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A Little Straight Talk


Sally

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Sally... I went and got pampered today at the beauty shop...... Hair was Coloured, Being permed next week... I had waxing done too..... I feel like a Million bucks...You Can't be a WOMAN untill you Menstuate....Have monthly cramps.... And get pregnant.... Untill they work out how to grow us a womb and ovaries from stem cells The surgery is just Cosmetic.... Nothing more.. nothing less.... I consider myself Female and have for many years...BUT... when they Turn the remants of my penis into a Clitoris..... the guys at CSI won't be fooled...

Everyone who know me knows my personal situation.... I WON'T lie to people about it... I try to explain it to people who will listen.... If they won't listen..... I walk away.... I know who and what I am.... My Last Post was to deliberately Fire up some of you folks.... HRT Doesn't Make you Female.... GRS doesn't make you female.... You either are or you aren't and the operation is only icing on a Cake....

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Guest Joanna Phipps
And the choir shouts "AMEN"

Seven months on HRT - and lost to the other side forever!

Elizabeth

2.5 months in and there is no turning back for me, i have to go as far with this as I can afford to go

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<<<< a Decade on HRT..... I left my nuts in North St Kilda 4 years ago...... ( Sung to the tune of I left my heart in Sanfrancisco ...LOL ).... It is all about the Anomaly that exists between physical and psychological Gender... Correct?

So Ground floor renovations Make us Phoney Women.... Maybe some time in the future It can be corrected Properly.... I am not Bagging out any of you who see GRS/SRS as the holy Grail..... BUT....bottom line... Genetic Woman can do a few tricks we can only dream about right now....Without a womb and ovaries.... the job is only half of what is required... AND I can see it happening in my lifetime.... The FULL Monty is a Generation away.... I can see a time when they will be installing all the girl bits....

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Guest Donna Jean
I feel like a Million bucks...You Can't be a WOMAN untill you Menstuate....Have monthly cramps.... And get pregnant....

Ohhhhhh....oh oh oh oh .....

Issue....Issue......ALERT!

I know a couple of GG personally that cannot do the things above......(medical stuff...)

We can't discount that they are women or not......

Sorry, Honey.....

Just saying!

Donna Jean

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Donna Jean,

I intentionally attempted to make you all think..... I would have the ground floor renovations done tomorrow.... IF I am only given the option of penile inversion I will decline.....I won't be satisfied with that form of surgery.... Many Surgeons don't like doing the colon relocation.... I believe that it is the closest thing Possible to the real deal Currently. Who knows what will be possible in 10 or 20 years..... Many of you are Married to G/Gs... Right ? Are you planning Vaginal Penetration sex after the operation..... IF so... That means you will be in a relationship with a guy ... right ? I also assume that most of you have had intimacy with a Woman as Males...yes....?.... Do you think you could tell the difference Between an inside out Penis and a Vagina ? Darned sure I could.... I am not even sure I want to be with a guy...I prefer woman in bed and always have.... OK... the penis goes..... Just as well I have a Black belt in Cunning Linguistics LOL

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In straight talk and absolute truths - HRT and SRS do not ever 'make' anyone a male or a female - they are a way of confirming the fact that in mind and spirit we have always been opposite to our physical sex and it is a way of expressing that outwardly after a life time of suppressing it.

I will probably never be able to afford the surgery, my allergy to money will keep me from ever saving enough but i am already a woman, I was born that way and as soon as I admitted it to myself my transition in mind and spirit was started, with the first Etrodial tablet under my tongue it was complete - all clothing, make up and surgeries are simply to redefine ourselves to others - I am a complete woman now and I am happy (for the most part - there is still that money allergy to deal with).

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Charlene_Leona

This response has taken some thought on my part, but here goes.

Transitioning does not solve all of life's problems for those of us who truly need to, but it does start to fix one of them you and how you see yourself.

1. Therapy helps you find your true self, what you are and what you are meant to be. It helps you overcome those personal issues that have held you back for the majority of your life. This is itself a very hard stage because you are made to confront yourself and you have to ask yourself (Why do you need to transition?) I also think it's the most important part because it weeds out those who are transsexual and those who have deeper psychological problems.

