 1

Building 1 D.jpg

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This is another picture to show that it was flooded. This building had 2-foot-thick armor doors. 

Building 1 E.jpg

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Art work that was in support of Sadam Hussien. 

Building 1 Mural.jpg

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    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
    • KayC
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    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
    • MaeBe
      Let’s stick to cite-able fact. Most of my posts have been directly in relation to LGBTQ+ rights as it pertains to P2025 and I have drawn direct links between people, their quotes, and their agenda. I have made reference to the cronyism that P2025 would entail as well, by gutting, not cutting, broad swathes of government and replacing it with “conservative warriors” (I can get you the direct quote, but rest assured it’s a quote). All this does is constantly force the cogs to be refitted, not their movement. To say that agencies have directly defied a President is a bit much, the EPA did what Trump told them to do at the direct harm to the environment, the department of agriculture did the same by enacting the administrations forced move to KC which decimated the USDA.      How about Betsy DeVoss for Education? Or Bannon for anything? What about the revolving Chief of Staff position that Trump couldn’t stay filled? Or the Postmaster General, who did much to make the USPS worse?   Let’s not mix politics with racism, sexism, or any other ism. Because Trump made mainly white, male, appointments—many of them not, arguably, people fit for service—or unwilling to commit to term. I can argue this because, again, he’s up for election and will do what he did before (and more of the same, his words).   Please delineate how the selected diversity appointments have negatively affected the US, other than being black, women, or queer? Representation matters and America benefits when its people are inspired and empowered.
    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
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    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
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