What Is Rle/rlt

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

RLE/RLT is real life experience/real life test. It is the time in a persons transition where they have to live and work as their target gender. This is somewhat exhilerating but also down right scary. I was told 21 days ago (June 12) that i was to do 2 months RLE BEFORE we could discuss hormones. YIKES no hormones to start the feminizing process, no spironolactone to quell the testosterone this is going to be a transwoman's worst nightmare (or so I thought).

The first few days were down right nerve wracking, but as I settled into doing what had to be done and getting used dressing as a woman rather than as a man things started to fall into place. For those who havent got, or cant afford electro or laser investing in a good razor will be invaluable. You need to get you stubble as close to your face as you can get, then invest in some really good concealer to do the rest of the job. Once that is done you are good to go with the makeup, if you are nervous maybe find someone to help (Like your local Mary Kay consultant).

I would recommend getting your feet wet dressing around the house, then venture out on short trips. I am at the stage now where it doesnt bother me to go out around town to run errands, go shopping or any of the other things one has to do. I have even managed to accompany my GF Lynette to a major statewide math teacher's conference and spent 4 days totally immersed. If anyone figured out that there was more to me than what I presented they didnt say anything. The first time I had to use the lady's room by myself I got decidely nervous, but kept my head up and walked in like I had every right to be there (which as far as I was concerned I did). 

Confidence is the secret to making RLE work, the slightest bit of nervousness or acting like you dont belong witll get you read faster than summer lightening, and that is the last thing you want when you need to pee badly.

[Guest Leah1026]

I would recommend getting your feet wet dressing around the house, then venture out on short trips. I am at the stage now where it doesnt bother me to go out around town to run errands, go shopping or any of the other things one has to do. I have even managed to accompany my GF Lynette to a major statewide math teacher's conference and spent 4 days totally immersed. If anyone figured out that there was more to me than what I presented they didnt say anything. The first time I had to use the lady's room by myself I got decidely nervous, but kept my head up and walked in like I had every right to be there (which as far as I was concerned I did). 

Confidence is the secret to making RLE work, the slightest bit of nervousness or acting like you dont belong will get you read faster than summer lightening, and that is the last thing you want when you need to pee badly.

This is what people should be doing looonnngggg before full-time.

People should go full-time when they are ready, not when someone else says so.

Full-time means 24/7/365 including legal name change. If a person has any hesitation, they aren't ready. When properly planned out and executed a person will know when it's time. And that's usually AFTER being on HRT for a while. I was on HRT for about 20 months before going full-time.

Joanna: This is not meant as a dig at you. I want people to be clear that the preferred method of transitions is:

Therapy---->HRT---->RLE---->Surgery (if any)

Forcing someone to do RLE first is setting them up for failure. The first rule of medicine is supposed to be "Do no harm". RLE without the benefit of hormones is harmful and just plain cruel.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Joanna: This is not meant as a dig at you. I want people to be clear that the preferred method of transitions is:

Therapy---->HRT---->RLE---->Surgery (if any)

Forcing someone to do RLE first is setting them up for failure. The first rule of medicine is supposed to be "Do no harm". RLE without the benefit of hormones is harmful and just plain cruel.

I agree, Leah!

I don't understand Real Time without the benefit of HRT!

Even if it is of a very short time on them ...at least you have the benefit of the psychological boost that being on them gives you!

I'm on month 5 now and I don't plan on starting for some time yet! I want the full benefit of the hormones before I start....

Just my thoughts....

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

My two and a half cents...

RLE is good but it is something that needs to be set up. I do RLE to a degree - everywhere except the small town I live in (my wife is related to everone - I am still coming out to her side of the family).

But in actuallity I wear my gender appropriate clothing everywhere - jeans or shorts, teeshirts... just no make-up or earrings. I put my hair in a ponytail. People can either look or not. Most don't care.

BUT I am pretty advanced with HRT, and my eyebrows are nicely shaped now, and eletrolysis has removed the dark hairs on my face. So I pass casually dressed now.

I cannot imagine trying to pass before HRT. I had to use so much make-up and wear a wig to appear female.

So I agree - Therapy---->HRT---->RLE---->Surgery (if any).

Just some thoughts.

And Joanne - yes ATTITUDE! you have that right.

Lizzy

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

While I agree it is cruel and unusual punishment to do RLE with out HRT (shouldnt this be banned by some convention or another) it is what i got slapped on and now have to do. Went to call my therapist on friday, guess what they were closed for the weekend, it's independence day here you know. I have an appointment monday and will see if I can grease the HRT machine then, if not Aug 12 isnt that far away.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Lizzy all of the pics in my gallery are prehrt. I dont think they look too bad and my gf Lyne seems to think im doing ok with out hormones... well wait till I get them

[Guest Martin]

I did RLE before hormones. I did so before I found a decent therapist because I was having a lot of trouble finding one, and the WPATH Standards of Care say that RLE can substitute for therapy to get hormones and I didn't want to wait longer than I had to. While it turned out that my doctor required a therapist's letter, I got that letter faster because I had already started living as myself full-time. I'm glad I went full-time before hormones because that allowed me to be myself at school for about two months before I could start hormones. Aside from having to explain a name change in the middle of a school year and having to pretend to be a girl for that much longer, waiting to go full-time would have also caused all kinds of awkwardness when my voice changed. It started dropping within a week of my first shot - not much, but enough that people noticed it. In my situation, RLE before hormones was a good option. Oh, and I didn't get my legal name change before hormones. I started the process long before I got my hormones, but it takes quite a few month to go through in Colorado. However, I changed my name at home, with my friends, and at school before hormones.