2. HRT is just that replacing the original hormones with new one's. Now this stage also is a weeding out stage because if you are truly under control of the wrong hormones with in weeks you either find a piece of mind unlike any you have ever felt, or you don't. This is something your doctors are watching for because if you don't find that piece of mind most likely you are not a true transsexual. I know for myself this was the most amazing moment of my life when I found contentment. It had nothing to do with developing breast although that was a pleasant side effect. When you have the correct hormones at the proper levels in you body, it just runs correctly and that both body and mind.

3. SRS is the final step for the physical aspect of transition it makes you physically a female and is not the end all be all of becoming female. For myself this is an essential part of my transition because it gives me the legal right to marry my mate as well as the ability to consummate that marriage making it completely legal. It does not solve all of my lifelong difficulties but it is a marked start to the first day of the rest of my true life.

Like I and others have said Transition does not solve all of your problems it can't because by coming out and starting to transition you are opening a whole new can of worms for yourself and everyone involved with your life. To this day my mother does not approve of what I'm doing because it goes against everything she believes in. Now the way I look at it that's her problem not mine because I'm not living my life for them I'm living it for me and my happiness. As well as they have been a large part of why I have had such a miserable life. One example of this up to the day I came out my family called me Patricia a girls name, can you imagine how confused and angry that made me. So angry that when I changed my name I picked my grandmothers name for my middle name. At first I thought I was giving up any chance of ever finding a mate and happiness along those lines, I'm glad to say I was very wrong about that. there is someone out there for all of us we just have to start living life and go out and find that person.

I think that is key for us, we have to stop living that cloistered life of a person with GID and start living our new life in the gender our brain is set to be. We have to be out and lead as positive examples for the world to see. We are not a bunch of sexual deviant's who do this for sexual gratification. We do this so our minds and bodies match that's it. This is the hardest path for any human to walk in our period of history, I do not know of any group that is more discriminated against or more tested emotionally. Do not do this on a whim because if you do you are bound to fail, you have to think out every step you take. If you don't you are going to fail.

Now for those of you that are contemplating doing this don't let mine or the others post stop you from moving forward also don't let this get you more depressed and suicidal we all face difficult moments in life and the way we choose to handle them will define who you are in the future. I think we have all been given a gift to walk this path in life because when we are finished we will have found and become a much better human being.

Love and Hope for everyone's success

Charlene Leona

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Guest Joanna Phipps
Ohhhhhh....oh oh oh oh .....

Issue....Issue......ALERT!

I know a couple of GG personally that cannot do the things above......(medical stuff...)

We can't discount that they are women or not......

Sorry, Honey.....

Just saying!

Donna Jean

we are, in many ways, the equivalent of a post complete historectomy woman. There is no doubting they are women.. soooooo

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Guest Joanna Phipps
I am going to support your statement here because it is in fact true in terms of biology, we still carry the Y chromosome which in technical terms makes our bodies remain male in spite of the new body chemistry from hormone treatment and the female mindset.

I know this position isnt popular but I didnt come here to win popularity contests. It is because of the fact that we are NOT getting rid of any chromasomal material that I think transgender better describes what we are doing it also avoids the problem of some people thinking we do this simply for sex (dang it there are easier ways to get sex than risking everything you have). Think about it though, to truly be transsexual we would have to alter every dna chain in the human body, something that right now is impossible. We change our bodies to match our gender therefore are we not transgender?

Or if neither term is accurate, what then do we call ourselves?

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Leah1026
Donna Jean,

I intentionally attempted to make you all think..... I would have the ground floor renovations done tomorrow.... IF I am only given the option of penile inversion I will decline.....I won't be satisfied with that form of surgery.... Many Surgeons don't like doing the colon relocation.... I believe that it is the closest thing Possible to the real deal Currently. Who knows what will be possible in 10 or 20 years..... Many of you are Married to G/Gs... Right ? Are you planning Vaginal Penetration sex after the operation..... IF so... That means you will be in a relationship with a guy ... right ? I also assume that most of you have had intimacy with a Woman as Males...yes....?.... Do you think you could tell the difference Between an inside out Penis and a Vagina ? Darned sure I could.... I am not even sure I want to be with a guy...I prefer woman in bed and always have.... OK... the penis goes..... Just as well I have a Black belt in Cunning Linguistics LOL

Okay, just popping in to spout off.

