Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

interview tomorrow


Regn

Recommended Posts

I have an interview tomorrow for an academic job. I’m not good at interviews at the best of times and this is far from the best time. BUT i answered the selection criteria without much effort and because of the combination of practice and academic experience that they want, in a fairly obscure area, i know the field of applicant won’t be huge. Worried by how much i want it though - hurtling towards disappointment, i fear.

 

I talked to a senior academic at a different university who has sat on selection committees for decades and asked her about risks vs necessity of disclosing gender. She recommended that I not disclose until/if I get offered the job, and then to call the head of school and say basically, “i know this isn’t relevant to my capacity to perform the role so i didn’t mention it earlier but want to be fully up front with you before I accept the offer”. It’s illegal here to discriminate on the basis of gender identity but she said she’d be very worried about unconscious bias because prejudice in this area is so prevalent. So that was kind of sobering but made me glad i asked, and i trust her judgment and experience.

 

After i left her though, i thought, what does that mean for the way i present? When I’m suited up in work clothes, strangers tend to read me as M but really i’m in that messy in-between place that just makes most people confused. I had planned to wear what I always wear to formal work events (ie suit and tie) but after talking to her, started questioning if I should change that.Eventually decided  to not actively hide anything at the interview - so wear what i want and don’t lie - because gender really isn’t relevant. But know this is a risk. 

 

I guess i’m just realising how complicated this can be - even before i get to worrying about name changes and qualifications.

 

Enough already. 7am flight tomorrow. cheers

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Regardless of how you decide to present best of luck.  It is certainly difficult to know that our gender shouldn't make a difference but know that somehow it does.  

Please let us know how you fare.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

I had pretty much the same dilemma a couple weeks ago.  I am MtF and there's no way in you-know-where that I'd try to pass myself off as my gender assigned at birth but in the intimacy of an interview, for an hour, I'm probably going to leak some unconscious gender tells from my former socialization not the least of which is my voice.  I was freaked out about it during the 24 hours prior to the interview and especially in the lobby waiting but I got through it and don't think I did too bad either.  I AM very well qualified for the position but two mid-west, white privileged males are a tough audience and I couldn't tell for sure if they read me or not.  I haven't heard good or bad news from them but I've prepared myself for disappointment and I'm continuing to look.  One almost has to do that though.  If you think about it, several people apply and only one gets the job.  The odds are stacked against you before you even apply.

Link to comment

well I’m pretty sure I f*cked it up. Nothing to do with gender though, I guess that’s something. I failed all on my own merits lol

 

Hope you fare better Lace

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well even if it didn't go well you have a baseline for what you need or the types of questions asked.

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It could easily be that it simply wasn't the right job for you.  Don't give up hope.  Hopefully

you will ace the next one.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

So I found out yesterday that I didn't get the job.  Point for point I was perfectly qualified and the region where I live is desperate for workers so it's hard to imagine why, if you're qualified with a good work history, you wouldn't be hired.  I get gendered both ways, I was interviewed by two white, privileged males and I DIDN'T talk about my gender yet I suspect they may have read me. I'm wondering what the rest of you think about a very polite follow up call to the main person who interviewed me to ask why I was not chosen.  And, again, in a polite way, to ask them if they were fearful that my gender might have been hard for their customers to accept.  In no way would I be accusatory or sound bitter.  Just a professional discussion where we DO talk about the elephant in the room.  I'd like to know to help me decide what to do and say in future interviews. 

Link to comment

I've hired a lot of people over the years and have never had any problem with people calling me and asking what they may be able to improve upon next time. I've done the same thing myself and in at least one case, that conversation really helped me figure out where I needed to do some additional work and training.

 

I have had the occasional person call me and word their question poorly so it sounded like an accusation. Not knowing your experience, it very well could be discrimination and I've seen plenty of people come up with what seem to be reasonable reasons for not wanting to hire someone when those reasons were not there for other candidates. But regardless, I suspect you are right that if you just ask

 

I would ask something like this:

"I really enjoyed meeting with you yesterday (or whatever) and I am still very interested in your company / organization. I would be interested in applying for a position in the future if one comes up. Could you tell me what I could do to improve my chances in the future?"

Link to comment

I would ask, Lace. I didn't get mine either but when they called to tell me, they offered to give me feedback. I said no thanks because I already knew how I'd screwed up but if you don't, then I would definitely ask. 

