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An actual femme hairstyle?


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I'm AMAB, and for years I've identified as bi-gender and have gone back and forth between female and male presentation--but now I'm fairly certain I'm moving into trans woman as an identity.


I grew my hair out but have only ever had it trimmed, never cut into a style, because I needed to be able to tie it back into a ponytail for male mode.




(That said, I've been increasingly gendered female even when in ostensible male mode.)


I do a lot of styling with my hair when there's time and an occasion for it, and I especially love vintage (40s/50s-style) looks (this is after an evening of dancing, so it's not as tidy as it was when I styled it.)




So now, though, I'll have the option of having my hair actually cut into a style. I don't expect I'll need to be able to look male any more, so that's great, but I don't want to create a nuisance for myself (for instance, getting bangs, not liking them, and spending months and months growing them out and always having them in my eyes), and I don't want to get a hairstyle that would prevent me from styling it in the ways I like (like the whole vintage thing), but maybe I could get a hairstyle that frames my face better, gives me a bit more volume, etc.


I've tried a few online hairstyle tools, but I'm not sure how helpful they are, because I'm not sure they're showing me the way those styles would actually look on me, for instance with my higher-than-the-average-woman's hairline and the lower amount of volume I have up top. Does anyone have suggestions for tools, hairstyles, starting points, ways to decide? I could always leave it as is, since that's been working fine, but I suspect there might be a better option for me.



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The biggest issue I've noticed for trans girls (in my very limited experience with my friends) is hair volume....which goes along with what you've identified.  I guess a lot of AMAB folks have hair that tends to lay flat, even when grown long?  High forehead also tends to look more masculine. 


I'm no hairstylist, but here's a couple of suggestions based on your photos:


1.  Change where you part your hair.  I notice that it parts above your left eye...move the part lower and farther to the left.  That will give you the option of sweeping a couple of locks across your forehead to lower the hairline. 


2.  For volume, wash your hair frequently, use conditioner, blow it dry, and follow up with hairspray.  Its funny, but my husband is probably the vainest guy I've ever run into when it comes to hair.  At the moment, he's got a bit more hair than I do, and I'm AFAB.  🤣  But that's his method - shower, conditioner, blow dry, hairspray.  Actually, he showers before bed, and then again in the morning, using bar soap instead of shampoo.  I think it depends on your heritage and skin type, because the biggest enemy of fluffy hair is grease...and my husband has a lot of that.  Any hair spray will do, but he uses the stuff from Walmart.  Big cans, Tresemme "Extra Hold" brand, from Wallyworld.  With fluffy hair, combing, and spray...you can make your hairstyle stand at least 1 inch off your scalp. 


3.  It may just be my own tastes, but I believe that when it comes to lipstick and other cosmetics, less is more.  My two MtF trans friends have shifted away from wearing intensely colored lipstick.  I made the observation that I thought they were trying a bit too hard, that their natural beauty was feminine enough and the lipstick and other cosmetics were actually a bit distracting.  They've gone with less cosmetics in recent months, and I think they've gone from "great" to "gorgeous." 


Of course, these three things are just my opinion, and worth only what you paid for it 😏  Just be yourself, experiment with styles, and if you need a good shopping spot, I think that Sally Beauty Supply is a pretty good store.  IDK if they've got locations in your part of Vermont, but hopefully they do. 

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