Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

     

    Note, Admirers are not welcomed here.

Wearing a dress for the first time


Avra

Recommended Posts

Not quite sure where to put this so I put it here.

 

Today I went to get my hair done again and I decided to do the "unthinkable" and wear one of my cute dresses. My hair salon is very LGBT friendly and my hairdresser is super sweet, so I knew in my heart that I had nothing to worry about but my mind was racing up to the point I walked in the door. All in all, it was the best day of my life (so far) and I can say to anyone struggling with this, just do it, specifically if you know you're going to be safe where you're going. Now if only I could get my friends and family on board.

Link to comment

I know how you felt! My first time was a real dive into the deep end! I had come out to my work colleagues, and a couple of weeks later my boss told me she had arranged for me to travel to another city to attend a seminar on transitioning at work, then the next day I found out the 6 people I worked with were coming as well. My boss and the other ladies were insisting I wore a dress for the trip, but I had never worn a dress outside my house.

 

The trip involved a 30 minute car trip to a railway station, and 80 minute train journey, and walking 3 city blocks from the station to the venue. I not only had to face my colleagues, but general public on the train trip and walk through a crowded city. To make it worse, there was a protest near the venue, and I had to explain my reason to be there to a police security line and there were network TV cameras everywhere! I survived the journey, and attended the seminar, then we went to a crowded riverside restaurant, where I had to visit the ladies toilet!

 

I must admit, after compliments from my colleagues, and nobody on the train trip posting at me, I started to feel comfortable. The toilet visit was scary, but nothing happened, and I felt elated. The trip home was far less stressful. I was dreading my first public outing, and was still in the mindset that I would never pass in public, so this experience was life changing. I realised that it would be possible for me to get by unnoticed in public, and, for the first time ever, that social transition might be possible!

 

I was committed to transition, so I had to jump this hurdle at some time, but I know I would have kept putting it off without the support of my colleagues, and I will be forever grateful to them. It also changed the relationship with my wife as she also realised my transition was certain now...

 

The image below is from that day with my colleagues.

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

Screenshot 2023-12-20 at 10.28.23 am.png

Link to comment

Wow Avra what a brave soul you are.Don't all beginners dream of making that move,I certainly do.You have just lifted my spirits no end.I have invited my siblings to my house this Thur and I've had 'cold feet' coming on just thinking about it.I was full of confidence when I made the invite and now I can't seem to feel the buzz when I need it.There is still time.I only came out to them five weeks ago and they were very supportive.When I don't feel that buzz I think the wole thing must have gone away and that I've made a terrible mistake.That has happened a few times but it seems to pass and when It does I can't wait to put on a dress and do some makeup again.Have you found that your not always buzzing with excitement and that it comes an goes.?I'm 67 and living in Ireland.It's the up and down of feelings I'm trying to deal with at the moment.If you were here I would give you a big hug for your bravery.I'm so happy for you.Love Keera

Link to comment
  • Admin

Other than one Halloween short trip, my first time out in public was with a group of girls from a CD Boutique two days after my 58th Birthday present to myself of a complete makeover at the boutique. (I am 75 now)  It was a Saturday, and the routine at the place was for a bunch of the girls and the shop owners to go out to dinner, and then some would go to a Trans friendly night club.  The dinner was at a restaurant that featured Drag and Gay performers portraits on the wall, but which had great food.  I am still friends with a few of the remaining ones that went there that night.  My only problem that night was that I had on shoes that were too small and blistered my feet up pretty badly.  In the Fall of 2011 I went to a convention and was full time for 5 days, went home in male mode because the convention was a 6 hour flight from my home area. I shucked that off and went full time three days after.

 

You did wonderfully well there @Avra,  each and every time you go out as YOU it becomes easier and more natural to be that way.  Keep going girl.

Link to comment

Going out in public for the first time was hard.  I did finally do it, but I had to do it alone, and it was terrifying.  But it gets easier. 