Some trans men prefer to get top surgery before hormones. Some only want the surgery and not the hormones. Others believe they will have less scarring in that order because estrogen keeps skin more elastic than testosterone does. Quite a few surgeons are willing to do this. However, one needs to be on testosterone for an absolute minimum of six months (and preferably two years or longer) to get a metoidioplasty (one type of bottom surgery). I'm not sure if one needs to be testosterone in order to get a phalloplasty.

As I mentioned before, the Standards do not require therapy before hormones. Accordingly, some doctors prescribe hormones to people who've lived full-time for a certain period of time but have not seen a therapist. Additionally, not all doctors use the Standards in the first place. People can and have successfully transitioned using only the informed consent model - including trans men who've had top surgery. I'm not sure if any surgeon does genital surgery without a therapist letter, but there's certainly no legal obligation to require one in the United States.

My point is that Therapy---->HRT---->RLE---->Surgery isn't right for everyone. I'm sure it works great for some people, and I believe that option should be open to people, but I would hate to see it required. Instead, I think individuals should be able to decide what works best for them personally as long as there isn't a medical reason for a requirement (there is one for the testosterone before metoidioplasty requirement). And that includes not forcing people to go full-time without hormones - or forcing people to take hormones before going full-time.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

This is what people should be doing looonnngggg before full-time.

People should go full-time when they are ready, not when someone else says so.

Full-time means 24/7/365 including legal name change. If a person has any hesitation, they aren't ready. When properly planned out and executed a person will know when it's time. And that's usually AFTER being on HRT for a while. I was on HRT for about 20 months before going full-time.

Joanna: This is not meant as a dig at you. I want people to be clear that the preferred method of transitions is:

Therapy---->HRT---->RLE---->Surgery (if any)

Forcing someone to do RLE first is setting them up for failure. The first rule of medicine is supposed to be "Do no harm". RLE without the benefit of hormones is harmful and just plain cruel.

I guess I was ready, since i didnt hestitate when told to do this. However, I would be lying if I didnt admit to some nervousness and thoughts of yikes um yeah ok just how is this to work. For me it has and continues to work, i guess I just have the right attitude this is who I am and should have been from day one.

[Paula ult]

As i told Joanna in other posts i believe her therapist is using SOC V5 not the latest V6. V5 seems to say RLT plus at least 3 months therapy before hormones which her therapist is having her do, V6 says 3 months RLT or at least 3 months therapy before hormones.

I been on hormones 14 months and even without my wig i get ma'amed all the time everywhere i go so my therapist agrees with me that i should work towards going full time by years end.

I still have to come out to my extended family but i was going to do it later this month anyway, then my bowling leagues at the end of August, most know or will know before then. My company's HR dept has known since January and are ok so all i need to do is contact them and get the ball rolling, then in November/December time frame do the name change.

It's best to have a plan A, plan B and even a plan C, i just went from plan A to B do to recent developments.

Paula

[Guest angie]

I started out small,around my place,going on walks,to the ice house,

SanAntonian for convenience store,slowly building up to going to church

service enfemme.When I went full time was when presenting as who I

no longer was became too much,too uncomfortable,just plain wrong.

You will know when your time is right.Your mind will tell you so.

And it wont matter how long or even if you are in transition,you will know.

I went full time at six months in transition.Am now closing in on two years

living female.Hardly remember living as my old self.Could not imagine

having to put,on muchless live as (him) ever again.

Hugs,

Angie

[Guest NicolaiAE]

I would love to to RLT...unfortunately...I heard Florida required a surgery to be done in order to change the "F" to a "M" or vice versa....if that's true this this stinks... I don't think they would let me get an ID with my name on it with out a letter

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I would love to to RLT...unfortunately...I heard Florida required a surgery to be done in order to change the "F" to a "M" or vice versa....if that's true this this stinks... I don't think they would let me get an ID with my name on it with out a letter

You may want to investigate that further since it would make transitioning nearly impossible. Under the standards of care you have to do a minimum of 1 year RLE and get two letters (one from you therapist and a second opinion) before surgery can be considered. durring RLE the usual things are

• live and work as your target gender
  
• legally change your name (in most states this is all it takes to change the marker on your DL). The process for this varies from state to state
  
• if you re MTF start to get rid of your facial hair (this gets costly)
  
• take care of changing as much supporting documentation as you can. Your passport may have to wait till post op but im not sure
  
• you will need one letter from your therapist to start HRT
  

Hope this helps some RLE can be a scary step but if you are ready for it then it is exhilerating as well

[Guest Leah1026]

I would love to to RLT...unfortunately...I heard Florida required a surgery to be done in order to change the "F" to a "M" or vice versa....if that's true this this stinks... I don't think they would let me get an ID with my name on it with out a letter

In general anybody can change their name for any reason (except fraud). Anyone that says you can't is lying and/or prejudiced. If the person involved is a judge I suggest you get a lawyer and challenge that ruling. I had a friend who had to go that route in Mississippi and it took her a year to get her legal name change. However, that is *very* unusual. Usually legal name changes are very easy to accomplish.

Don't worry about the sex marker for now. Heck most people never even look at that. When I was pre-op (2 years full-time before surgery) I always paranoid about that, but NOBODY ever noticed the gender marker on my ID.