My blog (Birdie)

[Birdie]

Hello world! 😁

 

My name is Birdie, and I'm intersex AMAB. 

I didn't always know I had a uterus, but I of course always knew I was intersex (no penis).

Pressuring my doctor a few years ago they found I have both a uterus and fallopian tubes. It's a condition called PMDS. 

 

My teens were quite interesting since this (AMAB) started growing wide hips and breasts. I became quite curvy!

Grandma was the only person in my family that understood me, and she taught me to cook, knit, cater weddings, and even make wedding dresses. I pretty much lived like a girl with hair to my waist and making my own jeans and shirts. 

 

About 17 my father stepped in because his SON wasn't turning out the way he planned. Piano lessons were canceled (piano was sold), and ballet was cancelled as well. 

Grandma was told to stop coddling me, and Dad signed me up for every sport available ( I sucked at everything but tennis and cross-country biking).

A visit to a sports doctor found my T levels extremely low for a male and two years of testosterone treatments started. My father hoped it would stop my breast growth, but it just changed my voice and gave me whiskers. 

 

I had a very violent stepmother, and 'boy-mode' was literally 'beaten into me' (very bloody beatings). 

 

I stayed in 'boy-mode' for 45 years. I was taught that I was a freak of nature and my assets needed to be hidden at all costs. I made my own clothes for the most part hiding behind baggy shirts, vests, and bib overalls. 

 

I married a wife like I assumed was normal, and we lived a kind of 'lesbian relationship' in private (no penis) but straight to the outside world. She insisted that people not notice my curves so she wouldn't be embarrassed.

Needless to say, older age brought larger boobs, and I couldn't really hide them anymore. That was just about the same time one of my stepdaughters came out a lesbian. 

Mum couldn't take anymore, stopped talking to her daughter, packed her bags, and left. 

 

Another website had an acceptance side of gynecomastia (male breasts). I participated on that forum and worked on accepting myself (boobs, curves, and all). 

I soon realised that I am still that cute little girl that grandma was raising, and this boy-mode charade was not who I am. 

 

I'm a woman (I have a womb), I'm not really 'girly' like some of you because I prefer a nice top and Capris everyday. I have dresses, but not not for everyday use (I'm a tomboy). I do take great pride in my hair so I curl it and style it to look pretty. My makeup is 5min in front of the mirror and I don't wear it all the time (sometimes just lip gloss). 

 

I wake up and go out a ME every morning!

 

I have some medical issues that have placed me in a wheelchair, and I attend a day-centre mon-fri for people like myself. That centre unfortunately has a dress-your-gender policy that is being enforced on at least two of us. I barely squeeze by in women's T's and Capris. They have me using the all-gender restroom for obvious reasons. 

The centre addresses me as 'sir', as does the people in my apartment building. That is how they came to know me. 

Everywhere else I am addressed as 'ma'am' about 99% of the time. I seem to pass very well. 

 

There is more to add, perhaps I'll add more later. 

 

 

[Ashley0616]

Nice side of your life except for the center and your parents. 

[Birdie]

9 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Nice side of your life except for the center and your parents. 

My stepmother died young, and I was throwing a party because of her death when my father called to notify me. I know that sounds sick, but I still carry scars from her all over me. 

 

I forgave my father years ago, and we have a good relationship (he doesn't know about Birdie).

He's in this 90's, I'll not disturb him with that. 

 

The centre is in conservative Texas, it is what it is!

Because of large breasts I'm allowed use of a bra, and I dress off the women's rack. I even wear lip gloss. I think we have reached a happy medium.