 

This is a poem I wrote about one of the times it was too hard and I chickened out.

 

 

Mask

 

 

In the parking lot now

I turn off the engine

And sit

 

Smoothing the skirt over my legs

I look down

 

Toenails a lovely coral shade

Setting off the subdued greens and browns

Of this skirt

 

Hand on the door now

I cannot open it

I stay in the car seat

Trembling…

 

I did not wear my mask

 

How strange…

 

I come here nearly every day

But always in my mask

 

I had hoped

Today

Things might change…

 

But drive home again

 

My mask and I go way back

It helps me feel like one of the boys

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I remember my first time. it was great until I walked in the door at home. but that was along time ago. My wife is still against it. Yet, in early Aug she let me wear a sundress all day on a drive to Red Lodge MT. Even going out for dinner. So, I don't know.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
26 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

I remember my first time. it was great until I walked in the door at home. but that was along time ago. My wife is still against it. Yet, in early Aug she let me wear a sundress all day on a drive to Red Lodge MT. Even going out for dinner. So, I don't know.

 

Kymmie

 

Kymmie, in November 1999 my wife accepted I was trans and agreed to marry me. She gave me a satin nightie set for Christmas, and within a couple of years, agreed to me being myself full time at home. We had a wonderful marriage for 20 years until I had to socially transition. She even drove me to and from the hospital for my op, but all that time she was in silent agony about me being trans. She tried so hard to get through this with me, but, as dysphoria was killing me, my being trans was ruining her life. It almost killed me to lose her, but I love her enough to want her to be happy.

 

 I hope this works out for you both.

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

Link to comment

The first time I ever went outside in a dress was alone, on a whim, on Mardi Gras in Sydney in 2012. Every single person I met was nice to me that night, and I went out every weekend for about the next six months, but only after dark. At the end of that six months I spent three days seriously considering whether I should transition. (Somehow I forgot this until I read about it in my journal nine years later.) But I was too scared and purged my wardrobe and met my future wife two weeks later.

 

On the morning of New Years Day 2022, I finally wore a dress (actually a skirt) in daylight. I’d been up all night at two clubs in Hobart, Tasmania, and a man had asked me out for coffee when the second club closed. The sun was up and we had coffee and… nothing bad happened. I caught a cab back to my friend’s house where I was staying, had breakfast and went straight out again, spending several hours at MONA art gallery, where — you guessed it — nothing bad happened. It was such a relief.
 

What cuts me to the bone is the memory — I’ll never forget it — of the first time I ever had the urge to go outside in a dress. It was 1984-85, I think; I was about 11 years old. I had been dressing in secret since I was 6 or 7, but this time something clicked: I… liked myself. Immediately I wanted to go out in the street (we lived in a small town in the Adelaide Hills) and show myself off. But just as quickly I realised I could never do that, and resolved to never tell anyone my secret. I kept that promise to myself for almost 30 years.

 

Congratulations, @Avra. You just took a huge step in the right direction.

Link to comment
17 hours ago, AllieJ said:

I know how you felt! My first time was a real dive into the deep end! I had come out to my work colleagues, and a couple of weeks later my boss told me she had arranged for me to travel to another city to attend a seminar on transitioning at work, then the next day I found out the 6 people I worked with were coming as well. My boss and the other ladies were insisting I wore a dress for the trip, but I had never worn a dress outside my house.

 

The trip involved a 30 minute car trip to a railway station, and 80 minute train journey, and walking 3 city blocks from the station to the venue. I not only had to face my colleagues, but general public on the train trip and walk through a crowded city. To make it worse, there was a protest near the venue, and I had to explain my reason to be there to a police security line and there were network TV cameras everywhere! I survived the journey, and attended the seminar, then we went to a crowded riverside restaurant, where I had to visit the ladies toilet!

 

I must admit, after compliments from my colleagues, and nobody on the train trip posting at me, I started to feel comfortable. The toilet visit was scary, but nothing happened, and I felt elated. The trip home was far less stressful. I was dreading my first public outing, and was still in the mindset that I would never pass in public, so this experience was life changing. I realised that it would be possible for me to get by unnoticed in public, and, for the first time ever, that social transition might be possible!

 

I was committed to transition, so I had to jump this hurdle at some time, but I know I would have kept putting it off without the support of my colleagues, and I will be forever grateful to them. It also changed the relationship with my wife as she also realised my transition was certain now...

 

The image below is from that day with my colleagues.

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

Screenshot 2023-12-20 at 10.28.23 am.png

Oh wow, that's really cool to have supportive colleagues! The bathroom thing would be a concern for me, since outside of my hair salon I'm not really out and still use the men's washrooms. Segregated washrooms in my opinion should go the way of black segregation - that is, get rid of it. It's equally as stupid. But we're not quite there yet.

Link to comment
16 hours ago, Keera said:

Wow Avra what a brave soul you are.Don't all beginners dream of making that move,I certainly do.You have just lifted my spirits no end.I have invited my siblings to my house this Thur and I've had 'cold feet' coming on just thinking about it.I was full of confidence when I made the invite and now I can't seem to feel the buzz when I need it.There is still time.I only came out to them five weeks ago and they were very supportive.When I don't feel that buzz I think the wole thing must have gone away and that I've made a terrible mistake.That has happened a few times but it seems to pass and when It does I can't wait to put on a dress and do some makeup again.Have you found that your not always buzzing with excitement and that it comes an goes.?I'm 67 and living in Ireland.It's the up and down of feelings I'm trying to deal with at the moment.If you were here I would give you a big hug for your bravery.I'm so happy for you.Love Keera

Thanks, this makes me feel less crazy, that I'm not the only one who has these fears. You got this! As for the excitement, I think it might fade somewhat once you begin to feel comfortable and realize that this is really you, but the peace of being yourself will never truly go away. I personally love cute dresses - they always excite me so I haven't reached that point myself yet. Hope that answers your question? Thanks for the virtual hug. 😊🤗

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Ivy said:

Going out in public for the first time was hard.  I did finally do it, but I had to do it alone, and it was terrifying.  But it gets easier. 

 

This is a poem I wrote about one of the times it was too hard and I chickened out.

 

 

Mask

 

 

In the parking lot now

I turn off the engine

And sit

 

Smoothing the skirt over my legs

I look down

 

Toenails a lovely coral shade

Setting off the subdued greens and browns

Of this skirt

 

Hand on the door now

I cannot open it

I stay in the car seat

Trembling…

 

I did not wear my mask

 

How strange…

 

I come here nearly every day

But always in my mask

 

I had hoped

Today

Things might change…

 

But drive home again

 

My mask and I go way back

It helps me feel like one of the boys

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beautifully sad poem. I get that - feeling alone is hard. I usually feel that way too but not in this case. I long for a day everyone can be as loving and accepting as at my salon. I just felt like one of the girls and my hairdresser always makes me feel so pretty even when I don't always feel so myself.

Link to comment
10 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I remember my first time. it was great until I walked in the door at home. but that was along time ago. My wife is still against it. Yet, in early Aug she let me wear a sundress all day on a drive to Red Lodge MT. Even going out for dinner. So, I don't know.

 

Kymmie

I love sundresses and camis but alas I have way too much body hair to actually look good in them. 🥺

Link to comment

Congratulations on your big step. Heck I practically only wear dresses. I have over a hundred of them. I do wear jeans and occasional yoga pants. 

Link to comment
34 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Heck I practically only wear dresses.

This is me also.  I can't actually remember the last time I had pants on.  It might have been some bibs I put on to snake out a clogged drain line.  I didn't like it.

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Congratulations on your big step. Heck I practically only wear dresses. I have over a hundred of them. I do wear jeans and occasional yoga pants. 

Thanks! Same, but never in public before. Maybe not over 100 but significantly more than my "going out" "fake me" clothes.

