No one should ever feel that they do not belong here

[Guest Juniper Blue]

You know, I think I am more of a Centaur ...

or maybe more of a pain in the Centaur.

[Guest Juniper Blue]

I still think the idea of sharing the Forum could work .. as long as the Title said something like: Transgenderists and No/Ho No/So ... to me, it woudl not feel like segregation as we are able to post anywhere ... it just gives us a very specific place to discuss no hormone or no surgery options for those who need them.

I just keep thinking of a recent thread that a very sweet woman posted. She was feeling very depressed because her body could not handle HRT. She had 3 rude remarks directed at her in one day and it was absolutely devastating.

I can't imagine how painful it would feel to read of others right now who are bounding joyfully forward in their own physical transitions while she has to sit back and recalibrate ... carefully deciding where to go form here.

Those of us who know what it is like to live as Trans Gender or Gender Variant without hormones and/or surgery could provide support.

Many of us are familiar with being more physically "other" .. For myself, I have lived my entire life as a very visible androgyne and I am in it for the long haul.

One develops a type of resilience over time ... There are some strategies that help to deal with stuff like the stares and comments ... there are also some physical things that can be done to help cultivate one's desired appearance and to help one feel more "right" .. to ease body and/or gender dysphoria ... There are lots of things that can be discussed .... but mostly, it is a special type of core-confidence and sense of self-worth that one must strengthen and it is easier to do if one has a group of friends who can relate first-hand ... our journey is similar to the journey of Trans Gender people who are using HRT or Surgery but we have different needs (and often) different life circumstances.

Therefore, we need to develop different muscles, if you will ... Think of it as Gender-Bending Pilates ... the No/Ho and No/So Forum Pilates Class ( Hosted in the spacious studio our very kind Transgenderist friends.) It could be a type of Pilates Class for folks who need a new approach to gender expression.

Hugs,

JB ( Pilates Instructor)

[Guest Lani]

[Guest Juniper Blue]

Hey Lani .. thanks for making it our fist Gender-Bending Pilates class! Can you help me up?? ... I believe I may have pulled a muscle!

[Guest Micha]

Once again I find myself lost in the woods of discussions. . .

Still want to appreciate the original post. So there you have it. I find it hard to fit into my own life, or even my own head. I find it hard to be honest and not abrasive all at the same time. I find myself wondering whose toes I'm gonna step on next, and how to avoid it. I dunno where I fit in to society or even this community, but I've never felt unwelcome or as less than another group. Transgender describes me as accurately as anything, androgynous even more so, but nothing's going to be perfect as long as I describe myself as anything other than "me."

I hope that anyone else who feels cheated or neglected can find a similar message among the massive mountains of posts on this site, to help them feel as whole and important as anyone else. It would be hard to navigate this site if there wasn't separation, but separation implies inequality. Reconciliation? Beyond me. . .

[Guest SparklyDust]

...Well~ Interesting thread is interesting.

First off, cheers for the OP, Brenda. Needed to read something like that. :3

Don't feel...ah...qualified enough as of yet to comment on the issue of how best to compartmentalise the forums XD...But JB's Gender-Bending Pilates class sounds thoroughly excellent. May just have to poke my virtual head in the door~...X3

...Aaaand that's mah first kindaproper forum-post~! Aw yeeeah~ -dances around-

[Guest KimberlyF]

I would like to see a no surgery or no hormones forum so that there will be a specific place to discuss options.

I would toss in a different point of view. I consider such completely valid option. not to have SRS or not to have hormones. Not everyone valles into the transsexual category. Even for transsexuals, such options are valid as well. As it is there is so much focus on hormones and surgery within transsexuals the bit, of other discussion that does occur as to the different paths is good. It would be dissipointing to see people who may identify as transsexual (or whatever preferred term) that do not see hormones and/or surgery as the only path getting the message they aren't really transsexual. Likewise it could reinforce the idea that hormones and surgery are a must for transsexuals.

So while I see the good intent in the idea, I could also see that good intention having an effect different than what is desired.

This was an interesting prediction. In JB's recommendation for a new area, I don't believe the mention of if one were or weren't Transsexual even came up, yet TPTB feel that anyone who can't, won't or isn't sure of how they will proceed shall be labelled a transgenderest?

And earlier in the thread there was talk of the outrage over discussions by 'true transsexuals'. I'm sure I'm just confused here by the topic.