You are a VERY rude, ignorant person.

What you don't realize is the colon segment surgery is more prone to complications. And that doesn't even include the SMELL you will have to put up with. It can take up to 2 YEARS for the POOPY smell to go away. Can you imagine living with that for 2 years? And sometimes things lubricate too well and you could end up wearing pads the rest of your life.

And speaking as a veteran of penile inversion: Results are quite excellent if you ask me..... and I'm a healthcare worker who's seen quite a few naked people.

And by focusing solely on THE surgery you're missing the point of transition entirely.

For the life of me I don't know why these moderators put up with your crap. Hello moderators!!!! Do your job!!!!

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I'm beginning to feel I don't want to subject myself to that much struggle, even if I would have the adequate financial means to make a decent transition a reality.

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Guest ~Brenda~
I'm beginning to feel I don't want to subject myself to that much struggle, even if I would have the adequate financial means to make a decent transition a reality.

Amie,

Sweetheart, do not take Tassie Tiffs words to heart. As you can see she has been banned because she is a fraud. Ignore her words.

SRS is nothing to take lightly. Whether you need SRS or not does not obviate the need for you to be you. SRS is not for everyone. After much therapy and discussion, you will be able to determine if SRS is for yourself. Either way, it is all OK. Transitioning means moving towards yourself. Transitioning does not mean moving to SRS if SRS is not for you :)

If SRS is your future, you can talk to your doctors about the risks, don't take Tassie's word for it, she is not speaking the truth

Love

Brenda

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  • Root Admin

Please note that TassieTiff has been banned from this site. Although we strive to keep this site free from trolls, admirers, flamers and predators, sometimes one will slip in under the radar. Because of her inflammatory, misleading and downright false statements, she was banned from this site. I would urge that no one place any credence on any of the posts that she made.

MaryEllen

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Amie,

Sweetheart, do not take Tassie Tiffs words to heart. As you can see she has been banned because she is a fraud. Ignore her words.

SRS is nothing to take lightly. Whether you need SRS or not does not obviate the need for you to be you. SRS is not for everyone. After much therapy and discussion, you will be able to determine if SRS is for yourself. Either way, it is all OK. Transitioning means moving towards yourself. Transitioning does not mean moving to SRS if SRS is not for you :)

If SRS is your future, you can talk to your doctors about the risks, don't take Tassie's word for it, she is not speaking the truth

Love

Brenda

No B, her post have no had no influence on my thoughts on the matter. But thank you for your concern.

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Kia Ora,

:rolleyes: Leah’s right penile inversion is the safest option[notice I said the safest not necessarily the best]Unless one as had both how is one going to tell-however in saying this, for me ‘personally’ colonvaginoplasty CVP just suits me fine…Remember any type of genital surgery is risky surgery and things can go wrong with both types of procedures…

I had the CVP back in 2005, I guess I was one of the lucky ones where every thing went according to plan, no prolong bad smells-no having to wear pads for the rest of my life-self lubrication no problem…However a friend had the same procedure performed by the same surgical team[the plastic surgeon-the urologist-the colon rectal surgeon] she’s had nothing but complications-even had to go to Thailand to have corrective surgery to tidy up her labia area, but she still has a problem with the colon poking out at the entrance of her vagina….

I personally know of two trans-women who had the ‘penile inversion’ procedures performed in Thailand[no problems with the actual surgery] however and within a year went back and had a CVP done, they wanted more depth-CVP defiantly gives one more depth plus the benefits of self lubrication, and if done right no skin graphs involved-well I didn’t have to have any…

CVP was first performed by a surgeon in the UK, his came up with the technique when dealing with young genetic females who were born with a deformed/non functioning vagina…CVP was specifically designed for genetic females with vagina deformities…

It’s not my intention to try and put people off of having genital surgery all together, but one has only to google gender reassignment surgery complications to find that major complications can occur no matter what procedure one has... However with CVP ther's more involved[more intrusive] than the penile inversion technique, so it's more prone to complications…

In the long run it’s just the luck of the draw-after all, surgeons are only human… :rolleyes: Or are they????

