Pregnant Transman: Does It Help Or Hurt Us?

[Guest TBForLife]

I totally side with Laura on that one

Actually, now that you mention the skirts and corsettes....

I was Jefree Star for Halloween and I love doing femme drag. And guess what! NO ONE KNOWS I WAS BORN FEMALE at the club I do drag at sometimes.

They say "wow you'd make a wicked woman" and I'm just happy, " I know" and they say "until you talk...then you're obviously a dude"

Why should girls have all the fun anyway. A secure man can do whatever he likes, whenever he likes because he's confident in his gender expression.

In the topic of whether it helps us or hurts us that he got media attention: well honestly did you want him to go on springer? REALLY! He went on OPRAH.

The Story Needed To Be Told SOMETIME by SOMEONE. I really am happy that it was Thomas and Oprah.

We CANT HIDE ourselves and pretend we don't want babies too, or have hearts and blood and lives like everyone else. Being Public has given the rest of the world a taste of Trans people like they've Never seen. Not as a hooker or a street worker or some a small levee who got sent to jail for being tough.

A real person, a family person, a good person.

Holy positive.

And yes it's going to get bad attention from the haters. But THE MORE THEY UNDERSTAND THE LESS THEY WILL FEAR THE LESS THEY WILL HATE.

I don't care if it's ruffled your panties/boxer that he's done it but really it was a long time coming. We need to be out there and not hide in shame.

SHINE- BE YOU - BE OUT THERE- BE FABULOUS - LOVE - STAND UP - DANCE - BE PROUD - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Wow, this topic has gotten hot again. I think I'll go ahead and put in my 2 cents.

I'm going to go with what I've said before, Thomas Beatie's presence in the media both helps and hurts us. It helps because what he is doing challenges the status quo and makes people think. Most people have never met a transgendered person and don't know anything about us. Yes, the most vocal people seem to be saying some very disrespectful things, but maybe that isn't "most people". I, for one, have had some good conversations with some of my cisgendered friends that came out of conversations about Thomas Beatie. My friends are all fairly liberal, accepting people...but they don't know a lot about TS people or their experiences. For most of my friends, I am the first transgendered person they've ever known.

Thomas Beatie hurts us in some ways too. Some of the ways are subtle and relate to how he's interacted with the media. The biggest problem I see isn't directly from the kind of shows he's been on. He's come across as a nice guy and not a Jerry Springer-esque freak. I'm sure people have taken noticed of how balanced and normal he seems. What worries me is what effect this has on doctors that treat transgendered clients. Doctors run a business. They want to keep clients. I feel like someone who has gotten as much press as Thomas Beatie could serve to make doctors reluctant to treat us?

Why would doctors become reluctant to treat transgendered clients because of Thomas' actions? Because the attention he is getting is attention that could also fall on them. I know it isn't right, but a lot of doctors aren't 100% comfortable openly advertising that they'll treat TS clients. I've run into this already. For example, this one surgeon my therapist mentioned to me doesn't advertise that he does chest reconstruction for FTM's. He'll take referrals from select therapists, but he'd probably quit doing the surgery if word spread too much. I imagine that he's afraid that, if he gets a reputation for that, his more "conservative" client base might not choose to work with him anymore. I'm sure a lot of doctors feel this way. They don't mind helping, but don't want to lose other clients because of it. This isn't okay, but does seem like something that is at least possible. When someone like Thomas Beatie is in the media, it makes doctors afraid that they'll end up in the spotlight. How do they know that transmen they are treating won't do exactly the same thing as Thomas? They don't.

As far as Thomas' right to have kids and to express his identity the way he wants, I'm cool with all that. I personally am so uncomfortable with anything associated with the female experience that I wouldn't EVER choose to go that route (don't think I'm alone in this around here). To me, pregnancy is the ultimate expression of femaleness, so I want no part of it. None. The thought of being pregnant upsets me on a visceral level...so I don't get how Thomas would be good with that. Still, if he wants kids and wants to pass on his genes, and this is the only way he can do it, then cheers to him for being so brave. Sometimes it is hard for me to separate my own revulsion with respect to being pregnant from my opinions about other people doing it. Even when it is a heterosexual woman who identifies as female, I still think being pregnant is GROSS. Sorry. It comes from my own hang ups...but at least I realize that.

