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Where do you get your clothes from?

Guest Sandra

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So tonight I was a Walmart's doing some shopping and thought perhaps I might pick up a few female articles of clothing, but I was put off by all the people walking around and the employees. I was hoping I'd only have to deal with one person knowing-the cashier, I could live with that...but not the random people walking around at that late hour. Especially since I look very masculine and I think I stand out since I'm above average looking. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to buy clothes from better female stores, but they'd be more of a challenge than Walmart.

I know some TSs and CDs have no problem just buying whatever they want, but I cannot bear people giving me strange looks for picking up female clothing. The only way I see myself pulling it off is either with a female friend/relative who knows my feminine side and none of them do, or to simply order the clothes online but then there's the problem of improperly fitting clothes and also delivery to my address (I don't live alone).

I've also heard about buying from thrift stores-but I'm not keen on getting used female clothing, though I have seen some nice girly items there the few rare times I've been to them. Anyhow, I'm wondering how you ladies manage to acquire all your clothing so perhaps I can do the same, but I'd like to be very discreet about it.

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Guest MsGsptlsnz

Well Sandra, let me tell you what I do.

First off, I came out to my wife about a month ago. She flipped out mostly about the money angle, buying clothes that I don't wear outside the house. So I am on a very strict allowance these days. I have to make $20 a week plus whatever tips I get stretch for all my shopping needs. So Walmart, Kmart, Thrift Stores and Craigslist are pretty much all I can do.

When I shop at Walmart or Kmart I go in, get what I want and head for checkout. I look for a self checkout lane if they have them (Walmart here does, Kmart doesnt) if not I look for a female cashier. If they say anything about a why I am buying these things I say "gift for my wife" or "wife asked me to get this for her". You see, most men are deathly afraid of buying womens stuff for fear of being thought of as gay. When you are ballsy enough to buy for your wife the female cashier thinks it's adorable and won't bother you anymore. So what if you don't have a wife. Dont worry about needing a ring or other things like that, most people wont notice.

Thrift Stores are pretty much the same as Kmart, but I find the cashiers are so far down on their luck that they don't want to loose the job by offending a paying customer. So they don't say anything. I had one gal ask me if I found any treasures. I had a dress, bra and pair of pantyhose in my basket. Yeah, treasure... They wash everything real well and only put out the stuff that is in good condition so don't worry about it. Women give away clothes that in some cases are never worn.

Consignment Stores are another fun place to shop, but you may need to do the "gift for my wife" thing because the people behind the counter may get nosey. But still, a sale is a sale. They don't care if you are going to use that dress for a woman you have tied up in the trunk of your car that you plan to sacrifce to the Giant Spaggetti Monster.

Always remember what I concdier to be the first rule of cross dressing. People don't care what you are doing. They don't really want to know. They dont really want to be a part of your life. They just want to live their lives and be left alone.

If you find a curious george who asks lots of questions don't worry. Odds are even if you said "I am going to go home, dress up in this and dance around to ABBA." they wont remember you next time. Humans just aren't wired to do that. Think about the people you meet through your line of work. How many of them could you pick out of a lineup a week later?

Just get out there and live your life however you want to.

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Guest fantastictoo


I also like going to Walmart for the self checkout lanes. I don't like the people who tend to mill about around the womens area either,or the feminine products like the makeup section either. Eventually it gets easier, I think. I've been doing it so long that I almost feel add if I belong there. With Halloween coming up, I can't think of a better reason to be shopping for clothes, and Christmas too.

Good luck and be strong, sister!



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Guest carolynn2fem

It took me years to figure out that first I have to be comfortable ME and that I am doing nothing wrong. examane Your additudes and behaiviors. If Your nervous You will put off a bad vibe and they will pick up on it and will be more closely watched by security and the sales people. there radar just picked up you as a posible shop lifter.

if You are in a smaller store. and I hear a welcome to (insert store name) Dress barn I look the sales person in the face and say hello. the unspoken truth is She is profiling Me. (is her job) what profile i fit into depends on my actions, If I dont make eye contact I will be unduely watched as a posible shoplifter. so engauge them as they engage You. the sales lady asked me if I knew what I was looking for and I pointed my finger at her and I asked her if she got her dress here? she said Yes but the last one just sold off the clearnce rack. then she started to ask what size my lady freind was? about a 10-12. occasion casual of career? work. she showed me a few more and I ended up buying one I liked. I was in Guy mode. she may have suspected I was a crossdresser buying for myself but didnt let on to it if she did. but it was a fun experiance for me. just be comfortable and confidant.

