Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My blog (Birdie)


Birdie

Recommended Posts

Hello world! 😁

 

My name is Birdie, and I'm intersex AMAB. 

I didn't always know I had a uterus, but I of course always knew I was intersex (no penis).

Pressuring my doctor a few years ago they found I have both a uterus and fallopian tubes. It's a condition called PMDS. 

 

My teens were quite interesting since this (AMAB) started growing wide hips and breasts. I became quite curvy!

Grandma was the only person in my family that understood me, and she taught me to cook, knit, cater weddings, and even make wedding dresses. I pretty much lived like a girl with hair to my waist and making my own jeans and shirts. 

 

About 17 my father stepped in because his SON wasn't turning out the way he planned. Piano lessons were canceled (piano was sold), and ballet was cancelled as well. 

Grandma was told to stop coddling me, and Dad signed me up for every sport available ( I sucked at everything but tennis and cross-country biking).

A visit to a sports doctor found my T levels extremely low for a male and two years of testosterone treatments started. My father hoped it would stop my breast growth, but it just changed my voice and gave me whiskers. 

 

I had a very violent stepmother, and 'boy-mode' was literally 'beaten into me' (very bloody beatings). 

 

I stayed in 'boy-mode' for 45 years. I was taught that I was a freak of nature and my assets needed to be hidden at all costs. I made my own clothes for the most part hiding behind baggy shirts, vests, and bib overalls. 

 

I married a wife like I assumed was normal, and we lived a kind of 'lesbian relationship' in private (no penis) but straight to the outside world. She insisted that people not notice my curves so she wouldn't be embarrassed.

Needless to say, older age brought larger boobs, and I couldn't really hide them anymore. That was just about the same time one of my stepdaughters came out a lesbian. 

Mum couldn't take anymore, stopped talking to her daughter, packed her bags, and left. 

 

Another website had an acceptance side of gynecomastia (male breasts). I participated on that forum and worked on accepting myself (boobs, curves, and all). 

I soon realised that I am still that cute little girl that grandma was raising, and this boy-mode charade was not who I am. 

 

I'm a woman (I have a womb), I'm not really 'girly' like some of you because I prefer a nice top and Capris everyday. I have dresses, but not not for everyday use (I'm a tomboy). I do take great pride in my hair so I curl it and style it to look pretty. My makeup is 5min in front of the mirror and I don't wear it all the time (sometimes just lip gloss). 

 

I wake up and go out a ME every morning!

 

I have some medical issues that have placed me in a wheelchair, and I attend a day-centre mon-fri for people like myself. That centre unfortunately has a dress-your-gender policy that is being enforced on at least two of us. I barely squeeze by in women's T's and Capris. They have me using the all-gender restroom for obvious reasons. 

The centre addresses me as 'sir', as does the people in my apartment building. That is how they came to know me. 

Everywhere else I am addressed as 'ma'am' about 99% of the time. I seem to pass very well. 

 

There is more to add, perhaps I'll add more later. 

 

 

Link to comment
9 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Nice side of your life except for the center and your parents. 

My stepmother died young, and I was throwing a party because of her death when my father called to notify me. I know that sounds sick, but I still carry scars from her all over me. 

 

I forgave my father years ago, and we have a good relationship (he doesn't know about Birdie).

He's in this 90's, I'll not disturb him with that. 

 

The centre is in conservative Texas, it is what it is!

Because of large breasts I'm allowed use of a bra, and I dress off the women's rack. I even wear lip gloss. I think we have reached a happy medium. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 334 Guests (See full list)

    • Birdie
    • Ashley0616
    • April Marie
    • dezy00
    • Alisa Anne
    • whitewidow2
    • SilasG
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      81.6k
    • Total Posts
      778.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      8,634
    • Most Online
      8,356