Metta Jendar :)

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Evan J ,

Just got as far as your reply and have to say now (prob forget later) , i think you

got as close there in your Trans opinion as I have ever read . Been looking for those words

a while now . Thank you Sir, Luv,viv :)

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  • 6 months later...
Guest someone else

Why is Momma Sally trying to bring us all down?

She isn't but as her appointment for her hormones is Monday she has been doing a lot of soul searching to be sure because her family is not behind her at all.

So through all of my soul searching I have decided that these are the important things that you need to consider when beginning to transition.

If you are transitioning because it will make your life perfect - Don't!

If you are transitioning because it will make your life better - Don't!

If you are transitioning because it will make you feel complete and no longer at war with yourself - Do!

I just want everyone to be aware that the world will not change because you do.

Transitioning is an outward correction of an internal conflict and others will not understand and not all will accept so be sure that you can handle all of what is involved.

Awesome. Just awesome. Thank you.

It does not make your life better. Not a bit. Relationships fail, loves are lost and others will not understand. I like what I see in the mirror more and more each day. That's about it. The part about being at war with yourself... I don't know if that ever stops. I'd have to ask someone who's been around longer. Once I got past denial I was still at war with myself over the guilt of how this effected everyone around me. About being able to handle all of what is involved... I don't think there is any way to prepare or be sure you can handle it. For me transition is more something I just have to do regardless of the consequences. I feel like an idiot in male clothing. It's a lie. Yet I still try to hold on to that guy I am/was. As mentioned in a previous reply, the changes are mostly on the inside and I don't want to commit suicide of personality. I like who I am/was and I don't want to lose that. I don't think I've ever heard that subject brought up other than in passing. I was aware that was involved but I didn't realize what a struggle it is to retain the parts of yourself that you do like. It's an amazing ride but it's nothing like I thought it would be.

Thanks for the info on the different operations. I knew there were different proceedures but not what they were. Not an option for me though due to relationship commitments. I'd say deeper is better without going into detail.

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  • 5 months later...

While I know what the message was and understand it...

If you are transitioning because it will make your life perfect - Don't!

Well okay this is a no-brainier the social upheaval transitioning will cause can be very painful and disorienting.

If you are transitioning because it will make your life better - Don't!

????

Sure it won't make things like a dead end job or a broken marriage better but isn't one of the points of transitioning to improve the quality of life by removing or rather diminishing a discomfort? Though it shouldn't be the main goal wouldn't a perceived improvement in life kind of have to be a side goal?

If you are transitioning because it will make you feel complete and no longer at war with yourself - Do!

*sniff* I don't know if it will! That's why straight talks like this un-nerve me. To be in the boys-who-want-to-be-girls camp is a strange place especially when its in its infancy as supposed to the girls-in-the-wrong-body camp which is well established. If I had to stay male but was able to grow my hair long and do little things like that I could handle it but I know that the longing to be female would never go away in that case. It might be diminished or tarnished depending on the circumstances but I don't think it will ever leave. But is that enough? :banghead: Hmmm... methinks that therapy will be happening sooner rather than later. Still have at least a month before I can afford it though. <_<

As mentioned in a previous reply, the changes are mostly on the inside and I don't want to commit suicide of personality. I like who I am/was and I don't want to lose that. I don't think I've ever heard that subject brought up other than in passing. I was aware that was involved but I didn't realize what a struggle it is to retain the parts of yourself that you do like. It's an amazing ride but it's nothing like I thought it would be.

Could you elaborate on this? Especially the bolded part. Is overall personality affected by hormones? Are likes/hobbies changed? Just in general what makes it hard to keep old personality traits.

I'm really glad I came in here even if the topic has given me more things to think about. They are all things I should think about.

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  • 3 months later...
Guest DésiréeG

Dysphoria: My dysphoria, both social and body, have more or less disappeared. The angst that ruled my life for decades is GONE.

A transsexual person is someone who was born with a brain-body mismatch. That no longer applies to me.