Oh...and I also agree with the point Laura made about how the actions of one member of our community affect everyone. People tend to generalize things they believe about one salient example to the entire group. For example, when some southern redneck ends up on the news for committing a hate crime, it reflects badly on all southerners. Here's another example. I'm originally from South Carolina. South Carolina, as far as I know, still flies the confederate flag on the state house grounds. It was all over the news a while back. Then I went out on graduate school interviews. As soon as people saw my name tag and where I was from, they brought up the confederate flag thing. I don't think the confederate flag should be flown on the state house grounds. However, because South Carolina was in the news so much, when I'd meet people they would have this idea that I drive a pick up truck and have confederate flags all over my car...which is so not the case.

[Guest TBForLife]

What makes a man?

It's NOT endowment or physical secondary sex characteristics or conformity to a male gender stereotype from modern popular culture.

That just makes it easier to pass and please my friends!

Every man has feminine traits. EVERY MAN. Some of us are just more secure and able to embrace them than others. Hey my fav color is pink. And I look wild in it.

I see myself as a man who has many feminine traits. Be it my gentle nature and nurturing soul, or my ability to bear children. Those are traits. Things that are mine. They belong to me, and are a part of my being but do not govern or decide who I am as an individual no matter the weight of their influence in my life.

I am a secure and independent man who is free of those judgments. I'm not afraid to cry, hug, love and be loved. Or bear children. It's an act of love. Not an act of gender.

So when people think of trans guys as females who hate being women and hate their bodies and everything female about themselves then no I don't fit into this and neither do a lot of guys who are feeling pretty left out or abnormal because they think that being trans is going to have to mean they have to change who they are to fit into the trans box.

When I came out I started dressing all tough and manly and looking all rugged and being so fake and stupid that I just should have been slapped.

Now I wear what I want, do what I want and act how I want and I know I'm a man. A pretty awesome man at that

Either way. About Southerners. I play a LOT of World Of Warcraft. And I have friends in a Guild called "Hillbilly Hellraisers" And 90% of them are Texan.

At first thought I was like ooo they're going to HATE me if I come out and then I realized a bunch of them are gay and the rest are totally accepting.

Awesome people they are. Totally fun to game and chat with, great guys and gals!

[Guest Cody_T]

well today in my EMT class he came up because we were covering obstetrical emergencies...

one person adamantly refused to acknowledge him as a man saying that if he had a uterus and could use it he was a woman. No one but me would argue to the contrary, because most of them were of the same opinion. They also maintained that no one could be male because they 'wanted' to.

another said that there were probably tons of guys like that having kids, and everyone seemed to accept it as a matter of course that trans guys all love to have kids.

Basically, in a whole class of people I couldn't find one person who didn't argue with me on one of the above points.

and I know that's just ignorance speaking on their parts, but it's pretty indicative of the typical opinion of everyone I've heard talk about it

[Guest JamieDude]

I messed up my phrasing. I was trying to explain that it annoys me when people use the speech marks for his pronouns, as if dragging them into question, instead of just using the appropriate male pronouns. I use male pronouns for him, and it seems that when people type '"he" does this' or whatever, it's saying 'I should use male pronouns, but I don't want to' instead of affording him the respect he deserves.

I clearly didn't explain myself well.

I don'y plan to go to the press "ftm in a skirt", but nor do I plan to change who I am, and what I like doing, just for society's norms. When I pass, I'll be able to wear the clothes I want to wear, and still be seen as male. I'm not talking about corsets and skirts as daily wear, but for goth nights / punk nights at clubs, I don't see that people should be tied to one set of clothing or behaviours because of the gender identity that they have.

