How Much Is Transgender A Part Of Your Identity?

[Guest AshleyRF]

It's hard to say that it's not a part of my identity because I know the truth. I would not be the same person had I just been born a natal female. As much as I hate it there is no escaping it as a reality. I was raised as a boy. That has influenced my identity and behaviors to some degree.

That being said, it isn't something I give much thought to anymore. I just view myself as nothing more than a woman. Yes, I am different than natal women, but I'm still just a woman.

[Guest ChloëC]

I was born a human, and one of the things that I think makes us part of that is that many (if not most or perhaps all to a degree) want to belong, be a part of, (maybe find acceptance) something, somewhere. It seems to me society so far has labelled two sexes, male and female. So most of when born are looked at and labelled as one or the other, and all sorts of things then kick in.

And then as the years go by, we find that a lot of us don't seem to belong to either of those groups and presto, society has conveniently sub-labelled some more groups tg, ts, cd, etc. and now we can belong again. But society also seems to have attached a stigma to these sub-labels, like they're ok, but just not quite as good as male/female - which don't seem to have any kind of stigma attached.

So, now, we seem to have to choose - are we who we feel we are (or have mostly always been)? or are we one of these sub-labels. Either choice seems to have problems.

But in thinking about it all, I have to ask - Why? Why do we have to choose, why do we only these choices? Why is there some stigma attached to anything that isn't purely male or female? And why do we do this to ourselves - or let others do it do us?

I for one am not particularly thrilled in saying that I'm a cd, with tv and sometimes ts tendencies. That is just too much, thank you. I'm me .

[Guest gentleman1]

I identify as a transexual, FTM to be specific. I am NOT a cisgendered male nor will I ever be as much as I might have wished it to be so from birth. That having been said, I consider myself to be "dual-gendered" with a much stronger identity in the MALE gender. But I find it un-necessary to completely avoid any and ALL things (just most) feminine. I lived for 37 years in the female gender. I feel no need to erase that. And this is just part of my identity. I am also a very caring, loving, sensitive PERSON. And I do feel somewhat "cut off" from the general population due to this condition to some extent. All of my friends are other FTMs. I do not feel very safe making friends in the cis-gendered world especially among other men. This used to bother me, but now I have ceased to care. I will do what I do, hang out with whomever I choose and at least remain OPEN to hanging out with cisgendered people. -S.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Its interesting, when I first began my transition (and it wasnt that long ago) the transgender part was strong and I needed to let people know I was trans; however as I progress along this trail I find that I'm identifying more and more with just being a woman and not really worrying about my trans status except as it complicates somethings I wish to do. For example after my name change I begin the long and tedious process of changin my information in 3 countries. Once I can get the gender pannel in the UK to change my birth certificate then the rest becomes somewhat easier.

[Guest mia 1]

My gender dysphoria is with me all the time..periods of intense I.D. with womanhood and then " a cavallier" attitude of take it or leave it...but I can never leave it..My women is with me all the time..she may be sleeping but she is never gone..I love her as much as I love my "guy"...

[Guest Aurea]

I do like the term transgender (=beyond gender actually) because it implies some androgyny as well. If them horms will make me more female, than that is fine but I won't identify as fully female for 100%, I just know I can't because it isn't me I will probably end up tomboy-ish, heh. got that name today from someone on the street who was talking about me, and since I now have female-super-hearing I could hear it. With make-up, I look tomboy-ish.

[Guest Aurea]

I lived for 37 years in the female gender. I feel no need to erase that. And this is just part of my identity. I am also a very caring, loving, sensitive PERSON. And I do feel somewhat "cut off" from the general population due to this condition to some extent. All of my friends are other FTMs. I do not feel very safe making friends in the cis-gendered world especially among other men. This used to bother me, but now I have ceased to care. I will do what I do, hang out with whomever I choose and at least remain OPEN to hanging out with cisgendered people. -S.

You said something very profound right there.

The integrating of a new gender identity (or what you would like to call it) is important, not a replacement, but integration into who you already are.