 

As for the gender thing, is it legal to not hire someone because "my gender might have been hard for their customers to accept"? Because if it's not (it's not here) you may not get an honest answer. 

 

I have an application in now for a poorly paid job in the redneck country town I used to live in. I'm almost certain I'll get it but they're wanting to call me to check I understand what they job entails (I'm way overqualified for it). I'm avoiding picking up when they call because I can't decide whether I should withdraw or not and I'm worried they'll offer it to me and I won't know what to say. Do you hold out for something better or take what you can and make do? I really hate decisions like that.  

Link to comment

They can't legally discriminate but there's nothing to stop them from naming some other reason for not hiring me.  If they did read me and didn't hire me for that reason, they probably wont admit it which is why I decided not to call them.  There's nothing worse, in my opinion, than looking for a new job.  Job descriptions always look to me, like Jesus himself wouldn't be qualified.  Then, for those who apply (many) only one is chosen.  The cards are stacked against a positive outcome.  It has to be one of the most discouraging thing a person has to do. 

 

Thanks for the responses @Regn & @Annie

Link to comment

I agree @DenimAndLace I hate it so much. And thinking back, I don't remember ever getting a job through that method. All the jobs I've had have come about through more informal means initially. If that doesn't change it rules out whole industries though who only employ through formal processes.

 

I've decided to withdraw my application for the job in bogan-ville. I might end up homeless but I'm going to stay here and get my surgery in December. Then I'll worry about work. Too much stress right now. 

 

Hope something works out for you soon.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 126 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • FelixThePickleMan
    • April Marie
    • Mealaini
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Ivy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,067
    • Most Online
      8,356

    autumn hill
    Newest Member
    autumn hill
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ay-la
      Ay-la
      (51 years old)
    2. Camille
      Camille
      (48 years old)
    3. Dressupdoll
      Dressupdoll
      (57 years old)
    4. iliya
      iliya
      (37 years old)
    5. KaylaH
      KaylaH
      (48 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      @VickySGV    Good point.  There are websites full of porn and fantasies related to cross dressing, trans stories, etc., and people might easily think those are written by TG types and accurately describe TG folk.
    • VickySGV
      No one has mentioned the Adult Entertainment Industry aka the Pornography Industry which for too long was the ONLY source of information about us for the general public.  I actually realized what I was from an XX Rated publication that I snuck behind a comic book at the neighborhood convenience / liquor store.  The person in the article told of her feelings up until and through GCS which I identified with completely, but then went on to the sob story of a marriage crashing when her knowing husband went to a new job and they found out she was Trans on a security check and threatened the husband with legal action unless he divorced her ---  yada yada!!   On that note she decided her  life was ruined. --    Other problems in the Porn Press are of course the "Morality" and it is there that child endangerment stories for actual mental illness types  comes in.  Also in that media they emphasize the Fetishistic Cross Dresser classification which is an actual addiction situation and is a harmful process addiction of sex that is as terrible as Drug and Alcohol Addiction can be.  The pornographic issues and sources of information are readily available in the opening pages of a Google Search while actual Trans information is about page 200 on the engine.   A recent misadventure I had that shows how acceptable I am as my True Self is that a man who claimed to be a church elder (minister??) told me how he had never come up with legitimate information   on Trans People and actual Trans Children and he went on to brag about what he did find that was morally damning by looking for the  information.  He continued to go into detail about other pornographic sources and how nasty they were. I asked him then why HE, a MINISTER kept looking at the Porn.  He replied to me that he kept up with it to warn his congregation of the true evils he had seen so he could minister to them.  Happily for me a friend of mine came along so I could  break away from the guy who was after my soul.  (He did not read me as Trans, whew!!)
    • Ashley0616
      Just like anything else that is new it's always the thing that people fear of. People are typically afraid of change. Even something as simple as new procedure at work or the population growing. Typically just have the mindset of it's not broken then don't fix it type of attitude. The world is progressing and they need to accept that or they will eventually be left behind. A good example after WW II women working in the workforce things didn't go well at all due to a lot of butting heads. There are still even people now that think women are only meant for housework and raising babies. 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      I've actually seen a lot of people who at least tolerate the LGB and not the T. There's also some of the gay/lesbian population that, unfortunately, alienate trans people away from other parts of the community.   To me, the biggest block is probably the lack of formal exposure. If people aren't taught about LGBT they will, just like any other topic, come to misunderstandings and more. Besides, how can most LGBT people figure out that they are such if they don't know it exists? I know that, personally, I didn't realize I was a guy rather than just someone who wanted to be a guy until I was introduced to trans as a concept 
    • Ashley0616
      You're welcome. I wanted to post something new that I haven't posted yet.   
    • Ashley0616
      That's a lot of weight congratulations. I was almost about to become a K9 handler in the Air Force back in 2006 but I found out that once you get promoted to E7 you lose your dog. You can get it at E4 as long as they need them but it is usually E5. If you don't understand military jargon, I'll help you out. I didn't want to join the Marines because I actually like to be treated better. I was Security Forces and performed security, law enforcement and everything you could think of such as convoying, fire fights, search pit just to name some. It also helped that I had family that was Air Force and I went through Air Force Junior Reserves Officer Training Corps so I knew the basics of Air Force already. That's awesome that you have goals in life. I hope you get it. 
    • Davie
      Not sure what category I'd call this—don't care—I like American music. Any American. Thanks, @Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      @FelixThePickleManTrust me I know the feeling. I didn't have the guts to come out that young. It wasn't well known back then. I knew I felt completely wrong. I knew for sure my parents weren't going to help me so I hid it all. It hurt a lot to live a lie. I always pretended to be the female that I was dating. I prayed and cried every night. It's not easy because bullying has always been around and the teachers didn't really care about that stuff back then.    You can make it through this. I would like to help you out just like I have with previous members. It's going to be up to you if you would like it. It's not going to happen overnight I can promise you that. For every negative thing or comment it typically needs double the number for positive things to feel better about yourself. You unfortunately are living with your parents which they are getting used to you coming out too. Sometimes coming out you're going to lose a lot of support. I lost over 40 family members but I'm happier than what I was. I still look at the mirror and still have my issues which is typical because we know our own faults and short comings. You have to value yourself. There isn't going to be an easy life. We all face many obstacles and it's harder for the ones that have something else to deal with.   We aren't in the same boat as some people are in yachts, cruise ships, and so on. There are perks and cons to each one. The best thing is to find something that you are great at and focus on that while trying to improve on the little things. Some have rituals everyday such as a new Bible verse that is related to what you are going through or a poem there are many poems for everything. 
    • Mmindy
      G'day @Vivelacors   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums, I hope you find this place as informative and helpful as I do.   Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Tonight we will split a thick cut ribeye steak grilled outside, along with fresh asparagus shoots, apple sauce, and fresh cucumber salad. The steak has already been seasoned, wrapped in butcher paper resting to room temperature. The cucumber salad is blended and resting in the refrigerator.   Tomorrow's dinner will be Chicken drumsticks (skin on) that are already marinating in Zesty Italian dressing. Tomorrow I will smoke the drumsticks with apple-wood smoke, before crisping them up on the grill. We'll also have grilling beans, and garlic mashed potatoes.   The outside kitchen is now open.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • missyjo
      red n black cotton n lace top...long flared jeans n 4 inch wedges hugs
    • MaeBe
      Clutching of pearls because people that don’t “align with society” party to excess is part of the problem, not a symptom of one. Cis-het folks are out there airing their sexuality, reveling in their debauchery, and displaying general anti-social behaviors all the time but aren’t reacted to in the same manner.   The most important T in this conversation is Time. As long as there is not a fascist, violent, crackdown on LGBTQ+ people, our exposure to society (at least in Western society) will continue to move it towards our acceptance.
    • Ashley0616
      Chicken drumsticks by the air fryer. 
    • MaeBe
      I have three within a two block walk! You'd think I was in Seattle already! The one I have always gone to is the quintessential "local coffee shop" though; local artist's works on the wall, drinks named after customers and local geography, and it's run down just enough to feel homey. Also, I can bring my 20oz coffee mug in and get it filled for the price of a small! :D
    • MaeBe
      Eczema was my excuse. *high fives!*   It's lovely when you get a nice interaction like that. Yesterday I got a "you're so sweet" from a man who I held the door for, I don't think he saw all of me until after he'd walked past so he only picked up on my outfit and body appearance. I was so paranoid that I used too male of a voice in return, but c'est la vie. I felt really nice after it though.   I tend to try to put in a lot of effort. If I wear make up, it has to be perfect, etc. I put this pressure on myself because I, too, don't have a chance in h-e-double hockey sticks at "passing".  So, I try not to make myself an "easy target".
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...