I don't wear these things at the moment, becuase it's so dysphoric to wear clothes that don't cover my body up in the least feminine way possible, but when I can like my body, I can do the same for my presentation.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Think of it this way: Do you think if he had been born with no female reproductive organs, he would have had the desire to experience pregnancy? And if so, do you think there are biological men out there who have the desire to experience pregnancy? Because if not, this means there is something that separates him from biological men, simply because he's okay with being pregnant and being a dude...

Something else I kinda randomly thought of is the possibility that he's gender-queer.

I don't know, I'm personally very absolute about gender, like I wouldn't feel like the male I want to be physically unless I was a "perfect" physical male. So that's the biggest internal conflict I'm having, but like I think I mentioned before, it makes it hard for me to comprehend the way Beaty rationalizes. I tend to just ignore things like this that flood the media. Just because I don't get it doesn't mean it's not ok. It's his decision so it's not really my business anyways.

[Guest silverpetals]

one?

[Guest My_Genesis]

well i agree with the "best answer" person completely

although i really don't know what to say about that guy because I don't know what it feels like to have a burning desire to get pregnant. maybe he has to much estrogen?

and I actually know a lot more straight girls who are creeped out by pregnancy than I ever thought I would. Because I always thought it was kind of a "maternal instinct" thing so I didn't think I'd meet a lot of girls who have no desire to experience pregnancy. lol

[Guest Nicodeme]

He's doing what's outside of the norm

Reading those words made me cringe. I'm sure many of us here agree that falling outside of norms is not automatic criteria for something being bad. Actually, I think to an extent it's hypocritical to say that because he's a man he can't do this classically female thing; isn't it that kind of stereotyping mindset what we're against?

I agree that publicizing it was not exactly the best idea, but I'm sure that his original intent by sending in his story to The Advocate was to raise awareness, first and foremost. There are plenty of trans people who have had children before they transitioned and it had no bearing on their gender identity. They were no less male or female for having children. I don't see why having a child after transition should be all that different. Personally, I'm quite glad I heard of this because the biggest mental block regarding transition for me was the idea of missing out on having kids. (And to those who would like to remind me of the possibility of adoption, I'd like to say that I do fully intend to adopt at least one of my children.) When I saw this happening, I realized I had options. Yes, adoption was an option, but the desire to have a child that is biologically your own or to experience the physical process for yourself is very strong, and adoption is frustrating for some people because of the legal hoops they have to jump through and the likelihood that they might not end up with a child after all (if, for example, the mother from whom one is adopting has a change of heart).

As for the health concerns, I'm sure he had that in mind. What made me worry was his age more than the possible aftereffects of having been on testosterone; to me, 34 is pretty late to be having a baby. However, both of his kids, from what I have heard, are perfectly healthy.

There are definitely negative effects from all of this and I don't mean to trivialize them if that's what it seems like I'm doing, but I refuse to believe that it doesn't help us at least a little bit in that it is a pretty powerful reminder that gender expression/roles and gender identity are separate things, and that we need to do what feels right and makes us happy. For the people who insist that the world's not ready for this sort of thing, I can only say, "you have to start sometime."

By the way, for those who are wondering whether having been born biologically male would make someone less likely to want to bear a child, the answer is no. I know there are transwomen out there who would love that opportunity, as well as my own fiance (xe's genderqueer, but my point remains the same), and several cismen that I know, when I asked, have told me that given the chance, they would take it.

[Guest Missundaztood]

I think he should have the right to do whatever he wants. He has the right to have a child. What we think about that has nothing to do with it. It's none of our business. Do you really think transphobia would become any worse because of this one event? I don't. I also think a lot of people's responses have been totally binary based. That a man should behave this way, and a woman should behave another. That's so not true, and anyone who's trans knows that. There are no stereotypes. As for the binary trans-fascists, I'll do whatever I want with my life, and if they want to judge me for that, then it says more about them than me.

[Guest Shaney]

Ok.... I know some of these quotes are really old postings, but I found them so disturbing so I wanted to bring them up and comment on them..