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  • Forum Moderator

I was always uncomfortable at shopping. Now as a woman its my world but for years i felt like you do. I shopped and still do at thrift stores and at discount stores. I was the clothes i buy regardless of new or used. After that i don't care if they are slightly worn. My goal is to blend in and when i move around the market or even go to art galleries women are not dressed to the 9's. I shop where they do unless they have a really rich husband and no children to spend their money on. Try to buy tasteful but inexpensive clothes if you plan to go out of the house. At home it never mattered if a skirt or blouse was too tight. First thing though is to look at the sizing charts in the fashion section and in catalogues. Different makers unfortunately have different cuts so if you can't try it on see if you can return it.

Most of all enjoy. I would say i was shopping for my disabled wife or make another excuse.



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Thanks to everyone for your helpful advice and sharing your experiences. I don't know if I could do the same, but I'll try. Of course if I was passable as a woman it wouldn't be an issue. But that's a chicken and egg scenario-I won't get passable until I work on it, lose the weight and of course dress as the opposite sex-which is my goal (and to transition one day hopefully).

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Guest Chrissy6455

I've gone shopping many times in guy mode, although, it can be very nerve racking, I've personally figured out , really noone cares. I always had the though that people were looking at me and probably thinking to themselves all kinds of bad thoughts, but after a few times, It really turns out just about noone really gives you a second thought. For all they know you could be shopping for your wife/girlfriend, so keep that in mine when you go shopping. Also Online is a great place to get all kinds of clothing as well if you are too nervous to go into a store.



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Hello Sandra!

You may have seen my previous posts relating to this.

You are the customer. The vendor (Store) wants your monies. He or She does not care what you do with the product after you buy it. He or She does not care whether you are buying for yourself or someone else.

I shop at WalMart, The Bay, Sears, independent shops and online.

Some times it is a "crap shoot" when you buy on-line due to non standardized sizing. But with a needle and a thread you can usually fix most things.

Mostly staff do not bother you. If they do, just tell them that you know what you're looking for. They'll usually leave you alone.

The more quieter times for shopping is usually "mid week" and "mid day". Unless you go to a "lingerie store", then you do expect service.

It does become easier with practise.

Remember, shopping is FUN. :thumbsup:



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Guest MsGsptlsnz

MsGsptlsnz "I am going to go home, dress up in this and dance around to ABBA.".........Have you been spying on me?

Lucky guess I supose... I am not allowed in Scotland... Or Denmark for that matter... Can't explain why, I'd have to kill you... Top secret stuff don't ya' know.... You didn't just read this... I was never here....

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Guest MsGsptlsnz

I don't know if I could do the same, but I'll try.

Do this as an exercise. Try to remember what the last checkout person you dealth with was wearing. Can you remember their hair color or style? If they were a man or a woman. How old they appeared to be....

If the answer to all of those is "I've no freeking clue!" then keep that in mind when you shop. No one will remember you after you leave.

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  • Forum Moderator

When i first went out as a woman i passed like a dog trying to look like a cat.

Not too well. I went shopping and to a restaurant. They were nice to me. I had the $ and gave the tip. If they remembered me it was as a good tipper. I have a dear friend who will never pass and dresses terribly but lives her life as a woman full time. She just does it. Shopping isn't too hard if you let go and enjoy. Lie if you must but free yourself from the fear by just doing it. Its easier every time!



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The key in shopping as attitude and repetition. Act like you've been shopping this way for a long time. And through repetition, you will feel that way. You will lose more of your anxiety every time you shop. At Goodwill I've shopped for women's clothes without makeup or dressed up as androgynous. But I've done it for awhile and don't really care what others think. I find if I'm comfortable and friendly, the clerk will be also. I could even ask them what I'm looking for and they are usually very happy to help. If you feel comfortable you aren't going to draw much attention. After over two years shopping exclusively for women's clothes, it now is second nature. I actually feel way out of place in the men's section.

I buy most of my clothes from Thrift Stores, but I will buy from Ross, Marshall's, Lane Bryant (when bras are on sale), and Nordstrom Rack when there are sales or clearance. Nordstrom Rack is a really good place to find big woman's shoes (I wear size 12-13). For less expensive decent shoes I go to Payless Shoe Store.

I think the far tougher thing is when you start using the restroom as the gender you identity.



