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KymmieL

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@KymmieL glad you had dinner with your son and family. I know how great that is.  I just had my daughter here for a week. Sorry the job didn’t come through.  If it as the right one for you it will still be there September first.  But I’m sure you will get what you want.

 

All, Isaias is still too unpredictable to know how it’s going to come up the coast.  If it’s a Tropical Storm or a category one hurricane it’s no big deal.  Even a two isn’t real concerning.  The first year we lived here we had a two and the eye went right over us.  For a place that “didn’t have hurricanes “ we’ve had one four years in a row. Just not this early.  
 

Have a great day.

 

Willow

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8 hours ago, Willow said:

For a place that “didn’t have hurricanes “ we’ve had one four years in a row. Just not this early.  
 

Have a great day.

 

Willow

Don't you just hate when people tell you that. Oh, we don't get_________  yet you wind up having that type of weather anyway.

 

Kymmie

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Hi everyone 

 

I’ve been having a bit of a rough patch the past few days .  I’ve been having an overwhelming need to be full time but that just doesn’t work for my wife. While I’ve been feeling like I have, she has expressed feeling depressed.  It is in part because of me and in part over our granddaughters who just left. 
 

I guess I am deceiving her some what because I am wearing a bra and panties under my male clothes.

 

I have a question for anyone who has been on hormones.  I’ve been on progesterone for just over 6 months. How much if any breast growth is average I’ve seen some shaping and maybe ½ inch increase over the bust.

 

let me know please

 

Willow

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not sure  if prog does much there but estrodial generally up to b cup.

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@Willow from my understanding Progesterone will encourage breast grow but as with anything in life there are no specific guarantees.  Your own genetics will guide how much growth you will see.  Sorry I don't have a more positive response for you.  

 

As to the depression, you are right about a change like having the grandkids around for a spell.  It can be a bummer when they leave.  Your wife should speak with her doctor to request a mild medication and or seek out a counselor for a few sessions of conversation.  Either route may help.

 

Jani 

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I agree with Jani. Depression isn't something to mess with. Of course everyone has depression from time to time but if it remains persistent then speaking to family doctor to prescribe low dose meds is in order and conselling is never a bad thing if it does stay persistant.

 

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@Jani and @Shay thanks for your input. I tried to talk to my wife about seeing our doctor about her depression I don’t know that had a lot of agreement on her part.  
 

Jani, I realize no two of us are the same and being “elderly” according to the department of health I guess that drops my chances.  But my endocrinologist keeps asking me and frankly that’s the one thing that means the most to me.  Oh, and I don’t agree with the age definition of elderly, but that’s probably because my parents were active well into their 80s.  My grandfather was still training trotters at 85. Both he and my dad died at 88 and my mom at 91. So to me elderly is a state of mind, health and activity and I’ve got at least a score left in me.  
 

probably aren’t too many of us around that knew someone born in the 1860s, my grandfather or who had A parent born in the 1890s, my dad.  Oh and my other grandfather and my great grandfather were In Their late 80s when that was highly unlikely to live that long.  Good strong Scotch heritage.  lol

 

Hugs

 

Willow

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One of my grandfathers died at 91 and the other at 94. My father at 81. yet my mom is still going strong at 84.

 

I have been diagnosed with major depression since early 2000s. I am on meds which help, especially with my anger issues.

 

Well today was my last day shift for a few days. I close the next three days. At least I go in later so I can sleep in some.

 

Everything at home seems back to normal. The wife and youngest haven't said anything about my issues. However I have done nothing to encourage any discussion. 

 

Kymmie

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very much my background my mom died at 94, i have a 97 aunt. Ive been treated for depression from back in the 90's and when not on my med and that anger issues occur if i stop meds.

my hrt is really helping.

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Good morning 

 

waiting on a hurricane to hit us this afternoon.