Plus, there is the whole fundamental idea of being a man. I mean, I guess I could understand more if someone were to identify as genderqueer or androgyne or something, to go through the whole ordeal of becoming a man and then to chose to be pregnant... it seems contradictory.

There is really no fundamental idea of being a man. What makes a man? Really. Being stereotypical won't make anyone more of a man. We are what we feel we are on the inside.

He felt he wanted to use his reproductive organs. Who is anyone to judge him for that? It doesn't make him less of a man.

How can someone expect to be accepted as a man and then go off and get pregnant. The baby still won't be 'theirs'.

Wow. Am I really reading this in a transgendered forum... I'm stunned. He's a man and should be respected as such.

And yes, the baby is very much so theirs. Biology isn't what makes a family.

The issues should be the health of the child [who may end up transgendered or intersex zirself...]

And kids with gay parents end up being gay themselves. Or, how was it now again...

I'm sorry but "he" is not a man. I know I probably don't have any room to judge but men do not get pregnant. I don't see how someone can go through transition, getting hormones and surgery, then go out and get pregnant and still expect to be called a "man".

Again. Wow. To read things like this in a transgendered forum.. that an FtM who chooses to get pregnant isn't a man.. Wow..

How can she expect to be called a man if she's going to go and get pregnant? Sorry, but like it or not, only women can get pregnant so she is choosing to live her life as both a man and a woman. (…) I will call her a she so long as she carries a baby and delivers it, like any biological woman would do. It has nothing to do with parenting for me, as kids are raised in worse situations, it just isn't right. If you want to be a man, then be one and accept the roles men play in society. I want to be a woman, I *am* a woman, and I embrace it. Clearly this...person...has issues with that.

Wow

And I keep saying wow. Because I can't believe that I'm reading these kind of posts.. To call an FtM a 'she'.. How can someone who is trans themselves be that disrespectful?!

And it's not only women who are getting pregnant. Any person who has functioning ovaries and all that stuff, can get pregnant.

Any kid being raised in a family filled with love, is a lucky kid. There's nothing wrong whatsoever with being lgbtq and having kids. If society has a problem with it, then it's the society that needs to change.

And gender roles are nothing but unnecessary limitations. Why try be someone you're not, just to try to fit into the little narrow box? We don't need rules that tell us how we should or shouldn't walk, talk and act. We need to be ourselves.

No one referred to him with female pronouns. He is a man because he calls himself and identifies as one. (...) Referring to him as female or with female pronouns such has her or she is against the rules here despite how anyone feels.

As you can see from my quote above, Laura, there are people here referring to him with female pronous...

[Guest van-na]

I guess this old for many, but I never watch new movies either.

I always wait for the book to come out

Anyway this is all new to me, and all I can say is:

It doesn't matter if it hurt or helped.

It is all just another part of the Rainbow.

A beautiful Rainbow!

vanna

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

MEN can be made pregnant, there is a chinese man(with no female reproductive tract) who was made pregnant (notice I say made pregnant not got pregnant). The "experiment" is being supervised by one of the big US hospitals and it was done with the man's concent. I will assume he knows that the female hormones he has taken to maintian the pregnacy will likely have ruined his manhood. It was his choice. Do I agree with it? It's not really my call, he wanted it and they did it for him. Personally i find it a bit odd but what ever floats his boat.

I am also aware of the story that this thread is about, my initial reaction was what a wonderful thing to do for the family.

[Guest viv]

Hi Laura,

Sorry, I cant go one way or the other. I believe the general public will see this as a ""fad""

a one off , the story goes "off the boil" and is forgotten (imo). Sad, though as medical science is

taking huge leaps forward <anti organ rejection> medicine is an example , it will be possible to

transplant a womb into a trans woman soon. Twenty years ago I sat in a delivery room and watched

my partner give birth to our son, I loved, respected, and was so proud of her . BUT, my over riding

emotion was envy, I could not control my envy . I wanted to give birth to my son . I have only

ever had maternal feelings towards my son and believe me Laura, I have cried. So , what will this

event do re our people ??Hopefully we will be seen in a better light . Luv, viv

[Guest Lidian]

It sort of makes the entire thing look a bit whimsical?