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I shop a lot at

thrift stores because I am still learning what size I am (lost 10 lb this summer). I did pick up 2 bras and a garter belt from Sears catalogue yesterday, 38 A bras are hard to find. I will switch to regular stores as I learn more and decide on a look for me.

I have always found clerks helpful and freindly and usually chat at the cash. They call me dear and honey even in drab giggle.

hugs rita

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Guest PauletteX

I buy alot of my clothes online from WomanWithin. Not only is the name cool, but the prices are good, selection is great and sizes fit a CD of my size! Check them out.


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Guest Wendae

GW is great. I use the men's dressing room. No one pays any attention. I also order from the Woman Within and E-bay. If you know your sizes shop anywhere. You can always return most stuff. Relax! Enjoy! Shop!!

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Guest Robin Winter

Value Village!!!!

It's mostly used clothing, but it's amazing how much of it still has the original tags on. My wife and I went just tuesday again. I got lots of stuff ^_^ Sweaters, pants (green corduroy, yayyy!), etc.

Seriously though, don't be afraid of used clothing places, just make sure you wash everything before wearing it.

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Guest meagan

Rita63, I saw you mention looking for 38A bras and I got curious and looked up my favs Chantelle in that size on ebay. Should check it out, there is a really nice selection in your size there. Chantelle is my fav brand, they always fit so well and look great too. 38 band size bras are not a common size. At least when i am in store looking around, there are hundreds in 32-36 and none to few in 38.

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Guest Gerilynn

They don't care if you are going to use that dress for a woman you have tied up in the trunk of your car that you plan to sacrifce to the Giant Spaggetti Monster.

"I am going to go home, dress up in this and dance around to ABBA." they wont remember you next time. Humans just aren't wired to do that. Think about the people you meet through your line of work. How many of them could you pick out of a lineup a week later?

Just get out there and live your life however you want to.

Amen Sister! I dance around to Devil Doll more than ABBA but Whoo Hoo!

THank you all for such great advice. I do shop the Walmart self checkout and get skittish when the department is full. But like everyone has said I just try to enjoy. I did have a great thrift store I frequented and the ladies knew me and held things for me that was the absolute most wonderful experience. Unfortunately they closed.

I hope I got the quote thing right



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Guest MsGsptlsnz

Amen Sister! I dance around to Devil Doll more than ABBA but Whoo Hoo!

Isn't that fun! To just cut loose and dance with your hands in the air! Wiggling and jiggling to to music! SO much better than the robot like no hands above the shoulder rule men follow.

Thank you all for such great advice. I do shop the Walmart self checkout and get skittish when the department is full. But like everyone has said I just try to enjoy. I did have a great thrift store I frequented and the ladies knew me and held things for me that was the absolute most wonderful experience. Unfortunately they closed.

Yeah, I'll admit if I see anyone I know through work I abandon my mission and get out of there. My boss is in his 60's and I am so far in the closet at work I am hiding behind bell bottom pants....

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Guest Stefie

Hi Sandra;

I have been going to buy all my female clothing from various stores for several years and

honestly I was really terrified at first but I soon realized that these people don`t care and if

you could get comfortable with who you are and just relax. If you see something pretty

and can`t find your size then ask one of the clerks,trust me they too will be comfortable

knowing you aren`t a shop lifte.

I got comfortable shopping because I have always loved to wear pantyhose and nylons

I must have went through thousands of pairs over the years. So you could imagine

I can shop Wal-Mart Lingerie dept. and be completely alone because they are used to me.

I was at J C Penny and saw some really sexy high heels that I just had to have but they cut

the size of at size 8. I asked the clerk if she had my size and she went to check and come

back to tell me no and walked away,she probably wishes she did not ever want to see me again.

I pitched me a fit and caused a mini scene, the manager got involved and he ordered my size,

and said they would be in by that thursday and he took my name and number and he called me

when they arrived and as I was going to pay for them he gave me a card that allowed me to

get another pair of heels or womens shoes of my choice limited to in stock only and I did for

free. He also set my own on line store acct up as did Wal Mart.

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..... I pitched me a fit and caused a mini scene, the manager got involved and he ordered my size, .......

Absolutely priceless, Stefie!

Must remember to do that some day.



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Guest Krystyna_Marie

I buy a lot of my clothes @ Goodwill and Salvation Army thrift stores, Dresses for $5, Skirts and tops for $4, the odd prom dress (!!!). For Shoes, I like Shoe Show, Rack Room (they carry 11s, 12s :blush: ) inexpensive, generally speaking. I shop Marshall's & Ross Dress for Less also when I want to splurge.



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