[KathrynJulia]

I would like to add my thoughts to this discussion. For over 50 years I was an outcast in society. Everyone on this site understands outcast because you also have at times felt like an outcaste. Everyone on this board at one time or another has the experience of being looked down upon. You all know what it's like to hear some sick joke and know that it in some way pertains to you. Every person on this board has known fear, you know anxiety. You all know what living a lie feels like. You know what hiding feels like. All of those feelings and emotions bind us all alike and together. I care about everyone on this board because you have suffered the same feelings that I have. We all want society to accept us and allow us to live in peace. We all want to live free of prejudice, free from hatred, being stare at, being put down, fear of being hurt. I share all those feelings with you whether you are MTF, FTM,CD, or any of the other terms included in the definition of Transgendered. I care about you and you will always be first in my hierarchy because I love people. Folks, you are all people. All special to me, all worthy of my respect. You are unique individuals. I support diversity of people and I enjoy diversity and I am glad it exists because it makes life fun and interesting. I've experienced to much fear in my life, well no more, no more pain. I have reached that point in my life where I am going to live free. I'm going to be me and me loves and cares about people no matter what walk of life you come from. It's taken me too many years to arrive here, but I feel so alive. I feel happy and everyone on this site has played a part in that transformation. No matter where you are in life, I love and appreciate you being you. Hugs to all Kathryn

[Guest KimberlyF]

One of the groups guiding the media voice for the LGBT community, GLAAD says don't use transgendered-some find it offensive I've found on the net-but then someone will find just about everything offensive. And GLAAD doesn't even recognize the word transgenderist on their website.

Just an FYI if you want to see where other segments of the country stand.

[Guest Kelly92]

Thank you, that is what i really needed too. Ok its starting to make more and more sense now...

thank you, very much x x x

[Guest Juniper Blue]

Great first post Sparkly Dust! Welcome to Gender Bending Pilates!

[Guest Juniper Blue]

Hugs to YOU Kathryn!

Would you like to lead the next Gender Bending Pilates class ??!! I seem to have pulled a muscle and can not get off the floor.

Hugs,

JB

Yes .. Kimberly ... I am thinking that the No/So and No/Ho Forum woudl include participants form all parts of the Trans Gender Umbrella just as the other forums welcome everyone. My think is is that No/Ho and No/so options could be discussed in such a way that the discussions are clearly not aimed at those who are able and willing to pursue HRT and/or Surgery. The forum woudl still be very supportive of all people under the Trans Gender Umbrella it woudl simply provide special support and a safe place for folks who are not able to take HRT or do surgeries ( or who identify as No/Ho or No/So for personal reasons but identify as Trans Gender or Gender Variant just as strongly as anyone else.

I am in support of surgeries and hormones for those who need them. For myself, I needed surgery but not hormones. I experienced body dysphoria which was surgically resolved. I am androgyne and so my gender issues are different in that I do not identify as male yet I do not fit the gender profile that most people woudl associate with being female. I do not need T to meet my physical ideals as they are currently met as I am extremely androgynous in my appearance and meet my personal ideal.

So, for ME .. I am No/Ho ... I support others decision to use hormones if it is right for them.

I do want to share what I know about T with those who have questions and are seeking information but I feel uncomfortable doing this in a general setting, (like the FTM Forum.) My views on T seem to be (often) unwelcome there even when advice has been requested by the Original Post Author. I have lots of very good information on health and fitness ... I was a personal fitness trainer and a massage therapist with professional athletes for many years .. so, I could provide lots of natural alternative for female bodied androgynes and even for Trans Men who want to develop a strong and muscular body without synthetic T. This type of information would be perfect to share on a No/Ho No/So forum where people may be searching for information on the Ricks of T and on alternatives to T. I I don't know as much about HRT for women but someone else out there probably does.) Anyway .. this is why I feel that we need a Gender-Bending Pilates Class ... No/Ho No/So Forum. ( either shared or one of our own.)

Kimberly .. can you come to Pilates??

Hugs,

JB

[Guest KimberlyF]

I don't usually sweat by choice. I could watch from my climate controlled chamber and drink a latte. It is supposed to be over 100 here tomorrow. Just thinking about it makes me nervous.

[Guest Juniper Blue]

I wish that we could find a cooler place for our Pilates class.

Hmmm ...

Carolyn .. any news on if the Title on the Transgenderist Forum will be approved to Include No/Ho No/So Pilates??

I hope so ...

I am feeling kind of deflated.

Or may that's just dehydrated ...

[Guest KimberlyF]

I'm just wondering how does it make people feel when after all the talk, someone who's been here a while just decides to walk away? Do you ever wonder what else you could have done, or do you think you've done everything you can?

[Carolyn Marie]

I'm just wondering how does it make people feel when after all the talk, someone who's been here a while just decides to walk away?

I'm always sad when that happens, Kim, and I always wonder why. But its the nature of places like this; its rare when someone stays a long time, and there are as many reasons for leaving as there are people who come here. There are many I've befriended here, and their loss leaves a hole in my heart. Sometimes it makes me hesitate to make that close connection. But now I'm giving TMI.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie