Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Halp, I effed up...


Recommended Posts

So I got a 2nd part-time job... At Dominos Pizza! Im their latest and greatest delivery driver during the week. So. Where's the eff up? That kinda stems from my full time job...

During the weekend I work at a warehouse. Its 3 12-hr shifts friday thru sunday and I do not present as female when I'm there and I've more or less made peace with that for the time being. The work environment isn't suitable for wigs n makeup anyways as it is always HOT and sweaty physical labor...  3 days a week as a boy aint that bad right?  Monday thru thursday is my time to let my hair down and be me but I went and did my interview and got hired at Dominos presenting as male. Stupid! Stupid!! There's really no reason I can't look pretty while delivering pizzas but I don't know how to break it to my new employers that I'm actually a woman... Halp! my 4 girly days a week are in jeopardy! Should I just show up for work today presenting female and be like "What?" Or should I be more subtle about it and warn them in advance? Ugh....

Link to post
KathyLauren

First things first: find out what the laws are where you live, and whether you have any protection for gender identity.  I know it is a patchwork of laws in the U.S., so find out what your local situation is.  Are you protected in the workplace for gender identity or not?

 

If you have workplace protection, then tell your new employer before changing your presentation.  They might have transition policies in place, or you may have to guide them.

 

If you have no protection, then you are gambling.  You could be fired for transitioning on the job, with nothing you can do about it.  You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Good luck!

Link to post
KathyLauren

BTW, congratulations on getting the job! ?

Link to post

 

35 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

You may want to hold off for a while until you get to know the company and your manager a bit better, to assess what the odds are.

 

Well isn't this just the most reasonable and conservative answer I could have hoped for!?!? Honestly my first instinct was to just throw caution to the wind and fly my pride flag straight into there... I do have protection from the law here for gender identity but having already introduced myself and set precedent as a male with my employers,  I do agree that I owe them the courtesy of talking with them about it before doing that. I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

44 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

BTW, congratulations on getting the job! ?

Thanks!!

❤️ - K

Link to post
KathyLauren
1 hour ago, QuoraQ said:

I just don't know how to bring the subject up in conversation with them... How would you do this if you were in my shoes?

 

It depends on the company.  If there is an HR department, it might be good to start there.  They would be able to tell you about company policies, and can raise the subject with you manager.  In a smaller company, the initial approach might have to be to your manager.

 

As with any coming-out, there really is no way to do it except to come out and say it.  Make an appointment to discuss a "personal matter", and then just tell them you are transgender and want to transition on the job.

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.

Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

https://biz.dominos.com/web/media/stories/lgbtq

 

So that's a good thing. With that in mind, I'd explain to my manager what happened and take it from there. After all, that's why he gets paid the big bucks.

 

Hugs!

Link to post
5 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Well, it looks like the official policy is favorable.

 

This is great! I'm so blown away and impressed that you took the time to go looking for this! Thank you Jackie!

 

Link to post

Consider this case closed! Talked to management tonight and their understanding/support was enthusiastic and honestly overwhelming! My boss n trainer immediately zapped my legal name off everything they legally could and replaced it with Kora and I'm going to my next shift as myself! I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

Link to post

Congrats Kora

that very empowering of you. It show yr strength as individual. most boss i know love that in there work force. Keep being you 

Link to post
Bri2020

 

8 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

 I'm so happy I could float away! *insert strangled squealy happy noise here* !!!!

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*.    I'm so happy for you Kora, what a huge step and you get to be your authentic self at work.  

Link to post
5 hours ago, Lexi C said:

Congrats Kora

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

49 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

*snorts morning coffee out her nose*

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

20200730_013710.jpg

Link to post
KathyLauren

Woo-hoo!  Congratulations, Kora!

Link to post
Bri2020
2 hours ago, QuoraQ said:

Thank you so much! Its funny how 3 months ago I was terrified to step outside! 

Hope that didn't hurt as much as it sounds like it would! Yeouch! Glad I made u laugh tho! Thanks you! 

 

You look great! And Happy!  The price of bringing laughter in the world is sometimes painful ;).  

 

Link to post

look good GF..

Link to post
Emily Michele

And don’t forget that the recent Supreme Court ruling makes it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity. That would be paramount to firing someone based on gender. 
Landmark LGBTQ+ Supreme Court case

 

Anyone would have big legal issues if they dismissed you based on gender presentation. 