 

ive been on anti depressants for about 8 years now.  Initially over anger issues and unable to control my temper.  Then our youngest granddaughter was diagnosed with cancer so my doctor added another antidepressant.  Unknown to either of the combination caused me to get GERD which led to cancer.  Now instead of anger issues I had major depression.  Finally gave in and sought help.  It didn’t take long and my therapist got my new doctor to put me on a different anti depressant. Now the only time I get depressed was when a psychiatrist tried to change the meds.  Oh and the therapist figured out I was transgender and had been since I was a child.  That knowledge was a complete relief to me, like someone lifted a mega weight off me.

 

so much happier than I’d been in many years.  And being here where we share our stories to help each other is great.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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I love you positive attitude Willow... I've always felt people react in either of 2 ways to difficult news - they either get BITTER or BETTER and you definitely are in the BETTER category - and that leads to growth... BITTER leads to swirling downward and that is sad..

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Good morning all. Hope everyone's weekend was good.  I was busy exploring more feminine things. Had a lot of firsts: Got my nails done with my daughter. Just a very light pink with topcoat.  One could easily miss it. lol. I don't have any length to my nails. I have to keep them short for teaching massage therapy.  I also got my ears pierced! It was kind of intimidating because the only places open for that are tattoo parlors. My daughter went in for her first tat and my wife for a consult so I went in for my piercing with them. Out walks the huge bald completely tatted up guy and I have to admit I was a bit self conscious but turns out his best friend was Michael and is now Michelle so he was super sweet.  Then I come out and this woman is trying to get her 7 year old to be brave and says 'Look sweety, she just got hers done and aren't they pretty?"  Great experience.  If you're in Northern VA area and need a trans friendly place I recommend "The Body Gallery".  Today is my first electrolysis appointment too.  I've been busy ;)

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41 minutes ago, Willow said:

 

 

so much happier than I’d been in many years.  And being here where we share our stories to help each other is great.

 

hugs

 

Willow

I've heard that from so many transgender people, once they start transitioning, their depression lifts considerably.  I'm happy for you Willow!

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Wow a busy day for sure @Bri2020.  A little validation to go along with it is always nice.

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Good evening 

 

waiting for the center of the storm to hit us sometime between now and midnight.

 

The storm doesn’t really concern me I’ve been through worse.  But what is bothering me is My dysphoria.  I can usually can deal with it but the past week it’s really been intense.  My usual way to help Myself isn’t working.  Really wishing I was a girl right now, making the best of things but it’s not helping as much as normal.  
 

Willow

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Evening everyone,

I've had a bit of a whirlwind the last few days. I met with a GT on Saturday. I have been seeing a therapist for my depression for almost a year but obviously this one was different, but I wasn't really prepared. Although I have seen a few other trans-women in my area I am pretty socially isolated. my GT is trans-male. Makes him the first transgender person I've talked too.

 

In other news...My wife fell this morning and broke her wrist. Broke the end of her Radius into 5 pieces. Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday but it's a little complicated. She has PAH and has to wear an infusion pump 24/7. She cannot go under general anesthetic without risk of her heart stopping.  Surgery requires specialists on-hand the whole time. I won't let her see it but I am scared I could lose her if things go wrong. I'm feeling emotionally overloaded.

 

?Liz

 

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@ElizabethStar wow, that’s got to be difficult for you both.  I’ll put in a good thought for your wife and the surgeons.  
 

Willow

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11 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I won't let her see it but I am scared I could lose her if things go wrong. I'm feeling emotionally overloaded.

@ElizabethStar We're sending Positive Thoughts & Prayers for you and your wife.

Standing Strong supporting your wife and the surgery challenges doesn't mean denying your fears.

Your strong support for her doesn't reduce your empathy, you can show both. Sometimes it's not the words you have to pass on, as much as it is that you are there, sitting quietly with a loving touch of her hand or forehead as she wakes up.

 

Best wishes, and Positive Thoughts,

 

Mindy???