Rather then an actual psychologically diagnosed condition, that is recognised as such and treated like one. it makes transgenders appear like they simply want to pick and chose what aspects of each gender they want.

Personally i don't care what he wants to do with his life, it's his choice if he wanted to appear male but retain certain female aspects. I'm certain there are a lot of transmen who don't opt for full SRS.

The wrong part was involving the media, whether he's aware of it or not he is being treated a little bit like a circus freak, and unfortunantly because the majority of transgenders don't attempt to bring attention to the fact the only face people see of the community is ones like this, which does reflect poorly on us...

To be perfectly honest with you, I respect him for wanting this and going ahead with it despite the obvious pitfalls. I think it's adding a new level of confusion to transgenders and i think it makes us even harder to understand and accept by people who already find us confusion and difficult to understand...

Question though: i was under the impression you couldn't legally change your gender unless you had had irreversible gender surgery and where to all intents and purposes the other gender?

Clearly..he hasnt had irreversible anything...i'm sure medically speaking he'd still be considered female??

[Guest April63]

Nobody here is trying to judge Thomas (I think), we're just commenting on the social implications of the pregnancy.

Pregnancy is a female action, and so the rest of the world (not the people here), may view Thomas, and all transsexuals, in a different light now. Many people here think it is a negative one, some think it is positive.

[Guest Shaney]

it makes transgenders appear like they simply want to pick and chose what aspects of each gender they want.

But hey, we CAN pick and choose whatever we want from each gender!

(well, apart from the things that is biologically impossible then)

[Flint]

After i've heard people saying all sorts of horrible things about transexuals since the news about the pregnant man i defo think it's hurt us more than anything. It's put it in the media yes, but i feel it's put it in the media in VERY bad light. I'm not judging what he has done, it is completley up to him. But i really don't think it has done us any good.

One thing people often seem to think is that we're just selfish people who want to have eveyrthing. I know people like this and livewith people who believe this. I've heard some people saying how it just proves their point that 'crossdresser's are insane and just plain selfish. They want everything. I want to grow my hair back, but i can't have it all" thaat type of thing is often said.

I think the most helpful thing transexuals can have in the media, is not aload of waffle about the scientific effects. But a respectable, upstanding transexual person. A person everyone can't help but love like many people in the media. Someone who gives a message that we're 'normal' that we're not 'monsters' I'm not saying this Thomas gives the message that transexuals are monsters and things but i defo think people are just looking at it thinking "What the love? you wanted to be a man...but yet you're now carrying a baby?! get your head straight mate!"

[Guest ChalenAustin]

Y'all begged for me when you posted this

I don't think it'll hurt us too badly in the long run.

He already had a second baby (a boy) and you never heard about it.

A few months before another man gave birth to twins- the first multiple birth in recorded transman history and it never went fore than a couple papers and an online article. I guess you haven't heard

I think it's good in the sense that it shows other transman what their future reproductive options could be and it did point out some doctors who would be willing to work wityh a pregnant transmen which is the answer to many more people than you think.

There's a sow on Discovery health on Tues. 8-9 eastern time in the US called Transgendered and Pregnant and it's about a transwoman who got her transman husband pregnant.

No Oprah or Barbara Walters knocking here.

P.S. if any one has a link to the full Barbara Walters interview with the Pregnant Man I'd really like to see it- can't find it anywhere's.

[Guest ChalenAustin]

PS.S. i WANT TO POINT OUT FOR ALL OF YOU GUYS AND GALS TO KNOW...

In our system it is illega for a transperson or family with a trans would-be-parent to adopt, foster, or sometimes even keep a child they had before the person's transition.

Fr some starting a family after hormanal transition may be the only way for them to have a family. It varies all over the world.

In Japan they they have taken kids away before or after transition on either parents parts.

It is very difficult to reverse the effect T has on female reproductive organs but it can be gone. Some bodies can repair everything themselves.