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Ivy said:

This is me also.  I can't actually remember the last time I had pants on.  It might have been some bibs I put on to snake out a clogged drain line.  I didn't like it.

Pants have a place I suppose, but yeah, I don't like them at all. Shirts are fine but I haven't worn a men's shirt in years, even in public. Those aren't as obvious as a full blown dress though.

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

This is my wardrobe so far and I’m getting more of course. 

IMG_1850.jpeg

Wow. I would get lost in there haha. I also would probably not want to leave until I tried on every one. 😁

 

I love your signature quote btw!

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hi all well I've bitten the bullet and gone out in public in a favourite maxi dress for the first time.That was just four days ago.Now to make it as easy as possible for myself I went out after midnight in stormy weather and wore a hooded jacket with the hood up! I felt very comfortable and excited as I strolled along feeling the dress blowing against my legs.I did a ten minute walk in my local area which felt just right for my first time.

The only people I 'saw' were two women chatting at a house door.I looked at them and they looked at me but I never got closer to them then about twenty yards.I never saw anyone after that but it didn't diminish my delight at my 'little' achievement.

I wanted more of the same so I strode out the following night at the same time in the same way taking the same route and I never saw a single person on that occasion but I was happy.

Last night I went again but at an earlier time of 7.30 wanting some people to see me in my dress.I had to stop to allow a car to pass and they had a good look and I was so pleased.I didn't meet anyone else after that which surprised me given the early hour though it was still stormy.

All in all a very exciting if daunting experience........baby steps confidence grows.

Love Keera

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Keera said:

Hi all well I've bitten the bullet and gone out in public in a favourite maxi dress for the first time.That was just four days ago.Now to make it as easy as possible for myself I went out after midnight in stormy weather and wore a hooded jacket with the hood up! I felt very comfortable and excited as I strolled along feeling the dress blowing against my legs.I did a ten minute walk in my local area which felt just right for my first time.

The only people I 'saw' were two women chatting at a house door.I looked at them and they looked at me but I never got closer to them then about twenty yards.I never saw anyone after that but it didn't diminish my delight at my 'little' achievement.

I wanted more of the same so I strode out the following night at the same time in the same way taking the same route and I never saw a single person on that occasion but I was happy.

Last night I went again but at an earlier time of 7.30 wanting some people to see me in my dress.I had to stop to allow a car to pass and they had a good look and I was so pleased.I didn't meet anyone else after that which surprised me given the early hour though it was still stormy.

All in all a very exciting if daunting experience........baby steps confidence grows.

Love Keera

I'm so excited for you, Keera!! That must have felt so good. So empowering. Congratulations!!!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 46 Guests (See full list)