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Elizabeth I'm sorry to hear of your wife's fall.  I hope all goes well with the surgery to set the bones.  

 

Good news on seeing a new therapist.  I understand the news of your wife's injury puts a damper on the meeting but it appears you had a good start. 

Hugs, 

Jani

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43 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

Your strong support for her doesn't reduce your empathy, you can show both. Sometimes it's not the words you have to pass on, as much as it is that you are there, sitting quietly with a loving touch of her hand or forehead as she wakes up.

 

Best wishes, and Positive Thoughts,

 

Mindy???

Wise words, Mindy.

Liz, just being there for your wife speaks volumes. Prayers to you both.

 

Well, my Thursday. Closing shifts today and tomorrow. At least lets me sleep in some. We are so busy at work. with only 4 of us able to be on the front counter. Our incoming freight is getting backed up. not getting put away. With our receiving gal out for suspect Covid. The manager has to do check in and returns. which takes someone off the front.

 

At least I have a job. Which I am grateful for. I am hoping to be able to take some time off next week. We are planning a ride to see our oldest. Haven't see him or his family since March. Before I came out to him. I texted him yesterday about stopping by for a visit. a generic ok came back then asked if we are just going to visit for a bit or stay the night. I told him that not sure but may stay. or we can get a hotel. Still haven't hear anything back on it. 

I need to be prepared for anything. As my oldest has probably been the one who took my coming out the worst.  I still have no idea about how my daughter in law feels. But I suspect she is the same as my son. I will be ready to just walk out and leave. Even leaving my wife there. IF the SHTF. I need to realize that this maybe the last time I not only see my oldest grandson and my granddaughter.but see my oldest son. I know it is not my fault. If he can't take the truth from me.Well the hell with him.

 

Everyone try and have a good day.

 

HUgs

Kymmie

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I don't really have anything else to add - both both of you are in my mental hug circle.

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14 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I won't let her see it but I am scared I could lose her if things go wrong. I'm feeling emotionally overloaded.

 

?Liz

 

I'm sending positive energy flowing your way.  These anesthesia people are really good nowadays and deal with Pulmonary Hypertension all the time so have faith.  That's an impressive fracture, just happy it was limited to the radius.  Hang in there.  I'm glad you found a therapist though.

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Well I'm happy to say electrolysis wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Getting a compounding pharmacist to make up BLT cream made a huge difference I think.  AND.. my practitioner says Kaiser is talking to her about being a prefered provider so its possible some or all will be covered. They were looking specifically for trans friendly providers willing to do the 60 minute or longer facial hair sessions.  Apparently it's been a challenge for them because so many didn't want to work with the trans community :(.  They already cover it for bottom surgeries for both genders.

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Thank you everyone for the thoughts and prayers.
The other side of this is I think she is starting to see the real me now. I had forgotten, she had told the ER nurse I was her wife but it could have been the pain meds talking. Either way I’m going to show her why I’m better as her wife. 
Things seem like they’re going pretty good for me right now. Yet, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and have everything fall apart.
 

?Liz

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    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
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    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
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      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
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    • Ivy
      You do you. You seem to be in a safe place if we end up with a 2025 situation.  But a lot of us are not.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
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      While Biden may be more friendly to trans folks, I'm not a single-issue voter.  I just can't choose a Democrat candidate, as I believe their actions will destroy my community and way of life.  Biden just announced that he wants to significantly increase capital gains taxes.  Maybe he intends to "tax the rich" but that is going to affect everything from land sales to grocery prices to the cost of electricity and even folks' retirement savings, as most companies make a large amount of their profits through investing in the market.  It is absolute lunacy to think that increased cost or reduced profits won't be passed on to the rest of us.  Things are going to get way worse at this rate.    Mostly, I vote in elections for state and local issues, as the national government is about as pleasant as a Porta-Potty in July.  So, either I'll do a write-in vote for president, or I'll check the box for Trump.  Anything but Biden.     
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