We are also not sure if transsexuality occurs in the womb or a genetic fingerprint showing up in the differences in the brain is a result of that or just a visable symptom of being trans to begin with as not all trans or gender varying people will have any genetic "proof" of being trans/different in any way.

[Guest ChalenAustin]

I think everyone who made these comments has to really stop and think here.

They should be ashamed of themselves for giving a member of our very own community the treatment they are seeking refuge from here.

I'm vey sad but I truly grateful for you Shaney for hunting these quotes down and pointing them out.

I guess I'm a girl too than.

nuts.

Reproduction is a human need. If I had the other stuff I'd do it that way. Since I don't I'll use what I do got.

I think some of the people who made these comments are on the younger side so maybe in time they will think differently when certain issues like starting a family are more age relevent to them but stop and think about what you're saying.

I can stand the idea of pregnancy but I can only imagin what it would actually be like and by then it'd be too late to decide "I really don't like this". I'm not gender-queer at all and the ideation doesn't make me or anyone who thinks like me either on that alone. I know GROWN MEN who would carry they families babies if it meant they could have childern.

Some of you are acting like he got pregnant just for the experiance and wants to do it again and again just for the experience.

You don't get pregnant b/c you always wanted to try a natural birth or have a c-section or an epiderol at least once in your life.

Anyone who does it just for those experiences shouldn't have any kids at all!

(though I've also known woman who have- sad isn't it?)

Look at some butch lesbians who've carried. Maybe they didn't want to or they're partner could not but they did it for the outcome not the journey to get they and by judging anyone soley on their journey is disgusting and quite frankly non of our business anyways.

I shake my head sadly at the mere thought of our own turning against one of their onw b/c they do not see the greater meaning of undertaking this path.

Being trans and generally predujized against we of all people should understand where someone non atypical sexual or gender specific conforming is coming from and by taking the road of judgement and stereotpying these members have learned nothing and are actingno better than the poeple who condemn them.

Ok.... I know some of these quotes are really old postings, but I found them so disturbing so I wanted to bring them up and comment on them..

There is really no fundamental idea of being a man. What makes a man? Really. Being stereotypical won't make anyone more of a man. We are what we feel we are on the inside.

He felt he wanted to use his reproductive organs. Who is anyone to judge him for that? It doesn't make him less of a man.

Wow. Am I really reading this in a transgendered forum... I'm stunned. He's a man and should be respected as such.

And yes, the baby is very much so theirs. Biology isn't what makes a family.

And kids with gay parents end up being gay themselves. Or, how was it now again...

Again. Wow. To read things like this in a transgendered forum.. that an FtM who chooses to get pregnant isn't a man.. Wow..

Wow

And I keep saying wow. Because I can't believe that I'm reading these kind of posts.. To call an FtM a 'she'.. How can someone who is trans themselves be that disrespectful?!

And it's not only women who are getting pregnant. Any person who has functioning ovaries and all that stuff, can get pregnant.

Any kid being raised in a family filled with love, is a lucky kid. There's nothing wrong whatsoever with being lgbtq and having kids. If society has a problem with it, then it's the society that needs to change.

And gender roles are nothing but unnecessary limitations. Why try be someone you're not, just to try to fit into the little narrow box? We don't need rules that tell us how we should or shouldn't walk, talk and act. We need to be ourselves.

As you can see from my quote above, Laura, there are people here referring to him with female pronous...

[Guest ChalenAustin]

Okay okay tis is the last ting I'm gonna say on the subject.

(this is what I get for posting as I read)

The surregate thing- if they ever went to court or something turned sour between the the surregate would probably win costudy over the child.

Anyting's better than a crossdresser family right? Just give 'em to the surrigate.

That's all. So freakin' aditated can't even spell right....

[Guest Quinn]

Well I've said it before in this thread, seeing as the title question is does it help or hurt us, not how do you personally feel about the decision, but regardless.