    dezy00
    Newest Member
    dezy00
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ann A
      Ann A
      (48 years old)
    2. Borneheld
      Borneheld
      (61 years old)
    3. Dakota_BN
      Dakota_BN
      (37 years old)
    4. KylieD
      KylieD
      (39 years old)
    5. smaczna
      smaczna
      (64 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Well I have been talking to this woman for two days and have a good bit in common. She deals with early education and is only 70 miles away from me. Finally not someone to where I would have to get a plane ticket to. We are planning on meeting up this Saturday for coffee. I even have her coffee order memorized. Her brother is just a year older than me. She said that he is not going to be hard to get him to like me. Her mom I don't know yet. I'll have to do more digging around. She can't have kids of her own but she does love them. She has given me a voice memo and I have already played it like a dozen times. I met her on Facebook dating. She is just a little younger than me. Her birthday is in December. I thinking about getting her perfume for Christmas. She says that she doesn't even spend more than 30 dollars on perfume. I'm going to spoil her. The others have ghosted me which I was getting slight hints. 
    • Jayne
      Thank you for your kind comments.  I don’t know yet, I might do? She wants to talk on the phone next session,  she might suggest video for the one after? There is group video sessions I can join in with,  the times are a bit wrong for me as I will be at work. You look beautiful too. Hugs and kisses 🥰 
    • Carolyn Marie
      I doubt if there is anything you could tell them that would be "the wrong thing."  Explain to them how you have felt, what your goals are, and what your immediate needs are, and I'm sure they will ask all the right questions.  Be honest, be persistent, and don't take "No" for an answer.  Good luck!   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      Congratulations on starting the journey to womanhood, Silas. It can be a wonderful experience, but it comes with twists and turns and obstacles, at times.  You've started off on the right foot by finding a therapist.  If they don't contact you in a day or two I would reach out to them again.  They should at least tell you if they are too busy or whatever.   There are a great number of useful threads in the MtF Forum and other forums to find great advice from people who have gone through the process.  My advice includes being patient, being persistent and being willing to make adjustments to whatever comes your way.  If you have health insurance, it's a good idea to see if your coverage has exclusions for transition-related medical expenses, what approvals are required, and the appeals process.   We'll help out with any other specific questions you have.  Wishing you luck and success!   Carolyn Marie
    • Birdie
      I have renters insurance with a $500 deductible, so worse case scenario it costs me $500.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow, that sux.  Hopefully the damage isn't bad, and you can get compensation for it.  Crazy that your apartment owner doesn't think they owe you anything.  Getting something out of another tenant might be like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip...
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Yeah, the annual October exercises are always 2 sides.  Sometimes they'll even add a "third actor" to simulate interference and add chaos. The scenario can be either Federal or foreign invasion, sometimes they simulate organized/disorganized civil unrest.  This year was bigger than in the past.  I'm not really sure how it all works, since I'm not part of it.  But oh, it is so noisy!  Afterwards, there's a lot of discussion and analysis, just trying to improve everybody's skills and thinking in case we have trouble here.  Its sad this is part of our world now - 2020 changed everything for us.    5 years later, our area looks and feels really different.  In many ways, its been good.  We have lots more local business and local industry, and more diverse local agriculture.  We're much more resilient.  People are more connected to each other, and response to disasters like fires and tornadoes is much more comprehensive.  My county has a mutual-aid agreement with a couple of other counties, which has been helpful.  I'm not sure what the future holds, but hopefully we're in better shape than we were before. 
    • April Marie
      Yeah! I'm glad that it went ok. I think you'll find that you will be more open and will get more as you become more comfortable talking about your feelings with her.   Will you be doing video conferences at all? I found that being seen on my therapy calls, as well as participating in the transgender Zoom sessions, was extremely validating and helped build my confidence and self-acceptance.   And, of course, you look beautiful!
    • Jayne
      Had my first session with my therapist today, it was only done through messaging  but the next time she wants to talk to me on the phone. We just talked about how I feel and what makes me happy.  Never really got much out of it today but it is only the first session. Over the next week she wants me to think about what it means to be transgender and what I want from it? See how my next one goes, by all, hugs and kisses 🥰 
    • Jani
      When I was younger I won an award at an art show for a painting.  I've also taken first place in multiple auto racing events. 
    • Jani
      Haha, keep your day job!
    • Willow
      Good morning    it’s Monday and I actually got to sleep in. I go in to work at 11:00!  And we have all four management working together.  Not something normal.  It is a “truck” day meaning we get deliveries but we have plenty of stock so the delivery should be small.   @awkward-yet-sweet that sounds like quite a war game. Do you split the group up so that there are two sides or are the drills just one group working together?     have a good Monday, be safe.  South Carolina has been having a series of earthquakes again,  this time in the foothills.  Before they were all centered in the central area.  Clearly the Atlantic plate is moving again.   Willow
    • Birdie
      As I was leaving much of the drywall on the ceiling collapsed. I won't know the extent of damage to my things until I get back there this afternoon. 
    • Ivy
      Yikes. I hope there wasn't much actual damage to your apartment.  Getting stuck with the bill sucks as well.
    • Ivy
      Ah, this is complicated. I have no desire to be "Mom" myself.  I'm quite satisfied that "Mom" is my ex.  But since we are "Exes" and our kids are adults, it doesn't come up. I was once was talking to a lady at the laundromat who remembered my family (we were a bit infamous) and thought I was the mom.  I just laughed and corrected her, I was the "dad." It actually flattered me just a bit at the time, since I have serious doubts about my "passing." But, I can understand your wife's position.  Hopefully she will come to not perceive you as a threat to her place in the family.  A woman who has carried and birthed a child (and more) has certainly earned "Mom." But we have little control over how others perceive us. In public I prefer to be called by my name by my kids.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...