That takes care of the physical, but what about the mental side of things? Transition for me was an enormous time of personal growth. I did my research, I got my therapy, I did lots of deep thinking and I did what was right for me. And because of that I can truly say I am the person I should have been. Oh life circumstances would have been different, but I am finally the person I was meant to be. I had a condition that kept me from being the real me and that kept any personal development in stasis for a long time. But that road block has been removed and I'm moving on with life. I am happy, healthy and whole.

Sure I have some unique circumstances, but so does every other person on this planet.

And this is where I'd like to go back to Sally's 1st point:

The end of transition is not the end, but a new beginning. I have the same hassles everyone else I know has, but I have something a lot of them don't have:

An appreciation for those "hassles". I rejoice in having them because I have been to the fiery pits of hell and survived.

You know before transition I thought I was a negative person. Transition taught me many things and among those was that I am a positive person. It's just that my circumstances prevented me from seeing that; I had been in "survival mode".

My life isn't perfect, but I do have one now. One that's mine, that's me and not about what others/society want.

I may have been born transsexual, but I'm not a transsexual.

Your mileage may vary.

I agree. As has been said "SRS cured my transsexualism. I wanted to change my sex, then I had surgery and I haven't wanted to change my sex since then!"

I was a transsexual. Now, I am just a woman.

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Guest Lacey Lynne

Congrats, hon!

This is THE BEST POST I've seen on either this forum or the other transsexual forum I belong to.

Correctomundo ... and brilliant! Perfectly said! I'm VERY glad you are HAPPY!

God, I love your avatar pic! She's who I wanna look like ... and kinda do ... a few decades older, of course. LOVE THIS POST YOU MADE HERE!

Peace & Happiness

:welldone: Lacey Lynne

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Guest DésiréeG

Could you elaborate on this? Especially the bolded part. Is overall personality affected by hormones? Are likes/hobbies changed? Just in general what makes it hard to keep old personality traits.

no, who you are won't change. If you like Star Trek, or heavy metal, or long walks on the beach or armadillos or pumpkin pie now, you will afterward. When I was starting out what most people told me was, if you are calm, they will make you more "up" and if you are hyper, they will calm you down. You will find your self getting more emotional and reacting to things that previously you wouldn't have. But if you are shy or brainy or bookish or extroverted or whatever, hormones won't change that. What may change though is how you see yourself and thus how you act in certain situations. It's a bit of a paradox. On the one hand, you are still you, just a different sex. On the other, you are a new person. More you, perhaps. Hormones will alter how you think & feel, but not what you think & feel.

Does that help?

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Guest_SL

This is a great topic and the replies are in keeping with the tone of the topic and make interesting reading and food for thought, but........there's a place between realizing your identity and claiming it.

For me, it's called, "Never Never Land" and it's an odd place to exist indeed.

Like the old, "Bad news/good news, lesbian joke but existing in real time. I mentioned to one member, it's similar to a person like myself, of average height claiming to be the, "Worlds Tallest Midget". People will think for a few seconds and then say, "What? Get outta here!"

Where's the proof? Where's the validation? DNA? Chromosome factor? There is none. It only exists inside me and others like me. I could tell people I'm Protestant outwardly but Jewish inwardly and who would care or question? Announce I'm a Republican outside and Democrat outside and, "Big deal. Who cares?"

But gender? You open the door and yell, "Hey everybody! I'm a woman trapped in a man's body and trapped forever but get this, I'm a lesbian!" Folks who can and have stepped through the door are going to think, "Yeah, right". And who wouldn't?

So for me and perhaps others, to discover that sort of identity is a Pandora's Box. Opening the box only released more problems, more questions, more doubts and more isolation.

If a person does begin the process of transition and decide it's not what they really are, they can stop, turn back, put the lid back on the box (Pre op, of course.) and put it in the past. I don't have that luxury. The top is off forever.

I enjoy replying to a post and have someone respond that I've offered a bit of help. That's a great feeling. But sometimes I want more and I'm not going to get more. Not here, not anywhere. This is the hand I was dealt. Either I try to play out my hand or I fold. I'm not bummed out or anything. I just don't know whether to stay in the game and raise the ante knowing I'm running out of chips.

SL

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  • Forum Moderator

As Lizzy says, "Being Transsexual ain't for sissies!"

No it's not and there is no turning back, it's just the way it is.