Yes. It does/did hurt us. Doesn't matter if it even hurt us for an hour, a day, a week - it still did for a while. It may trickle on slightly in the future, who knows. But from an unbiased, strictly-answering-the-question point of view, why yes. Yes it did hurt us in the public eye a bit. Yep. I don't think it was incredibly helpful.

Now...personally? Well yes, there are stigmas that say men just do not, not, not, not get pregnant and also never should want to. I think it's a bit illogical to think no man, biological or otherwise, in the whole wide world of billions of people has ever wanted to be pregnant. I also think it's illogical to think in the whole wide world of billions that there wouldn't be a man, biological or otherwise, who would try and take advantage to be pregnant if they could.

However, it's going to be taboo.

In my mind, it's sort of like this. First being black was something awful, then it was okay after years of fighting. Being a woman was something awful, then it was okay after years of fighting. Being gay was/is something still taboo, and it's still being fought over. Being trans/genderqueer/gender whatever is still a lot more taboo, and still in the wings waiting to be truly fought for and recognized. And, therefore, and further oddities or things that are abnormal within the trans society will be viewed as even more taboo.

And, seeing as just being trans still has us waiting in line to truly fight for our rights, I think it's safe to say that being a statistically speaking "abnormal" trans person rather than a statistically speaking "atypical" trans person will have to wait even longer before it gets time to gain notice and have people start rallying behind it. Unfortunate though it may be, it seems to be the pattern of the world.

[Guest Crow]

Ok, since I have never posted on here... I do want to say something...

Are we talking about whether this is helpful or hurtful to the community or whether it should matter? Because, I truly think that it's neither. Those who are against trans people will always be and will always find the research to back up their points even if it is many years outdated. Christians against gay and straight people still use passages from Leviathan even though Jesus says to love thy neighbour. Just because they don't accept it, doesn't mean that there aren't many other people who will change their minds on this sort of thing or decide "hey, maybe gender is a spectrum?"

I know biological females who would rather adopt then have children themselves, the whole idea of getting pregnant repluses them. On the same line, I know biological females who would willingly have four children that are bilogically theirs. I know men who have wondered about how it would feel to be pregnant and other men who are just like, it's a female thing.

Just like gender is a spectrum, thinking is a spectrum. No one is exactly the same as everyone else and no one can always understand the views of everyone else. All we want in this world, as human beings, is to be accepted for who we are. Whether male, female, transgender, bi gender, two spirited, other, gay, straight, bi, christian, catholic and etc. We all just want to be able to live our lives. Do we have a right to judge this man if he feels that for his safety, he has to publicize his pregnancy in order to be understood? It's his choice what he does with his money, his life and his body. It is our choice how we view it.

I support this man in being able and willing to be pregnant in order to give his wife a biological child. I am a bit annoyed at his choice to go on oprah but it is his choice on the matter. I am, however, surprised as to why this would matter when this really isn't a negative or a positive thing but just how a person wants to be. If you want to live your life, I would support it, if you went on a talk show then I would congratulate you. Discuss the positiveness or possible negativeness of it, which I already said my views on. But don't descriminate against this man's choices and the hardships that he willingly decided he may go on, it is HIS choice, it could be a wrong choice or it could be a right chice but it is his choice that we can't judge. How we personally feel can be stated but some of the statements were a bit mean weren't they?

Some of this muddle is a bit confusing but I'm tired so I'm rambling. But my view is still valid, I am accepting of everyone as long as they don't hurt people purposely and directly. I think they should be able to do what they want and be allowed to live how they want without descrimination. Their choices are their own, silly to some of us and ok to others of us but still theirs even if it may not be ours. There will always be people who dislike the minorities and will use whatever they can to slam us more but there are also people who WILL see this man but respect his choice. Will understand the concept of gender not being a scale. Now.. I'm off to bed and don't get angry at me for my ramble. It's directed at a view, not at specific people. It's just stating my view when I really should be in bed.

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

My only problem is when he publicized this he put the trans-community right back into the FREAK category. I really wish they would of kept it to themselves and had their babies and left the rest of us out of the discussion.

Charlene Leona