    • This Ichi
    • Nats
    • Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      82.3k
    • Total Posts
      786.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      9,069
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Michelle Mendez
    Newest Member
    Michelle Mendez
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. arlekino
      arlekino
      (36 years old)
    2. Carla1965
      Carla1965
      (60 years old)
    3. EmberineW
      EmberineW
      (34 years old)
    4. HenryW
      HenryW
      (55 years old)
    5. LateToEden
      LateToEden
      (37 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      Don't touch those chickens, AYS, unless you've got gloves on, and don't let them near any cows.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      I think everyone, including Rep. Green, realizes that this impeachment isn't going to go anywhere.  What concerns me is that it isn't really serious, and neither is the "proposal" by the Oval Office inhabitant.  I don't think members of Congress, of either party, should be initiating a very serious action for a half baked (or unbaked) "proposal."  Nothing has been initiated, no military or other action has been done, nothing has been set in motion.  All that has happened is that The Guy held a press conference and said something most people consider unworkable at best, and plain stupid at worst.  That is not a valid rational for impeachment.  If it was, every 3rd or 4th press briefing in the modern history of the White House would have resulted in the same.   There will be plenty - probably 4-6 or more, actual things done by this President over the next four years that will be deserving of impeachment.  We should wait for one of them, and not this ridiculous press briefing that was just an excuse to get his face on the front page for three days and spout drivel.   Carolyn Marie
    • Lilis
      @Heather Shay thanks! 💗   For me, emotional healing begins with self compassion and acknowledging my feelings without judgment.   Setting boundaries to protect my well-being is just as important. Too many times, I’ve placed my heart in the wrong hands, and losing pieces of myself in the process can be deeply painful.   Healing, like everything in life, comes with its ups and downs there will be both good and difficult moments, but each step forward is a step toward wholeness.
    • VickySGV
      I would suggest that you  call or visit your nearest LGBTQ Center for recommendations of safe nightclubs in your area.  I have visited your area and know that there are a good number of night clubs there that welcome Cross Dressers where you can meet the others in person.  You might also check with your Chamber of Commerce there in Ft. Lauderdale since they have encouraged CD conventions over the years even with your governors POV on things.   
    • Davie
      Al Green, a Texas representative, says Trump proposal to ‘take over Gaza’ is a ‘dastardly deed’ amounting to ethnic cleansing and he's filing impeachment articles against Trump. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/05/al-green-trump-impeachment-articles-gaza
    • Davie
      Texas representative filing impeachment articles against Trump over Gaza plan. Trump proposal to ‘take over Gaza’ is a ‘dastardly deed’ amounting to ethnic cleansing. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/05/al-green-trump-impeachment-articles-gaza  
    • MaryEllen
      I'm a bit confused here. You say you're waiting to see the letter F on your birth certificate, yet you stated on your profile that Female is your birth gender. Would you be so kind as to clarify this inconsistency. Thanks.   MaryEllen
    • JackieLynn
      Finding out my legal name and gender change hearing will be on the 18th. I already did do the paperwork last month sending that in. Came in the mail today and cannot wait to see Jackie Lynn and the letter F on my birth certificate
    • MaryEllen
      Yes, please do note that we are not a sex or dating site. The following is from our Community Rules.   Please note that TransPulse is not a sex or dating site. Anyone attempting to use the site for those purposes will be immediately and permanently banned.
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, @Michelle Mendez.  Please have a look around the various Forums for good advice and a chance to meet other members.   I do want to caution you that this isn't a dating site.  If you want to share personal info with any members you must do so via PM and not in the public forums.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Michelle!!! I'm sure you'll find like-minded people here who will share information with you. Feel free to wander around, aske questions or just jump into conversations where you feel comfortable.   You may also want to drop by the introductions forum to tell everyone a little about yourself.
    • Sally Stone
      Hi Gloria,   I think it is so incredible that you are approaching this in such a positive way.  Heather and April have already made good recommendations, so all I can add is that as your relationship progresses, maintain open and honest communication.  I have been married for more than forty years and my wife and I attribute our success living with my feminine side primarily because of healthy and honest communication.  We have had a few rough patches over the  years but we have always gotten through them by communicating with each other.   I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck.
    • rhonda74
      Government agencies scrub LGBTQ web pages and remove info about trans and intersex people *This also includes disabling social media accounts that support about lgbt+ I hope we still have a place here by this Friday night.  
    • Michelle Mendez
      Hi I new and just looking to meet like-minded people like me. I'm a straight guy that likes to dress up to the nines completely but have no other crossdressing friends or real women to do it with. I would love to find people near me to get all dressed up and maybe go out where that is acceptable but I do not know where and no one to talk to about it.  I'm straight so people like me would be great and genetic women also to help me on that journey.  Thanks Michelle 
    • VickySGV
      It is the easy, weak target, just like a beer can on a tree stump, or yes, the side of an abandoned barn.  Although more in line with the target practice used on the road side memorial maker to a murdered teenager from years ago. When we get enough meaningful laws prosecutions and jail sentences for batterers and killers of Trans people and that type comes to realize it, they sadly will go onto another marginalized group on any pretext they can find. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...