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   12 Members, 0 Anonymous, 55 Guests (See full list)

    • claire1000
    • Chiefsrule58
    • Heather Nicole
    • KathyLauren
    • Victoria94
    • Confused1
    • Jackie C.
    • Gil83rt
    • lauraincolumbia
    • DeeDee
    • impatience
    • Jandi
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      72,451
    • Total Posts
      662,491
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      7,676
    • Most Online
      8,356

    impatience
    Newest Member
    impatience
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. CamIsAlive
      CamIsAlive
      (23 years old)
    2. Harper
      Harper
      (14 years old)
    3. JEANETTE
      JEANETTE
    4. Samsara
      Samsara
  • Posts

    • Abi
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very interesting and a positive development.  Thanks for posting, Jandi.   Carolyn Marie
    • Abi
    • Abi
    • Abi
    • Lee H
      Hi Mmindy You said, I think my GT would say something like, "There is no "wrong" place for anyone to be on the spectrum between male and female -- however, very few of us are all one or all the other." And she did say something like, "The doctor delivers the baby, takes a quick look and says, 'It's a ____.' But external genitalia do not necessarily define gender. However, we're forced into society's gender expectations based only on that quick look."   Also, throughout history and still today, there are very advanced cultures which recognize and respect more than two genders. The Greeks and Romans. Parts of India still. Gender expectations are social constructs. Gender variations are nature's constructs.   One of the early benefits of GT for me is learning that the whole point is self-acceptance, irrespective of how "far" I go, or where I stop. It's not about fitting someone else's definition of "gender transition." It's all about finding our own definition.      Good luck with your quest.   ~~A hug from Lee~~
    • Abi
    • Gil83rt
      @Charlize Thank you so much for sharing. So wonderful to hear that you and your wife have been together for 51 years! I hope I will be able to comment something similar when my partner and I are in the same position
    • Jandi
      Wow.  53 here and sunny. I do have my fire going, but unfortunately can't watch it without opening the stove door.
    • Gil83rt
      @Susan R, @Gabriel Thank you both for the warm welcome and taking the time to respond. I suppose I'm most frightened that once I start T I won't be able to look at him and find him attractive like I do now. I love kissing him, holding him, pleasing him sexually and he's the most handsome man on the planet to me. I don't know what I'd do if I still loved him this deeply but was so repulsed by men that I can't make myself hold his hand or enjoy kissing him etc. I adore cuddling with him and lying in bed with our noses touching and stroking his hair and sometimes it makes me nervous how handsome I think he is. I don't want to lose that attraction I have for him. And from most of the comments I've had on forums etc. it seems to be the general consensus that 'yes, T does change your orientation and you probably will like women afterwards' so I don't really have much hope it will be different for me. I don't think I'd mind if I was just generally more interested in sex or even found the passing woman attractive, as long as I was still able to be attracted to him, you know? Love is a wonderful thing and I have no intention of ever leaving him, but it would be really really miserable to just wake up one day and not be able to be intimate with him cause he doesn't have boobs and somehow beards now turn me off.  If that happened, do you think stopping HRT would allow me to revert back? It sounds like another depressing option I know but I might be more comfortable if there was some evidence that it is purely a hormonal thing and if I stop the T I will be able to see him the way I do now again. And then I come back round to how things are perfect just as they are (apart from me being in the wrong body) and maybe that's just the sacrifice I have to make in life in order to be with the one I love. I hate this. It's driving me mad. 😭🤦‍♂️
    • Abi
    • Heather Nicole
      Hi, @RadicalEmma! Nice to meet you! ❤️ I like your writing style.   From your backstory, it sounds like we have a lot in common. And we're about the same age, too!   Between your awesome username and utterly adorable profile image, do I detect another Bebop fan??
    • Abi
      This should apply to all relationships in my opinion.
    • Abi
      I am really glad that your experience has helped you. I think it actually made me have them worse at the time but I've been off of it for month's now. Still having tremor's and happy I don't dream much.
    • Abi
      We all need to laugh and express ourselves and what better way than the things we find that amuse us throughout our day. It can be pictures, videos, general thoughts or whatever strikes your fancy. Enjoy and hopefully you'll all have something to contribute to this thread.  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...