C -

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Guest Lacey Lynne

As Lizzy says, "Being Transsexual ain't for sissies!"

No it's not and there is no turning back, it's just the way it is.

C -

You've got THAT right, honey! Yep! That's the way it is! You'll be fine; you'll see! Rock on!

Peace :friends: Lacey

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      Oh my, here it comes...     It looks like there is a half moon out my window...  4:51am    
    • KatieSC
      While it is encouraging that they have deemed that they cannot ban the treatment, the bigger question is what treatments they will cover as a result. Speaking as a transgender female, this is a difficult definition. A fair number of insurance plans already cover the basic vaginoplasty, however, for those of us who have a rather masculine appearing face, a heavy beard, a deep voice, and other defining characteristics, attaining a passing feminine appearance is difficult without gender-affirming facial feminization surgery, genital and facial electrolysis, speech therapy and if necessary, gender affirming voice surgery, as well as other body contouring procedures. I view all of these procedures as life-saving in the sense that blending in, and thus avoiding an assault can come down to looking and sounding like you are female. I think the transgender males have a bit more ease with blending in than we do. There will be disagreements as to what constitutes enough surgery to be your truest self. We all pretty much understand that our true gender is locked in our mind. The issue is what can we do to modify our bodies enough to get the congruence between what is in our head, and how we perceive ourselves in the world. Is some of it cosmetic? That is hard to say for sure. I have had insurance companies insist that facial electrolysis is purely cosmetic. Well, most women do not have an Abraham Lincoln beard coming through. Some insurance companies have insisted that speech/voice therapy, as well as voice surgery, are purely cosmetic. I scoured the cosmetic counters for any makeup that would enhance my voice. Being feminine and passing does not mean I get to look and sound like Fred Flintstone in a dress. That kind of weirds folks out, and sets us up to be ridiculed and assaulted in my estimation.   My one insurer told me that beyond the vaginoplasty that all of this was cosmetic. In an appeal hearing, I asked the group that if they had a 14 year old daughter who was in an accident that resulted in a large facial scar, would they want the child to receive the best care to remove the scar? Of course they would. I pointed out though, that while she may have the scar, she could live with it. I asked them if the removal of the disfiguring scar in a 14-year old would be difficult for the child when the other kids made fun of her. Of course, they all nodded their head. I explained to the group that for folks like us, it is no different. While it may be cosmetic to a point, these procedures are essential to our well-being, and not something we are doing to be on a YouTube channel.   Now some who are trans, or gender fluid, may not want to opt for the procedures. There are quite a few of us that do, but the cost is prohibitive. What also clouds the issue are the surgeons who operate out of large medical centers who participate in the large insurance pools. How many of our sisters and brothers have had to pony up some major dollars to a surgeon who is out of network? Good luck trying to get the surgery paid for by your insurer. They may pay you what they pay the surgeons in network, but you won't get that much in reimbursement. A fair number of insurance companies balk at speech and voice therapy, and many will not cover voice surgery. Then there is the issue of electrolysis. A day at the "spa" for electrolysis with anesthetics will run around 3,000 bucks or so, and you may need many repeat visits. Many of the insurers fail to pay for that as well. Just about none of the insurers will cover body contouring procedures such as a panniculectomy, or liposuction. When the insurance companies will just help us become our truest selves, then we will have progress with gender identity laws.   The one good thing that this decision does is preserve the primary care for transgender individuals. I have to wonder how Florida and the rest of the states who have banned having Medicaid cover transgender healthcare are going to act. This should be an interesting fight. When we have the ability to seek care and get what we need for our true needs, without any pre-judgements, then these court orders will mean something. A court order without parameters for the insurance companies is hollow.
    • Mirrabooka
      @April MarieI just noticed that it's your birthday today! Happy Birthday to you!!!!!! 🥳🎂🎁🎉❤️
    • Mirrabooka
      Morning y'all, fingers crossed for everyone who has stuff going on.   Welcome back to reality @April Marie, enjoy your improving weather!   Why is it that we humans always take too long to acclimatize to the changing seasons, especially when it gets colder like it is here? Maybe I'm just getting soft in my old age, lol.    
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Speculation , worst or best case, neither.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
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